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  1. <?xml version='1.0' encoding='UTF-8'?><?xml-stylesheet href="http://www.blogger.com/styles/atom.css" type="text/css"?><feed xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom' xmlns:openSearch='http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearchrss/1.0/' xmlns:blogger='http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008' xmlns:georss='http://www.georss.org/georss' xmlns:gd="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005" xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2748984712934822405</id><updated>2024-03-14T05:02:56.787-07:00</updated><title type='text'>Nothing Suits Me</title><subtitle type='html'></subtitle><link rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#feed' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://nothingsuitsme.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/2748984712934822405/posts/default'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://nothingsuitsme.blogspot.com/'/><link rel='hub' href='http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/'/><author><name>Haunshaul</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/14345594236643362563</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><generator version='7.00' uri='http://www.blogger.com'>Blogger</generator><openSearch:totalResults>5</openSearch:totalResults><openSearch:startIndex>1</openSearch:startIndex><openSearch:itemsPerPage>25</openSearch:itemsPerPage><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2748984712934822405.post-7958070206889254719</id><published>2021-05-17T13:23:00.003-07:00</published><updated>2023-12-08T19:46:59.165-08:00</updated><title type='text'>How I Read the Worst Book of My Life: A Review</title><content type='html'>&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Aeon Legion: Labyrinth &lt;/i&gt;by J.P. Beaubien is the worst book I&#39;ve ever read in my life.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a aria-label=&quot;Photo - Portrait - Apr 21, 2021, 6:40:39 PM&quot; class=&quot;p137Zd&quot; href=&quot;https://photos.google.com/photo/AF1QipNGpWiZ7uv5QjQrqtIjC9Tp1aDJ-qnq84mi_Mqt&quot; jsaction=&quot;click:eQuaEb;focus:AHmuwe; blur:O22p3e;&quot; tabindex=&quot;0&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;RY3tic&quot; data-latest-bg=&quot;https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/1Bt2LRC1gFmDM7UzIB6vA1YBGY331xsnNY08P2lhDRQ0KWYPeodvH1sycppOKtd8VAviSIME6s9XidZLobf6PDQmD2sJfqEa_LQXAW5vMYhQJFI7kM68AqYMPtV-Ge96SBdOFoZxBJlHXh5XGsmc4byAZPvEeaSqJWeaG7SDs0Jl_sSr9iWFufLeaA0hH96XkB2W5u1jg7Wl_WgefTWQYsRK2e3LxKPbmul45eK6_yZmerDDSnY9OQuATA1_p7pG8cq6U04RQ9u1cVAhRtLTQTupQDICE8yI8xrog3gpaf6_szaNE5kDRYH1qcNjF0iHnJPJEYIo3roS2XF3ii1tnhuR4VQ2hO06jmVpynBW8jgN4LhOJUrC2scCeJEkPWoKX8EOSJqNGo5mTs_ZRkCaVPw8157hcouf072SnRsi20fuU8CoPYv3p4wiDxsIXeQ5kewmp_kayj-7d4D47sNMzaj2kl04b8vAX11zhka2agmOf9v8RtpPP4QWe5FTugpq_t7F3kA8RhnwFoflaueZJnMesC5n-5XpVxFaIrpYZcYrdZhNAFTz_-1KzWNOYGOEH4lTg-3EICvlzsI3VBjwZKxARc-Ghdd4bBlpV-p-6zM-Qb6CSU6O26768fxkNzUO9UQlJS5iMfsSX7DMyenG8-dUVYCXXoznxd6U29WGGcLXdP_Ry3YbHXVorpBJceklYJtRlX9a2vK9qE0I_SyFZ969gQ=w174-h232-no?authuser=0&quot; style=&quot;background-image: url(&amp;quot;https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/1Bt2LRC1gFmDM7UzIB6vA1YBGY331xsnNY08P2lhDRQ0KWYPeodvH1sycppOKtd8VAviSIME6s9XidZLobf6PDQmD2sJfqEa_LQXAW5vMYhQJFI7kM68AqYMPtV-Ge96SBdOFoZxBJlHXh5XGsmc4byAZPvEeaSqJWeaG7SDs0Jl_sSr9iWFufLeaA0hH96XkB2W5u1jg7Wl_WgefTWQYsRK2e3LxKPbmul45eK6_yZmerDDSnY9OQuATA1_p7pG8cq6U04RQ9u1cVAhRtLTQTupQDICE8yI8xrog3gpaf6_szaNE5kDRYH1qcNjF0iHnJPJEYIo3roS2XF3ii1tnhuR4VQ2hO06jmVpynBW8jgN4LhOJUrC2scCeJEkPWoKX8EOSJqNGo5mTs_ZRkCaVPw8157hcouf072SnRsi20fuU8CoPYv3p4wiDxsIXeQ5kewmp_kayj-7d4D47sNMzaj2kl04b8vAX11zhka2agmOf9v8RtpPP4QWe5FTugpq_t7F3kA8RhnwFoflaueZJnMesC5n-5XpVxFaIrpYZcYrdZhNAFTz_-1KzWNOYGOEH4lTg-3EICvlzsI3VBjwZKxARc-Ghdd4bBlpV-p-6zM-Qb6CSU6O26768fxkNzUO9UQlJS5iMfsSX7DMyenG8-dUVYCXXoznxd6U29WGGcLXdP_Ry3YbHXVorpBJceklYJtRlX9a2vK9qE0I_SyFZ969gQ=w174-h232-no?authuser=0&amp;quot;); opacity: 1;&quot;&gt;&lt;div aria-hidden=&quot;true&quot; class=&quot;eGiHwc&quot;&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div aria-hidden=&quot;true&quot; class=&quot;KYCEmd&quot;&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV6JZgps5aZQke7VTpnG6Y__B5P905r0B4QMWCaYG-SbarSjh9qWgs0JTinRUyglz6bdWLminTPhOGzytb95akWXrplHvr4RjBXT3g08IcDYce5fryBpsYkE8tkoWIJfMCA3LxaiWEDb8/s4032/PXL_20210422_014039308.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;4032&quot; data-original-width=&quot;3024&quot; height=&quot;400&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV6JZgps5aZQke7VTpnG6Y__B5P905r0B4QMWCaYG-SbarSjh9qWgs0JTinRUyglz6bdWLminTPhOGzytb95akWXrplHvr4RjBXT3g08IcDYce5fryBpsYkE8tkoWIJfMCA3LxaiWEDb8/w300-h400/PXL_20210422_014039308.jpg&quot; width=&quot;300&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;I was going to start with more of an introduction--a brief tour of other bad books I&#39;ve read, maybe a snappy metaphor--but I can&#39;t even muster up one of those, because this entire thing just &lt;i&gt;baffles&amp;nbsp;&lt;/i&gt;me.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;First, let&#39;s talk about why I read this book.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;For over five years, I&#39;ve been in a book club with a few friends I met through the SmackJeeves webcomic community. The impetus behind the club was simple--one of these friends admitted to not having finished reading a single novel in years. We began with what was a pretty safe bet--Max Brooks&#39;s &lt;i&gt;World War Z&lt;/i&gt;--and have continued to read an average of nine books a year, ranging from true crime to graphic novels to paranormal romance. Even though we live in four different states and have schedules that prevent us from doing much in the way of anything else together, the book club has cemented itself as a mainstay in our relationship.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Our selection system is as follows: one member of the club will choose a theme, and every member will select a book that fits. We try to keep the categories broad--teen, nonfiction, books with movie adaptations--to ensure some variety in our choices. When it comes to our individual book choices, we each have a particular M.O. For example, I try to only choose books that I already own, because I always have three-hundred-plus books that I haven&#39;t read waiting on my shelves. Another member tries to find books that have been highly rated, to ensure we don&#39;t end up with too many duds over the years. And the dear, dear friend that chose our current theme looks for books that will &quot;provide an interesting discussion&quot;.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;This means she picks bad books almost exclusively.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;To her credit, they aren&#39;t all &lt;i&gt;awful&lt;/i&gt;. Some of them I would even go so far as to call &quot;fine&quot;. Books like &lt;i&gt;The Howling, &lt;/i&gt;or... well... I&#39;m sure she&#39;ll have another one someday.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;The current theme is &quot;time&quot;, which can be interpreted in a number of ways--seasonal events, aging, multigenerational narratives. But, since our group trends towards speculative fiction, the first book ended up being about time travel. That book was &lt;i&gt;Aeon Legion: Labyrinth&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;by J.P. Beaubien.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Going into this book, I was not aware of Beaubien in any meaningful capacity. It turns out that he is the creator of Terrible Writing Advice, a YouTube channel with over 300,000 subscribers that utilizes a simple animation style and sarcastic delivery with the intent of helping amateur writers improve their craft.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;img height=&quot;225&quot; src=&quot;https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ZUsGPf-Ckm0/maxresdefault.jpg&quot; style=&quot;-webkit-user-select: none; background-color: #e6e6e6; cursor: zoom-in; margin: auto; transition: background-color 300ms ease 0s; user-select: none;&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;You maybe wondering if this post is written for fans of Beaubien&#39;s videos, or for those who dislike them. I know little about the man and his work outside this novel and some cursory research into his other activities, so I don&#39;t think having an opinion on him one way or the other going into this breakdown is necessary. My goal is not to attack his character directly, or make definitive statements about a man I don&#39;t know personally. However, I will comment a bit on my perception of the author based on my reading of the text. Furthermore, Beaubien&#39;s background as a provider of writing advice is crucial to understanding why this book was such a frustrating read. So, with that in mind, let&#39;s start with the cover.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;The book contains a review blurb on the back from an organization called Best Fantasy Books HQ, which says, &quot;This series redefines exciting (but intelligent) reading.&quot; You can decide for yourself at the end of this post if the statement rings true, but I find it interesting that the site this review supposedly comes from seems to have died shortly after the novel was published. I found their website, which seems to not have been updated since 2016 (several articles on the front page are dated for that year). Furthermore, only the main page&amp;nbsp;of the site remains live, and attempting to click on any button, link, or drop-down item redirects to the same message:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtjPouZdL0jm1L2WeG1hL6nKmSRBjIqlCaMQlzxgmbkUiftVWfC9MhXDNYpYnzAlsykxMo_WFTKwdp-PTQwWDLWJcMXAc3wdzTa_bZ8W3rbMA4KJdcDTQyd0dbkyzwJ4HtbVNAgP4RYF4/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;203&quot; data-original-width=&quot;711&quot; height=&quot;183&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtjPouZdL0jm1L2WeG1hL6nKmSRBjIqlCaMQlzxgmbkUiftVWfC9MhXDNYpYnzAlsykxMo_WFTKwdp-PTQwWDLWJcMXAc3wdzTa_bZ8W3rbMA4KJdcDTQyd0dbkyzwJ4HtbVNAgP4RYF4/w640-h183/Screenshot+%252894%2529.png&quot; width=&quot;640&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It&#39;s worth noting, however, that the site&#39;s mailing list pop-up still works juuust fine.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_7op4TKUFV2ZJhfshCyI_NgexJ0Z0GCKP8lLNV0sM9CtrZqJ9nzmb6E2GR70tD5sjMQwAasRsOrgMDC2BVA6yF0SEz3qqBisiIq75kaJSq2FNa0gdJKcRdDT_vMrV6S2V9qRa4w8TIXw/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;742&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1229&quot; height=&quot;386&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_7op4TKUFV2ZJhfshCyI_NgexJ0Z0GCKP8lLNV0sM9CtrZqJ9nzmb6E2GR70tD5sjMQwAasRsOrgMDC2BVA6yF0SEz3qqBisiIq75kaJSq2FNa0gdJKcRdDT_vMrV6S2V9qRa4w8TIXw/w640-h386/Screenshot+%252895%2529.png&quot; width=&quot;640&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;So. Let&#39;s discuss the book itself.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;i&gt;Aeon Legion: Labyrinth&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;tells the story of Terra Mason, an average twenty-first-century girl who finds herself thrust into the world of the Aeon Legion, a sort of time police in charge of protecting the branching timelines of the universe from numerous foes. Along the way, Terra makes allies and enemies alike and transforms from an aimless American teenager to a brave and adventurous heroine.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Now, based on this description, the novel sounds, at worst, inoffensive. I mean, what&#39;s to hate about a classic hero&#39;s journey with a bit of time travel thrown in?&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;But, to reiterate:&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;Aeon Legion: Labyrinth&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;is the worst book I&#39;ve ever read in my life...&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;...and I have the receipts.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Let&#39;s start with the Nazis.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;The novel begins--opening line, even--with Nazis attacking an American library in the year 2000, a result of the time travel experimentation of a Nazi scientist named Hanns. He plans to steal a book on World War II history and bring it back home to 1940-ish, then use the information contained within to help Germany win the war. Our protagonist, Terra, is one of the civilians caught in this event, but the day is quickly saved by Alya Silverwind, a warrior with flowing silver hair, a gleaming sword, and the ability to manipulate time for things like super-speed and... well, mostly that. While Silverwind takes out almost every Nazi, Terra takes this massive distraction as an opportunity to hit Hanns in the head with a rock.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;This will turn out to be the most important thing Terra ever does.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;You see, this act of bravery--hitting a Nazi with a rock--has made Terra the apple of Silverwind&#39;s eye, and Terra is selected to be Silverwind&#39;s next squire in the Aeon Legion, the sword-wielding time police that Silverwind is one of the most prominent members of. Silverwind is known for choosing great squires, such as Kairos, a beloved warrior who died long ago and was so influential that there was an entire memorial garden constructed in her name. And how it&#39;s Terra&#39;s chance to be part of this illustrious lineage.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;We&#39;ll come back to Terra&#39;s adventure in a minute, but I want to follow Hanns for a bit. You see, Hanns was not killed by the dreaded &quot;rock to the head&quot; technique. Nor was he punished, outside of being told not to meddle with time again (which he has been told twice already, apparently). He returns home, and will continue to meddle with time. And during all his Nazi escapades, we are constantly being told one crucial detail: Hanns is &lt;i&gt;not like other Nazis&lt;/i&gt;. He may be part of their regime and wish for German victory and worldwide influence, but he has no interest in the persecution and genocide of Jewish people. He merely wants what&#39;s best for his country.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIJwHvvVJSYKBee4gwWKzndJQDrYub8IhljPvvj86dxtgenga2PCGUmKKa099A-9uoTJE6yJCpSRESXA-JZoHMkFdA3CpQbY8n6EDISBkP6JcgYiQAfH4x1RZTgRD7blOc0Upo4x28smE/s1918/not+like+other+nazis.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;662&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1918&quot; height=&quot;220&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIJwHvvVJSYKBee4gwWKzndJQDrYub8IhljPvvj86dxtgenga2PCGUmKKa099A-9uoTJE6yJCpSRESXA-JZoHMkFdA3CpQbY8n6EDISBkP6JcgYiQAfH4x1RZTgRD7blOc0Upo4x28smE/w640-h220/not+like+other+nazis.png&quot; width=&quot;640&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;THIS IS A PROBLEM.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;While I have no doubt that it&#39;s possible for a talented author to write a Nazi character with nuance, Beaubien is &lt;i&gt;not&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;a talented author. As such, the take of &quot;not like other Nazis&quot; comes across as, at best, misguided and misinformed--Hanns seems unaware of Hitler&#39;s plan to exterminate millions of Jews, despite concentration camps being under construction as early as 1933, and makes no reference to the fact that anti-Jewish sentiments were core tenets of Nazi documents as early as 1920--and, at worst, like the author is taking some sort of Nazi-sympathizing stance. I&#39;m fairly confident the case is the former, and my feeling is that Beaubien&#39;s research for these topics consisted of cursory glances at Wikipedia entries without any follow-up digging. However, there are still several troubling passages that should have been rewritten or entirely removed. Of particular note is when Hanns tells Terra that Jewish people are &quot;holding [Germans] back by hoarding all the wealth,&quot; and neither Terra nor Beaubien&#39;s narration make any attempt to disprove this statement. Instead, Terra merely counters that genocide is not an acceptable solution to this problem, implying that the problem itself is still a valid one, just inappropriately handled.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;In 2016, Hanns&#39;s &quot;not like other Nazis&quot; character distinction is poorly-handled and uncomfortable. In a post-Trump America, it&#39;s straight-up dangerous.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Okay. Back to Terra.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;After some absolutely laughable dialogue with her cardboard parents--the sentence &quot;This family prospered because of my determination and your father&#39;s self sacrifice&quot; is uttered in complete sincerity--and a brief trip to 1933 to watch Franklin Roosevelt&#39;s inauguration--Terra is fascinated by FDR, a detail that is promptly forgotten after this scene--she is taken to Saturn City, a land out of time that houses the Aeon Legion Academy, among other things. This city, and the legion itself, are obviously Beaubien&#39;s pride and joy. Chapter V (the author &lt;i&gt;really&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;likes ancient Roman culture) is pages and pages of Terra observing the folks of Saturn City as they assess visitors, praise Silverwind (turns out she&#39;s one of twelve heroes called the Legendary Blades), and make reference to numerous people, places, and concepts that the reader mostly has no use or context for. Silverwind abruptly abandons Terra to find her own way into the Academy, because Silverwind&#39;s core personality trait is that she is carefree to a fault--flighty, one might say.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Despite having little guidance, Terra is able to find her way to the Academy&amp;nbsp;and secure a spot in its current class not due to her status as a squire, but because she hit a Nazi with a rock. She has shown herself to be brave, but also very determined, refusing to back down when the heads of the Academy&amp;nbsp;tell her she&#39;s not good enough to make it. She is stubborn--like a rock, one might say.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Once she&#39;s accepted into the Academy,&amp;nbsp;she is given a shieldwatch, a device that strengthens her connection with time and will eventually allow her to manipulate time and even restore people and places to previous states should they become damaged. During her classes--during which almost nothing is ever taught, with the &quot;instructors&quot; instead telling the class to do something and then waiting for them to figure it out on their own--Terra shows little aptitude for anything, but continues to stubbornly hang on throughout each trial she faces. She&#39;s not like Hikari, who is innately talented but has a fiery temper, or Roland, who is a master manipulator but also flows like water when he moves.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;Tumblr: Image&quot; class=&quot;ZUMYC&quot; src=&quot;https://64.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6mb6rEfve1rxkcb8o1_500.jpg&quot; /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Have you caught on yet?&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Now, there&#39;s nothing inherently wrong with comparing your characters to elements, or any other simile for that matter. There&#39;s also nothing wrong with choosing a name that references a character&#39;s core trait. The problem lies in Beaubien&#39;s unwillingness (or inability) to describe his characters as &lt;i&gt;anything&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;other than their singular trait. Terra (which means &quot;earth&quot;) Mason (someone who works with stone) is never described as &lt;i&gt;anything&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;other than stone, rock, or iron. She is &lt;i&gt;always&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;stubborn, unmoving, unfeeling, enduring. Alya (which means &quot;sky&quot;) Silverwind is &lt;i&gt;always&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;quick, aloof, and unable to be pinned down. Hikari (which means &quot;light&quot;) is &lt;i&gt;always&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;bold, violent, and temperamental. And Roland (whose last name is revealed in the final chapter to be Delmare, meaning &quot;of the sea&quot;) is &lt;i&gt;always&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;flowing and graceful, even when he&#39;s busy being a dirty, dirty cheater (we&#39;ll get to that).&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Again, you can do this &lt;i&gt;sometimes&lt;/i&gt;. Think about the &lt;i&gt;Harry Potter&lt;/i&gt; series, where every name is meticulously constructed. Yes, Sirius Black is named for the dog constellation, has a canine Animagus form, and is loyal to a fault. But he&#39;s also a complex man with protective instincts and reckless impulses, a quiet intelligence and a bold streak, family riches and twelve years lost to Azkaban. Beaubien&#39;s characters lack anything but their single defining trait (excluding the few times when Terra throws out snappy one-liners after action sequences, despite having nothing approaching a wit at any other point in the story).&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Speaking of dog men, the head of the Legion is a man named Lycus (&quot;wolf&quot;) Cerberus (self-explanatory) who is described as having a &quot;wolfish&quot; or &quot;wolf like [sic]&quot; grin no less than seven times. We counted.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Now, at this point, I need to admit something. Up until Terra reached the Academy, I thought there was about a ten-percent chance this book was a parody. Having been made aware of Beaubien&#39;s YouTube career, I thought that an intentionally atrocious book might serve as some sort of teaching device in service of his wider strategy. It wasn&#39;t until I got about a quarter of the way into the book that I realized he was out of time to pull the surprise reveal, and that the book was going to be every bit as awful all the way through.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdZeQt-OXs1dVcl212oHlZEHWbZeLwsdqhR4OpmL6gsqK2B5pA-4yutjQkSbjegbjvVkW2sC2VYYlPMEx9iFLGwCspjaY8DSdOnDFS_xRk_ribL12N0wLHdTx6goCfqVCCy9oS9zN7UJE/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;375&quot; data-original-width=&quot;500&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdZeQt-OXs1dVcl212oHlZEHWbZeLwsdqhR4OpmL6gsqK2B5pA-4yutjQkSbjegbjvVkW2sC2VYYlPMEx9iFLGwCspjaY8DSdOnDFS_xRk_ribL12N0wLHdTx6goCfqVCCy9oS9zN7UJE/s16000/n4scgse21iuz.jpg&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;During her tenure at the Academy, Terra and the other &quot;tiros&quot; (one of many terms borrowed from ancient Rome, meaning &quot;beginner&quot;) are awarded points based on their performance. Points are exchanged for new weapons, and can be traded through the Trial of Blades, a system of formal duels that Hikari apparently spends her entire free time engaging in. Tiros who end a week with zero points are cast out of the Academy and returned home. Thankfully, Terra manages to hang on to at least one point due to her unflinching determination.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Or, you know, that would be the case if there was any sense of consistency in this book. It would be cheesy and predictable, but at least it would be in line with the characterizations being presented.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;However, as the pre-chapter excerpts from Cerberus&#39;s notes tell us, the points system is a trick! Points are given out in such a way to ensure that recruits like Terra who need a little extra time are able to hang on. This could be a good twist, and possibly a commentary on the difference between hard work and natural talent, except for two small issues.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;The first is that Cerberus&#39;s pre-chapter notes come way too early. By that, I mean that the reader is explicitly told the points are a lie well before the chapter where Terra will eventually learn this herself. It&#39;s explicitly stated that points totals should be manipulated to favor recruits like Terra, so we the readers couldn&#39;t care less what her point total becomes over the next several chapters. This is a structural choice the author makes several times, repeatedly robbing his readers of any suspense.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;The second problem with the points reveal is that most other tests in the book also have twist endings.