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Source: https://mommypsych.com/feed/

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30. <item>
31. <title>Lying and Child Development</title>
32. <link>https://mommypsych.com/lying-and-child-development/</link>
34. <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jenni Farrow]]></dc:creator>
35. <pubDate>Mon, 22 May 2023 01:27:02 +0000</pubDate>
36. <category><![CDATA[Early Childhood Development]]></category>
37. <guid isPermaLink="false">https://mommypsych.com/?p=1621</guid>
38.  
39. <description><![CDATA[<p>Hello brave parents and caregivers, Though lying is very common in childhood, it is understandably a source of stress for both parents and children. It can be helpful to realize that lying is often more a reflection of a child’s cognitive ability than an intentional moral violation, particularly in the early years. Lying is a [&#8230;]</p>
40. <p>The post <a href="https://mommypsych.com/lying-and-child-development/">Lying and Child Development</a> appeared first on <a href="https://mommypsych.com">MommyPsych</a>.</p>
41. ]]></description>
42. <content:encoded><![CDATA[
43. <p>Hello brave parents and caregivers,<br></p>
44.  
45.  
46.  
47. <p>Though lying is very common in childhood, it is understandably a source of stress for both parents and children. It can be helpful to realize that lying is often more a reflection of a child’s cognitive ability than an intentional moral violation, particularly in the early years.<br></p>
48.  
49.  
50.  
51. <p>Lying is a complex task that requires the development of several important cognitive capacities. In fact, lying in the preschool years is recognized as a key developmental milestone.<br></p>
52.  
53.  
54.  
55. <p>So, before we jump to conclusions about the character of our beloved (and occasionally lie-telling) kids, let’s take a closer look at lying and child development.<br><br></p>
56.  
57.  
58.  
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67. <script>
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69. </script>
70.  
71.  
72.  
73. <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-lying-and-cognitive-abilities">Lying and Cognitive Abilities</h2>
74.  
75.  
76.  
77. <p><br>There are two main cognitive capacities that children need to develop in order to tell a lie.<br><br></p>
78.  
79.  
80.  
81. <h3 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-1-theory-of-mind">1. <strong>Theory of mind</strong></h3>
82.  
83.  
84.  
85. <p>This means to understand:</p>
86.  
87.  
88.  
89. <ol type="A">
90. <li>That you can have thoughts or beliefs that are different from reality</li>
91.  
92.  
93.  
94. <li>That people may not have the same thoughts and feelings that you do</li>
95.  
96.  
97.  
98. <li>How to take another person’s perspective<br><br></li>
99. </ol>
100.  
101.  
102.  
103. <h3 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-2-executive-functioning">2. <strong>Executive functioning</strong></h3>
104.  
105.  
106.  
107. <p>A group of brain abilities involving:</p>
108.  
109.  
110.  
111. <ol type="A">
112. <li>Inhibitory control&#8211;to control what you say or do</li>
113.  
114.  
115.  
116. <li>Working memory&#8211;to hold information in your mind so you can recall it later</li>
117.  
118.  
119.  
120. <li>Planning&#8211;to work out the steps needed to achieve a goal<br><br><br><br></li>
121. </ol>
122.  
123.  
124.  
125. <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-2-4-years-old"><strong>2-4 Years Old</strong></h2>
126.  
127.  
128.  
129. <p><br>By 2-3 years old, children start to develop theory of mind&#8211;they realize that they can have a thought that is not true to reality <em>and</em> that other people may not realize they are not telling the truth.  This sets the stage for lying. At this age, lies usually involve children concealing that they have done something they were not supposed to do. Often, the lies are highly unrealistic (e.g., “I didn’t draw on the floor, it was the cat!”). And though children are able to produce lies at this age, they usually do not have the executive functioning skills to keep a lie going. For instance, even after just blaming the cat, if you asked a follow-up question about why they chose the green crayon to draw on the floor, they may respond with, “Because it’s my favorite color!”<br><br></p>
130.  
131.  
132.  
133. <p>Keep in mind that lies in this age group may also stem from wish fulfillment or from pure imagination. A child may, for instance, claim she did not hit her sibling because she wishes she hadn’t. Or, in the case of my daughter, recount detailed stories of swimming with her teachers and friends during her 2-year-old (entirely pool-less) school program. Definitely not true, but I can see how she might like to imagine having had such a fun adventure at school.<br></p>
134.  
