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<br /><underline>She Cooked</underline><br>
<?xml version='1.0' encoding='UTF-8'?><?xml-stylesheet href="http://www.blogger.com/styles/atom.css" type="text/css"?><feed xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom' xmlns:openSearch='http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearchrss/1.0/' xmlns:blogger='http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008' xmlns:georss='http://www.georss.org/georss' xmlns:gd="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005" xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399</id><updated>2024-03-07T23:56:52.284-05:00</updated><title type='text'>RAMBLINGS</title><subtitle type='html'>..of a Bipolar Girl</subtitle><link rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#feed' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default?alt=atom'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/'/><link rel='hub' href='http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/'/><link rel='next' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default?alt=atom&start-index=26&max-results=25'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><generator version='7.00' uri='http://www.blogger.com'>Blogger</generator><openSearch:totalResults>264</openSearch:totalResults><openSearch:startIndex>1</openSearch:startIndex><openSearch:itemsPerPage>25</openSearch:itemsPerPage><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-3759506425123891762</id><published>2008-02-25T08:47:00.002-05:00</published><updated>2008-02-25T08:50:45.551-05:00</updated><title type='text'>REDIRECTION TO A NEW SITE</title><content type='html'>HEY GUYS ITS BEEN FOREVER SINCE I BEEN HERE HASN'T IT!!!??<br /><br />well I decided to keep this one blog up mostly for personal purposes so i can go back and look at things and so i can comment on other people's blogger blogs (some people has it set up where u have to have a blogger account to comment)<br /><br />WELL anyway I would really love it if you would turn any attention this blog is getting to my new and improved site!! WOOHOO i think its very cool and YES I designed the templete all by my wittle self!! WOOHOO. :D<br /><br />so go to: http://www.mizzcrystal.squarespace.com THE TITLE here should also link up to that site :D<br /><br /><br />Goodbye to the old and on with the new!!! :D</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/3759506425123891762/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=3759506425123891762&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/3759506425123891762'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/3759506425123891762'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2008/02/redirection-to-new-site.html' title='REDIRECTION TO A NEW SITE'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-113051895857864787</id><published>2005-10-28T13:01:00.000-04:00</published><updated>2005-10-28T13:02:38.590-04:00</updated><title type='text'>Goodbye to this URL</title><content type='html'>Okay, I've been having some problems adding my site to ringsurf..so in hopes of getting rid of the problem i have to make a new site, and sorta start over...so please click <a href="http://blucrystal.blogspot.com">HERE</a> for my NEW SITE ;)</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/113051895857864787/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=113051895857864787&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/113051895857864787'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/113051895857864787'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/10/goodbye-to-this-url.html' title='Goodbye to this URL'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-113043194700352580</id><published>2005-10-27T12:49:00.000-04:00</published><updated>2005-10-27T12:52:27.013-04:00</updated><title type='text'>PILLS, Yummy Pills</title><content type='html'>Not in a good mood at all...Everything is Shit. <br />I took 1.5 mg of ativan last night along with .50 of xanex and 50 mg of serquel...<br />my hope for this was i would just fall into some sorta coma...it didn't work...i was up at 7 am. SHIT. I guess it wasn't enough but i fell asleep before i could go for more.<br />so now i'm depressed and pissed.<br />No one bother me today..not in the mood to HEAR from ANYONE....<br /><br />i dont know if i'm depressed or what but my mind is fuzzy right now.</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/113043194700352580/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=113043194700352580&isPopup=true' title='1 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/113043194700352580'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/113043194700352580'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/10/pills-yummy-pills.html' title='PILLS, Yummy Pills'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>1</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-113024186712098764</id><published>2005-10-25T07:59:00.000-04:00</published><updated>2005-10-25T08:04:27.126-04:00</updated><title type='text'>Fuzzy Thoughts....</title><content type='html'>I'm really liking this yahoo 360 thing. I just wish i had more friends on it...If you have yahoo 360 feel free to add me my yahoo id is alwayz_blu. I have a lot of things to do today. I need to go get my blood work done for my medication check. I haven't done that yet and its been 2 weeks already!! SHH please dont tell anyone..