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;When Terra first becomes a tiro, the recruits are offered the chance to participate in three different trials. Completion of each one will earn them a point, but the tests are all optional. Terra attempts--and fails--all three, but once the trials are over, her instructor reveals that the real &lt;i&gt;test&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;was to at least attempt each of the three &lt;i&gt;trials&lt;/i&gt;, regardless of success or failure. This means that even though Terra has no skill in any of the trials (actually, she&#39;s a good climber, but like many other details this hardly matters), she still succeeds through being stubborn enough to at least try them. Then, later, the tiros are dropped into the Cretaceous period and forced to survive. Terra is abducted by a group of enemy soldiers that torture her before it&#39;s revealed that they&#39;re just other Aeon Legion members testing them. This one doesn&#39;t necessarily nullify the test itself, but it does mean the reader is trained to expect these &quot;surprise&quot; revelations.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaSBk5_WxvP4v8NKN44ym4P3Cm1gyqrmGwWOJbwZlLG9bbf1lNRoEXanD24DyjY5o56Hvu2dtsf8yHmGxIVB8jK4-qPAJOF679uH0XJr46JvP8VAUUgMH09j5ioLh96uBvUsGnOK46oMM/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;813&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1446&quot; height=&quot;225&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaSBk5_WxvP4v8NKN44ym4P3Cm1gyqrmGwWOJbwZlLG9bbf1lNRoEXanD24DyjY5o56Hvu2dtsf8yHmGxIVB8jK4-qPAJOF679uH0XJr46JvP8VAUUgMH09j5ioLh96uBvUsGnOK46oMM/w400-h225/image.png&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The fact that the points are manipulated is revealed partway through Terra&#39;s training, but it isn&#39;t until Terra is about to enter the Labyrinth--the final collection of twelve trials that will determine if she becomes a super-special time cop--that she&#39;s told that not only are the points manipulated, they don&#39;t matter at all. It&#39;s a double twist! At this point, it&#39;s kind of like watching an M. Night Shyamalan marathon--the reveals would be less predictable if there weren&#39;t so many of them in a row.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Terra, as I mentioned earlier, is not the only recruit being tested for time-cop status. Far from it, as there are actually thousands of tiros undergoing this rigorous training. You have Hikari, the talented-yet-brash warrior from Feudal Japan, who is better than almost everyone at almost everything--combat, agility, driving (we&#39;ll get to that). There&#39;s also Roland, a knight of Charlemagne with a silver tongue who isn&#39;t afraid to lie or cheat to succeed. Rounding out the core group of heroes is Zaid, who is the only named POC besides Hikari that I can confirm is not white.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;And... that&#39;s about it. I guess there&#39;s Vand, a bully who gets his neck snapped in a comically-edgy demonstration of the shieldwatch&#39;s restorative capabilities before being kicked out. And a couple one-off tiros who are only named when it is needed for them to speak. But it wasn&#39;t until I was told during the final chapter that there were thousands of tiros at the start that I knew there were thousands of tiros at the start. The Academy, for all its supposed glory, mostly felt like a giant empty coliseum for Terra and her three named allies to come into their own as requisite heroes.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;It becomes apparent over the course of several tests that Terra&#39;s class is Special. Almost every single time she or one of her few named classmates completes a task, it&#39;s noted how unusual it is for them to perform so well.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Some examples:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1ssXQQXJCummZOwFjI_4eGIpHo3WM1a8Z2r0L81JWj4TSuZSQtZczgz2ptTSE8le0ei_OBL5XkGtGFgsvgkzF_VLJI8NcJN8iKd6f3xVfc0CBkC89u-yG-v5tDo22Ct1AOlA9FOiWldM/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;456&quot; data-original-width=&quot;3024&quot; height=&quot;60&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1ssXQQXJCummZOwFjI_4eGIpHo3WM1a8Z2r0L81JWj4TSuZSQtZczgz2ptTSE8le0ei_OBL5XkGtGFgsvgkzF_VLJI8NcJN8iKd6f3xVfc0CBkC89u-yG-v5tDo22Ct1AOlA9FOiWldM/w400-h60/PXL_20210516_183656086.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Page 113, after Hikari crosses an obstacle course that&#39;s engulfed in flames.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcqSat2YMJsN3nV3h4WR93RAFIWZYNhS3AMmiyn9eimKobziT4OmGTNHdT36znZZrzPZBL-BRiCDyUbL1yJ_2h9ab2AI_1-cG9fs_QwL6Z-VDx1jBBDv8UnvnbZ_hYedFW7ETD0zFuMFY/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;392&quot; data-original-width=&quot;3024&quot; height=&quot;51&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcqSat2YMJsN3nV3h4WR93RAFIWZYNhS3AMmiyn9eimKobziT4OmGTNHdT36znZZrzPZBL-BRiCDyUbL1yJ_2h9ab2AI_1-cG9fs_QwL6Z-VDx1jBBDv8UnvnbZ_hYedFW7ETD0zFuMFY/w400-h51/PXL_20210516_183705449.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Page 118, when Roland is able to push his instructor off a platform.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD0h9sz6S3apffFHj6U-YdzV0ADyrO53PmSf8WjK2UYse0-rSu5OqvD1iySdKbY7fIBI2Svvn0exmHYZo2WYrclwRBKxjcdHmDpFaDPAxZbQhbAW78sN_UG1v2qDxQv6XCdBHwUFX62BE/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;298&quot; data-original-width=&quot;3024&quot; height=&quot;40&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD0h9sz6S3apffFHj6U-YdzV0ADyrO53PmSf8WjK2UYse0-rSu5OqvD1iySdKbY7fIBI2Svvn0exmHYZo2WYrclwRBKxjcdHmDpFaDPAxZbQhbAW78sN_UG1v2qDxQv6XCdBHwUFX62BE/w400-h40/PXL_20210516_183720049.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Page 128, when Terra manages to... stand the way her teacher tells her to (this one physically hurt my friend who took basic martial arts classes).&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6MMHRYU-06a3UQ-5JT5PmDjL7_SwYBgzgqUyfYWtt_LmLDz9c8YJuChgiv4lh_Lm9CmSkXy9EdSG96vxXBDE8Tji-N150mb6KM8pLYNCU75NItYr1Kk70GxZYYxE6b_iM8nqA1GNKz0A/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;430&quot; data-original-width=&quot;3024&quot; height=&quot;58&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6MMHRYU-06a3UQ-5JT5PmDjL7_SwYBgzgqUyfYWtt_LmLDz9c8YJuChgiv4lh_Lm9CmSkXy9EdSG96vxXBDE8Tji-N150mb6KM8pLYNCU75NItYr1Kk70GxZYYxE6b_iM8nqA1GNKz0A/w400-h58/PXL_20210516_183729410.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Page 151, right before Terra completes the course in question.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrtACrZLVtkQLo8tbkb0FJDo3dWY80D-O7eOtR3cfPY5zf3Z7ZbFu4Tb4F4_UwTtG0qwnH7ZalmD7p8hTwZqxO0-qlqZVW6YbZtXLDQjo9LtV_25VMbZhpDUb__dG131I52dfpimMHj9Q/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;431&quot; data-original-width=&quot;3024&quot; height=&quot;58&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrtACrZLVtkQLo8tbkb0FJDo3dWY80D-O7eOtR3cfPY5zf3Z7ZbFu4Tb4F4_UwTtG0qwnH7ZalmD7p8hTwZqxO0-qlqZVW6YbZtXLDQjo9LtV_25VMbZhpDUb__dG131I52dfpimMHj9Q/w400-h58/PXL_20210516_183738089.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Page 237, after an elaborate group exercise.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;If the Aeon Legion is so bad at choosing initiates that &lt;i&gt;this&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;is where the bar is set, I truly fear for the spacetime continuum.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;And yet, despite the recruits repeatedly exceeding expectations in the most banal ways imaginable, one of the instructors comments, &quot;I swear this group seems slower than last year&#39;s and I don&#39;t know how that&#39;s possible.&quot; The statement is wildly inaccurate considering Terra, Hikari, and Roland are doing things that nobody has done in several recruitment cycles. However, it brings up an interesting point: this place, which apparently tests thousands of recruits a year (a concept that seems completely useless in a city that exists &lt;i&gt;outside of time&lt;/i&gt;, but don&#39;t get me started on that), has no noteworthy students to speak of besides Kairos and our handful of named tiros from this apparently exceptional batch. It&#39;s almost like Beaubien is unable to hide the fact that the Academy has no historical function within his elaborate world, and only exists as a way to show off his main characters and get the readers to believe them to be destined for greatness.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;Specifically, though, the Academy is designed for Terra. A test based on willingness to give anything a shot strongly favors the person too stubborn to back down. Torture is easier for people who can endure more pain. The points system is manipulated to benefit someone who is giving it their all, even if they lack talent. (By the way, Terra&#39;s only skill-based talent is the same as Slipknot&#39;s from &lt;i&gt;Suicide Squad&lt;/i&gt;--she can climb anything. Outside of the test where we first learn this, it is useful exactly one time.) Terra excels in academics because she has the determination to... I guess read outside of class? These sections confuse me, by the way, because the teacher just tells the students they should have done their homework on what the day&#39;s topic was, rather than actually teach them anything at all. But Terra has the tenacity to... flip those pages... and becomes the pop quiz star of the class.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;I&#39;ve read plenty of young adult novels in my time (and believe me, this book is YA through and through, despite only being advertised as science fiction), and I know that it&#39;s very common for the protagonist to succeed through unconventional means. It&#39;s a way of appealing to the outsiders, the kids who don&#39;t feel like the typical path to success is viable for them. And that&#39;s commendable. But there&#39;s a big difference between a character who finds their own route to the top of the mountain and a mountain that is constantly rearranging itself to create a straight path for the protagonist. And that&#39;s what this book is doing--changing its rules and tying itself in pretzels to make it make sense that someone whose entire characterization is her ability to &lt;i&gt;let things happen to her&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;is successful.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Ultimately, I think, the book&#39;s biggest conceptual flaw is Terra&#39;s sole trait of endurance--which, to be clear, is different from stubbornness. Beaubien could have made a character who is hard-headed and bold, and propels themself through barriers to achieve success. Which he did. But it&#39;s Hikari. He could have also made a character who knows they can&#39;t succeed through traditional means, but are crafty enough to find their own solutions even if other people frown on their methods. Which he did. But it&#39;s Roland.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Instead, Beaubien chose to make his central character someone whose defining trait is passive. You cannot act on endurance, because endurance is merely the state of resisting other actions being thrust upon you. To that end, Terra has almost no agency in her own story. Scenes are frequently constructed by having Terra watch as someone else does something exciting, or having her be told what is going to happen next. She is a lens for us to watch the story through, but not someone we are experiencing the story with. She mostly sits there while the action happens around her.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ1GQKTktvT4b4zh5AJB3DHG3lDAnsLRtdK_XbS-WVUYPNv2QNt0pAJeD9mvi_n2rd-doBqRzDu5SowSanPU9BzkqEmzIjwhuDpaZCcRivNgU7uSAK0q_aVAO8gZPJJ2gul9QlWzhvaG8/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;450&quot; data-original-width=&quot;360&quot; height=&quot;320&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ1GQKTktvT4b4zh5AJB3DHG3lDAnsLRtdK_XbS-WVUYPNv2QNt0pAJeD9mvi_n2rd-doBqRzDu5SowSanPU9BzkqEmzIjwhuDpaZCcRivNgU7uSAK0q_aVAO8gZPJJ2gul9QlWzhvaG8/w256-h320/Tall-nut1.png&quot; width=&quot;256&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This is why, not only did I find the other characters more engaging (albeit only mildly, since they were also borne of feeble one-word characterizations), I rooted for them at the expense of Terra. In particular, I (and the rest of my book club) found Roland to be the one most likeable tiro. He can be a bit of a sly scoundrel, but he&#39;s also intelligent enough to recognize that the Academy is full of tricks anyways, so why not work a few of his own? In one scene, the tiros are tasked with disassembling, cleaning, and reassembling aeon edges, which are the fancy time swords like Silverwind uses. However, the wording of the task is merely to present a clean blade to the instructor at the end of the day. Roland does exactly that, by taking a clean blade off the rack and giving it to the teacher.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;And Terra &lt;i&gt;hates&lt;/i&gt; this.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Throughout the book, Terra is constantly aggravated at Roland&#39;s flippancy towards rules and honor. She berates him for lying about his past, and for the &quot;sneaky&quot; way he completes tasks--such as in an early test where he waits for the other recruits to try and fail to cross a series of ice floes, taking note of their mistakes before making his own attempt. I think it&#39;s fair to say that most readers would consider this a pretty smart way to solve the problem, especially considering Terra is one of the last recruits to attempt the firey obstacle course, the combat over water test, &lt;i&gt;and&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;the glacier climb, after watching most of the other recruits fail or the obstacles burn away. The only difference between Roland and Terra in these instances is that Terra hesistates because she is bad at things, and Roland hesitates because he&#39;s strategic. This double standard is not acknowledged, however, and Terra, for whatever reason, thinks Roland&#39;s wait-and-see approach--and every other instance of him using his wits--is shameful. And since the author knows nothing of nuance, we are meant to take this same stance and denounce Roland as a scoundrel.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;But my book club actually came to realize that Roland is the most interesting, relatable, and well-rounded character in the entire story, and lamented that he wasn&#39;t the protagonist. Because, especially in terms of the blade cleaning, Roland&#39;s right. He&#39;s playing the game the same way the Academy is playing him.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;And Beaubien doesn&#39;t acknowledge this. There is no scene that confirms this to be the &quot;true&quot; test in the way Terra passes the &quot;true&quot; test of just attempting things. Nope, it&#39;s just Roland &quot;cheating&quot; on a task, full stop, full double standard.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Maybe he didn&#39;t realize what he&#39;d done here. That he had telegraphed another &quot;test within a test&quot; and then not followed up on it because it wasn&#39;t Terra that would benefit. Or maybe he was catching onto the fact that he was leaning on the twist-ending tests too much.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;But it comes across to me like he&#39;s projecting his own insecurities and completely unaware of it.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;To be clear: I don&#39;t know a thing about Beaubien outside the text of this novel and about ninety seconds of one of his videos I watched after finishing the book. But between how he tries to paint Roland as someone to wag a finger at, and how Terra manages to be the most successful student despite having hardly any discernible skill or talent, and how hardly anybody believes in her... I&#39;m reading this as someone who is still working out some troubles they had during their school years, and has taken to writing a dream scenario where past hardships can be reworked into heroic successes. I won&#39;t speculate on the specifics of Beaubien&#39;s childhood, but between the vaguely strawman inserts (Roland, one of the most competent tiros who is despised because he uses his wits better than Terra and later gets &quot;punished&quot; with forced squireship instead of a cushy job) and the negatively-stereotyped portrayals of Terra&#39;s Earth classmates (the pretty popular girl, the big dumb jock, both of whom show up in a superfluous graduation scene at the start of the book), I felt I was looking into a teenager&#39;s mind--not the teenager that is the novel&#39;s protagonist, but the hypothetical teenager who concocted large portions of this story.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6AH85IADYxxCh8OmFGuPsWzkkcfoPw7ir-btDkQ3-7PtENChOiEUkbCC3NTrnQobhYGZe9Hg8bCUnT0NilvRKdohl-dScKxjO9VRBPdCrlaurini-c_dsUbAKnsx2QfxeRz9EbRT5RYM/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;865&quot; data-original-width=&quot;478&quot; height=&quot;240&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6AH85IADYxxCh8OmFGuPsWzkkcfoPw7ir-btDkQ3-7PtENChOiEUkbCC3NTrnQobhYGZe9Hg8bCUnT0NilvRKdohl-dScKxjO9VRBPdCrlaurini-c_dsUbAKnsx2QfxeRz9EbRT5RYM/&quot; width=&quot;133&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;To be honest, the entire novel feels stuck in a teenager&#39;s mind. It&#39;s filled with ideas but few details, characters but little characterization, dialogue that is meant to be hard-hitting or witty but lacks any sense of flow or nuance. It reminds me of the sort of writing I did when I was about thirteen. It was imaginative and novel-length, yes, but nothing was honed. There were plenty of words, but there wasn&#39;t a lot of care put into finding the right ones, or stringing them in the right order. Characters would often be built to fill roles, not built to be people. The Rule of Cool--wherein logic is set aside for the sake of scenes aspiring to movie trailer-level awesomeness or humor--always won. Dialogue was often the result of trying to forcibly replicate television scenes, without understanding their context or voice. This created rigid, laborious exchanges that felt more like two people trying to monologue past each other, adding details that had no business being there and forcing unrealistic responses for the sake of having emotion&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;somewhere&lt;/i&gt;.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;I actually see a lot of my own unpublished book in &lt;i&gt;Aeon Legion: Labyrinth&lt;/i&gt;. It takes me back to the passion I had in middle school for creating my own world and filling it with characters and scenes I thought were cool, and watching as the word count rose to something that could actually be considered a novel.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;If this were an artifact of a friend&#39;s childhood, I would probably be telling them how cool it was that they made something this expansive in their free time at such a young age. But there&#39;s a big difference between writing something this rough for fun and writing something this rough for profit. And there&#39;s an even bigger difference between writing something this rough for profit as a child amateur and writing something this rough for profit as a self-styled professional writing advisor.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;That&#39;s the part that annoys me so much about this book. It&#39;s not so much that I paid like fifteen dollars for this miserable experience, it&#39;s that it&#39;s a shoddy, unedited mess of tropes and missteps by someone that over &lt;i&gt;three hundred thousand &lt;/i&gt;viewers around the world look to for writing advice. It&#39;s sarcastic advice, of course--this is the internet we&#39;re talking about--but the end goal of his channel is to help others improve their writing, and as such he speaks from a self-appointed position of expertise. But either he didn&#39;t bother taking any of his own advice into consideration, or he &lt;i&gt;did&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;and still came up with this monstrosity. And I honestly don&#39;t know which is worse.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Beaubien&#39;s book, if I haven&#39;t explicitly mentioned it yet, is self-published. He actually has a video about choosing between traditional and self-publishing routes. Here&#39;s a screenshot from that video:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK7umXW0RtfMtmJMQjj3msW5zYGt_50Zu5rUKBAbwXa2usU3ttRdIILWJXVFk0UspzDXNGWbNNoxsVwIf5YkuW4b2LeVmvmzQ0oITxHC39n4r5GK1bXUTxCVRt0rpjs8JjQQ8lO8Iba68/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;467&quot; data-original-width=&quot;740&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK7umXW0RtfMtmJMQjj3msW5zYGt_50Zu5rUKBAbwXa2usU3ttRdIILWJXVFk0UspzDXNGWbNNoxsVwIf5YkuW4b2LeVmvmzQ0oITxHC39n4r5GK1bXUTxCVRt0rpjs8JjQQ8lO8Iba68/s16000/a+quick+honest+thoughts.png&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Note &quot;Have to find and pay editors, graphic designers, and other specialists&quot;.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Note &quot;Great fit for the multi-talented do it yourselfers&quot;.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Note &quot;No one to tell you &#39;no&#39;&quot;.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;I can&#39;t help but feel like his pros and cons list is heavily weighted towards self-publishing, and that he views traditional publishing as more of a manufacturing line rather than a place for visionary artists. His focus on the self-published route allowing for full creative control, and being a great fit for those skilled in multiple disciplines, suggests he considers himself someone with great vision that shan&#39;t be stymied by the interference of other voices. Therefore, even if he were to hire outside experts to assist with editing, art, etc., he would still want to be in the driver&#39;s seat creatively.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;However, it came to light during one of our book club meetings (thanks to someone&#39;s dive into Beaubien&#39;s personal website) that Beaubien chose &lt;i&gt;not&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;to hire an editor after all. Instead, he supposedly spent a couple years teaching himself how to be an editor, and then wore that hat himself. Because, as the label clearly states, he&#39;s a &quot;multi-talented do it yourselfer&quot;.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Go back up to the pros/cons list. Note &quot;A Quick Honest Thoughts&quot;.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Here&#39;s &lt;i&gt;my&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;quick, honest thought(s):&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;Aeon Legion: Labyrinth&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;is the single most poorly-edited document I have ever read. And I&#39;m including handwritten letters from kindergarteners.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Pick a number between 1 and 394, and on the corresponding page I will show you at least three missing commas, two missing hyphens--or, if you&#39;re lucky, one of these gems:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhU0HrkcPU-TeZYMSqrBRk1EIclleYLoe5xHGRCPXVazUoyBn3CK8ZWrHlEabfhmh0ewP1C3UD6mtgU8mMuQTJobbTzj2FalivY54_swl1dq3Mivlgpd7RhCIksMQ08DrXypvhN6KnpJk/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;167&quot; data-original-width=&quot;2593&quot; height=&quot;26&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhU0HrkcPU-TeZYMSqrBRk1EIclleYLoe5xHGRCPXVazUoyBn3CK8ZWrHlEabfhmh0ewP1C3UD6mtgU8mMuQTJobbTzj2FalivY54_swl1dq3Mivlgpd7RhCIksMQ08DrXypvhN6KnpJk/w400-h26/PXL_20210516_183718037.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;Being a time cop, Nikias is exempt from tenses (and, apparently, the distinction between nouns and verbs).&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsv_UT8LD-YqRMosJRv6WTMPmyEdfzRO9aeuiznvTsBuhxEUrYR0jzXgM9FM02Ki1_eQbYY3ixAC5ZQBKOwyRbIe_ObWIXE_4PiKz1pryrVBB5a_Mb__DCND_kKZhm10NfahArxvF7Oug/s3024/PXL_20210429_045144322.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;611&quot; data-original-width=&quot;3024&quot; height=&quot;81&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsv_UT8LD-YqRMosJRv6WTMPmyEdfzRO9aeuiznvTsBuhxEUrYR0jzXgM9FM02Ki1_eQbYY3ixAC5ZQBKOwyRbIe_ObWIXE_4PiKz1pryrVBB5a_Mb__DCND_kKZhm10NfahArxvF7Oug/w400-h81/PXL_20210429_045144322.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Fun fact: the only non-compound English words to contain the letter pairing &quot;lh&quot; are &quot;silhouette&quot; and &quot;separatelhy&quot;.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu9wsme5QAEnjvl_lfahfv65nFakwzzK6PALjVLN5hwhuFtwhIy0cAsIvswqQGpKLXX7mrbL_9TU9tXtWbn8jR_qha9Fx6qfHXNODiqZ8HZqzNV-YMRVrU2ylXHSL59EpQIv0FrFyVqbw/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;592&quot; data-original-width=&quot;2760&quot; height=&quot;69&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu9wsme5QAEnjvl_lfahfv65nFakwzzK6PALjVLN5hwhuFtwhIy0cAsIvswqQGpKLXX7mrbL_9TU9tXtWbn8jR_qha9Fx6qfHXNODiqZ8HZqzNV-YMRVrU2ylXHSL59EpQIv0FrFyVqbw/&quot; width=&quot;320&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Why use a blade to &lt;i&gt;scratch&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;off your emblem when you can just stiffen it instead?