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136.  
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145. <script>
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147. </script>
148.  
149.  
150.  
151.  
152. <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-4-5-years-old"><br><strong>4- 5 Years Old</strong></h2>
153.  
154.  
155.  
156. <p><br>By this age, children are able to consider another person’s beliefs or knowledge when telling lies. Taking the previous example, they may now take into account that their parents know that cats cannot draw and so they tell a more realistic lie (e.g., “I didn’t draw on the floor, my brother did!”).<br><br><br></p>
157.  
158.  
159.  
160. <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-6-8-years-old"><strong>6- 8 Years Old</strong></h2>
161.  
162.  
163.  
164. <p>Children now understand that once they have told you a lie, that, to remain convincing, you expect them to respond in a way that is consistent with the lie. Correspondingly, they may now be able to keep their initial lies going. As in the above example, if you asked a child in this age group why she chose a green crayon to draw the floor, she may respond with: “I didn’t use any color crayon to draw on the floor because I didn’t do it!”<br></p>
165.  
166.  
167.  
168. <p>Advancing executive functioning skills also make it easier to maintain lies. Cognitively, children are more able to control what they say, remember the lie they told and stay consistent with it, and plan how they will respond. Hold onto your seats, they may really be able to pull the wool over your eyes at this point.<br><br></p>
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180. <script>
181.     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
182. </script>
183.  
184.  
185.  
186.  
187. <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-8-years-old-adolescence"><br><strong>8 Years Old- Adolescence</strong></h2>
188.  
189.  
190.  
191. <p><br>Lying is not always straightforward, is it? Sometimes we tell lies not to hurt someone’s feelings. While lying in early childhood is usually related to concealing a transgression, as children get older, they develop the capacity to tell so-called prosocial lies, or lies intended to benefit others (e.g., to protect his feelings, telling a gift-giver you like his gift of the LEGO set you already own). By this age, children have developed the capacity to take another person’s perspective and can take into account how he may feel about hearing the truth. By about 9 years old, prosocial lying usually outweighs lying to conceal a misdeed.  <br><br></p>
192.  
193.  
194.  
195. <p>Keep in mind that though children have a basic sense of right and wrong by about 3-6 years old, it’s not until early adolescence that they are mature enough to <em>really</em> consider the moral implications behind telling a lie.<br><br><br></p>
196.  
197.  
198.  
199. <p>Brave parents and caregivers,<br></p>
200.  
201.  
202.  
203. <p>The truth is that lying in childhood is common. And as a child’s cognitive abilities grow, as does her capacity for lying.  My hope is that by improving our understanding of lying and <a href="https://mommypsych.com/social-and-emotional-development-in-early-childhood/">child development</a>, we can reduce shame and judgement when it comes to approaching our kids’ lie-telling.<br></p>
204.  
205.  
206.  
207. <p>At the same time, I realize you may be thinking this is all well and good, but we don’t <em>want</em> our children to lie (in most cases). I hear you. Lying is such a complex and pervasive issue, my next couple posts will focus on digging deeper into childhood lying.<br></p>
208.  
209.  
210.  
211. <p>So, stay tuned as I explore the reasons why children lie, lying and parenting style, lying and ADHD, red flags for problematic lying, and, importantly, how to approach lying with your child.<br></p>
212.  
213.  
214.  
215. <p>Until next time,  <br><br></p>
216.  
217.  
218. <div class="wp-block-image">
219. <figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="308" height="198" src="https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9.png" alt="" class="wp-image-554" srcset="https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9.png 308w, https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9-300x193.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 308px) 100vw, 308px" /></figure></div>
220.  
221.  
222. <p>References:</p>
223.  
224.  
225.  
226. <ol type="1">
227. <li>Talwar V and Lee K (2008). Social and cognitive correlates of children’s lying behavior. <em>Child Development.</em> 79 (4), 866-881.</li>
228.  
229.  
230.  
231. <li>Lee JYS and Imuta K (2021). Lying and theory of mind: A meta-analysis. <em>Child Development. </em>92 (2), 536-553.</li>
232.  
233.  