<br />I have had a lot on my mind lately, and have very little time to really put any thought into my "friends or family"..sorry if it seems i have been ignoring you IRL. i haven't. Just a lot in my head, a lot of fuzzy thoughts i'm trying to keep straight. (david,sarah,stef i hope you understand)..Being on the computer is the only thing that gets my mind off my problems and I dont think about much anything while i'm on it..its sorta my "escape" I guess. I'm such a Internet Junkie. *LOL*<br /><br />Love everyone!!<br /><br />"alwayz_blu"</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/113024186712098764/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=113024186712098764&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/113024186712098764'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/113024186712098764'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/10/fuzzy-thoughts.html' title='Fuzzy Thoughts....'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-113015653449047712</id><published>2005-10-24T08:16:00.000-04:00</published><updated>2005-10-24T08:22:14.496-04:00</updated><title type='text'>Teacher's Workday</title><content type='html'>Well, alot has been going through my mind lately and I decided to Go back to the Generic layouts..Its a nice change of pace anyway.With that, I did away with Haloscan for my commenting needs and just went with blogger's comments. <br><br />I feel so bad today I sent my son off to school only to have him come back and say, Today is a teacher's workday! *LOL* i tottally forgot about teacher's workday. I was so looking for a good nap and just have a day with me and Austin. (Tre is still with my mom for now because the kids fight so bad, and I really can't handle them when they are like that)<br><br />The only thing I got for my birthday was a bottle of Avon Perfume from my mom, I forgot the name of it because I am lazy and its in the other room. ;) anyways everyone have a wonderful day!</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/113015653449047712/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=113015653449047712&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/113015653449047712'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/113015653449047712'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/10/teachers-workday.html' title='Teacher's Workday'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-112991855198504177</id><published>2005-10-21T14:08:00.000-04:00</published><updated>2005-10-21T14:15:51.990-04:00</updated><title type='text'></title><content type='html'>HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! <br /><br />Well I guess my son's surgery went okay, I had to leave early and let my mom stay there because My oldest son is getting out of school soon. It was so difficult to get his clothes off and that hospital gown on. They had cars, dinosours and power rangers for him and his twin brother to play with while they were putting on his bracelets, giving him some meds to relax him while we wait...and wait..*lol*<br />finally! they came and got him and carried him off to the O.R.<br /><br />So we will see. :D<br /><br />no Birthday plans for me. I guess thats normal as you get older.</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/112991855198504177/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=112991855198504177&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/112991855198504177'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/112991855198504177'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/10/happy-birthday-to-me-well-i-guess-my.html' title=''/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-112984848842498536</id><published>2005-10-20T18:37:00.000-04:00</published><updated>2005-10-20T18:48:08.430-04:00</updated><title type='text'>20 things about meme</title><content type='html'><center>Here is my 20 Things about meme<br></center><br><br />1. I have bipolar disorder with anxiety<br />2. I have been in a mental institution two times this year.<br />3. I have 3 beautiful boys.<br />4. I'm also a single parent.<br />5. I'm a bad speller<br />6. Yet, I love Poetry and write poetry often.<br />7. If you know my whole name you could look me up on Poetry.com<br />8. My life is an open book.<br />9. I do have a few secrets thats hidden away.<br />10. I love it when its dark outside.<br />11. October is my favorite month<br />12. My Birthday is on the 21st of October.<br />13. My Favorite color is Pink<br />14. I listen to all kinds of music<br />15. I'm addicted to the internet<br />16. I'm single because I choose to be.<br />17. My medicine makes me sleep alot<br />18. My parents still won't let me grow up<br />19. I'm a recovering alcoholic<br />20. There is a nat flying around my computer screen.</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/112984848842498536/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=112984848842498536&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/112984848842498536'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/112984848842498536'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/10/20-things-about-meme.html' title='20 things about meme'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-112980677168886060</id><published>2005-10-20T07:07:00.000-04:00</published><updated>2005-10-20T07:14:57.986-04:00</updated><title type='text'>nintendo dreams</title><content type='html'>Good Morning,!