&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL70k6DzFDAIfXAIxPtmOHyR98ejG53bGgfYbLRw5HT-6JJsoDaOIRHVYo678rH8SYRCzkiX9k_saCcYQJ8hT_VUlvHl3_b5nSmJQS3pff66adLN0cQC3872uMMp7xtbqORExMcO5xeVc/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;403&quot; data-original-width=&quot;3024&quot; height=&quot;86&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL70k6DzFDAIfXAIxPtmOHyR98ejG53bGgfYbLRw5HT-6JJsoDaOIRHVYo678rH8SYRCzkiX9k_saCcYQJ8hT_VUlvHl3_b5nSmJQS3pff66adLN0cQC3872uMMp7xtbqORExMcO5xeVc/w640-h86/PXL_20210516_080118195.jpg&quot; width=&quot;640&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;This sentence contains the rare silent &quot;and&quot;.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQgrMAIHSot_fZjOlwXry9reC2pjSisd1wYS_-oPoLsm_7e42bziypcTGkfRo63ogS_1r3yQlP3bIHIzqBfe0jAh7fNYEoHZPcfup4sNNnTZzqkMrDPdA_-HMtTMvuTzsNI4dPyVAmfu4/s3024/PXL_20210429_044951106.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;488&quot; data-original-width=&quot;3024&quot; height=&quot;65&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQgrMAIHSot_fZjOlwXry9reC2pjSisd1wYS_-oPoLsm_7e42bziypcTGkfRo63ogS_1r3yQlP3bIHIzqBfe0jAh7fNYEoHZPcfup4sNNnTZzqkMrDPdA_-HMtTMvuTzsNI4dPyVAmfu4/w400-h65/PXL_20210429_044951106.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;I&#39;m nowhere near qualified enough to comment on the sociological implications of this typo.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-blz14-MOnDhiTBy0ics6RHo1TpE3Cr0xYTK1RI1pi1nupfvF9ZEAPOcNwpSJZ6QpQ1NDquZQzIwU1sHTXhWntQGW0TsZkmw4W7k-sRQCW6RnbJum92hYJArILMf5mv59psIENRMOQko/s3024/PXL_20210425_072439668.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;841&quot; data-original-width=&quot;3024&quot; height=&quot;111&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-blz14-MOnDhiTBy0ics6RHo1TpE3Cr0xYTK1RI1pi1nupfvF9ZEAPOcNwpSJZ6QpQ1NDquZQzIwU1sHTXhWntQGW0TsZkmw4W7k-sRQCW6RnbJum92hYJArILMf5mv59psIENRMOQko/w400-h111/PXL_20210425_072439668.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Strike one!&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbEXm-C_6HEYm8c8GOMUZryP4IV-K8j67IUCtAZK3YRi_sPmuTLTf_tDsrbEFg1V-Tw4spjE9-1lw4gNo7WpM_EW7LwXEkSgrzjM2oGXoqLoR294q90A3JIimlFvAcZAKu395UNsfXcAM/s2645/PXL_20210429_045014251.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;765&quot; data-original-width=&quot;2645&quot; height=&quot;116&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbEXm-C_6HEYm8c8GOMUZryP4IV-K8j67IUCtAZK3YRi_sPmuTLTf_tDsrbEFg1V-Tw4spjE9-1lw4gNo7WpM_EW7LwXEkSgrzjM2oGXoqLoR294q90A3JIimlFvAcZAKu395UNsfXcAM/w400-h116/PXL_20210429_045014251.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Strike two!&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6JEfCjQn7JiLZ_bhxBVgrgu-Mr_33xtVIEHwKJAgba-I-VWSXpwvT_rDLQvKfbhoAX1SpuzGS11_pXzNmKSGUY5TodkPuIOv-vxjIS1a7rGfyvmCqpBS2kAdk5s2Lot4HhpWS7ZpA05A/s3024/PXL_20210429_045042513.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;897&quot; data-original-width=&quot;3024&quot; height=&quot;119&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6JEfCjQn7JiLZ_bhxBVgrgu-Mr_33xtVIEHwKJAgba-I-VWSXpwvT_rDLQvKfbhoAX1SpuzGS11_pXzNmKSGUY5TodkPuIOv-vxjIS1a7rGfyvmCqpBS2kAdk5s2Lot4HhpWS7ZpA05A/w400-h119/PXL_20210429_045042513.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Strike three, you&#39;re out! What a waist.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;There&#39;s also this baffling formatting mistake, where chapter 33 switches from the novel&#39;s consistent justified alignment to being align left, only to finally correct itself nine pages later:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8a8qATxyb6Mwhv6oHnwCAkBK_lHRnl_V9Ho7FsrjYzqWBVipj4e37_QQYFTlvBeCNkvb7-Wb3rGAbkFH-sabmK3E9tP3JTUSHRmreH1g_jXwrea4Vnsy6rlULZTXdcQcMA1W36u1tnPc/s2048/PXL_20210425_072110779.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;2048&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1410&quot; height=&quot;400&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8a8qATxyb6Mwhv6oHnwCAkBK_lHRnl_V9Ho7FsrjYzqWBVipj4e37_QQYFTlvBeCNkvb7-Wb3rGAbkFH-sabmK3E9tP3JTUSHRmreH1g_jXwrea4Vnsy6rlULZTXdcQcMA1W36u1tnPc/w275-h400/PXL_20210425_072110779.jpg&quot; width=&quot;275&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;(This would be easier to see if I were able to produce larger excerpts, but you&#39;ll just have to trust that the left side is page 367, and the right side is page 376.)&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;I could literally do this all day. There&#39;s dozens of problems like this, a handful of which have been fixed in the digital edition of the book (which, considering my physical copy was printed in March 2021, only serves to confound me more). Since this dissection is already exhaustingly long, I&#39;m going to end here, on what might be my favorite phrase in any written work:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIG-xIdJqbUMyDDnoCqjsD1rbvno1dfuKsy7IMFabLFqvLf3isoelq7zSbAymnA4ZrANj7grGFPnZ8A4p7OrePn0AHRiTXvXOYVN_D6nd5E0NJwctSMCeO2vuXkOdI5aQSDXhGkPf8TQw/s3024/PXL_20210422_014421933.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;848&quot; data-original-width=&quot;3024&quot; height=&quot;180&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIG-xIdJqbUMyDDnoCqjsD1rbvno1dfuKsy7IMFabLFqvLf3isoelq7zSbAymnA4ZrANj7grGFPnZ8A4p7OrePn0AHRiTXvXOYVN_D6nd5E0NJwctSMCeO2vuXkOdI5aQSDXhGkPf8TQw/w640-h180/PXL_20210422_014421933.jpg&quot; width=&quot;640&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div&gt;This is poetry.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I hope those excerpts illustrate how challenging it was to read this book, not just in terms of how bad the story and characters are, but strictly from a comprehension standpoint. (I mentioned during one of our book club meetings that I wanted to drive up to Beaubien&#39;s house and drop a bucket of commas on his front lawn, because my God does the man need them.)&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Now, at this point, you&#39;re probably wondering what left there is to cover. If you are, that&#39;s because you&#39;ve forgotten that &lt;i&gt;we aren&#39;t even halfway&amp;nbsp;through the novel&lt;/i&gt;. No, we abandoned Terra in the middle of her initiation for a very long tangent, and we should probably get back to her before she, I don&#39;t know, sits still or something.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;So, as I was saying, Terra continues to be dragged through ever more tests, the highlight of which is an automotive race that Hikari--you know, the girl&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;from feudal Japan&lt;/i&gt;--wins on&lt;i&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/i&gt;her first try (without hardly touching the &quot;break&quot; pedal). We get hints at the larger world Beaubien is trying to build through a handful of vague-yet-intrusive name drops--the Kalians (some other time-exempt faction), the Faceless (some &lt;i&gt;other &lt;/i&gt;other time-exempt faction), the Forgotten Guns (some &lt;i&gt;other&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;other other time-exempt faction)--and eventually move into a bout of survival in the Cretaceous Period. The tiros are dropped in with nothing but their shieldwatches and their wits, and have to find a way to survive in the era of dinosaurs.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Except, like, Beaubien hardly touches on the dinosaurs at all. They&#39;re not majestic wonders &lt;i&gt;a la &lt;/i&gt;the opening of the gate in &lt;i&gt;Jurassic Park&lt;/i&gt;, nor are they frightening monstrosities in the style of &lt;i&gt;kaiju&lt;/i&gt;. They&#39;re hardly anything at all, in fact, because the author instead sidelines them in order to set up a Kalian military base that captures Terra and several of the other tiros. Once restrained, Terra is subjected to intense interrogation techniques to gain information on Saturn City. But, being the dull grey boulder she is, Terra remains silent.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;At this point, the captain of the Kalian forces reveals himself to be Cerberus, because the whole survival trial was--&lt;i&gt;gasp&lt;/i&gt;--a trick! They never left the Academy at all. The &quot;Kalian forces&quot; were just Academy employees in disguise.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Effectively, this means Terra&#39;s principal just cosplayed as an enemy soldier and subjected his own students to military interrogation tactics and torture. Cool. Cool cool cool.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHnJ4dlnAef-0gNz_DvFqo9oNFQ9tM_A14OeAFtXrRF4e89FvURxmRvZX2XXyR_16hgdYEvR1DYydY7bGbbRaSCb_o59rlKoEg9IdeDeKXLSZ6Rc9COCp2c38MwRDdXxWPxyPH7ccM-nM/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;590&quot; data-original-width=&quot;695&quot; height=&quot;240&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHnJ4dlnAef-0gNz_DvFqo9oNFQ9tM_A14OeAFtXrRF4e89FvURxmRvZX2XXyR_16hgdYEvR1DYydY7bGbbRaSCb_o59rlKoEg9IdeDeKXLSZ6Rc9COCp2c38MwRDdXxWPxyPH7ccM-nM/&quot; width=&quot;283&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Once the tiros have gone through several months of training and been narrowed down to the best of the best (read: the only named recruits in the book), it&#39;s time for their final test: the titular Labyrinth.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;The Labyrinth is broken into twelve trials for the same reason there are twelve Legendary Blades, twelve sectors in Saturn City, twelve towers around the Labyrinth, twelve pillars in the Academy&#39;s archive room, twelve soldier ranks in the Aeon Legion, and twelve cohorts of Legion soldiers: Beaubien can only hold a single descriptive trait in his head at one time. A clock has twelve hours on its face, so everything in this magical land of time &lt;i&gt;must&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;be subdivided by twelve. There is no other option because I suspect he literally cannot comprehend the idea of using multiple simultaneous motifs for the same broad topic. My other friends groaned at the recurring elemental traits exhibited by the main characters, but I was positively&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;livid&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;about the overuse of the number twelve.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Anyways, Terra and company dives headfirst into the Labyrinth, where she quickly finds herself face to face with Samael. You remember Samael--former leader of the Forgotten Guns, who&#39;s released from the Saturn City prison Tartarus once a year to play Joker and kill as many tiros as possible while uttering witticisms like &quot;I&#39;m Santa!&quot; and &quot;Don&#39;t make me sing!&quot; just to prove how&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;crazy&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;he is? Yeah, me either. Terra is able to escape while Samael is villain monologuing, and we never hear about him or the Forgotten Guns again.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;So, before we go any further into the Labyrinth, it&#39;s important to note one thing: Beaubien didn&#39;t have twelve good ideas for trials, but was insistent on using his holy number as much as possible. In fact, one of the &quot;trials&quot; is just the fact that there&#39;s a time limit--144 hours, or twelve squared, kill me please. That&#39;s not a trial, that&#39;s a parameter. That&#39;s like saying the SAT consists of two halves: finishing the SAT and finishing the SAT in three hours. One of those is just a clarified version of the other. So what Beaubien actually has are eleven trials and a rule he renamed to fit his compulsion for round dozens, seemingly at my expense.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;There&#39;s also the Trial of Storms, which from what I can tell is walking through rain without an umbrella; the Trial of Blades, which is identical to the earlier Trial of Blades duels found all throughout the earlier sections; and the Trials of Truth and Fear (touted as &quot;the only trial Kairos failed&quot;), which are sandwiched together into a single dream-like montage prefaced by a note from Cerberus saying it will be no problem for Terra. And, sure enough, she is completely unaffected by the visions of dead friends and dark memories because she&#39;s a rock, and rocks can&#39;t feel. So, by extension, the reader doesn&#39;t feel anything during this sequence either, meaning the two trials are an utter waste of time for both Terra and the audience.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;So, if you take out the two trials that Terra is entirely immune to, the trial that has existed for half the book, the trial that&#39;s actually a rule, and the trial that is weather, there are only seven real, unique trials within the Labyrinth. Of the remaining seven, one of them is just Terra proclaiming why she wants to be part of the Aeon Legion to Cerberus, and another is cut short by the plot, which we&#39;ll get to soon. That leaves five full trials that will actually test Terra&#39;s abilities. We&#39;ve already touched on the Trial of Survival with Samael, and the Trial of Keys is a test of intelligence wherein Terra has to solve a code keeping the gate to the next trial locked. The Trial of War is an assault mission, where several of the tiros team up to get through an enemy base, sort of mirroring the woefully dinosaur-free mission from earlier. This is the only other time in the book where Terra&#39;s climbing ability matters, because she scales a wall during this trial and I guess that&#39;s useful.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Two trials left to discuss. Let&#39;s move on to the Trial of the Beast.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;If you&#39;re familiar with the &lt;i&gt;Halo&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;franchise, you&#39;ll know what one of my book club members meant when he said this section felt like the Gravemind.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;The Beast in question is a Manticore--though somehow it&#39;s also been called Dragon, Hydra, and Quetzalcoatl by other cultures, despite having the approximate shape of a giant talking centipede, which &lt;i&gt;none&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;of those four creatures traditionally appear as.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgImQMfbsIQOTSaU6Oy1IOCXypfzX8s3ssULwgn1n_mcXcC03D85HLgGADYjfMm5YRb_JdX7hi222zoiinf2PmKtNsjSJPpWOUoPV0RNPN13xG-Yhrn0suLIbzOp7wdnieSweQnQEw-fN4/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;600&quot; data-original-width=&quot;776&quot; height=&quot;309&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgImQMfbsIQOTSaU6Oy1IOCXypfzX8s3ssULwgn1n_mcXcC03D85HLgGADYjfMm5YRb_JdX7hi222zoiinf2PmKtNsjSJPpWOUoPV0RNPN13xG-Yhrn0suLIbzOp7wdnieSweQnQEw-fN4/w400-h309/image.png&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The tiros fight the Manticore haphazardly, and Terra shows a level of control over her shieldwatch abilities that is unbelievable. Like, literally, I don&#39;t believe that she is as capable as she appears in this chapter. She manipulates the speed of time not just around herself to make her move faster than the Manticore, she releases kinetic energy in bursts in order to safely absorb the monster&#39;s attacks, all while dodging a hundred-foot insect that won&#39;t shut up about being the next step in life&#39;s evolutionary track. Zaid is mortally wounded, but because Beaubien has no control over tone I straight-up didn&#39;t notice for several pages. The group eventually escapes, and with Zaid&#39;s death the book is at 50% mortality rate for people of color.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;I&#39;ve been discussing the trials of the Labyrinth a bit out of order, because Zaid&#39;s death in the Trial of the Beast is supposed to be the emotional centerpiece of the whole operation. Unfortunately, Terra&#39;s bond with Zaid never came across as much more than a working relationship that--when coupled with Beaubien&#39;s unfortunate monotony--means we felt nothing at all when Zaid died. He shows up in the Trial of Fear, yes--but only as part of the montage, of equal weight as Cerberus&#39;s mere existence. It&#39;s a throwaway death meant to service a throwaway trial in a throwaway book.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;And with that, we come to the only trial I haven&#39;t mentioned: the Trial of...&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;...uh...&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Okay, I&#39;ve been flipping through the six Labyrinth chapters of the novel for the last two hours, and I cannot for the life of me find twelve trials. I&#39;ve counted, recounted, written them out... there are only eleven. But that can&#39;t be right...&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;...can it?&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJhWfYcBn65wrQrVRKw5nvmFO4Lhw26VvTIjppDzf_yN0OCGOVGRoSIMWVmp0g91A9dpTq6erUqLV6kP0w1h4oLt4rUTyB9E1NMZ9V1SICrFfWxdK_Huc4aiKx6esH3gSO9efpzja7HLY/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;274&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1072&quot; height=&quot;164&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJhWfYcBn65wrQrVRKw5nvmFO4Lhw26VvTIjppDzf_yN0OCGOVGRoSIMWVmp0g91A9dpTq6erUqLV6kP0w1h4oLt4rUTyB9E1NMZ9V1SICrFfWxdK_Huc4aiKx6esH3gSO9efpzja7HLY/w640-h164/case+of+the+missing+tiral.png&quot; width=&quot;640&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;(You weren&#39;t expecting a courtroom drama when you started reading this, were you?)&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;After taking two days to study the text and confer with the rest of my book club, I am ready to present my findings to the jury.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Exhibit A: Terra enters the Labyrinth on page 288, at the very end of Chapter XXIV. Chapter XXV, called &quot;Labyrinth&quot;, begins immediately after.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Exhibit B: On page 290, Terra is notified of the Trial of Keys, immediately followed by the introduction of the timer, AKA the Trial of Time.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Exhibit C: Page 293 contains the statement &quot;Trial of Keys complete&quot;, as well as &quot;Trial of Survival beginning.&quot; However, one other message is also presented to Terra: &quot;Two of twelve Trials completed.&quot; Because the Trial of Time countdown is still counting down, it remains incomplete. Therefore, the completed trial that &lt;i&gt;isn&#39;t&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;Trial of Keys must have already occurred. We need to go backwards.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Exhibit D: Prior to entering the Labyrinth in Chapter XXIV, Terra observes the Labyrinth from above. The Labyrinth is actually twelve(!) round salients (constructed space used for Academy training) that form a ring and are connected by ever-changing spokes as they rotate clockwise(!!) around a center point. The salients are not explicitly stated to each correspond to a single trial, but during the succeeding chapters Terra only moves between salients upon completing a trial.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Now, at this point, I was thoroughly confused. We have twelve areas that are, through textual evidence, designed to each contain a single trial.&amp;nbsp;And yet we also have the Trial of Time, which exists outside of any physical realm and therefore cannot be given its own salient in the Labyrinth. This is strange, but not what we&#39;re gathered here for.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Exhibit E: On page 278, Cerberus speaks to the tiros and tells them &quot;You will face twelve trials within [the Labyrinth].&quot; He&amp;nbsp; also says &quot;The Labyrinth must be completed within one hundred forty four hours&quot;, which seems to suggest that the timer is &lt;i&gt;not&amp;nbsp;&lt;/i&gt;one of the twelve trials. Again, confusing, but we still haven&#39;t found the Missing Trial.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Because, it turns out, it is on page 277, prior to Terra entering the Labyrinth, prior to seeing the twelve salients, prior to Cerberus stating there are twelve trials within the Labyrinth. It comes when Cerberus tells Terra that her score sucks, and she&#39;s not qualified for the Labyrinth. To this, Terra of course says &quot;I wanna do it anyways,&quot; and Cerberus goes &quot;You&#39;ve passed the first trial, everything&#39;s made up and the points don&#39;t matter!&quot; This conversation is so incredibly similar to the Trial of Worth, where Cerberus asks Terra why she wants to join the Aeon Legion, that I had completely forgotten about it being a separate scene.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;...so, that&#39;s it. Mystery solved, I guess.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Or is it?&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;If Terra demanding to still enter the Labyrinth counts as a trial, that means Cerberus was lying, and there are only eleven trials &lt;i&gt;within &lt;/i&gt;the Labyrinth, with the twelfth taking place prior to even being briefed on the Labyrinth. But if that was in fact the first trial, then every student, regardless of their points standing, would have had a similar conversation prior to being prepped for the Labyrinth, meaning &lt;i&gt;everyone would know there are only eleven trials left&lt;/i&gt;. In that case, Cerberus was lying for absolutely nobody&#39;s benefit.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Unless, of course, only Terra was given the pre-Labyrinth trial. Perhaps there &lt;i&gt;were&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;twelve Trials for everyone else, but she got a free pass and only had to participate in eleven. That would mean there is only one unused salient (the one corresponding to the Trial of Time, which has no location), instead of two (the second belonging to the missing trial). If &lt;i&gt;that&lt;/i&gt; were the case, however, surely it would have come up when Terra was teaming up with Roland, or Zaid, or Hikari, who would have been so secure in their pre-Labyrinth standings that they would surely have had to go through whatever this mysterious twelfth trial was.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;On the one hand, Cerberus is a known liar, as evidenced by the numerous tests-within-tests I&#39;ve already touched on. On the other hand, the Academy is practically tailor-made for Terra to succeed, and giving her a free pass would be entirely within the realm of possibility for this impossible school. On the third hand (which I wish I could refer to as the &quot;second&quot; hand for a bad clock joke), Beaubien has demonstrated himself to be a terrible writer with little structure, continuity, or logic, and I think he just confused himself and gave up.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;So, with all that being said, here is the official, ordered list of the twelve Trials of the Labyrinth:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiRAb8n_GeiR40eNT23fswKMaYDqupMoDoTcEAMUk9my99wTj7gFS8to56MRZRImXad2yHPRmAgNoxznZOpUS-QpEbE6fXYPQ6uWBNlOxn1WFNN6JDFB-0M1jaXSgyolyaxPp6BEYwums/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;532&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1015&quot; height=&quot;336&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiRAb8n_GeiR40eNT23fswKMaYDqupMoDoTcEAMUk9my99wTj7gFS8to56MRZRImXad2yHPRmAgNoxznZOpUS-QpEbE6fXYPQ6uWBNlOxn1WFNN6JDFB-0M1jaXSgyolyaxPp6BEYwums/w640-h336/12+trials.png&quot; width=&quot;640&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Glad we got that sorted out so cleanly.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;So anyway, the twelfth trial is about to begin when the Nazis attack. Hanns, who for the last while has been imprisoned in Tartarus along with the other time criminals, has helped stage a break-out, and things are popping off in Saturn City. Terra confronts Hanns, who sees how much she&#39;s grown (even if the readers hardly get any sense of her development over the course of the book). They fight, and Terra eventually has him dead to rights, pointing Zaid&#39;s aeon edge at his throat.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Now, being a young adult novel (which, again, this book &lt;i&gt;totally&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;is), you know Terra isn&#39;t going to kill Hanns, even though he&#39;s a Nazi which literally should only exist in stories to be destroyed. I mean, look at this Terra quote from earlier in the book:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHSvlvOnT4CjIGpyVMRrqIcAgm08W-5rZNrK1mKD7nRvRMoxpY1uDhQzBjWC97QzTrV2W1IVh78fdyKf0WECx2dLNL5YLQuUQx-8FzpgRvHFksB462PXKqPu8tT75ng5GS15qltcJggyE/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;378&quot; data-original-width=&quot;3024&quot; height=&quot;50&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHSvlvOnT4CjIGpyVMRrqIcAgm08W-5rZNrK1mKD7nRvRMoxpY1uDhQzBjWC97QzTrV2W1IVh78fdyKf0WECx2dLNL5YLQuUQx-8FzpgRvHFksB462PXKqPu8tT75ng5GS15qltcJggyE/w400-h50/PXL_20210517_052156225.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;This is your Get Out of Jail Free card, girl! This is literally the one sort of person you&#39;re &lt;i&gt;supposed&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;to kill.