234.  
235. <li>O’Connor AM, Dykstra VW, Evans AD. Executive functions and young children’s lie-telling and lie maintenance. <em>Developmental Psychology.</em> 56 (7), 1278-1289.</li>
236. </ol>
237. <p>The post <a href="https://mommypsych.com/lying-and-child-development/">Lying and Child Development</a> appeared first on <a href="https://mommypsych.com">MommyPsych</a>.</p>
238. ]]></content:encoded>
242. </item>
243. <item>
244. <title>Good Enough Parenting</title>
245. <link>https://mommypsych.com/good-enough-parenting/</link>
247. <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jenni Farrow]]></dc:creator>
248. <pubDate>Sat, 13 May 2023 20:44:12 +0000</pubDate>
249. <category><![CDATA[Early Childhood Development]]></category>
250. <guid isPermaLink="false">https://mommypsych.com/?p=1592</guid>
251.  
252. <description><![CDATA[<p>I’ll be honest, as I walk through my house dutifully closing the windows and locking the doors before bed, my mind often wanders to how I failed as a mother that day. Harsh, I know, but true. I think about how, during the short amount of time I had with my daughter between the end [&#8230;]</p>
253. <p>The post <a href="https://mommypsych.com/good-enough-parenting/">Good Enough Parenting</a> appeared first on <a href="https://mommypsych.com">MommyPsych</a>.</p>
254. ]]></description>
255. <content:encoded><![CDATA[
256. <p>I’ll be honest, as I walk through my house dutifully closing the windows and locking the doors before bed, my mind often wanders to how I failed as a mother that day. Harsh, I know, but true. I think about how, during the short amount of time I had with my daughter between the end of the school/work day and bedtime, I had been preoccupied with thoughts of a challenging patient from earlier in the day or was otherwise so depleted that I could not muster the energy to really listen when she shared the details of her day. Then, of course, there are the other, more tangible times when I’ve failed to remember to pack a school snack or library book.<br></p>
257.  
258.  
259.  
260. <p>Each night, while I resolve to do better the next day, I am simultaneously comforted by Dr. Donald Woods Winnicott’s concept of the “good-enough” parent. Winnicott, a British pediatrician and psychanalyst, introduced the idea of the “good-enough mother” in 1953.<br><br><br></p>
261.  
262.  
263.  
264. <script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404"
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272. <script>
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274. </script>
275.  
276.  
277.  
278. <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-what-is-good-enough-mothering"><br>What Is Good-Enough Mothering?</h2>
279.  
280.  
281.  
282. <p><br>During the newborn phase, a mother figure avails to meet a baby’s needs as immediately as possible and the infant perceives the two of them as a <a href="https://mommypsych.com/social-and-emotional-development-in-early-childhood/">unified being</a>. Though this phase is necessary to develop an infant’s sense of safety and trust, a parent is not able to sustain constant availability. And so comes good-enough mothering.<br></p>
283.  
284.  
285.  
286. <p>The process of good-enough mothering involves a gradual back and forth between a baby and his mother figure. According to her baby’s growing ability tolerate frustration, a mother gradually lessens her adaptation to his needs, which has the full-circle effect of frustrating him.  Why is this a good thing?  At the beginning, a parent’s almost exact fulfillment of an infant’s needs resembles the work of magic; it’s as if he only has to wish for a need to be met and poof! &#8212;full tummy and a clean diaper.   Given the opportunity to experience small amounts of frustration, a baby begins to understand that his mother, in her imperfection, is REAL and separate from him.  With this, he begins to grasp the idea of the real world that exists outside of himself.<br><br><br></p>
287.  
288.  
289.  
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298. <script>
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300. </script>
301.  
302.  
303.  
304. <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-the-benefits-of-good-enough-mothering"><br>The Benefits of Good-Enough Mothering<br><br></h2>
305.  
306.  
307.  
308. <ol type="1">
309. <li>I&#8217;m getting better at it, but when my daughter was younger, I forgot to pack a school snack or two. As a result, she was tasked with approaching the teacher to request one from the school stash. This marked the beginning of building <strong>assertiveness </strong>skills and learning how to <strong>advocate</strong> for herself.<br><br></li>
310.  
311.  
312.  