<br />I woke up at 6:40 AM this morning to the sounds of my son-shine playing his Nintendo game in his room and he was already on World 4 of Super Mario 3!!!..I bought him the "regular nintendo" for his room and I told him once he gets profecient with that and takes care of it would i buy him either a game cube or PS2 but not until then...well I dunno what to do now, He is playing TOO much. I think he dreams Mario bros. *lol*<br />I really can't say nothin' when i was just a few years older than him, I did the same thing but I NEVER played like this on a school night.<br />I'm thinkin i should just take the nintendo out of his room every night..its not that hard its like 2 plugs to be unpluged from the machine.</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/112980677168886060/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=112980677168886060&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/112980677168886060'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/112980677168886060'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/10/nintendo-dreams.html' title='nintendo dreams'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-112967194017468854</id><published>2005-10-18T17:42:00.000-04:00</published><updated>2005-10-18T17:45:40.180-04:00</updated><title type='text'>say cheese Skinny kids.</title><content type='html'>Jane, Thanks for the advice actually i found a size for my 6 year old its a 4 slim!!! *LOL* yes he is SKINNY..Just gotta find the rightsize for my 3 year old skinny lil monster he is *LOL*<br />his twin tho. can fit perfectly in size 3's and can even get into a 4t. (go figure)<br /><br />I think I know what i'm going to save up for next.....I want a digital camara..I love taking pictures ;D and i would love to take pics of my lil munsters for yall to see.<br />i mean i have some on my fliker acct. but those are a little old. its time for new pics of the kiddos and different things. :D</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/112967194017468854/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=112967194017468854&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/112967194017468854'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/112967194017468854'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/10/say-cheese-skinny-kids.html' title='say cheese Skinny kids.'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-112955887775409195</id><published>2005-10-17T10:18:00.000-04:00</published><updated>2005-10-17T10:21:17.760-04:00</updated><title type='text'>Skinny kids</title><content type='html'>Question: Is there a place where they sell Clothes for Toddlers and Small Children that are Really small in the waist, yet long for their age? for example, here is my problem. 2 of my children are really skinny my 6 year old can fit into a 3T but its pants aren't long enough. My 3 year old can wear 18-month clothes but yet the same problem b/c they are both on the tall side yet they are skinny....Where would be the best place for me to buy clothes for them, i'm at the point where i'm willing to spend a little extra money for their clothes......HELP!</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/112955887775409195/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=112955887775409195&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/112955887775409195'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/112955887775409195'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/10/skinny-kids.html' title='Skinny kids'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-112943636366241323</id><published>2005-10-16T00:12:00.000-04:00</published><updated>2005-10-16T00:19:24.090-04:00</updated><title type='text'>my children.....and eye surgery</title><content type='html'>I love my kids. I didn't realize how much i loved all 3 of them until this weekend. I've spent time away from Austin before but for some reason. I miss him more now than i ever have. I think I have finally started bonding with him. He is a lot like me. He even looks like my family while the other 2 looks like their father's family...<br /><br />anyway,<br />I have adjusted my dosage, my dr. said it would be fine if it works for me..I don't take my A.M. drugs in the A.M. exactly I don't take them until around noon..that way the other medicine is well out of my system. I take my night meds around 9 or so. and I took zoloft tonight for the first time, I had been debating on whether to start it at night or morning but i remember how it made me loose my appitite so much before i barely even drank any fluids so i figure if i take it at night that way for the most part I would be asleep during the worst part of that symptom. I'm pretty educated when it comes to taking medications..if it is something I don't know I am quick to look it up. <br /><br />Next Friday is my birthday! But I may not be able to celebrate cuz my lil baby boy Tre has to go get eye surgery done on that day, I just hope everything goes okay.