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;But &lt;i&gt;nooo&lt;/i&gt;. Instead, she does the &quot;heroic&quot; thing of letting him go, and tells him that if she ever encounters him again, she&#39;ll drag him to Tartarus herself.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;You know, Tartarus. The prison he literally just escaped from. Her big threat is to put him in the prison he&#39;s already figured out how to beat.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Whatever. It&#39;s been like five pages since the last plot twist, so we need to add in another. A figure wearing a Kalian mask (though how the reader would have recognized that without being told at this very moment what a Kalian mask looks like, I have no idea) approaches, and is soon dueling Cerberus. The masked figure calls themself Exile, but eventually is revealed to be--collective gasp--Kairos, Silverwind&#39;s beloved lost squire who became a Legendary Blade but was presumed dead! Who would have predicted that?&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;More importantly, who would have cared? Kairos&#39;s purpose in the story, ostensibly, is to draw a comparison between Terra--the completely ordinary girl with nothing but a dream of greatness--and the star pupil who became everything Terra wanted to be, but succumbed to evil or something. (Her goal is apparently to kill time travelers because they damage the spacetime continuum, and removing them will preserve time for everyone else, though whether that&#39;s a personal vendetta or one shared by all Kalians I don&#39;t know or care.) However, in practice, previous mentions of her serve as setup for a twist that doesn&#39;t actually bear any weight. Kairos disappeared long before Terra was even aware of the Aeon Legion. She has no connection to Kairos besides them both sharing a mentor, but even that connection is tenuous at best thanks to Silverwind&#39;s aloof nature resulting in her disappearing for dozens of pages at a time, and Terra spending a collective... maybe six hours with her across three or four scenes? Kairos is obviously Beaubien&#39;s reward to himself for developing such an extensive history for his world, rather than a payoff for the readers in any meaningful way.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Kairos eventually kills Cerberus and runs off shortly after Silverwind arrives on the scene, begging to see Kairos&#39;s face one last time. After Kairos is gone, Tartarus has been secured, and Saturn City cleaned up, our three remaining named tiros are inducted into the Aeon Legion. Hikari receives a blade forged in intense fire (of course), Roland&#39;s aeon edge is etched with wavelike grooves (&lt;i&gt;of course&lt;/i&gt;), and Terra is given Kairos&#39;s old blade, which had been literally stabbed into the ground as a memorial (OF COURSE). Terra thanks Silverwind for everything (or, in terms of what Alya actually did besides say &quot;be my squire cuzz I&#39;m bored&quot;, nothing at all), then goes home to visit her parents.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;You know, the ones who she had told at the start of all this that she was going to be a time cop.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;But they now think she is going to college or something? They ask her how classes are going, and she mentions meeting a German guy that she thought was nice... you know, until it turned out he was a Nazi. The whole scene is enormously confusing, and makes me wonder if the Legion has some sort of unmentioned &lt;i&gt;Men In Black&lt;/i&gt;-style memory device that they used on her parents, and Beaubien just neglected to mention it. Either that, or he realized how &lt;i&gt;insane&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;it was for Terra to casually tell her parents about the existence of time cops, and retconned it within the same book without bothering to just go back and fix the original scene.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;This is the end of the main story, and there are still a&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;lot&amp;nbsp;&lt;/i&gt;of things I didn&#39;t touch on.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Things like Cerberus apparently having multiple personalities.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Things like Alya Silverwind pulling Terra from her classes to go hunt more Nazis.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Things like a single flashback chapter over two hundred pages into the novel to cover Terra&#39;s past as a victim of bullying, the only scene in Terra&#39;s entire story that isn&#39;t in her present.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Things like Delphia, the girl who Terra stays with when she first arrives in Saturn City that isn&#39;t mentioned for the middle 250 pages of the book and only shows up after Terra graduates to remind us that she existed in the first place, but has no emotional or story connection to anything else in the book.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Things like a guard in Tartarus dismissing a Jewish prisoner&#39;s hatred for the Nazis by saying, and I quote, &quot;We can&#39;t possibly keep track of every group that hates each other!&quot;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Things like Hikari inexplicably deciding Terra is her worthy rival, despite Terra still being atrocious at just about everything the Academy throws at her.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Things like this passage that, if handled by a better writer, might come across as something other than the author elbowing us at how he progressive he is by bucking trends and writing characters that defy stereotypes, while simultaneously revealing his own biases by making them notable enough in his head to actively write against them:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWcYl8ZcslBY3o36dsOwWcynMBjAMEfeFTdDyPyIbr75sLHfSCOhDO-ZxIkcqYsUgFDWRs-f1fI6qxZ7hyh1QadRMYhyphenhyphen6673HmsQY1bYwlEztHCedqd1ozXFN_Kvi1Pqj6BeuPuzKxQYk/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;825&quot; data-original-width=&quot;3812&quot; height=&quot;138&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWcYl8ZcslBY3o36dsOwWcynMBjAMEfeFTdDyPyIbr75sLHfSCOhDO-ZxIkcqYsUgFDWRs-f1fI6qxZ7hyh1QadRMYhyphenhyphen6673HmsQY1bYwlEztHCedqd1ozXFN_Kvi1Pqj6BeuPuzKxQYk/w640-h138/PXL_20210516_075808248.jpg&quot; width=&quot;640&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And I didn&#39;t even talk about the book elements surrounding the story, like how lackluster the graphic design is, or how Beaubien pats himself on the back in his author bio for not including a love triangle:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVa8c876iy32PC0-xQylqQ3x_PYW9WgVlhDYNTGTeXvD4PvG_SQ_IwYyohhXnfrkecpqHEY6HR40r2dmADiQTQdhmySt2n9QViDM3C-Lb5gm0Yr9oaE0RJkrMrBgsW8bxenhFZjcVeKH0/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;423&quot; data-original-width=&quot;2620&quot; height=&quot;104&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVa8c876iy32PC0-xQylqQ3x_PYW9WgVlhDYNTGTeXvD4PvG_SQ_IwYyohhXnfrkecpqHEY6HR40r2dmADiQTQdhmySt2n9QViDM3C-Lb5gm0Yr9oaE0RJkrMrBgsW8bxenhFZjcVeKH0/w640-h104/PXL_20210516_073441233.jpg&quot; width=&quot;640&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Yes, it&#39;s sarcastic. But also, it isn&#39;t. It makes me wonder how much of this whole endeavor is genuinely misguided self-confidence, and how much is projecting that same confidence as a mask.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;The book ends with an epilogue where the Singularity Thief, who had no bearing on the main plot, reports to the Time King, who had no bearing on the main plot, about Terra being the key to the Legacy Library, which had no bearing on the main plot. I don&#39;t know what to make of this section, and since it&#39;s been five years since the publication of this book with no word on the sequel, I don&#39;t think Beaubien does, either.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Beaubien&#39;s own website contains a place for him to update his fans on the progress of various projects. This is its current state as of May 2021:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBrC_QdPeLborfDu2zl23V11b8Y3gcvVkAUluBtHOP_mPyQl4UitkbaR23YdcHR5yUEnxtlu0gSD1sQHMeHQx2LcfeAnPRz2flyt_18KMcGku-S7UHwl-x21zJfvCqplz1kAcU57tSlK4/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;391&quot; data-original-width=&quot;378&quot; height=&quot;240&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBrC_QdPeLborfDu2zl23V11b8Y3gcvVkAUluBtHOP_mPyQl4UitkbaR23YdcHR5yUEnxtlu0gSD1sQHMeHQx2LcfeAnPRz2flyt_18KMcGku-S7UHwl-x21zJfvCqplz1kAcU57tSlK4/&quot; width=&quot;232&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;(Edit: it is currently December 2023 and this progress chart has not been updated.)&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;It appears at first glance that he&#39;s fairly far along with the second volume in this series. However, this doesn&#39;t tell the whole story. While I don&#39;t know what &quot;honest thoughts video&quot; he&#39;s referring to, I did find the &quot;Terrible Writing Advice on Comic Relief Characters&quot; project that he had most recently finished. It was published over two years ago.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOA5A1q86foOXIHqtZqFaiGbZT01fYlONAQ6pojyJQjSMtggCXMtNUSWvJ0ft_1YPJ7psW71b4X0U1mH33ZFbMI5OsF5zhKyNB9hq6S_l47ZANb5Hl20ZiebwzzU4nr0ibRf8x9IcM_BQ/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;186&quot; data-original-width=&quot;640&quot; height=&quot;116&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOA5A1q86foOXIHqtZqFaiGbZT01fYlONAQ6pojyJQjSMtggCXMtNUSWvJ0ft_1YPJ7psW71b4X0U1mH33ZFbMI5OsF5zhKyNB9hq6S_l47ZANb5Hl20ZiebwzzU4nr0ibRf8x9IcM_BQ/w400-h116/Screenshot+%252897%2529.png&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This means we have no way of knowing just how much progress Beaubien has made since mid-2019, when he was presumably 40% through the sequel&#39;s second draft. My suspicion is the book is still languishing in this unfinished state. The size of his YouTube fanbase indicates to me that he makes a lot more money posting videos than he did self-publishing &lt;i&gt;Aeon Legion: Labyrinth&lt;/i&gt;, so it would make sense that he puts the sequel on the backburner.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;As someone who has put sequels on the backburner, however, I do have a further suspicion that the sequel will never see the light of day. Unlike Terra and co., Beaubien must adhere to the laws of time, and the further away you get from a project the less you tend to feel towards it and the more unlikely it becomes that you ever return to it.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;I can say for certain, however, that even if &lt;i&gt;Aeon Legion: Legacy Library&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;eventually &lt;i&gt;does&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;surface, you could not pay me to read it.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;Well, I guess my friend was right about one thing. There was quite a bit to talk about.&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://nothingsuitsme.blogspot.com/feeds/7958070206889254719/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://nothingsuitsme.blogspot.com/2021/05/how-i-read-worst-book-of-my-life-review.html#comment-form' title='1 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/2748984712934822405/posts/default/7958070206889254719'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/2748984712934822405/posts/default/7958070206889254719'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://nothingsuitsme.blogspot.com/2021/05/how-i-read-worst-book-of-my-life-review.html' title='How I Read the Worst Book of My Life: A Review'/><author><name>Haunshaul</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/14345594236643362563</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV6JZgps5aZQke7VTpnG6Y__B5P905r0B4QMWCaYG-SbarSjh9qWgs0JTinRUyglz6bdWLminTPhOGzytb95akWXrplHvr4RjBXT3g08IcDYce5fryBpsYkE8tkoWIJfMCA3LxaiWEDb8/s72-w300-h400-c/PXL_20210422_014039308.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>1</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2748984712934822405.post-4332532204756015584</id><published>2021-01-22T11:09:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2022-01-23T00:57:27.975-08:00</updated><title type='text'>How I Became a Webcomic Artist</title><content type='html'>&lt;div&gt;I don&#39;t know if I&#39;ve gone more than a day or two without reading comics since the turn of the millennium.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Best I can recall, I was first introduced to comics by my cousin when he brought a couple &lt;i&gt;Garfield&amp;nbsp;&lt;/i&gt;books on one of our annual camping trips. It was either that or Dav Pilkey&#39;s &lt;i&gt;Captain Underpants&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;novels, which feature hand-drawn comics by the main characters, George and Harold. Either way, I was indoctrinated at a young age, and it has proved to be a real problem for my wallet ever since.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUw1I_IU1qvgDjCumsq2vTHsxwS-izcfDPJoT01U3B6Zm5V7iBzz9vR-UBDxoPVTuSiqPtwNXUtfDhG5YtvkZuwc7JeXKOW4k1vSAc6acpbjT9eEPBuqCpoX_mq1xOvDUWnEEzW6sjbeg/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;1238&quot; data-original-width=&quot;2048&quot; height=&quot;386&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUw1I_IU1qvgDjCumsq2vTHsxwS-izcfDPJoT01U3B6Zm5V7iBzz9vR-UBDxoPVTuSiqPtwNXUtfDhG5YtvkZuwc7JeXKOW4k1vSAc6acpbjT9eEPBuqCpoX_mq1xOvDUWnEEzW6sjbeg/w640-h386/PXL_20210121_081059801.jpg&quot; width=&quot;640&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;(Not pictured: the other eighty percent.)&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Now, we could spend all day talking about my relationship with comics. There are some interesting stories to tell on that front, actually. I could go on about the Great Manga Dive of 2007, The Walking Dead Binge of 2010, and the Emerald City Comic Con Questionable Decisions of every year from 2012 to 2019 (and hopefully 2021, COVID vaccinations permitting). But today we&#39;re going to stick with a particular subset of comics that cost me very little money--but far more time--than those other stories.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;During high school, I discovered webcomics.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Actually, that&#39;s not entirely true. Technically, my first foray into webcomics was in middle school via Funbrain, a family-friendly website that students were allowed to browse when we finished our&amp;nbsp; computer lab projects. Back then, the site hosted &lt;i&gt;Wally and Osborne&lt;/i&gt;, a gag strip about a polar bear and a penguin.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIo8VZP1glV5dryHDhFjdaMjt3JpS4HKynfYYDiXyoM95apaQ5x8502cAEXo4ojCpaATiJyScUSZlQbdt4BZ9CAodjMRuGkmW6eVlX2akZ5GEtkp6Hdq6oEdmWqqjK30D0v1q01EpRaTo/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;492&quot; data-original-width=&quot;940&quot; height=&quot;209&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIo8VZP1glV5dryHDhFjdaMjt3JpS4HKynfYYDiXyoM95apaQ5x8502cAEXo4ojCpaATiJyScUSZlQbdt4BZ9CAodjMRuGkmW6eVlX2akZ5GEtkp6Hdq6oEdmWqqjK30D0v1q01EpRaTo/w400-h209/image.png&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The artist, Tyler Martin, is still making new strips, albeit at a much slower pace.&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.wallyandosborne.com/&quot;&gt;Check him out!&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Fun fact: this site also hosted a couple other stories I read, including the first &lt;i&gt;Camp Confidential&amp;nbsp;&lt;/i&gt;chapter book by Melisa J. Morgan and an illustrated journal called &lt;i&gt;Diary of a Wimpy Kid &lt;/i&gt;by Jeff Kinney, which was eventually printed in 2007. Maybe you&#39;ve heard of it.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNA1-n-4OxVBTGw3Me_XxfmN27h5LqLqZVPlYrzNVcuELdKhRD03zWsa-GA-_y4zGv_z1O8coplAivTgq4wELlIQoU5MFgz0lRC_Fdlx26KTrobCrWXNUyJAEih5yKQYemAqNv2L97l7M/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;500&quot; data-original-width=&quot;335&quot; height=&quot;320&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNA1-n-4OxVBTGw3Me_XxfmN27h5LqLqZVPlYrzNVcuELdKhRD03zWsa-GA-_y4zGv_z1O8coplAivTgq4wELlIQoU5MFgz0lRC_Fdlx26KTrobCrWXNUyJAEih5yKQYemAqNv2L97l7M/w214-h320/image.png&quot; width=&quot;214&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;i&gt;Diary of a Wimpy Kid &lt;/i&gt;actually inspired me to take my first stab at autobiographical writing thanks to its illustrated nature. I filled three faux-Moleskine journals with my daily musings, which got progressively sloppier as I tried to fill space quicker to seem more productive to myself. Eventually, I fell out of the habit and hid the journals under my bunk bed. Then they disappeared, and I really hope they just got recycled and weren&#39;t rescued by my mom to whip out at my wedding or something.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Anyways.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;In high school, I discovered Recon Dye&#39;s&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;Pokemon-X&lt;/i&gt;, which is credited as the first Pokemon sprite webcomic and came out almost a decade before &lt;i&gt;Pokemon X&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;was also the name of a real game.&amp;nbsp;It&#39;s currently sitting at over 1,100 pages, though it hasn&#39;t posted a new one since June 2020.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWMqwHDgqen2Tk9QJ_clBRDaEwhkO3qZesoV9aB_j97vks-uP9dzHI6wVJgcQNzzU0LIhyphenhyphenAv2Oktba4lVN5RVWABP2pSuqKDNgr0VNrcQDaM-uc3nfLeo1P3e3FTnn5tGnKybqUH_UGn4/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;256&quot; data-original-width=&quot;575&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWMqwHDgqen2Tk9QJ_clBRDaEwhkO3qZesoV9aB_j97vks-uP9dzHI6wVJgcQNzzU0LIhyphenhyphenAv2Oktba4lVN5RVWABP2pSuqKDNgr0VNrcQDaM-uc3nfLeo1P3e3FTnn5tGnKybqUH_UGn4/s16000/Screenshot+%252892%2529.png&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pokemonx.comicgenesis.com/&quot;&gt;Obligatory link to this piece of history.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Thanks to an ad on the&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;Pokemon-X&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;site, I discovered a webcomic ranking page that opened me up to the world of webcomics. Like many people first discovering a new hobby, I went a bit overboard. I ended up subscribing to dozens of comics that I couldn&#39;t reasonably stay caught up on. My favorites included Travis Hanson&#39;s&lt;i&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.beanleafpress.com/?comic=the-bean-1&quot;&gt;The Bean&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/i&gt;, Sarah Schanze&#39;s &lt;i&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tmkcomic.com/&quot;&gt;Thistl Mistl Kistl&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/i&gt;, Ursula Vernon&#39;s&lt;i&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;https://diggercomic.com/&quot;&gt;Digger&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;/i&gt;and Tom Fischbach&#39;s&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://twokinds.keenspot.com/&quot;&gt;Twokinds&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/i&gt;, which confused me stylistically for years until I learned about Furries.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;(The answer is &quot;no&quot;, by the way.)&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;But of all the myriad comics available to me in the vastness of the internet, my favorite subgenre was the burgeoning Nuzlocke challenge community. The Nuzlocke challenge, if you&#39;re unfamiliar, is when you play a Pokemon game using two self-imposed rules to increase the difficulty:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;ol style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;li&gt;You may only catch one Pokemon in each area of the game, and it must be the first one you encounter.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;If a Pokemon faints in battle, it is considered dead and must never be used again.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;div&gt;There are plenty of optional rules as well (no items in battle, required nicknames for all Pokemon, etc.), but those are implemented at the discretion of the individual player.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Many people who play Nuzlockes chronicle their games via prose, gameplay videos, or webcomics, which is how I first got involved. My favorite runs were hosted on SmackJeeves, a free webcomic site that suffered a cruel and heartless death at the end of 2020--you know, that year that almost destroyed everything?&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;The queen of Nuzlocke comics, in my opinion, was a woman by the name of PettyArtist:&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBdDMUoQoxVh9fFTP1D00PUARdCCENga021UNglvEBi6rtjqySg-P3AexYv9ZTRqZtGy2LyBHmIk_K404qWEjISEWSRW-oXTlayo9pkp_89GzNjWKMtxTeZJxhQEKgEFvC5dLZlGrrxIU/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;900&quot; data-original-width=&quot;700&quot; height=&quot;640&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBdDMUoQoxVh9fFTP1D00PUARdCCENga021UNglvEBi6rtjqySg-P3AexYv9ZTRqZtGy2LyBHmIk_K404qWEjISEWSRW-oXTlayo9pkp_89GzNjWKMtxTeZJxhQEKgEFvC5dLZlGrrxIU/w498-h640/image.png&quot; width=&quot;498&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.deviantart.com/pettyartist&quot;&gt;Click here to show her some love on DeviantArt!&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Her run is arguably the most popular Nuzlocke comic outside the original run by Nick Franco. It not only sparked my interest in the Nuzlocke challenge itself, but provided me new artistic inspiration.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;It&#39;s worth noting at this point that for almost as long as I&#39;ve been reading comics, I&#39;ve been drawing them as well. Because most of the originals are at my parents&#39; house, I have hastily recreated a few of my most prolific characters from memory:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_Mb9NUbRAE0UE_ytRO10cank4V-9SwogzzTCtz55fRu_BNlWDKpqWnfX6hEAI-X2FVcx_bdWjMWO6i9WHtIgxPOy1wsh1-Y6uXfD6cepdoc8H_fN_RynkLc5EXdvZYTCAz1YLgx3Ol5I/s2048/PXL_20210121_093310961.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;2048&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1738&quot; height=&quot;640&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_Mb9NUbRAE0UE_ytRO10cank4V-9SwogzzTCtz55fRu_BNlWDKpqWnfX6hEAI-X2FVcx_bdWjMWO6i9WHtIgxPOy1wsh1-Y6uXfD6cepdoc8H_fN_RynkLc5EXdvZYTCAz1YLgx3Ol5I/w544-h640/PXL_20210121_093310961.jpg&quot; width=&quot;544&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div&gt;From left to right, top to bottom:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;ul style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;li&gt;Monty Dawg, from a gag-a-day strip about neighborhood animals that eventually got sidelined when I decided they should all be part of a nu metal band. From that point on, I just developed fake album covers, titles, and song names/lengths for their band, the Animontys. The only album name I recall is &lt;i&gt;Hold It &#39;Cause It&#39;s Cold&lt;/i&gt;, and I actively hate myself a little more each time I remember that.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Microboy, Defender of the Inchians. He is three-and-a-half inches tall and mostly fights his arch nemesis, the Gruesome Grapevine, which started as an angry fruit lizard and eventually became a shapeshifter that could transform into a dragon and also a Roswellian alien? Microboy used toothpicks for swords.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Keddi, a young Ticoblin warrior. The Ticoblins (named after the forehead tic each one sports for no discernable reason) were more civilized descendants of traditional goblins, which developed numerous cultures not unlike the four nations of &lt;i&gt;Avatar: The Last Airbender&lt;/i&gt;. This series also got some serious out-of-comic development in the form of copious cultural notes in my eighth-grade school agenda.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;The logo for Laffing Pensil Comix, Inc., my childhood comic imprint. I still don&#39;t really know what being incorporated means, but it sounded good. This logo predates all the other drawings, being originally featured on the back cover of my first comic, &lt;i&gt;The Bathroom Boys&lt;/i&gt; (a blatant &lt;i&gt;Captain Underpants&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;rip-off from my earliest days of cartooning). In elementary school, I even signed a couple classmates to the imprint, but nothing materialized and their contracts are likely void (and were almost certainly printed in Comic Sans).