</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/112943636366241323/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=112943636366241323&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/112943636366241323'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/112943636366241323'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/10/my-childrenand-eye-surgery.html' title='my children.....and eye surgery'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-112936125410992045</id><published>2005-10-15T03:24:00.000-04:00</published><updated>2005-10-15T03:27:34.110-04:00</updated><title type='text'>sleep deprived thoughts</title><content type='html'>Parents finally going out for their anniversary, they are headed out of town.<br />Me and my neace is slowly talking but its going to take a lot for her to win my trust back.<br /><br /><br />I need to slow down on the caffine maybe then I'll be able to pull myself away from the computer long enough to get some descent sleep...? aaaahhh, maybe not! <br /><br />6 more days till my birthday!</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/112936125410992045/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=112936125410992045&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/112936125410992045'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/112936125410992045'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/10/sleep-deprived-thoughts.html' title='sleep deprived thoughts'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-112922059751407617</id><published>2005-10-13T12:15:00.000-04:00</published><updated>2005-10-13T12:23:17.520-04:00</updated><title type='text'>back online again</title><content type='html'>PHEWW! i finally made it back online..for awhile i didn't think i was coming back.<br />with some help from my friends and family here i am back online.<br />over a month ago, i was admitted to the Institute of Pyschiatry Downtown Charleston, SC....i spent a week there because I was so depressed I didn't trust myself and i could barely get out of bed. My dad took me to the hosptial when i started talking about how i felt that i was better off dead.<br />That was the second time I had to be admitted in the hosptial this year, the first time was when i over dosed on Prescription medication.<br />I'm currently taking Tegretol, Seraquel (sp?),Visteral and Zoloft is now being started as soon as i get a way to the pharmacy and some money for my meds....<br /><br />Some particular guys that USE to be part of my life is trying to come back in namely Scott but i won't let it..... he dumped me twice too many and left me lookin like a fool. I may talk to him online but i'm not even going to visit him in person...i can't trust a person like that.<br />actually, i don't want to date anyone...i'm not ready...i have too many problems already brewing that would be adding fuel to the fire....it would be too stressful for me to be in a relationship at this time...ya know.???</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/112922059751407617/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=112922059751407617&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/112922059751407617'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/112922059751407617'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/10/back-online-again.html' title='back online again'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-112129159875488085</id><published>2005-07-13T17:44:00.000-04:00</published><updated>2005-07-13T17:53:18.760-04:00</updated><title type='text'>Everyone left?</title><content type='html'>WTF happened? I am starting to think people are ignorning me and not taking me seriously cuz i made a few "minor" mistakes in my life.<br />all these people on my blogroll that use to leave me the occasional comment hasn't done that in god knows how long..thats okay i am going to....muddle through this and keep on posting..i'm going to try to at least get one good post in a week until i'm back up and online again. <br /><br />The Biggest thing going on locally in my town is, the new bridge....<br />Said to be the LARGEST of its kind in the US. We are having a big fireworks display for it Thursday and I think Friday or Saturday they are going to have the opening ceremony and then it will be ready for US(the public) to Drive over..a lot of people has already walked and ran on the bridge..and there was this big to-do where they had a black tie dinner for 200 bucks a piece and raised like thousands of dollars..i'm not really interested in this..sure i wouldn't mind and would actually love to go across it but the local news is running the idea of it in the ground and now i'm just sick of hearing about it.<br /><br />I almost got electricuted the other day cleaning my house...I turned on the exhaust fan over the stove and it just hummed and then it caught on fire...it was the wire..so i used a paper towel to touch it real fast to hurry up and outten it and i felt a small jolt..enough to scare me is all but my son really freaked out..<br />My oldest son, Dakota is being held back in Kindergarden this year..cuz he can't read and write to well....DAMN..he CAN read and write somewhat but according to the teach not good enough...when i was in kindergarden the main concern was playing and learning the alphabet and your numbers thats as far as we gotten...<br />not in today's world.<br /><br />What else? hmm..<br />Not much else to say, i'm waiting to go back to work..they still haven't called me off of my furlough yet this has been like 5 months now!!!</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/112129159875488085/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=112129159875488085&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/112129159875488085'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/112129159875488085'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/07/everyone-left.html' title='Everyone left?'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-112075562606710450</id><published>2005-07-07T12:51:00.000-04:00</published><updated>2005-07-07T13:00:26.073-04:00</updated><title type='text'>Here it goes:</title><content type='html'>I'm going to try to post some new things in here. its been awhile since my last post and i feel i have neglected my duties as a blogger to all my readers (the 3 i May or May not have *lol*)<br />I am still very clean, i haven't even drank a drop of alcohol in like a month as well as being clean from drugs for like 2 maybe even 3 months. YAY go me!!<br />My brother has my twin Austin and I miss him so much he is my lil guy and i miss him but i don't deserve him, not right now anyway. I've been a bad parent and i know that. I don't deserve him until i can straighten out my life a little bit better.<br />I also have an online diary at http://www.opendiary.com/madnesscalls I hope that link works, there you will find some enteries that just may fill in the blanks here. <br />I have a bad habit of starting something, getting it going and then forgetting about it. its because I dont get much feedback and i'm sure nooone reads these things anyways so i just tend to forget about them.<br />I'm into writing poetry again and have a few good ones since I last left you all.<br /><br />My medication dosage is going okay, because i had been off of my meds for so long starting them up again has made me one agitated human being. I take 1500 mg of depakote a night along with 50 mg of visteral its suppose to help me sleep and help with the anxiety..it helps somewhat w/anxiety but doesn't help me sleep (anymore) at least i'm not breaking out in rashes all over my skin anymore so thats always a good thing.<br />I don't have that many friends...at least right now anyway. i talk to ppl but i hardly hang out with anyone except deb. (debbie is my cousin CJ's wife) CJ is currently incarcerated in the South Carolina State Prision system though he is due to get out in August. I hope so cuz, i know she misses him dearly and im sure he misses her too. <br />There is no new love interest in my life at this time, i've made a few "friends" here and there but thats about it.<br />so on that note i will end this here, please feel free to give me some feedback, it helps motivate me into writing more.<br />more of my boring life from the state of South Carolina..the most backwards state in the whole U.S. of A.<br />*LOL* J/k.</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/112075562606710450/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=112075562606710450&isPopup=true' title='1 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/112075562606710450'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/112075562606710450'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/07/here-it-goes.html' title='Here it goes:'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>1</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-111364420185323226</id><published>2005-04-16T05:28:00.000-04:00</published><updated>2005-04-16T05:36:57.873-04:00</updated><title type='text'>Tina Tina Tina</title><content type='html'>Well This is the place where i'm most honest so here it goes!<br /><br />This past Month or so, Give or take, I have gotten myself addicted to a lil drug...my friend, Crystal...or also known as Speed, Ice,Meth, Tina whatever you want to call it.<br />Its still Methamphetamines. I fell in a love/hate relationship with Tina because When you are using you feel like you can conquor the world, everything that once seemed overwhelming and impossible now became doable..taking my care of my kids was sooo easy and plus i would stay up for days and days at a time and i loved that, anything to keep away my constant nightmares i normally had.<br />The hate part about it is, it was driving a wedge between me and the people closest to me that didn't use drugs, it made me a liar (b/c i was lying about using), it made me cold hearted and thoughtless to others (the people i loved) . Everytime i used was my last time.<br />Finally I woke up one day and said enough was fucking enough!! I have been clean for just about 2 weeks now, tho it doesn't seem like a long space of time but considering i was using 3 sometimmes 4 times a week! i guess i have made improvements, I have went thru tremendous amount of withdraws and it hasn't been an easy road at all!!<br />I may yet still have some problems with the withdraws and im not sure how strong and for how long i will be, but I will give it my all!!!<br /><br />P.S.<br />I think i'm also getting evicted...not sure yet i will know for sure on the 27th.</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/111364420185323226/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=111364420185323226&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/111364420185323226'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/111364420185323226'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/04/tina-tina-tina.html' title='Tina Tina Tina'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-111221449556697411</id><published>2005-03-30T15:20:00.002-05:00</published><updated>2005-03-30T15:28:15.566-05:00</updated><title type='text'>Sorry for my absence</title><content type='html'>Sorry For my absence the last few months.