&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I worked on numerous other comic ideas over the years, many of which never made it past the first round of character designs. As I kept trying new things, my style naturally evolved. The jump from first-go line art to sketching revolutionized my work, and my introduction to manga in middle school significantly altered the facial features of many of my characters. Eventually, I started comicking less and doodling more, resulting in less need for a unified style. For years now, my default doodle style has fallen somewhere between Jhonen Vasquez (&lt;i&gt;Invader Zim&lt;/i&gt;) and Mike Shinoda, better known for his music with Linkin Park than his graphic art. However, depending on what I need to convey, I will pull generously from the toolkits of some of my other favorite artists, including Jeff Lemire, David Willis, and Kazu Kibuishi.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;But Petty&#39;s art did something different for me. Her rounded lines and simple digital shading (her comic was black and white in its early days) weren&#39;t just visually pleasing. They were artistically accessible. And accessibility was very important for the quest I was about to embark on.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div&gt;In the latter half of 2011, I went on vacation with my family in California. We&#39;ve been down there numerous times, sometimes staying with my aunts and uncles and sometimes renting a place for the whole clan to gather. I don&#39;t remember which trip this was exactly--though, now that I think about it, it may be the same trip I went on during &quot;Bent Syringes and Mustard Water&quot;, a blog post from a bygone era that, if you didn&#39;t read while it was public, you will&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;never&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;get to read.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Here&#39;s an image from that lost post, with no additional context:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3IkE7vl4IzEtoolnA8RiHtkQWKGCqz3YuZaa-Z4YsQpQiTuevuDb8vJ2tdWm17F8BdlwLKCk9Rh4zKbWI-N5W84CAloJyxyWHSdWuPijd1FDvDDDqp59Uf4YKFhigCV9tCdfP2vhqAVs/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;640&quot; data-original-width=&quot;381&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3IkE7vl4IzEtoolnA8RiHtkQWKGCqz3YuZaa-Z4YsQpQiTuevuDb8vJ2tdWm17F8BdlwLKCk9Rh4zKbWI-N5W84CAloJyxyWHSdWuPijd1FDvDDDqp59Uf4YKFhigCV9tCdfP2vhqAVs/s16000/image.png&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;You&#39;re welcome.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;When I went on Whichever Trip This Was, I brought with me a copy of Pokemon Emerald and a Game Boy Micro. For anyone who isn&#39;t aware, the Game Boy Micro looks like this:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU3Gq16_6ZhPt9WVoS0A-NW3vSEb6y5WWvSK2gBgFJPTZhzRoqJJEeUpl8hNzvnf-eOIvseTN4-0adcxBqf4fqqfetSVnwUnW1ebor-3F8IzEpklzgZzBCd5_26R8euiY-TdiMgE9Kkm4/s2048/Game-Boy-Micro.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;1121&quot; data-original-width=&quot;2048&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU3Gq16_6ZhPt9WVoS0A-NW3vSEb6y5WWvSK2gBgFJPTZhzRoqJJEeUpl8hNzvnf-eOIvseTN4-0adcxBqf4fqqfetSVnwUnW1ebor-3F8IzEpklzgZzBCd5_26R8euiY-TdiMgE9Kkm4/s320/Game-Boy-Micro.jpg&quot; width=&quot;320&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div&gt;Sometimes.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;The faceplate is actually removeable, and a number of other designs were released. My preferred cover is a radical orange design that looks like someone dipped it in a Windows music visualizer:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrFp9O7GhsMPsVbkjlxG2bE8bsI3F_SP1RxX1b6flRULFw64_iwn90jr8Z_Eb906UsyHukPcWJKxqbu7dCHNkf7DxIDuiGcJi6SYAcPSt7sLKWvsRvOf1CcEht_Ej69p6GizMAJOtKgSs/s806/f4xFLsnM0PQIgtBGtQgd31aTcY5M36P8DU4fE8JOYV8.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;450&quot; data-original-width=&quot;806&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrFp9O7GhsMPsVbkjlxG2bE8bsI3F_SP1RxX1b6flRULFw64_iwn90jr8Z_Eb906UsyHukPcWJKxqbu7dCHNkf7DxIDuiGcJi6SYAcPSt7sLKWvsRvOf1CcEht_Ej69p6GizMAJOtKgSs/s320/f4xFLsnM0PQIgtBGtQgd31aTcY5M36P8DU4fE8JOYV8.jpg&quot; width=&quot;320&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div&gt;The Game Boy Micro is the last entry in the Game Boy family, retaining upgrades like the Game Boy Advance SP&#39;s backlight while further compressing the design into something that can disappear into just about any pocket. But what I find most interesting about it is its release date: September 2005, ten months&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;after&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;the Nintendo DS, which was already capable of playing every Game Boy Advance game as well as an entire new generation of dual-screen titles. So for the last fifteen years, I&#39;ve been asking myself: who was this thing made for?&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTS42fVC7_iWSzyJvS2zYY-Hq0gTWMtYSWbMXVnMgNKiMQKy3e6MroHHLHPG8MVpToLkFHYB5HpWhLqYnEVR6GN7ycgkf8LwYhX6ztVVeHQlwnfGu32Z2WPIqUdx13ONFw-gqF1uLBz9c/s565/Screenshot+%252891%2529.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;294&quot; data-original-width=&quot;565&quot; height=&quot;208&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTS42fVC7_iWSzyJvS2zYY-Hq0gTWMtYSWbMXVnMgNKiMQKy3e6MroHHLHPG8MVpToLkFHYB5HpWhLqYnEVR6GN7ycgkf8LwYhX6ztVVeHQlwnfGu32Z2WPIqUdx13ONFw-gqF1uLBz9c/w400-h208/Screenshot+%252891%2529.png&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Apparently, a lot more of us than I anticipated. But still, compared to the 40+ million SPs out there, it&#39;s a bit of an oddity.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I still use it, by the way. I even took it to Austin, Texas when I volunteered at RTX in 2017, and it was perfect for playing quick matches of Yu-Gi-Oh! during my down time.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;But, anyways. I&#39;m guessing you can figure out where this is going: I decided to make a Nuzlocke comic of my own.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;And I was going to do it my way.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;The hard way.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;You see, Nuzlocke comics aren&#39;t uniform, but many of them (including Petty&#39;s and Nick Franco&#39;s) share a specific type of formatting: long, scrolling pages containing sometimes dozens of panels, with each page covering a substantial amount of the story in order to tell the full story in a short-ish number of updates.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;This is not what I was used to. I was used to newspaper comic strips, or manga, or webcomics that effectively read like &quot;normal&quot; graphic novels. This was how I made comics for fun in elementary school, and this was how I wanted to make my Nuzlocke comic. My choice of graphic novel-style presentation, coupled with my penchant for world-building and small character moments, meant this was going to be an ambitious undertaking.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;In order to prepare for the comic, I kept a Word document open the whole time I played the game, which made the process take several months, instead of just days or weeks like my other Pokemon playthroughs. I took notes of &lt;i&gt;everything&lt;/i&gt;--every item I found, every trainer I fought, when and where every Pokemon leveled up.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Here&#39;s an example log of just one battle:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfrIp6tC2xK7qiycHNgorfDs7T7EE4dksw24hVPHsdC-9IiRkZerELRyEz2BZsGCd5fsePwNEDmmG0laR0lqQOWNDaeqDL_jCIBxbGwTbEv-c1JWynQFseF5GeLUjW251nIoWVCzEmNcs/s687/Screenshot+%252893%2529.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;687&quot; data-original-width=&quot;548&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfrIp6tC2xK7qiycHNgorfDs7T7EE4dksw24hVPHsdC-9IiRkZerELRyEz2BZsGCd5fsePwNEDmmG0laR0lqQOWNDaeqDL_jCIBxbGwTbEv-c1JWynQFseF5GeLUjW251nIoWVCzEmNcs/s16000/Screenshot+%252893%2529.png&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I ended up with 177 pages of notes.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Some Nuzlocke players start publicly chronicling their adventures early in their run, updating their comic in almost real time. I realized this wouldn&#39;t work for how I wanted to tell my story, so I didn&#39;t even begin drawing the prologue until I was somewhere around the seventh of eight Pokemon Gyms. This allowed me to give my comic more structure than some other Nuzlockes. I could foreshadow events, or have characters&#39; personalities start more fleshed out thanks to the ample lead time I got to spend with each Pokemon. I ended up using relatively little of my notes--probably only about a fifth of what I wrote down--but having them so thorough was instrumental in developing my comic&#39;s storytelling style.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I hand-drew the first few pages before deciding it looked too messy--I prefer drawing with pencils, but because I&#39;m left-handed I end up dragging large amounts of lead across the page as I tell a story from left to right. Plus, I was using printer paper and a basic home scanner, so I wasn&#39;t exactly getting professional results.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt1tZjwnOvTt_Cg6OlBfiQRsEo2Oqp2rLa3OTGn4WHaDi8oiIuUzFnlbzbDzanrkvYscapPTxt2hC1Ts_BfShsVRuZtnQCg2TmBYsGLotXjzbBveXyCw-kYsVbTo7YMI_STVsbK-ZG3EE/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;2048&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1489&quot; height=&quot;640&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt1tZjwnOvTt_Cg6OlBfiQRsEo2Oqp2rLa3OTGn4WHaDi8oiIuUzFnlbzbDzanrkvYscapPTxt2hC1Ts_BfShsVRuZtnQCg2TmBYsGLotXjzbBveXyCw-kYsVbTo7YMI_STVsbK-ZG3EE/w464-h640/Nuzlocke+0001.jpeg&quot; width=&quot;464&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;So, after a few test pages, I decided to switch to digital drawing for the first time. I had originally purchased a basic Wacom tablet for this project, but disliked the distance between where I was drawing and where I saw the results. It didn&#39;t feel intimate enough. Instead, I ended up using my dad&#39;s old Toshiba Portege M400, a notebook laptop circa 2005 which looks something like this (just add a large Coke decal):&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEhbfeasoOQ2nax73J0qpj36QafORJGED9wAaJhRtVfGAgQ1XyrZ38QDEK3rrxPat3kyyGt6eUPr5MwuuxWLNjEnzfim5zV9t7s07_vSdQOM54Gw_T0g_M8v3sr5Ke2ZhPmetNkF7lb74/s1405/gesamt3_17.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;1057&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1405&quot; height=&quot;301&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEhbfeasoOQ2nax73J0qpj36QafORJGED9wAaJhRtVfGAgQ1XyrZ38QDEK3rrxPat3kyyGt6eUPr5MwuuxWLNjEnzfim5zV9t7s07_vSdQOM54Gw_T0g_M8v3sr5Ke2ZhPmetNkF7lb74/w400-h301/gesamt3_17.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div&gt;You may notice that it seems like someone broke the poor thing&#39;s neck. This is because the touchscreen actually swivels on a central point and folds over the keyboard, instead of folding all the way open like modern notebook laptops. The touchscreen only responds to its stylus, meaning I could drag my hand across the screen without affecting anything. Furthermore, its screen isn&#39;t true glass, and has a level of give to it that feels almost like drawing on paper.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Unfortunately, my specific also M400 had no internet access, a faulty monitor connection, a severe overheating problem, no battery (literally no battery, we removed it because it was somehow interfering with the aforementioned monitor connection), and it weighed as much as a medium child. This sucker was an absolute bear to use.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Jack White once said that he believed the constraints of the White Stripes made for more creative work, and that he would intentionally make things harder on himself to stay energized and inspired. I like to think I believe this for myself, but what&#39;s more likely is that I just develop Stockholm Syndrome with my personal cages. After all, if I accept my limitations, I never have to learn anything else or improve myself.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;So not only did I decide I was going to draw the entire comic using this outdated, sputtering machine, I also decided I was only going to use five colors: black, white, light grey, dark grey, and a custom grey reserved for death scenes.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;But the biggest handicap? I was going to only use Microsoft Paint, because I am a glutton for punishment, and also nothing else would install.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I recreated the test pages quickly, after spending an exorbitant amount of time converting 8.5 x 11 inches into pixels based on the M400&#39;s resolution, ostensibly to keep in touch with the comic&#39;s humble printer paper origins but really because I&#39;m addicted to consistency. Once I had built up a small buffer of pages, it was time to go live.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5zVB44iW5JVnHDNvUu6mtbZvolISa6bdyDmahe7OPrNxiw8VpYjNxutiTwCOdPKXp4B-OncyrnjVsGgExrm0A55tGXutiI1vF7DI0_IT5iNYhBgBlfYw9RcUeoTrl-nSTW9SZiq0u1b0/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;1056&quot; data-original-width=&quot;816&quot; height=&quot;640&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5zVB44iW5JVnHDNvUu6mtbZvolISa6bdyDmahe7OPrNxiw8VpYjNxutiTwCOdPKXp4B-OncyrnjVsGgExrm0A55tGXutiI1vF7DI0_IT5iNYhBgBlfYw9RcUeoTrl-nSTW9SZiq0u1b0/w493-h640/Nuzlocke+0001.png&quot; width=&quot;493&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;On February 1, 2012, the above page was posted to SmackJeeves, along with the rest of the prologue, and I was officially a webcomic artist.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;What happened next is a long story.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://nothingsuitsme.blogspot.com/feeds/4332532204756015584/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://nothingsuitsme.blogspot.com/2021/01/how-i-become-webcomic-artist.html#comment-form' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/2748984712934822405/posts/default/4332532204756015584'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/2748984712934822405/posts/default/4332532204756015584'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://nothingsuitsme.blogspot.com/2021/01/how-i-become-webcomic-artist.html' title='How I Became a Webcomic Artist'/><author><name>Haunshaul</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/14345594236643362563</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUw1I_IU1qvgDjCumsq2vTHsxwS-izcfDPJoT01U3B6Zm5V7iBzz9vR-UBDxoPVTuSiqPtwNXUtfDhG5YtvkZuwc7JeXKOW4k1vSAc6acpbjT9eEPBuqCpoX_mq1xOvDUWnEEzW6sjbeg/s72-w640-h386-c/PXL_20210121_081059801.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2748984712934822405.post-6395201311802924680</id><published>2020-12-26T10:29:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2021-01-05T12:12:14.594-08:00</updated><title type='text'>How I Tried to Buy Myself a Title</title><content type='html'>For years, I&#39;ve wanted to be The Guy.&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;You know--that person who is known for having or doing something interesting, even if it&#39;s just within my circle of friends. The Guy With the Antique Books. The Guy Who Plays Slide Guitar. The Guy Who Spent a Month Writing a Novel in a Cabin.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;The problem is, I don&#39;t have the attention span, money, or talent to be The Guy in any truly fascinating capacity. But I also don&#39;t have the self-awareness to really convince myself that I can&#39;t ever be The Guy, so I keep creating new, often convoluted scenarios in which I could become The Guy. These goals, like Gamerscore, are pretty meaningless overall. They really only exist so I can have some sort of clout, as if I&#39;m not worth knowing if I don&#39;t have a gimmick.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I&#39;m sure I&#39;ll get into a number of these attempted goals, but today we&#39;re going to talk about the time I decided to be The Guy Who Owns All the Disney Infinity Content.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8IbehGoZw4bvzdcfheAYzPk333jVd-5ZoPryPVbDX4E9OsLPgal8aj3eiaiLcNM_yWoWcjy1DmHwPNXEV_gBH2v98HQ0ybsX41yqqWQXTPF7Xyf0r0_CXTvEgIIvDDjCntfuMyFsLiuA/s1000/71kXN6wC57L._SL1000_.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;912&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1000&quot; height=&quot;365&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8IbehGoZw4bvzdcfheAYzPk333jVd-5ZoPryPVbDX4E9OsLPgal8aj3eiaiLcNM_yWoWcjy1DmHwPNXEV_gBH2v98HQ0ybsX41yqqWQXTPF7Xyf0r0_CXTvEgIIvDDjCntfuMyFsLiuA/w400-h365/71kXN6wC57L._SL1000_.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;For anyone who isn&#39;t aware, Disney Infinity is a video game franchise that started in 2013 and makes use of real-life figures of various Disney personalities. When scanned into the game, these figures allow you to play as their respective characters, which means that the game expands in playability as your collection of toys increases. The gameplay itself is roughly broken down into two modes: mission-based adventure worlds focusing on specific franchises, and a free-roam creative zone called Toy Box mode, where all characters can interact and build or destroy the world as they see fit.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Despite coming from a variety of franchises--&lt;i&gt;Pirates of the Caribbean, Cars, Phineas and Ferb&lt;/i&gt;--the figures sport a universal art style that makes it reasonable for, say, the Lone Ranger to get into a paintball fight with Elsa.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC_2iApvEknaJ4pdmsBJVvzsL7IAZwwO55sS-hXtZoTqpftGOiXFFxm1vHR3Ki6MWzd-S5lK8BAeVeMh_BzJt0ZjKyYo0xZ4wdkQpOxDrPN-5Mv-P7BmhyZTfCCrZlEnD-UADK9659N-c/s567/N2UwM2JiMzlhZDE4NTlhYzEyMzc3M2MxNDMwNGQwZmKC6NkTchYxm7hQyH-Dk2XdaHR0cDovL21lZGlhLmFkc2ltZy5jb20vYTg4ZmJkMGM2NTM4ZjM4YTE0YWVmMzM2MWViZjdmYzlkNmUwMjYwZDU5NjljNThiYzM4MWEyMTRlOGVjMjQ5OS5qcGd8fHx8fHw3MDB4Mzk0fGh0dHA6Ly.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;379&quot; data-original-width=&quot;567&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC_2iApvEknaJ4pdmsBJVvzsL7IAZwwO55sS-hXtZoTqpftGOiXFFxm1vHR3Ki6MWzd-S5lK8BAeVeMh_BzJt0ZjKyYo0xZ4wdkQpOxDrPN-5Mv-P7BmhyZTfCCrZlEnD-UADK9659N-c/s16000/N2UwM2JiMzlhZDE4NTlhYzEyMzc3M2MxNDMwNGQwZmKC6NkTchYxm7hQyH-Dk2XdaHR0cDovL21lZGlhLmFkc2ltZy5jb20vYTg4ZmJkMGM2NTM4ZjM4YTE0YWVmMzM2MWViZjdmYzlkNmUwMjYwZDU5NjljNThiYzM4MWEyMTRlOGVjMjQ5OS5qcGd8fHx8fHw3MDB4Mzk0fGh0dHA6Ly.jpg&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Now, as with most things Disney, this wasn&#39;t an entirely new idea. The &quot;toys-to-life&quot; genre was first tested out in 2007 with Mattel&#39;s &lt;i&gt;U.B. Funkey&lt;/i&gt;, which is that Neopet-looking thing at the bottom of every garage sale toy box:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSMGJC3NK01ugXzbh_ryXPTvNcjHOB2GDDGNkPzGhRabwHMNio9l0ltcuT-iAORWzv5mxiZHMc0PFzYUn_7rGOzUUE6GPAVo_J8EnJ0tpuK7w3lkmDD_SBFJ7DL57iFCWnu4EHqFht91c/s314/ub+funkey.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;314&quot; data-original-width=&quot;212&quot; height=&quot;200&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSMGJC3NK01ugXzbh_ryXPTvNcjHOB2GDDGNkPzGhRabwHMNio9l0ltcuT-iAORWzv5mxiZHMc0PFzYUn_7rGOzUUE6GPAVo_J8EnJ0tpuK7w3lkmDD_SBFJ7DL57iFCWnu4EHqFht91c/w135-h200/ub+funkey.jpg&quot; width=&quot;135&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;While it started there, the toys-to-life concept exploded with 2011&#39;s &lt;i&gt;Skylanders: Spyro&#39;s Adventure&lt;/i&gt;, which featured 32 figures of mostly brand-new characters to collect and play as, but was able to capitalize on the name of a beloved purple dragon to get its footing. By the time &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;came on the scene, the &lt;i&gt;Skylanders &lt;/i&gt;franchise was two games deep, with a third just around the corner.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;While &lt;i&gt;Skylanders&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;captivated millions of kids, I remained distant. The technology was fascinating, but&amp;nbsp;I had no connection to any of these new faces. Plus, I wasn&#39;t a fan of the figures&#39; artistic direction. I accidentally won this goober from a bag of Doritos, though:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWq1XN5lD84UwhPIJxpm3X1dc_eXC7uGUfkVzzeTmEkJDOzX5oBpomfUaZG-BuuJLRj2-cjOEpewb2PZiiMiKLqxP9ZmH5AUI1D0y8-vCu_-bZ1kpNHRkyqDN48_kSRN2-lIcaYipGLY4/s300/Boomer1.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;300&quot; data-original-width=&quot;300&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWq1XN5lD84UwhPIJxpm3X1dc_eXC7uGUfkVzzeTmEkJDOzX5oBpomfUaZG-BuuJLRj2-cjOEpewb2PZiiMiKLqxP9ZmH5AUI1D0y8-vCu_-bZ1kpNHRkyqDN48_kSRN2-lIcaYipGLY4/s0/Boomer1.png&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;But then&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;was revealed, and everything clicked. It was the novelty of the toys-to-life genre infused with the personality of characters almost everyone already knows and loves. How could that bomb goblin up there compare with Rapunzel, or Jack Skellington, or Buzz Lightyear? In short, it seemed a surefire success. And, at least initially, it was. With all that Mickey money powering the new franchise, &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;quickly gained an enormous foothold in every store&#39;s video game department.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;It&#39;s worth mentioning at this point that, although the figures are delightful,&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;isn&#39;t a particularly great game. The creative Toy Box mode is severely hampered by a strict complexity limit, but even worlds that don&#39;t hit that cap tend to lag severely. The story modes were varying degrees of &quot;alright&quot;. I still have fond memories of the&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;Pirates of the Caribbean&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;world, if only because there historically haven&#39;t been many decent pirate games to compete. On the other hand, my most vivid memory of the&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;Monsters University&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;world is just that I had MS MR&#39;s&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;Secondhand Rapture&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;album on repeat during the time I was playing it.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjgKF7ccRx93fMaeJtkhZbqx0OBH9stTYGSGcs6UpDuhtgqVhb6kCKOK-ApxM6-6PoqbhgNmjukHTEMZRGlV4Cqmh3dsyEE_OuZ7t9oQm6RlHaBfp8gLvRYDpa9o4n2Nne2UZkmDpo_6g/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;1491&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1500&quot; height=&quot;319&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjgKF7ccRx93fMaeJtkhZbqx0OBH9stTYGSGcs6UpDuhtgqVhb6kCKOK-ApxM6-6PoqbhgNmjukHTEMZRGlV4Cqmh3dsyEE_OuZ7t9oQm6RlHaBfp8gLvRYDpa9o4n2Nne2UZkmDpo_6g/w320-h319/81V6sS-Q3oL._SL1500_.jpg&quot; width=&quot;320&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;But, weirdly enough, the game has little to do with this story--at least, for now.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;When &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity &lt;/i&gt;launched, I was attending college with my cousin (not the one I go camping with), and she has been a lifelong Disney fanatic. So when &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity&lt;/i&gt; came along and perfectly intersected her love for the House of Mouse with my longstanding collector&#39;s mentality (more on that later), I saw an in. An in on being The Guy, even if my sphere of influence was only this one person.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I don&#39;t blame her for what happened next, but I will attest that she was the catalyst behind my declaration:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&quot;I&#39;m gonna collect them all.&quot;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I didn&#39;t know it at the time, but this was a threat. To myself.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;So, I&#39;d decided to be The Guy Who Owns All the Disney Infinity Content. But what exactly did that entail? How many figures were there? How much did they cost? What about other merchandise, like posters and controllers and carrying cases?&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;My solution to many of these questions was to make a spreadsheet.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl4rIY6jmFSdc4QRhKMKhPhcMy3eb51kPKxOrwe5ggU_q97wmG4EGRK80F2eP9vosoTJlJI-0UbbvUXkR-IYWmae0PgxaD4IjBI1QRwnf5pjWtUI3GVqSrfsCGsn81jmXSeTgg6SYHaAE/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;646&quot; data-original-width=&quot;478&quot; height=&quot;640&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl4rIY6jmFSdc4QRhKMKhPhcMy3eb51kPKxOrwe5ggU_q97wmG4EGRK80F2eP9vosoTJlJI-0UbbvUXkR-IYWmae0PgxaD4IjBI1QRwnf5pjWtUI3GVqSrfsCGsn81jmXSeTgg6SYHaAE/w475-h640/Screenshot+%252882%2529.png&quot; width=&quot;475&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;div&gt;The figures for the first &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;game were released in two waves: seventeen characters across five franchises available at launch in August 2013, with an additional twelve characters arriving between October 2013 and April 2014. Figures were priced at $12.99 each, with a few exceptions. Certain characters were available in three-packs for $30, while others were only found in &quot;playset&quot; packs, which paired two characters and their own campaign world together for $35.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Let&#39;s do some math.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;After factoring in the $75 starter kit, determining which combo packs I would have purchased, and assuming I didn&#39;t take advantage of any sales at places like Toys &quot;R&quot; Us or Target (which I definitely did, and that helped a lot), I can say with relative confidence that the total cost of obtaining all 29 figures for the first game was approximately:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqsRLQOo9Is6YLCoueoY3RUsKCa2ttQ5QSuD44Vv1mcXN5SQyILTRRnqdc1fwxXvb4s8wLGs_vUuVVO0-pUTNrDl2TXP9QPzq252Q0GirWTBUC-5D6HTuieQXJGomDKASUgT5tMw2toNw/s2048/PXL_20201224_060525680.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;2048&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1949&quot; height=&quot;320&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqsRLQOo9Is6YLCoueoY3RUsKCa2ttQ5QSuD44Vv1mcXN5SQyILTRRnqdc1fwxXvb4s8wLGs_vUuVVO0-pUTNrDl2TXP9QPzq252Q0GirWTBUC-5D6HTuieQXJGomDKASUgT5tMw2toNw/s320/PXL_20201224_060525680.jpg&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;That&#39;s not a&lt;i&gt;&amp;nbsp;good&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;number.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Now, it&#39;s important to note that I &lt;i&gt;did&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;take advantage of several sales, so I would estimate my real investment to be a bit les. Let&#39;s call it $400.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;But I left out a few things.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbHzjR1P5YOtuzhelhweDJheL1xUGhVDoOY7GBXZoB4582sDwMq-fqSJ7ndZx6LcY1S9mi3GqrFmpW9-Y9_sZPR_sKryZBXIxAtE0fQjVgPD3YO3F_NetTzuctjiOlPTL3qP3U2F3Epfw/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;512&quot; data-original-width=&quot;512&quot; height=&quot;400&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbHzjR1P5YOtuzhelhweDJheL1xUGhVDoOY7GBXZoB4582sDwMq-fqSJ7ndZx6LcY1S9mi3GqrFmpW9-Y9_sZPR_sKryZBXIxAtE0fQjVgPD3YO3F_NetTzuctjiOlPTL3qP3U2F3Epfw/w400-h400/jack+skellington+case.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;First off is Jack Skellington&#39;s &quot;special edition&quot; packaging, which provided a custom display case and retailed for slightly more than the standalone figure. Let&#39;s call him $20 total (or, $7 extra for the case), because I don&#39;t remember the exact price point and it&#39;s currently one of the only &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;items that has increased in value.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJeWh9fas8K647MEosvgbNvkHew0rhBcvN5IxZtf5ZHr8NeYDd_UcD6M8MgeiUEK0CMh7kNC1z6AbOgtmRyNMchzIvFwvFWVO_zSHJ-3NC2AJe3bYH_oMAdEo4ILAT_lN76KGeUFRmNHE/s800/bb348673f16f26e099ef118acb81f409.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;674&quot; data-original-width=&quot;800&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJeWh9fas8K647MEosvgbNvkHew0rhBcvN5IxZtf5ZHr8NeYDd_UcD6M8MgeiUEK0CMh7kNC1z6AbOgtmRyNMchzIvFwvFWVO_zSHJ-3NC2AJe3bYH_oMAdEo4ILAT_lN76KGeUFRmNHE/s320/bb348673f16f26e099ef118acb81f409.png&quot; width=&quot;320&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Next are the Crystal figures--Toys &quot;R&quot; Us exclusive transparent variants of seven figures that are marginally more powerful than their regular counterparts, but mostly exist purely as collector bait. They were the same price as regular figures, but sometimes a bit harder to track down--especially since I only visited Toys &quot;R&quot; Us for &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;merch, and only had one store in my area.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVjYtAAKNFij1fC8IMtvXKkH_Be5E_0NPjxlpykaQ0wzTGwTRFdl6T402S8N2eKlLDgpQZSWRy2lTvr8lUfNxZYNH-ZIK9GRy1NbWW6HMo5j7w5sQ3a47oiUdjKqRQy6JJB1MHf7PeAS8/s654/Zootopia-Content.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;255&quot; data-original-width=&quot;654&quot; height=&quot;250&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVjYtAAKNFij1fC8IMtvXKkH_Be5E_0NPjxlpykaQ0wzTGwTRFdl6T402S8N2eKlLDgpQZSWRy2lTvr8lUfNxZYNH-ZIK9GRy1NbWW6HMo5j7w5sQ3a47oiUdjKqRQy6JJB1MHf7PeAS8/w640-h250/Zootopia-Content.jpg&quot; width=&quot;640&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;Then we have the Power Discs, the other major part of the game&#39;s marketing. These plastic tokens could stack on the game&#39;s base to provide extra content--powers and costumes from the round discs, and new items and textures from the hexagonal ones. They were sold in blind bags of two discs each, and they were &lt;i&gt;massively&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;over-produced--which, as it eventually turned out, was a recurring problem with the franchise. It wasn&#39;t uncommon to see huge sales on racks and racks of blind bags.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWAcz3GEDIMtRaXLSB-hQdDG42-SBJqniJbSXXbzSOsv6VXw6wN7OdAlgjniCFGHOs3evNND50kh6A7n_F-OBV84Of2Qa4kAX0hsnNBi2lWYZ4u5ChMTwMZieQASSGf-thP83rfytOTZQ/s512/unnameddi.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;288&quot; data-original-width=&quot;512&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWAcz3GEDIMtRaXLSB-hQdDG42-SBJqniJbSXXbzSOsv6VXw6wN7OdAlgjniCFGHOs3evNND50kh6A7n_F-OBV84Of2Qa4kAX0hsnNBi2lWYZ4u5ChMTwMZieQASSGf-thP83rfytOTZQ/s16000/unnameddi.jpg&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;A quick thing about blind bag products: they are inherently more desirable to collectors if they are labeled in a way that acknowledges the possibility of completing a set. When I walk past the displays by the checkout stand, even a product I wouldn&#39;t normally care about becomes more interesting if it&#39;s marked &quot;Collect all 12!&quot; At that point, the product becomes somewhat irrelevant, because they&#39;re selling you on the idea of a checklist that you can complete in order to give yourself a sense of accomplishment--even if the accomplishment is having a dozen squishy plastic animals cluttering up your desk. The sentiment is doubly true if something is marked as &quot;Series 1&quot;, because not only does it imply a set pool of items to collect, it also acknowledges the possibility for future sets that will have their own checklists, allowing for more potential worthless accomplishments.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I&#39;m not trying to make it seem like I&#39;m a genius for figuring out their marketing strategy. But it&#39;s important to note that even though I&#39;m very aware of how it works, they still get me with it all the time. Heck, they even got me with baseball cards once, and baseball literally puts me to sleep.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;And, let&#39;s face it: when you&#39;re twenty-something and feel like you&#39;ll never achieve any real sense of social, financial, or professional success because previous generations have shut the doors to stable careers and white picket fences behind them, and your peers have all spent years cultivating social media profiles that project lifestyles inherently more interesting than your own will ever be, marketing tricks like &quot;&quot;Buy this and feel something!&quot; are very effective.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyphJvDpt_IFzHt7N5PTbzTmYwhucXxj-LtY0YwAPqj-zayI80fQSQ3MccBwNBrhRxLD97ONIkgyuIJ9aUKtJkhvUdu_YcMWqmdaJ9R7Zbi8o0MVK04-UvpMO5tbpBQrflx2WEzfEEeBo/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;688&quot; data-original-width=&quot;3216&quot; height=&quot;136&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyphJvDpt_IFzHt7N5PTbzTmYwhucXxj-LtY0YwAPqj-zayI80fQSQ3MccBwNBrhRxLD97ONIkgyuIJ9aUKtJkhvUdu_YcMWqmdaJ9R7Zbi8o0MVK04-UvpMO5tbpBQrflx2WEzfEEeBo/w640-h136/2897229-9939923796-latest.png&quot; width=&quot;640&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Anyways.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;A total of 67 Power Discs were released during that first year, spread out across three series. Of those discs, a handful were Toys &quot;R&quot; Us exclusives, which came in their own specially-marked packs.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Now, I&#39;ve been collecting trading cards off and on for over twenty years, so I know just how frustrating it can be to try and complete a collection when you can&#39;t see what you&#39;re buying. Thankfully, Power Discs had a few workarounds. First, you could feel the shape of the discs through the packaging. If you knew you were only missing a couple of round discs, you could filter out anything with a detectable corner. Second, although there were seven &quot;rare&quot; discs that were printed at a lower rate than the others, they featured lenticular labels that could be felt through the packaging as well.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;So, yes, I would spend 15-30 minutes standing in Toys &quot;R&quot; Us, fondling pack after pack while I tried to find the most likely candidates to complete my collection. Thank you for asking.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;A third workaround, which I don&#39;t believe I ever did personally, was that the game&#39;s base could detect the discs through the packaging. Therefore, you could buy them, scan them, and return them if they were duplicates (or, if you were just interested in unlocking them once for their in-game badges, you could effectively complete your digital collection for free).&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I&#39;m sure that after a while I got sick of dealing with the blind bags and switched to buying single Power Discs off eBay, but for simplicity&#39;s sake we&#39;re going to assume that I bought exactly as many packs as I needed to get every Power Disc--34 packs at $5 each.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Oh, there&#39;s one last figure I forgot to mention.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;This is Sorcerer&#39;s Apprentice Mickey:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgWdXGoXiMpXIMwD6gGtKlI6YpE6AZnjaqq5uCRrt2dTaZQKAHs97hv9tzWJSJtovdFKX1f7pMnqht_n_XhkY-5-tm1B5LO_V5KLddxBO0r4NWrQzEU9H0N2BkdGlGLqdWfO0TiAoR4Y8/s397/mickey+normal.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;397&quot; data-original-width=&quot;268&quot; height=&quot;320&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgWdXGoXiMpXIMwD6gGtKlI6YpE6AZnjaqq5uCRrt2dTaZQKAHs97hv9tzWJSJtovdFKX1f7pMnqht_n_XhkY-5-tm1B5LO_V5KLddxBO0r4NWrQzEU9H0N2BkdGlGLqdWfO0TiAoR4Y8/s320/mickey+normal.jpg&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;div&gt;And this is the Sorcerer&#39;s Apprentice Mickey variant figure, only available as a giveaway at Disney&#39;s D23 Expo in August 2013:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWeob1c1VRBVneL6IC9RRP-00fsjZZ8YrdHEGE_G-YhF3mpKgsHJem7RnbiYxY1WAb9CvZCfnCKV2mSSLCXW5Q5YF_OKqHPb6NCQUG5vPLwYHKoZ5fmN6x_nx7n_aFzOhrxavwOpHdZII/s588/fancy+mickey.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;588&quot; data-original-width=&quot;363&quot; height=&quot;320&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWeob1c1VRBVneL6IC9RRP-00fsjZZ8YrdHEGE_G-YhF3mpKgsHJem7RnbiYxY1WAb9CvZCfnCKV2mSSLCXW5Q5YF_OKqHPb6NCQUG5vPLwYHKoZ5fmN6x_nx7n_aFzOhrxavwOpHdZII/s320/fancy+mickey.png&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;div&gt;The only difference? The stars on his hat are silver instead of blue.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Only 5,000 of these suckers were made, and they are almost identical to the standard figure released a few months later. But technically, &lt;i&gt;technically&lt;/i&gt;, it&#39;s a different figure. So I had to have it. My eBay history doesn&#39;t go back that far, but I believe I paid $135 for it.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_0662YI_Y0SNa4pevp4Ac0qJlcQ6WGgJUN3vLDoEMxU0fefrajq1k9jYbhsx6JBtN7aJryKlLD6WxfP9wixhUwTyV7SRsGcPjA7N4h88b4Ixz9i0luNrMslhL7lP3CIhEisAgzWrX1V4/s1000/7509057373090.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;1000&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1000&quot; height=&quot;320&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_0662YI_Y0SNa4pevp4Ac0qJlcQ6WGgJUN3vLDoEMxU0fefrajq1k9jYbhsx6JBtN7aJryKlLD6WxfP9wixhUwTyV7SRsGcPjA7N4h88b4Ixz9i0luNrMslhL7lP3CIhEisAgzWrX1V4/s320/7509057373090.jpg&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;The last item that unlocked in-game content for the first &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity &lt;/i&gt;game--but wasn&#39;t actually a &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;product itself--was the Magic Band, a type of digital pass/wallet for use in the Disney theme parks. I ordered one for... let&#39;s say $10. I mean, at this point it&#39;s obvious I had no respect for my own money.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFmmhb5SRBGZj6KNbfzbBvXwmw-hh9q9iEMTk3qDLb6wiVjZD8eIMiJVg8Iw3BJ7394yNT1CcXBS7zawjSKFdOXBp2Q8Jf5sRMnu4YLOYiyuxJyCtoI8NJ4IFxApZsh-4MzVvqdrczE9k/s2048/PXL_20201224_060935871.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;2022&quot; data-original-width=&quot;2048&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFmmhb5SRBGZj6KNbfzbBvXwmw-hh9q9iEMTk3qDLb6wiVjZD8eIMiJVg8Iw3BJ7394yNT1CcXBS7zawjSKFdOXBp2Q8Jf5sRMnu4YLOYiyuxJyCtoI8NJ4IFxApZsh-4MzVvqdrczE9k/s320/PXL_20201224_060935871.jpg&quot; width=&quot;320&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;div&gt;And that&#39;s how I spent $713 on one video game.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Now, I will freely admit there were a few &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;products that I made no attempt to collect. These were mostly accessories, though--carrying cases for Power Discs, branded third-party console controllers, and other merchandise that did not qualify as actual game content. I ignored these the same way a Foo Fighters super-fan would collect all their music, but maybe not every t-shirt and poster they&#39;ve ever printed. They don&#39;t&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;really&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;count towards completion.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;So, there you have it: one complete &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;collection. Sure, I was over $700 deep into a game that I&#39;d played for maybe thirty hours, and I didn&#39;t really have the space to display all the figures, but I&#39;d done it. I was, at least in my small circle of myself and my cousin, The Guy Who Owns All the Disney Infinity Content.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I really, &lt;i&gt;really&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;wish the story stopped here.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;On September 23, 2014, a second&lt;i&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/i&gt;game released: &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity 2.0 Edition&lt;/i&gt;. And instead of being all over the place with like the first base set, this one had a focus:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXkwAJt9hx7MjOo0EYCXg5ro_4h6GlUiHpeoNUnJlNMA2NGeJdgid6SuS5lLBZFJsrSX1RABtZ-on9-1a1Z_BJBFIr4tRw0MgYuNL1C8xPQUNDV3gpV9CHKhOeoIcbQwYDGmfdR8wOXn0/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;861&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1000&quot; height=&quot;344&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXkwAJt9hx7MjOo0EYCXg5ro_4h6GlUiHpeoNUnJlNMA2NGeJdgid6SuS5lLBZFJsrSX1RABtZ-on9-1a1Z_BJBFIr4tRw0MgYuNL1C8xPQUNDV3gpV9CHKhOeoIcbQwYDGmfdR8wOXn0/w400-h344/6761301_sd.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;You guys, I &lt;i&gt;love&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;Marvel. I&#39;m still working on my familiarity with the comics, but I have a huge place in my heart for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. To this day,&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;Avengers: Endgame&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;is one of only three films that has made me shed a tear. So you best believe I was all over this new wave of &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity &lt;/i&gt;content (which also featured a healthy mix of Disney original characters). Plus, referring to it as &quot;2.0 Edition&quot; meant they were using a similar naming convention to the blind bag products I mentioned earlier, so you know I was &lt;i&gt;hooked&lt;/i&gt;.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;A total of 32 new figures were released over the next year, including two variant figures: a Crystal version of Sorcerer&#39;s Apprentice Mickey (really getting some mileage out of that mold), and a Black Suit Spider-Man, which for many months was exclusive to the PlayStation Vita starter set (or, in my case, purchased for $34 off eBay). Additionally, four of the new figures had special display cases similar to Jack Skellington&#39;s, and I know I accidently doubled up on figures at least once because of that.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Besides the figures, 84 new Power Discs were released. Two of these were only available in a bundle with Aladdin and Jasmine figures, while another two were released as a &quot;Rare Power Disc&quot; pack. Instead of dealing with the blind bags again, I made two bulk purchases to obtain every disc except the two featured in the &quot;Rare&quot; pack. I also had to snag the two special mini-game discs which were included in the alternate starter set:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiodGYOiy1WK8iuH-dodwDzBeIoo-Qf-WoUMCNIJsVN5pVU8UZqbXimIg6fOK2Ycdf_KgGbEqPPfk6VhQ2GBxDlcOaOHx_C5Vb_dZUH_b2zR7vYjNXXvyXGdDlawVobs2uuG7ed7acOMa4/s1500/91S-ogFc9PL._AC_SL1500_.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;1209&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1500&quot; height=&quot;323&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiodGYOiy1WK8iuH-dodwDzBeIoo-Qf-WoUMCNIJsVN5pVU8UZqbXimIg6fOK2Ycdf_KgGbEqPPfk6VhQ2GBxDlcOaOHx_C5Vb_dZUH_b2zR7vYjNXXvyXGdDlawVobs2uuG7ed7acOMa4/w400-h323/91S-ogFc9PL._AC_SL1500_.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;div&gt;And, just for the heck of it, I snagged a Frost Giant statue/display stand that originally came with the PlayStation Collector&#39;s Edition when I saw it on clearance at a used game store:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI0G4KGu8Q7a7bcb6WKk-gn0htSkSvx_V09zqKtzepsvGEGT50XSaX72yUQPJO_eK3u7gBVsEGNtYvoqc4jearh8azDU9Xe1k-YvOeDdtAy3EfT4uBlt77EJ6pEVpW-OES2JS1488OP6Y/s500/s-l640.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;344&quot; data-original-width=&quot;500&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI0G4KGu8Q7a7bcb6WKk-gn0htSkSvx_V09zqKtzepsvGEGT50XSaX72yUQPJO_eK3u7gBVsEGNtYvoqc4jearh8azDU9Xe1k-YvOeDdtAy3EfT4uBlt77EJ6pEVpW-OES2JS1488OP6Y/s320/s-l640.png&quot; width=&quot;320&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;div&gt;After doing some more sticky-note math, I believe I actually spent a little less on the &lt;i&gt;2.0&lt;/i&gt; releases than the &lt;i&gt;1.0&lt;/i&gt; collection. Not much less, mind you--we&#39;re still talking probably $600-650. But it was an improvement! I&#39;d gotten everything for both installments, with the exception of the two &quot;Rare&quot; discs, which I would just keep an eye out for when I--&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7_hPwy1TrzM5WuuQaAfL3dd9pTUcoBcN4NciOMahCLVkoTsTjFGNmyqRnbbRRsn6aBxQIVg30HhyAeEKDxkDyr_ectArAjk-V-C3rpVHoonybHTrQ-ZYbvgS3Z6p7_KFLdIrbEme2PqE/s2000/1e3be83f-3eda-45dd-9623-643ff642a8ea_1.468876c5ea10e72bc83265878b78d70e.jpeg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;1535&quot; data-original-width=&quot;2000&quot; height=&quot;308&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7_hPwy1TrzM5WuuQaAfL3dd9pTUcoBcN4NciOMahCLVkoTsTjFGNmyqRnbbRRsn6aBxQIVg30HhyAeEKDxkDyr_ectArAjk-V-C3rpVHoonybHTrQ-ZYbvgS3Z6p7_KFLdIrbEme2PqE/w400-h308/1e3be83f-3eda-45dd-9623-643ff642a8ea_1.468876c5ea10e72bc83265878b78d70e.jpeg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;div&gt;Okay, here&#39;s the thing.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I don&#39;t even like &lt;i&gt;Star Wars&lt;/i&gt;.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I&#39;ve never cared about it. I think some of the characters look cool, and I&#39;ve seen parts of several of the movies, but as a whole the franchise does nothing for me. So I wasn&#39;t exactly stoked about this new iteration of &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity&lt;/i&gt;.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;But I said I was gonna be The Guy Who Owns All the Disney Infinity Content.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;And that meant collecting all--*gulp*--&lt;i&gt;fifty-three&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;new figures.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Seven of these were &quot;Light FX&quot; variants, which allowed the glow from the base to feed through the characters and into their lightsabers. They had no in-game differences from their standard counterparts, but they were technically--&lt;i&gt;technically&lt;/i&gt;--different figures.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5EHkfmt6rpmbLM2L5KMq8KhT843SeFFCVnHgWMGdaq6St7qax0NYvuxHYA_6rgr5P5wQAsU684nQze-C4ETw23QolqGXJ01C67ZHJRippr-VdN65QLvPUpt9nzCWsmXJ1OGl7gF00Qv0/&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; data-original-height=&quot;1365&quot; data-original-width=&quot;2048&quot; height=&quot;267&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5EHkfmt6rpmbLM2L5KMq8KhT843SeFFCVnHgWMGdaq6St7qax0NYvuxHYA_6rgr5P5wQAsU684nQze-C4ETw23QolqGXJ01C67ZHJRippr-VdN65QLvPUpt9nzCWsmXJ1OGl7gF00Qv0/w400-h267/IMG_3942.0.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;Thanks to the ridiculous number of figures, we&#39;re already over $700 before we even get to the Power Discs for this round (which, thankfully, were now sold in guaranteed sets instead of blind bags). Not only was this collection taking a huge toll on my wallet, but I&#39;d long ago run out of space for my collection. Instead of earning a spot on my media shelf, new figures tended to be scanned into my game and then immediately dumped into a large cardboard box where my other figures lived. The process of collecting everything &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;had been fun for the first year or so, but now it was just a chore--a chore where the only consequences for stopping were &lt;i&gt;good&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;ones. But I plugged on.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;As with the previous games, the figures for &lt;i&gt;3.0 &lt;/i&gt;were released steadily over the next several months, beginning with the starter set in August 2015. The holiday sales let me make significant progress on my collection at a reduced cost, but the figures were becoming more difficult to shop for since I was unfamiliar with many of the new characters. But by May 2016, releases were slowing to a trickle, and it was about time to start the hype train for &lt;i&gt;4.0 Edition&lt;/i&gt;. Where would they go next? Would they continue with one of their previous themes, or move into a new realm, like their ABC Studios content? Would we get a &lt;i&gt;Pretty Little Liars&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;playset?&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqqRRQb1CLmqouOt6o1KipwtyVHzI_VlfxbQD2WR3s3u9XlMY1jry_qeZtIAr6hpCVBY_hOz6dp2AkN20zVkNISJbQFgZOIXFX96j3ij0Y8bSp-0TLqmfr6SvddF6fjRHzOvi1whJfzcg/s976/Screenshot+%252883%2529.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;353&quot; data-original-width=&quot;976&quot; height=&quot;232&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqqRRQb1CLmqouOt6o1KipwtyVHzI_VlfxbQD2WR3s3u9XlMY1jry_qeZtIAr6hpCVBY_hOz6dp2AkN20zVkNISJbQFgZOIXFX96j3ij0Y8bSp-0TLqmfr6SvddF6fjRHzOvi1whJfzcg/w640-h232/Screenshot+%252883%2529.png&quot; width=&quot;640&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;div&gt;I&#39;m not sure you can imagine how much of a relief this was.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Apparently, all that Mickey Money was being spent on producing far more figures and discs than were being purchased, all in an effort to overrun the competition instead of cultivating a smaller, more stable market share. The cancellation came as a shock to many, from the general public who saw the &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity &lt;/i&gt;logo in every video game department to the hardcore fans who were already drooling over mock-ups of upcoming figures like Peter Pan and Doctor Strange.