<br />a lot of shit has been happenin' or whatever...<br />a month ago, i tried to kill myself by overdosing,<br />I ended up in the Pysciatric hosptial for awhile..<br />GOD i really hated that place but i met some pretty kick ass people there and some crazy ones too that walked around talking to people who weren't there or hallucinating and thinking they had no head..*lol* it was funny though.<br /><br />and then I have been dealing with a lot of crap with my family, My brother trying to take my boys away from me and such...so the last thing on my mind was internet.<br />;0</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/111221449556697411/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=111221449556697411&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/111221449556697411'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/111221449556697411'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/03/sorry-for-my-absence.html' title='Sorry for my absence'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-111221443375764425</id><published>2005-03-30T15:20:00.001-05:00</published><updated>2005-03-30T15:27:13.756-05:00</updated><title type='text'>Sorry for my absence</title><content type='html'>Sorry For my absence the last few months.<br />a lot of shit has been happenin' or whatever...<br />a month ago, i tried to kill myself by overdosing,<br />I ended up in the Pysciatric hosptial for awhile..<br />GOD i really hated that place but i met some pretty kick ass people there and some crazy ones too that walked around talking to people who weren't there or hallucinating and thinking they had no head..*lol* it was funny though.<br /><br />and then I have been dealing with a lot of crap with my family, My brother trying to take my boys away from me and such...so the last thing on my mind was internet.<br />;0</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/111221443375764425/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=111221443375764425&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/111221443375764425'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/111221443375764425'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/03/sorry-for-my-absence_111221443375764425.html' title='Sorry for my absence'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-111221439760772491</id><published>2005-03-30T15:20:00.000-05:00</published><updated>2005-03-30T15:26:37.606-05:00</updated><title type='text'>Sorry for my absence</title><content type='html'>Sorry For my absence the last few months.<br />a lot of shit has been happenin' or whatever...<br />a month ago, i tried to kill myself by overdosing,<br />I ended up in the Pysciatric hosptial for awhile..<br />GOD i really hated that place but i met some pretty kick ass people there and some crazy ones too that walked around talking to people who weren't there or hallucinating and thinking they had no head..*lol* it was funny though.<br /><br />and then I have been dealing with a lot of crap with my family, My brother trying to take my boys away from me and such...so the last thing on my mind was internet.<br />;0</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/111221439760772491/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=111221439760772491&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/111221439760772491'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/111221439760772491'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/03/sorry-for-my-absence_30.html' title='Sorry for my absence'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-110598173990225076</id><published>2005-01-17T13:05:00.000-05:00</published><updated>2005-01-17T12:08:59.903-05:00</updated><title type='text'></title><content type='html'>i'm happy again!<br />I went out last night, my cuz and friend Kenny took me to club pantheon..and i got tottally trashed. Hell, i was out on the dance floor and i normally don't do that. dancing and me *LMAO* yeah okay.<br />but i didn't care, nor did i care who saw me. It was fun but Chris was very offish last night which was a bummer. I had like 5 drinks, 3 of them being double alchol..haha. so its like i had 8 drinks. <br />I still feel a lil tipsy. Ha.<br />Everyone is gone now. :( my babysitter left with Austin, My mom has my oldest and my cousin left a few minutes ago..so now its just me and tre-tre. I wanna cry, i hate being bored and alone...<br />but yeah im in a better mood..<br />Oh there WILL be pictures and as soon as my cousin gets them developed or whatever they will be posted..haha!<br />;0</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/110598173990225076/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=110598173990225076&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/110598173990225076'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/110598173990225076'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/01/im-happy-again-i-went-out-last-night.html' title=''/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-110515356295501770</id><published>2005-01-07T21:58:00.000-05:00</published><updated>2005-01-07T22:06:02.956-05:00</updated><title type='text'></title><content type='html'>You know I very well could of "went out" tonight..But I'm like all WHY bother!