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Nemo and Dory from &lt;i&gt;Finding Dory&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;were released that June, marking the end of &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity&lt;/i&gt;&#39;s release cycle. Despite this, leaks continued to trickle in for what could have been, including a line of deluxe 12-inch figures including Darth Vader, Hulk, and Jack Skellington.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGN-SUrv8c6UhQUlTq5lh74jNhsPaVmdB83xv9bZ0soGmyLS6UejhebN5P9vnqqQaP2mXOWTZ8Tit-Phez1olVyIBcVebgcfK-WhsklnbAlsNyV3pUNRoYNCXv4tPW4TG5B5lmj9mP2_c/s838/Screenshot+%252884%2529.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;735&quot; data-original-width=&quot;838&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGN-SUrv8c6UhQUlTq5lh74jNhsPaVmdB83xv9bZ0soGmyLS6UejhebN5P9vnqqQaP2mXOWTZ8Tit-Phez1olVyIBcVebgcfK-WhsklnbAlsNyV3pUNRoYNCXv4tPW4TG5B5lmj9mP2_c/s320/Screenshot+%252884%2529.png&quot; width=&quot;320&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;By the time the franchise was cancelled, my collection was almost complete. I was still missing those two Power Discs from &lt;i&gt;2.0&lt;/i&gt;, as well as figures of Nemo and Mickey Mouse (in his standard outfit) from &lt;i&gt;3.0&lt;/i&gt;. I&#39;d even snagged up another D23 exclusive: a costume Power Disc that unlocked a&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;Kingdom Hearts &lt;/i&gt;costume for Mickey&lt;i&gt;. &lt;/i&gt;At only $82, it was a steal! (This is sarcasm and I&#39;m numb to my own self-loathing.) I was so close, but I needed a break. So, for the time being, I turned my attention to the one last completion task.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;You see, all three &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity &lt;/i&gt;iterations were available on Xbox consoles, as well as Windows 8/10. And that meant there were achievements.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;None of the games are particularly challenging, and having a collection of over 100 figures made several achievements very easy to obtain. Some of them took a while, but rarely was skill a factor.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;But then in March 2017, the online servers for the entire &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity &lt;/i&gt;series were shut down. This meant that players could no longer join each others&#39; games or share their creations, and any online-based achievements were made permanently unobtainable. Thankfully, we had some warning that the servers would be closing, which was a blessing. The only thing more frustrating than having a game with achievements that you don&#39;t want to get is having a game with achievements that are physically impossible to get. Because of this, I made sure to not only get all the Xbox online achievements out of the way before the shutdown, but I even started the Windows 10 version of &lt;i&gt;3.0 Edition&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;in February 2017 solely to pop the one online achievement present in that game. That way, I would someday be able to not only have a complete physical &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity &lt;/i&gt;collection, but I could also say I obtained every achievement in the franchise.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;March 3 arrived, and the servers closed. It was a bummer that they couldn&#39;t even allow for players to connect directly, which many games can do without a dedicated server, but ultimately I had little interest in that part of the game. I played it almost entirely solo, and losing connection to the broader web of players was of little importance so long as I&#39;d already gotten the online achievements, the only ones that would be inaccessible later.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS4eYRMWyzAtuAnp6pq7AQWZbPUSy_2_OEyiXF6jLjpOiX9PjqqlQGGQWruL2bwZ-DpS-RXul5BmDBFMN4b6ei2mL0N5NVqh7PytUkZV62DflIRF3BmoXYQPmjLGTdCwD6wn_hgoSEtdE/s1428/Screenshot+%252885%2529.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;406&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1428&quot; height=&quot;182&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS4eYRMWyzAtuAnp6pq7AQWZbPUSy_2_OEyiXF6jLjpOiX9PjqqlQGGQWruL2bwZ-DpS-RXul5BmDBFMN4b6ei2mL0N5NVqh7PytUkZV62DflIRF3BmoXYQPmjLGTdCwD6wn_hgoSEtdE/w640-h182/Screenshot+%252885%2529.png&quot; width=&quot;640&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;div&gt;This is the profile for the Windows 10 version of &lt;i&gt;3.0 Edition&lt;/i&gt;. Do you see how the number of &quot;discontinued achievements&quot; matches up perfectly with the total number of achievements? And do you see how &lt;i&gt;my&amp;nbsp;&lt;/i&gt;achievement total does &lt;i&gt;not&lt;/i&gt;?&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;This is because, for whatever reason, even the single player achievements in the Windows 10 version of the game are tied to the online servers. So when they shut down in March 2017, the entire game was bricked as far as achievements were concerned. Meaning my one achievement on February 22--an attempt to make sure I&#39;d be able to someday get every &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;achievement--actually condemned me to a game where I am eternally stuck at only 1 of 15 achievements. I will &lt;i&gt;never&amp;nbsp;&lt;/i&gt;be able to improve this score. There is no workaround, no cheat, nothing sneaky I can do. It&#39;s just...there. A permanent stain.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;The complete shutdown of the Windows 10 game turned out to be the last straw for me. I haven&#39;t booted up any of the games, even the ones I&#39;m still capable of completing, in over three years.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I still have all my &lt;i&gt;Disney Infinity&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;stuff, tucked away in a large box at my parents&#39; house. I&#39;ve yet to get those final two figures and discs, and I still can&#39;t decide if I ever will.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Part of me loves the idea of someday creating a display of the entire franchise&#39;s legacy, a way to commemorate its brief life and my foolish attempt to be The Guy Who Owns All the Disney Infinity Content. I imagine a three-tiered shelf with perfectly-shaped slots for the figures&#39; bases, with LEDs installed under the Light FX and Crystal figures to showcase their designs. The collection would take up more room than it deserves considering how quickly it switched from hobby to obligation, but it&#39;s a nice idea.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;There&#39;s another part of me that just wants to get rid of it all--save the space, recoup a tiny fraction of the two thousand dollars I spent over three years, and acknowledge that it was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad idea. The sunk cost fallacy suggests this would be a waste, but we all know it&#39;s the healthiest choice. Well, all of us except that little voice in my head telling me I need to be The Guy &lt;i&gt;somehow&lt;/i&gt;, but I think we know by now how crazy he is.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;And then there&#39;s one last, tiny part of me that wants to go even further.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;You see, some of those unreleased figures--Peter Pan, Doctor Strange, the oversized characters--actually made it into early production. There aren&#39;t a lot out there--maybe a few hundred Peter Pans, and probably only a handful of the rest--but they exist. That last part of me wants to take this project to its illogical conclusion and track down every last figure, whether they saw a retail release or not. Then I&#39;d truly be The Guy Who Owns All the Disney Infinity Content.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Of course, the prices for those figures are absolutely insane.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp5LwcwTpkJCHiqIoto-t2IRFdSdLtkFCsfm6BqbnBo0hvNeGniLkMkAguQtD6sgFPEk4M0PE79A8LFbhSch18sH-ux5XoRYrkafm4WZ6tlIjilpb3hN9oNvSDlYUviToPijSTauhfasI/s1052/Screenshot+%252886%2529.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;791&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1052&quot; height=&quot;482&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp5LwcwTpkJCHiqIoto-t2IRFdSdLtkFCsfm6BqbnBo0hvNeGniLkMkAguQtD6sgFPEk4M0PE79A8LFbhSch18sH-ux5XoRYrkafm4WZ6tlIjilpb3hN9oNvSDlYUviToPijSTauhfasI/w640-h482/Screenshot+%252886%2529.png&quot; width=&quot;640&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;div&gt;But let&#39;s be honest, we can all see that I clicked on them.&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://nothingsuitsme.blogspot.com/feeds/6395201311802924680/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://nothingsuitsme.blogspot.com/2020/12/how-i-tried-to-buy-myself-title.html#comment-form' title='1 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/2748984712934822405/posts/default/6395201311802924680'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/2748984712934822405/posts/default/6395201311802924680'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://nothingsuitsme.blogspot.com/2020/12/how-i-tried-to-buy-myself-title.html' title='How I Tried to Buy Myself a Title'/><author><name>Haunshaul</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/14345594236643362563</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8IbehGoZw4bvzdcfheAYzPk333jVd-5ZoPryPVbDX4E9OsLPgal8aj3eiaiLcNM_yWoWcjy1DmHwPNXEV_gBH2v98HQ0ybsX41yqqWQXTPF7Xyf0r0_CXTvEgIIvDDjCntfuMyFsLiuA/s72-w400-h365-c/71kXN6wC57L._SL1000_.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>1</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2748984712934822405.post-8809245077183465241</id><published>2020-12-13T11:11:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2020-12-13T15:19:08.978-08:00</updated><title type='text'>How I Ruined Camping With Achievements</title><content type='html'>&lt;div&gt;With only a few exceptions, I have gone camping with my parents and my older cousin every year since I was five. We are by no means &quot;hardcore&quot; campers, but my mom did try to enforce a &quot;no phones&quot; rule for as long as possible. My cousin was the first to routinely break this rule as a teenager, when his hormones kicked in and his hierarchy of needs underwent a small adjustment.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKIug5hCcmEiaks0br9eEBM7E6ZSUkbpCkyInjf2bRP4m76xl8BkJDzvBy7NsNaae_kQ0B_vBsgsr0iN6ClFAjEoLRFcsefED50zpjxSFRt4kW214VX7eMiC5GPLsenkLdvwYxWZJz-VE/s2000/2000px-MaslowsHierarchyOfNeeds.svg.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;1414&quot; data-original-width=&quot;2000&quot; height=&quot;283&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKIug5hCcmEiaks0br9eEBM7E6ZSUkbpCkyInjf2bRP4m76xl8BkJDzvBy7NsNaae_kQ0B_vBsgsr0iN6ClFAjEoLRFcsefED50zpjxSFRt4kW214VX7eMiC5GPLsenkLdvwYxWZJz-VE/w400-h283/2000px-MaslowsHierarchyOfNeeds.svg.png&quot; width=&quot;400&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;I, of course, eventually became a teenager myself, but I tried to uphold the spirit of camping longer than my cousin did. In fact, it was actually sort of relaxing being entirely separated from the larger world for a few days. I would spend the better part of each camping trip curled up by the fire, enjoying a good book and the sound of the rushing river behind the trees.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;div&gt;Then came 2014.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;On January 12, just two months after ruining video games for myself forever, I discovered a website for broken people like myself. It was called TrueAchievements, and it was my personal Xbox achievement spreadsheet on steroids. Here&#39;s a sample page:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcqYwqAewYZITHNY-XOSIWAtUTfV7EP1WrHcb72Iu0wh7byAntbVPPCI7ECMJZLCt6rVBtOq2R4SCIV6jIRAnBg6m0g3l2H0txrXZQwYIFBB5e6UlnVORHKs-aQBHnlqixP_Wq2hMA8dk/s1431/Screenshot+%252874%2529.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;864&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1431&quot; height=&quot;439&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcqYwqAewYZITHNY-XOSIWAtUTfV7EP1WrHcb72Iu0wh7byAntbVPPCI7ECMJZLCt6rVBtOq2R4SCIV6jIRAnBg6m0g3l2H0txrXZQwYIFBB5e6UlnVORHKs-aQBHnlqixP_Wq2hMA8dk/w727-h439/Screenshot+%252874%2529.png&quot; width=&quot;727&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Not only did it include all the information I&#39;d been tracking on my own (presented in a much more attractive fashion), it also featured achievement guides, discussion forums, and community challenges. One of the site&#39;s most novel features--which we&#39;ll touch on later--was community-organized &quot;Boosting Sessions&quot;, where players would gather at a specific time and help each other obtain specific achievements.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I had known other players collected Xbox achievements, but this was a whole new ball game. Now &lt;i&gt;this&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;was where I belonged.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;After getting over the initial flood of offerings TrueAchievements provided, the feature that most interested me was a personal statistic called &quot;Achievement Streaks&quot;, the longest stretches of time a player obtained one or more achievement across consecutive days. And, wouldn&#39;t you know it, I had racked up a 13-day streak in late 2013 without even realizing it! I eagerly rushed to the leaderboards to see how I stacked up against other users and--&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV9IZbAFbzPeiMchEwwC65bSayo__y_viMXb24Z8zUzfQebo3x_aDGAR5JXcSaEGlvgN1uQXfATIwJyhXWup88C3napgmNP-ME7JPaqsojpTMUY9QzJSeJl2FTVoOzaKWux1_ZrzDXHr0/s388/Screenshot+%252876%2529.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;388&quot; data-original-width=&quot;330&quot; height=&quot;320&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV9IZbAFbzPeiMchEwwC65bSayo__y_viMXb24Z8zUzfQebo3x_aDGAR5JXcSaEGlvgN1uQXfATIwJyhXWup88C3napgmNP-ME7JPaqsojpTMUY9QzJSeJl2FTVoOzaKWux1_ZrzDXHr0/s320/Screenshot+%252876%2529.png&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Well.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I knew I was years behind making a dent in the site-wide leaderboards--which would naturally continue to move further from my reach as the top players continued their streaks--but I could still try for a personal best. I decided to set my sights on 100 days. One achievement minimum per day for just over three months. It would be a challenge, but hardly impossible. And once I&#39;d done that, I would go back to my new normal of getting as many achievements as possible, as fast as possible. No point dragging things out when the pool of available Gamerscore was growing with each new game release.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;The streak began on February 8 with &quot;Close to the Animals&quot;, a fairly simple achievement in the new &lt;i&gt;Zoo Tycoon&lt;/i&gt; game for the Xbox One (which, in case you&#39;re wondering, pales in comparison to the PC original). From there, I bounced around to numerous titles including &lt;i&gt;Tomb Raider, Lego Batman, Jeopardy, Call of Duty,&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;and Burger King&#39;s &lt;i&gt;PocketBike Racer&lt;/i&gt;.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuQAH-q3dzRJICvaeZa3I8_-IpqXCGMcHybnxv18kvvGK1ssdldkb_pk0VR9u5librtf74KJ4VRqgsqS3oMxqanumWjL_P6bYm3z1hB4qnhUhFJatOXngS6HCTYjOPvGbS3Wztvc6j5QI/s1312/71Oh-HbUspL.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;600&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1312&quot; height=&quot;292&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuQAH-q3dzRJICvaeZa3I8_-IpqXCGMcHybnxv18kvvGK1ssdldkb_pk0VR9u5librtf74KJ4VRqgsqS3oMxqanumWjL_P6bYm3z1hB4qnhUhFJatOXngS6HCTYjOPvGbS3Wztvc6j5QI/w640-h292/71Oh-HbUspL.jpg&quot; width=&quot;640&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;div&gt;(These are all real games, available from Burger King restaurants for $5 each in 2006. None of them are very good, but they are interesting for being--as far as I know--the only discs to contain both the Xbox 360 and original Xbox versions of the same game on them.)&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I didn&#39;t initially plan out the streak, because I knew I would be unlocking plenty of achievements naturally. &lt;i&gt;Fable Anniversary--&lt;/i&gt;an HD remake of 2004&#39;s&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;Fable--&lt;/i&gt;had just released at the start of the month, and I played it almost nonstop for about a week until I perfected it. That momentum carried me into&amp;nbsp;bingeing several games over the next month, with brief pit stops in other titles.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;During this time, I even participated in several boosting sessions for several multiplayer achievements I would have had a bear of a time obtaining organically. Besides just generally being more well-versed in achievement hunting, many of these gamers were from Europe, so I had to battle both poor microphone quality and international accents in addition to already feeling like a novice among pros. These sessions plumped up my Gamerscore and helped take care of some of the ugly black clouds lurking over my completion percentage.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW6yrkc3QLZuplzQV6FYMyIXJMkF9iWA4Dx9E10X0Bjv0XhnuJupzDCalWTzREApweP6bayrMyyaC-ZaT1ihrC6_40hYMoCFSYJG9JxfQewuvKY8a7NkfjW-Z6KuhDqmMk2eCUpO5cjm8/s937/Screenshot+%252867%2529.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;289&quot; data-original-width=&quot;937&quot; height=&quot;198&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW6yrkc3QLZuplzQV6FYMyIXJMkF9iWA4Dx9E10X0Bjv0XhnuJupzDCalWTzREApweP6bayrMyyaC-ZaT1ihrC6_40hYMoCFSYJG9JxfQewuvKY8a7NkfjW-Z6KuhDqmMk2eCUpO5cjm8/w640-h198/Screenshot+%252867%2529.png&quot; width=&quot;640&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;(I would like to take a moment to remind you that this story started with camping, and assure you that we will return there at some point.)&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;It wasn&#39;t until the back half of March that I began actively planning my 100-day streak. Instead of unlocking a dozen or more achievements in a single day by bingeing a new title, I became more methodical in my game choices. I began plotting out which achievements I would get each day, often saving very easy achievements&amp;nbsp;for when I knew I wouldn&#39;t have much time for a more labor-intensive alternative. I would make progress towards cumulative achievements and stop just short of completing them, effectively chambering them to fire off when I didn&#39;t have any other options that day. I would frequently start progress on achievements after 11 p.m. and aim to complete them at 12:01 a.m. so I could sleep with the day&#39;s achievement already taken care of. In some cases, I was planning full weeks in advance.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I reached my goal of a 100-day streak on May 19, in the middle of a two-week run of achievements in&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare&lt;/i&gt;. As it turned out, the streak really hadn&#39;t been that much of a challenge. Sure, I played some clunkers along the way (the only redeeming quality of the tie-in game for &lt;i&gt;Brave&amp;nbsp;&lt;/i&gt;is that they managed to get Kelly MacDonald to reprise her role as Merida), but overall it was a fun exercise that helped me clear some of my backlog. Plus, it let me role-play being a master strategist, putting the pieces in place to secure daily achievements well down the line.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;So, I figured, why not go for a year?&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilj2LcU52KJpHFt2iIvY0cy0-wJDzQSdTn3HxZ3bXourkFzDCqZbcfelDKKwRxRxEcST0lVmFPE-EzYglT5zc01UguCVgIZ0Oo70sphYJYJIyewXY4SKbgm6ey5mLb9LHODvLP4pZToP8/s587/Screenshot+%252878%2529.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;587&quot; data-original-width=&quot;520&quot; height=&quot;320&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilj2LcU52KJpHFt2iIvY0cy0-wJDzQSdTn3HxZ3bXourkFzDCqZbcfelDKKwRxRxEcST0lVmFPE-EzYglT5zc01UguCVgIZ0Oo70sphYJYJIyewXY4SKbgm6ey5mLb9LHODvLP4pZToP8/s320/Screenshot+%252878%2529.png&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;And with that, my streak continued. I was playing mostly a mix of Xbox One and Xbox 360 games, but I also branched out when I discovered some Windows 8 puzzle games offered easy achievements. Now I was working on three fronts to develop a roadmap that would carry me towards 365 continuous days of achievement popping.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;And then came camping.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;We never went anywhere far--being in the Pacific Northwest, you only have to drive about 30 minutes in any direction to start finding suitable camping sites. This year, as with most years, we would be heading up Stevens Pass, a winding road littered with small towns and campgrounds. We planned to head up the morning of Thursday, July 17, and return that Sunday. I knew I could pop easy achievements before leaving Thursday and after returning Sunday, so I only had the two days in between to worry about.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;There was no way my mom would let me bring my laptop, and even if I could I wouldn&#39;t be able to get an internet connection. For the briefest of moments, I considered having someone else log into my account and trigger something I&#39;d already set up, but that wouldn&#39;t have sat right with me. Better to fail honestly than succeed unfairly.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;So. No Xboxes. No laptop. No cheating. What was left?&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjolDs9Yx8cMxjgpOIZhpJLoGCMYoondbZCk3mfS7B8IodMdLDRTioIFjm2CncLP_GxCFZ2HXNLX-XVg9H88js9IS5cNkP3LwjAYrhzCvN3SdSGHLPeYW99_bGEBjuLkZ2Vntx2itTyrrk/s755/Screenshot+%252866%25292.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;755&quot; data-original-width=&quot;396&quot; height=&quot;640&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjolDs9Yx8cMxjgpOIZhpJLoGCMYoondbZCk3mfS7B8IodMdLDRTioIFjm2CncLP_GxCFZ2HXNLX-XVg9H88js9IS5cNkP3LwjAYrhzCvN3SdSGHLPeYW99_bGEBjuLkZ2Vntx2itTyrrk/w336-h640/Screenshot+%252866%25292.png&quot; width=&quot;336&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;So, it turns out that Microsoft has published a small handful of games available on Android devices, meaning as long as I could get a strong enough data signal for even a few minutes a day during my camping trip, I could take a sneaky trip away from my mom, pop a single achievement, and she&#39;d be none the wiser.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;But there&#39;s a problem with this list. Well, two. The first is fairly obvious: a couple of these titles are listed for platforms that &lt;i&gt;aren&#39;t&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;mobile phones--VR and Kindle, for example. The second is that I pulled this list in 2020, so some of these titles wouldn&#39;t have been options for me in summer 2014. With that in mind, let&#39;s look at what options I actually had:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2A2rE0vhbyvO_3pH2GgnrXf2OEjeqvTgAyzTxnbK9tWF2qhprWibpLiM8oorB1rn0JnyPhpow1m8yIRdP7pGpZ5d_6zQXpM-eeBDWBqcw8zkl3tXk0cgpZLuO1M6IGR4dvrBMiGec0No/s755/Screenshot+%252866%25293.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;755&quot; data-original-width=&quot;396&quot; height=&quot;640&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2A2rE0vhbyvO_3pH2GgnrXf2OEjeqvTgAyzTxnbK9tWF2qhprWibpLiM8oorB1rn0JnyPhpow1m8yIRdP7pGpZ5d_6zQXpM-eeBDWBqcw8zkl3tXk0cgpZLuO1M6IGR4dvrBMiGec0No/w336-h640/Screenshot+%252866%25293.png&quot; width=&quot;336&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Alright, now let&#39;s take a look at TrueAchievements&#39;s estimated completion times for our two contenders.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpYz5bekM0ojhxBI47veCGR7g2WGYmhLVSKD-LY7s_6PC79uOVxLGI04VRmNkw6iXTpxZXGYe2gwY9g8X_qME1gvlgP3GOS3kYUdMz1ImY0x0lBQa7g5KWlyet8VhVs33NJIKYjcAK0XM/s500/Screenshot+%252866%25294.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;125&quot; data-original-width=&quot;500&quot; height=&quot;160&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpYz5bekM0ojhxBI47veCGR7g2WGYmhLVSKD-LY7s_6PC79uOVxLGI04VRmNkw6iXTpxZXGYe2gwY9g8X_qME1gvlgP3GOS3kYUdMz1ImY0x0lBQa7g5KWlyet8VhVs33NJIKYjcAK0XM/w640-h160/Screenshot+%252866%25294.png&quot; width=&quot;640&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;The choice wasn&#39;t hard.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;After staying up until after two in the morning playing &lt;i&gt;Payday 2&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;to get my Thursday achievement, I made sure &lt;i&gt;Wordament&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;was downloaded to my phone and rested up for the trip. My cousin and his girlfriend arrived at our house late that morning, and we were on the road by noon. As we ascended the pass, I kept an eye on my phone&#39;s service bars, willing them to stay strong as we neared the campground. Things were fine as we passed through the last small town before our turnoff, but soon the evergreen canopy thickened around us and I saw my data bars shrink to nothing. Cell service, sure, but no data at all.