<br />I see no point. I just rather stay in my house and watch some dumb show on TV or Go to bed and enjoy a good nights sleep of peace and quiet and be by myself! I rather do that. And Drink? Not really interested. I don't really want to do anything much right now. My mind is preoccupied about how Life is so fragile and how people are dying all around us and that everyday We are all That much closer to Death! Kind of Sad really!<br />and I'm so tired of Dreaming of People laughing at me and trying to smother me to death! WHY am I Having these Visions!? I don't get it. All I know is it will totally be by God's Grace that I will be alive to see 2006. I just don't see myself living that long and I don't know why all I know is, I don't know and that is scary stuff..The not knowing!<br />I had a vision the other day that I intentionally fell down the stairs at work to try to "end it all" it was kind of scary....My heart started racing and I broke out in a cold sweat at the thought.<br />There has been times in my past where I have blacked out and found myself doing stupid stuff. The last was about 2 years ago or so when I took a cup of clorox and was drinking it when I realized what the hell am I doing!<br />The other ones was when I was a teen and on acutane to clear up my severe acne and I blacked out with a knife to my wrist and oh that happened a few times when I was with my ex as well. WHY does this happen to ME? I guess I'm just pyscotic. Maybe I really need to start taking my medications like I'm suppose to its that sometimes I forget and I have so many to take and I'm not the most organized person in the world, in fact, I'm such a clutter bug that I'd be lucky to locate all of my medications b/c I have one up on this shelf, one over here one over there *LOL* its kind of crazy. But that's how my brain is..Scattered and cluttered with bad memories of a past that I can't live down or forget.<br /><br />It helps to talk to my Friend from 9th grade, Kim. She is a real inspiration to me more so now than ever because I found out she suffers from bipolar disorder as well and she was also sexual molested growing up. More so than me b/c hers went on for years and years and involved her sisters. Its crazy what we kids went through and no one should ever have to suffer. I think I would kill someone if I ever found out they laid one tiny finger on my children sexually or abusively. I would kill them or die trying! That's what I would do, I don't care who they were/are to me! You better believe I cherish my children's lives more than I do mine, and I don't want them to go through what I did a few times and what my friends had to go through that is just unreal. No Child should be "broken" in that way. And I love my children with so much of my heart it tears me up to even think like that.<br />To see pictures of dead children lying in their parents arms after the Natural Disaster over in Thailand and the like, um it just really hurts and my heart goes out to them over their. I don't know how much more tragedy my ears can hear about or my eyes can see but it is affecting me I can tell.<br /></content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/110515356295501770/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=110515356295501770&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/110515356295501770'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/110515356295501770'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/01/you-know-i-very-well-could-of-went-out.html' title=''/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-110513889007080664</id><published>2005-01-07T18:01:00.000-05:00</published><updated>2005-01-07T18:01:30.070-05:00</updated><title type='text'>tsunami.583</title><content type='html'><div style="float: right; margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/40732541404@N01/2714828/" title="photo sharing"><img src="http://photos3.flickr.com/2714828_f835940dcd_m.jpg" alt="" style="border: solid 2px #000000;" /></a> <br /> <span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/40732541404@N01/2714828/">tsunami.583</a> <br /> Originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/40732541404@N01/">ponto</a>. </span></div>That is so terrible. Look at this picture that I think is said to be in the New York Times. Look it is so sad. :(<br clear="all" /></content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/110513889007080664/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=110513889007080664&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/110513889007080664'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/110513889007080664'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/01/tsunami583.html' title='tsunami.583'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-110506362338923015</id><published>2005-01-06T21:07:00.000-05:00</published><updated>2005-01-06T21:07:03.390-05:00</updated><title type='text'>OMG!</title><content type='html'><div style="float: right; margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/lilispics/2743235/" title="photo sharing"><img src="http://photos3.flickr.com/2743235_8c0e02269b_m.jpg" alt="" style="border: solid 2px #000000;" /></a> <br /> <span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/lilispics/2743235/">Lisa's Album 027</a> <br /> Originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/lilispics/">lgc_87</a>. </span></div>HEy Guys! WOndering across my Neace's Flickr account, I came across this OLD photo on hers of me and my husband, of course then we were just starting to date..the date was Late 1996....Gosh he looks so dorky with those big glasses on his skinny face that he had back then..and I look so dorky with those braces and that Fat full face...*lol* my my how things change. hmmm, it musta been love.....but its all over now.<br clear="all" /></content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/110506362338923015/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=110506362338923015&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/110506362338923015'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/110506362338923015'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2005/01/omg.html' title='OMG!'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-110419105974177095</id><published>2004-12-27T18:36:00.000-05:00</published><updated>2004-12-27T18:44:19.743-05:00</updated><title type='text'>Christmas if over, PHEEWW!</title><content type='html'>I hope Everyone had a lovely christmas. I had Christmas dinner at my house, My mom helped of course..<br><br /><underline>She Cooked</underline><br><br />Turkey<br><br />Potato Salad<br><br />Stuffing<br><br />Giblet Gravey<br><br />Kentucky Wonder Green Beans<br><br />Mac 'n Cheese<br><br /><br><br /><underline>I cooked</underline><br><br />Ham<br><br />Squash Casserole<br><br />dinner rolls<br><br />Cranberry Sauce (yeah i took it upon myself to open the can, wiggle it out and slice it!)<br><br />and of course I bought the Deserts!<br />One Peacan Pie,One Sweet Potato Pie and One Pumpkin Pie!<br /><br />It was Me, My 3 hellians, My mom and Dad,My uncle, My brother and sister in law and their 3 Girls. ;0<br />It was a feast! It was the first time in a LONG time that We have gotten together like that and the food turned out so yummy in a long long time. ;0<br />I just wish I coulda had more room and more food to invite The rest of the Family and maybe even a few friends.<br />That woulda been cool.<br /><br /><br><br /><br />Back to the Grind Tomorrow...My vacation is over with! :( well not until Friday !! WOOOHOO and i get another 4 days off!! YIPPIEE YIPPIEE!! <br />Ah! who I'm kidding, I have no where to go, and no money to go anywhere so It looks like another BORING ass New Year's Eve.<br />Does anyone wanna come over here and help me drink my vodka and Tequila?<br />I hate drinkin' all alone :(<br /><br /><br /><br />Crystal<br /></content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/110419105974177095/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=110419105974177095&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/110419105974177095'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/110419105974177095'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2004/12/christmas-if-over-pheeww.html' title='Christmas if over, PHEEWW!'/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5009399.post-110386233876555487</id><published>2004-12-23T23:23:00.000-05:00</published><updated>2004-12-23T23:25:38.766-05:00</updated><title type='text'></title><content type='html'>I needed to hear this before christmas<br /> As some of you may have known,<br />I have a disorder that gets aggrivated and tends to get worse because of Stress and the fact that I guess I have a tendency to get stressed out over the most silliyest of situations to most people..<br />so for me to have 3 rambunxious (sp?) little boys and single parenting is enough to drive a sane woman crazy let alone one thats always been on the brink of insanity anyway. ha.<br />Well I was looking through my old poetry and i ran across this poem and I really wanted to share or in some cases Reshare it with you:<br /><br /><br />Breakdown.....(written 3-6-97 ~ wow thats OLD)<br /><br />Tradgedy, Confusion;<br />like a swarm of bees attacking.<br />The pain lives on so great.<br />The feelings of life so fragile,<br />yet the hands of time so long.<br />Being so stressed till you can't function.<br />Having burdens of loved ones bring you down.<br />Life is too fragile to take for granted,<br />Life is too long to endure pain<br /><br />XxxCrystal CravenXxx © 2004</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/feeds/110386233876555487/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5009399&postID=110386233876555487&isPopup=true' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/110386233876555487'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5009399/posts/default/110386233876555487'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://alwayz_blu.blogspot.com/2004/12/i-needed-to-hear-this-before-christmas.html' title=''/><author><name>MizzCrystal's AlterEgo</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/02024398823924099341</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='26' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08a1Rb14H9scQ2aemckljG44TcPq82VECTRk77EYlHMT4KjLCoc9iqFR_1ED7uZ4W6Fe57L8kdvMed_qsZe8ak6XnQ8tCTnAKoXGLZpJcge6pjA0_7AcVF1Gg1d51Z9A/s220/bwmom.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry></feed>If you would like to create a banner that links to this page (i.e. this validation result), do the following:
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