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;As we unpacked and settled in, I was of two minds. Part of me was coming to terms with the end of my streak on day 160--leagues ahead of my original goal but less than halfway to a full year. The other part of me was trying frantically to devise some way to still keep the streak alive. Maybe somewhere on one of the trails was a pocket where I could get &lt;i&gt;juuust&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;enough data?&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Maybe I &lt;i&gt;was&lt;/i&gt; actually enough of a cheater to have a friend log into my account and pop something for me?&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Nope.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Somehow, my solution was even worse than that.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;It turns out that, despite having been camping annually for well over a decade, we still had yet to figure out the right amount of supplies to bring--things like perishable food, firewood, ice for the coolers. While we would certainly have been able to survive with what we brought, I used it as a way to leverage my dad into making a trip down to the nearest grocery store on Friday.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;And again on Saturday.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I sunk a knife deep into both my dad&#39;s and my relaxing outdoor time just to drive down a winding gravel road to the nearest sign of civilization, where there was barely enough data service for me to pop a single easy achievement in the deli aisle of a grocery chain before heading back to camp. Even though these trips to town were &quot;only&quot; an hour or so, going from tree-filtered sunlight and river burbles to fluorescent bulbs and contemporary pop completely took me out of the camping mindset. It was a tonal whiplash that I should have expected, but didn&#39;t.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Returning to camp should have been the solution, but it was like a switch had flipped in my brain and jammed itself in place. Suddenly camping was no longer a getaway for me. It was a setback, something to endure until I could be back at home, controller in hand.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;This was the year that I began mapping out the timeline of the camping trips, thinking about how many hours could be burned playing specific card games, actively looking forward to nightfall so I could go to sleep and fast forward eight hours, putting me that much closer to the return trip. Even once I stopped trying for achievement streaks, I retained this way of thinking, and no matter how much I enjoyed subsequent trips, I would always be aware in the back of my mind of how much longer I&#39;d have to wait until I could go home.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;And it all started with playing &lt;i&gt;Wordament&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;in a remote grocery store.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Not only was I breaking my mom&#39;s longstanding &quot;no phones&quot; rule, I was doing it in likely the most egregious way possible. I think by this point she knew it was a rule that was on its way out, especially since she herself was becoming more invested in social media, but I wish I could have given up my arbitrary quest to preserve the blissful simplicity of our camping trips just a bit longer.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;When we got back home on Sunday, I helped unload the camping equipment, took a much-needed shower, and hopped onto my Xbox 360 to play some &lt;i&gt;Halo&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;with a friend. I popped five achievements no problem and, while still guilty about the way I had to do it, pleased that I had kept my streak alive.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Not long after this, I realized that karma had played me like a fiddle.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;This is my overall achievement log surrounding the 2014 camping trip:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRJ9_dAVMk7ocSGNBAGpTwMFE-OqqhmjdFqx2nOvY3OvnDw3iUGU803bXvrK4Y_4uG58EB_gxR0wQPTAnCPLZNu4CTg_T6_6kjT-7DevsqvgGtoI4kHe4tTRbja6671meuNvECsfHxSEQ/s329/Screenshot+%252868%25292.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;329&quot; data-original-width=&quot;310&quot; height=&quot;320&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRJ9_dAVMk7ocSGNBAGpTwMFE-OqqhmjdFqx2nOvY3OvnDw3iUGU803bXvrK4Y_4uG58EB_gxR0wQPTAnCPLZNu4CTg_T6_6kjT-7DevsqvgGtoI4kHe4tTRbja6671meuNvECsfHxSEQ/s320/Screenshot+%252868%25292.png&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Remember how I said I needed to be connected to the internet for achievements to unlock? That&#39;s because streaks on TrueAchievements are based on timestamps that are only created when an achievement is unlocked while online. Offline achievements will eventually sync with your account, but they will lack a timestamp and therefore not count towards a streak.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;So those two &lt;i&gt;Wordament&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;achievements with &quot;offline&quot; next to them? Those are the ones I popped while camping. And, after all that work, they &lt;i&gt;didn&#39;t count &lt;/i&gt;towards the streak.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;What&#39;s more, the achievements unlocking offline has nothing to do with my spotty data connection or anything. It&#39;s because the game itself just flat-out doesn&#39;t provide timestamps. It&#39;s one of just nine games with that quirk.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTijpb47JxRpith1NuA6IZdSqCSnlEK7cVCw92Io3lFQZjK8BZ5DqpKmeEIW0YkBv5UazW223-Lc6CuQZs4oJ1S6Dga26PjR0ngcAs6lwkTb5JKaUuOgil3vlIz7VKkhtv1PaL8dkvGgw/s680/Screenshot+%252869%2529.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;680&quot; data-original-width=&quot;492&quot; height=&quot;640&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTijpb47JxRpith1NuA6IZdSqCSnlEK7cVCw92Io3lFQZjK8BZ5DqpKmeEIW0YkBv5UazW223-Lc6CuQZs4oJ1S6Dga26PjR0ngcAs6lwkTb5JKaUuOgil3vlIz7VKkhtv1PaL8dkvGgw/w464-h640/Screenshot+%252869%2529.png&quot; width=&quot;464&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;div&gt;Note that the only other Android game available at the time, &lt;i&gt;Wordament Snap Attack&lt;/i&gt;, is also on the list, so neither option would have worked. And so, according to TrueAchievements, my streak ended on day 160, with my late-night gaming session in the early hours of July 17.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Now, &lt;i&gt;technically&lt;/i&gt;, I hadn&#39;t failed. I was still gaining at least one achievement every day. I actually continued to do so after I got home, all the way until November 16, 2014, resulting in a second streak of 120 days. In fact, those two streaks remain my longest on the site.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM6OSdBgc7gmM8Rk77USq04h3_11QOgPHqf13EbtsofLl0zvX89DDfvQLeC-F_9aa2Q4ef2-5uBS13WUvTj08bhzuIdIzRffbYB16ebM1pK-CRtImZ6WWXPFF_NXlBLYMeezM2Oiul7_A/s441/Screenshot+%252877%2529.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;441&quot; data-original-width=&quot;353&quot; height=&quot;400&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM6OSdBgc7gmM8Rk77USq04h3_11QOgPHqf13EbtsofLl0zvX89DDfvQLeC-F_9aa2Q4ef2-5uBS13WUvTj08bhzuIdIzRffbYB16ebM1pK-CRtImZ6WWXPFF_NXlBLYMeezM2Oiul7_A/w320-h400/Screenshot+%252877%2529.png&quot; width=&quot;320&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;div&gt;But according to TrueAchievements, the site that had become my new source of approval and motivation in the gaming world, all I had were two streaks of little merit separated by a pair of offline achievements representing the time I prevented myself from enjoying a once-a-year family tradition.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Technically, &lt;i&gt;technically&lt;/i&gt;, I went 282 consecutive days, but the site doesn&#39;t reflect that. I earned 1,370 achievements for a total of 30,245 Gamerscore. But, as I mentioned in my last post, Gamerscore has no inherent value.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I ruined camping for nothing.&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://nothingsuitsme.blogspot.com/feeds/8809245077183465241/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://nothingsuitsme.blogspot.com/2020/12/how-i-ruined-camping-with-achievements.html#comment-form' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/2748984712934822405/posts/default/8809245077183465241'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/2748984712934822405/posts/default/8809245077183465241'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://nothingsuitsme.blogspot.com/2020/12/how-i-ruined-camping-with-achievements.html' title='How I Ruined Camping With Achievements'/><author><name>Haunshaul</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/14345594236643362563</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKIug5hCcmEiaks0br9eEBM7E6ZSUkbpCkyInjf2bRP4m76xl8BkJDzvBy7NsNaae_kQ0B_vBsgsr0iN6ClFAjEoLRFcsefED50zpjxSFRt4kW214VX7eMiC5GPLsenkLdvwYxWZJz-VE/s72-w400-h283-c/2000px-MaslowsHierarchyOfNeeds.svg.png" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2748984712934822405.post-243272037197355742</id><published>2020-12-01T10:25:00.002-08:00</published><updated>2022-01-23T01:02:01.210-08:00</updated><title type='text'>How I Ruined Video Games</title><content type='html'>About seven years ago, I accidentally ruined video games for myself forever.&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;It was about a week before the Xbox One released, and I&#39;d decided I wanted to start the new console generation off with exactly 36,000 Gamerscore. For those of you who don&#39;t know, Gamerscore is a cumulative points system given to players who complete achievements in Xbox games. You typically earn Gamerscore by doing things like completing a game&#39;s story, finding secret collectibles, or ranking up in online multiplayer. On an Xbox profile, it looks like this:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5LPxCoUJ29eK89MGx4KjfqjDiMh_naG_EG6tOWdA-FBxw3Yx0uu-NvQjNM_TVUhzXx_f4atEv7m3rfUE9_tjIoSHcMp9PE-psWOXgfj69f_vWaMRa5BI3J2AshuaAI8Jfu8cKOXB6pPM/s2218/IMG_20150911_220545_574.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;413&quot; data-original-width=&quot;2218&quot; height=&quot;75&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5LPxCoUJ29eK89MGx4KjfqjDiMh_naG_EG6tOWdA-FBxw3Yx0uu-NvQjNM_TVUhzXx_f4atEv7m3rfUE9_tjIoSHcMp9PE-psWOXgfj69f_vWaMRa5BI3J2AshuaAI8Jfu8cKOXB6pPM/w400-h75/IMG_20150911_220545_574.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;However, many achievements are tied to doing activities that most players would never have done otherwise, such as completing a game without ever dying, or finishing a task with a specific optional character. Gamerscore is pretty much the only incentive to do these challenges, which are often frustrating, convoluted, or time-intensive. But Gamerscore is, in itself, completely meaningless and not worth anyone&#39;s time--there are no in-game rewards, no monetary payoffs, nothing.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;Basically, it only exists for people who like to watch the numbers go up.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I wanted to be sitting at exactly 36,000 Gamerscore--no more, no less, and for no reason besides it feeling like a poetic ending to the Xbox 360 era. To make sure I hit this arbitrary number by my arbitrary deadline, I compiled all the achievement and Gamerscore data for every game I had into a spreadsheet creatively named &quot;Achievements and Gamerscore&quot;.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;It wasn&#39;t meant to be impressive or clever. I just wanted to save myself the trouble of navigating the Xbox menus each time I wanted to check my progress. Reaching exactly 36,000 Gamerscore by November 22nd meant I needed to pay attention to how much each achievement was worth to ensure I didn&#39;t overshoot my goal, or put myself in a situation where the only options left for me were huge time sinks. I was still in college at the time, and this wasn&#39;t something I was going to dedicate any more time to than necessary.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;The spreadsheet itself is an absolute eyesore. The colors are gaudy, the formatting wouldn&#39;t be out of place on the Time Cube website, and the few formulas present are so inefficient as to make my programming friend have to physically restrain herself from editing them behind my back (which I caught her doing multiple times).&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI08-JGprvqK59q7CY5Lon4g0XB5CtnP8YQiI887YDHeLSaxOhSAzktoMgH_8ZC-Pmg0-YkRkkX-wGynFULYI_SAp5JsqENszJfM8g5rtlcrB-C8nv94F8TVW3oalDgppAwU3l2XOt0hE/s1422/Screenshot+%252859%2529.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;625&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1422&quot; height=&quot;282&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI08-JGprvqK59q7CY5Lon4g0XB5CtnP8YQiI887YDHeLSaxOhSAzktoMgH_8ZC-Pmg0-YkRkkX-wGynFULYI_SAp5JsqENszJfM8g5rtlcrB-C8nv94F8TVW3oalDgppAwU3l2XOt0hE/w640-h282/Screenshot+%252859%2529.png&quot; width=&quot;640&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;You may notice that there&#39;s more information here than strictly how much Gamerscore I have in each game. We&#39;ll get to that.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;With my spreadsheet on hand during both my play sessions and lulls in my lecture courses, I was able to plot out a route to 36,000 Gamerscore, and made it with time to spare. Although the number paled in comparison to many others (just four months later, the one-million Gamerscore barrier would be broken), it was higher than my dad&#39;s Gamerscore, which for years seemed insurmountable. (For those of you who are curious, the achievement that got me to exactly 36,000 was &quot;Blow it up!&quot; in&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;Lego Indiana Jones&lt;/i&gt;.)&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I remember taking a picture to commemorate the occasion and tweeting it out to one of my favorite online gamers in a shameless &quot;notice me senpai&quot; moment.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUrR_c2CPZkcjqnuk6IbluH0zE4d7W67rOTXQ4lZREtZ5J4GOWHD-6vrHh1vinTLxZRApXpexQ4VC9wGjrvrA3uMlkEnMBDb4j9_Y0ye82rYHWhofICOu0rxOJqsjNpuokIwxIbzVscz8/s1921/36000+gamerscore.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;822&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1921&quot; height=&quot;171&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUrR_c2CPZkcjqnuk6IbluH0zE4d7W67rOTXQ4lZREtZ5J4GOWHD-6vrHh1vinTLxZRApXpexQ4VC9wGjrvrA3uMlkEnMBDb4j9_Y0ye82rYHWhofICOu0rxOJqsjNpuokIwxIbzVscz8/w400-h171/36000+gamerscore.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;He never responded.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;On November 22, I got my Xbox One (which I eventually nicknamed Anna after seeing Disney&#39;s &lt;i&gt;Frozen &lt;/i&gt;five times in theatres) and a copy of &lt;i&gt;Dead Rising 3&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;to ring in the new console generation. My goal of exactly 36,000 Gamerscore achieved, I booted up a new zombie wasteland to explore, eager to return to a life of unrestricted gaming.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;But something had changed.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I don&#39;t know if my spreadsheet is to blame, or if it was just the catalyst for a condition that had been simmering in my psyche for years, but it didn&#39;t work anymore to just&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;play. &lt;/i&gt;The game--the mechanics, the story, all the loving artistry--was no longer the point.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;The point was making the numbers go up.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I viewed &lt;i&gt;Dead Rising 3&lt;/i&gt;, and every game after, as a means to an end. Sure, I would only select games that I actually wanted to spend time in, but the journey no longer held the same weight it once did. It was the destination--an increasing Gamerscore--that mattered. And so my gaming priorities changed. I tried to find the most expedient routes to gaining every achievement in a game, even if it meant making the process less fun for myself--things like immediately jumping into a game&#39;s hardest difficulty, or making character choices that directly contradicted how I&#39;d been playing them previously.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;This actually caused some severe conflict in me for a few games, because suddenly it wasn&#39;t enough to just make my cumulative Gamerscore as large as possible. You see, starting a new game is almost always a surefire way to snag some easy Gamerscore, but it tanks your overall completion percentage. No, the&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;best&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;way to improve your Gamerscore is to tidy up those last few pesky achievements in games that you&#39;ve already had your fill of, which means playing them in ways and for lengths of time that permanently sour your perception of them.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Example: In &lt;i&gt;Fable III&lt;/i&gt;, I made a point of keeping my character, among other things, morally good and romantically single. Now I was suddenly expected to get married six times and murder two of my spouses just for a ten-Gamerscore achievement called &quot;Henry VIII&quot;? What was more important--keeping my Hero&#39;s story narratively consistent, or being economic with my time and avoiding a second playthrough for this one achievement? I eventually deemed my time more valuable, though I still wonder if that was the right choice.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhxANVeZZsu6QSsWoHIAiZZcZMwPI84uTtJI8G21bmiiaTGi3N-a37YjFhJcH-SYIMikwr45Wxja0yk-Ib4M3Qf4idtsKE1bpxNgPkIB8lJ_GmLJkcx3LQcRJoUsyhJw2FT1wW2MAn5Do/s850/henry+acheivement.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;474&quot; data-original-width=&quot;850&quot; height=&quot;357&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhxANVeZZsu6QSsWoHIAiZZcZMwPI84uTtJI8G21bmiiaTGi3N-a37YjFhJcH-SYIMikwr45Wxja0yk-Ib4M3Qf4idtsKE1bpxNgPkIB8lJ_GmLJkcx3LQcRJoUsyhJw2FT1wW2MAn5Do/w640-h357/henry+acheivement.jpg&quot; width=&quot;640&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;div&gt;I asked myself these sorts of questions more frequently as I realized what would need to be done to properly finish some of the games I&#39;d started over the last eight years. You can&#39;t just keep buying new games without completing your old ones if you want to aim for those lofty completion percentages.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div&gt;And, when you&amp;nbsp;&lt;i&gt;do&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;decide it&#39;s time to jump into a new game? Well, you&#39;ve gotta check the achievement list and make sure it&#39;s something you can reasonably perfect. You wouldn&#39;t want to play something you can only get to 60% completion in, right? That would be terrible for your ratio. Would this lock me out of experiencing certain games forever? Sure, but it was a small price to pay to make sure my numbers stayed pretty.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWNXz-sq57_D_iUGT409he_oj2uBDIr8XewAYCnxolUryhKzYPGGzcs7fA6yQwPPoMI_8vWmBYRXdQ4DaYokH3iSu2cngkz46Fw1LQicWYr4EDSm6CpR4w26yg-_OKPokkps76ytLIJGc/s1714/editPXL_20201129_220212376.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;1714&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1396&quot; height=&quot;320&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWNXz-sq57_D_iUGT409he_oj2uBDIr8XewAYCnxolUryhKzYPGGzcs7fA6yQwPPoMI_8vWmBYRXdQ4DaYokH3iSu2cngkz46Fw1LQicWYr4EDSm6CpR4w26yg-_OKPokkps76ytLIJGc/s320/editPXL_20201129_220212376.jpg&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;See what an aesthetic insult that is? An elegant cascade of completion &lt;i&gt;devastated&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;by one elusive achievement. This is the sort of situation I now wanted to avoid as much as possible.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;background-color: red;&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;background-color: white;&quot;&gt;And&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;i&gt;Dead Rising 3&lt;/i&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;background-color: white;&quot;&gt;? The poor thing became one of the most despised games in my library due to its comprehensive and exhausting achievement list. Although it was the only Xbox One game I owned on launch day, I quickly found myself regressing to my 360 games, where I could more quickly advance my new obsession.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;background-color: white;&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;It was during this shift in my gaming habits that my &quot;Achievements and Gamerscore&quot; spreadsheet ballooned into what you saw earlier. And since I was compiling all this data for each game anyways, I thought it would be fun to add things like release dates, platforms, and total amount of downloadable content, just to get a more complete profile of my gaming library.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuGI5W0faPleEeDx64F6cED8q2N7C3zepY6oLbukZqq1KVq_vOo6IhzW6AsQTbmgiXRm1BrY-Y2kVcqv7Cs4JlxOZ_c4sU-k8skpCbQSpdYU0B3RUJy3X4RSQxI0OwsnNEYCzTMTWK1eM/s1156/Screenshot+%252862%2529.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;595&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1156&quot; height=&quot;330&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuGI5W0faPleEeDx64F6cED8q2N7C3zepY6oLbukZqq1KVq_vOo6IhzW6AsQTbmgiXRm1BrY-Y2kVcqv7Cs4JlxOZ_c4sU-k8skpCbQSpdYU0B3RUJy3X4RSQxI0OwsnNEYCzTMTWK1eM/w640-h330/Screenshot+%252862%2529.png&quot; width=&quot;640&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;And this is where the spreadsheet became more than just a tool for reaching a new, endless arbitrary goal.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div&gt;It became a way to keep track of my life.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Eventually, I began to obsess over spreadsheets--not just the one tracking my Xbox achievements, but ones for dozens of other topics. They would slowly invade almost every aspect of my daily life, reducing my every established hobby and passing interest into a network of data boxes. I found myself using this information to not just track things, but define them. I found ways to calculate success and failure in things that had no end goals to begin with. Everything in my life found its way in some fashion into a neat row or column.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;But before that happened, there were years of manic scrambling to increase my Gamerscore, and I put myself through hell on more than one occasion for the sole purpose of hearing that sweet, rapturous sound of an achievement unlocking:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3jHjcNhoASWaE5ty0kLCLDDrofUfAxRXwOkas7kYLug6chrEFOQrPAuFwt0wakEM_X1fNAdqzJHEynPaWrDtnn7aPNfVx5VJUEqi3l0du3KODbwKBDb0l_ha2hSo5KiZv4iW3rWZV8Ek/s333/BleepBloop.png&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;98&quot; data-original-width=&quot;333&quot; height=&quot;118&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3jHjcNhoASWaE5ty0kLCLDDrofUfAxRXwOkas7kYLug6chrEFOQrPAuFwt0wakEM_X1fNAdqzJHEynPaWrDtnn7aPNfVx5VJUEqi3l0du3KODbwKBDb0l_ha2hSo5KiZv4iW3rWZV8Ek/w400-h118/BleepBloop.png&quot; width=&quot;400&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: left;&quot;&gt;But those are stories for another time.&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://nothingsuitsme.blogspot.com/feeds/243272037197355742/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://nothingsuitsme.blogspot.com/2020/12/how-i-ruined-video-games.html#comment-form' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/2748984712934822405/posts/default/243272037197355742'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/2748984712934822405/posts/default/243272037197355742'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://nothingsuitsme.blogspot.com/2020/12/how-i-ruined-video-games.html' title='How I Ruined Video Games'/><author><name>Haunshaul</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/14345594236643362563</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5LPxCoUJ29eK89MGx4KjfqjDiMh_naG_EG6tOWdA-FBxw3Yx0uu-NvQjNM_TVUhzXx_f4atEv7m3rfUE9_tjIoSHcMp9PE-psWOXgfj69f_vWaMRa5BI3J2AshuaAI8Jfu8cKOXB6pPM/s72-w400-h75-c/IMG_20150911_220545_574.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry></feed>

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