313. <li>In my family, I am not one to cater meals to each person’s liking—you get what you get. Shocker, I know, but sometimes my daughter is less than thrilled with what is served. But when she decides to eat her less-than-favorite meal, it develops <strong>flexibility.</strong> <strong> </strong>And if she’s served food she doesn’t love at a friend’s house, I hope she’ll exercise flexibility and try to enjoy it.<br><br></li>
314.  
315.  
316.  
317. <li>My daughter has been asking to get her ears pierced for months. It’s on my mile-long to-do list, but I can’t seem to find the time for it. I’ve <a href="https://mommypsych.com/the-importance-of-validating-your-childs-emotions/">validated</a> her disappointment and assured her I will take her in the near future. And, she has been learning that she will be okay even though she is disappointed, building her <strong>resilience.</strong>  <br><br></li>
318.  
319.  
320.  
321. <li>Whether related to distracting thoughts, fatigue, or any number of things, I admit it is sometimes difficult for me to be fully present for my daughter. When this is the case, I explain myself (i.e., that it is not her fault, I am tired from work, and I will be ready to talk after I rest for a moment).  In doing so, she begins to learn to take another person’s perspective and to develop the capacity for <strong>compassion</strong>. Also, though steeped in the <a href="https://mommypsych.com/social-and-emotional-development-in-early-childhood/">ego centrism</a> inherent to childhood, it is helpful for kids to have the opportunity to realize that they are not, in actuality, <a href="https://mommypsych.com/social-and-emotional-development-in-early-childhood/">the center of the universe</a>.<br><br></li>
322.  
323.  
324.  
325. <li>In reality, I cannot always drop what I am doing to play. When this happens, I explain to my daughter that I would love to play, let her know when I’ll be available, and <a href="https://mommypsych.com/the-importance-of-validating-your-childs-emotions/">validate</a> her frustration.  By not immediately meeting her wishes, I provide an opportunity for her to develop <strong>frustration tolerance</strong> and <strong>emotion regulation</strong> skills.<br><br></li>
326.  
327.  
328.  
329. <li>Occasionally I have to respond to work messages while home with my daughter, leaving her to entertain herself. This often results in her feeling “bored”. But <a href="https://mommypsych.com/boredom-in-kids/">allowing her to experience boredom</a> stokes her <strong>creativity</strong> and provides her with the opportunity to explore her likes and dislikes, promoting the development of her <strong>independence</strong>.  <br><br></li>
330. </ol>
331.  
332.  
333.  
334. <script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404"
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342. <script>
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344. </script>
345.  
346.  
347.  
348.  
349. <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-what-good-enough-parenting-is-not"><br>What Good-Enough Parenting is NOT</h2>
350.  
351.  
352.  
353. <p><br><br>I’d like to emphasize that, during the newborn phase, it’s important and necessary to meet a baby’s needs completely. Doing so builds the <a href="https://mommypsych.com/social-and-emotional-development-in-early-childhood/">sense of trust in people and the environment</a> necessary for favorable development. Without this trust, a baby will not be able to manage the frustration that goes along with good-enough parenting, further slowing his development. In addition, abuse and neglect do NOT, in any way, reflect the concept of good-enough parenting. Using <a href="https://mommypsych.com/is-spanking-wrong/">physical discipline</a>, regularly failing to meet a child’s emotional or physical needs, or not actively and connectedly participating in a child’s life can be psychologically damaging.<br><br><br></p>
354.  
355.  
356.  
357. <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-a-good-enough-mother-is-a-good-mother">A Good-Enough Mother Is a Good Mother<br></h2>
358.  
359.  
360.  
361. <p><br>Some of you may think I’m rationalizing my shortcomings, and you may not be wrong. But I am of the opinion that imperfect mothering <em>is</em> good mothering. If we “fail” our kids in small and tolerable ways, they learn how to manage the challenges and frustrations that inevitably arise while living in an imperfect world.<br></p>
362.  
363.  
364.  
365. <p>And do I dare go even further and apply the concept of “good-enough” to other aspects of my life? My house is nowhere near clean, but I suppose it’s clean enough and, though far from perfect, I’m content to abandon writing this post in exchange for spending time with my daughter. Fellow moms, our imperfection is a gift that provides space for growth and for real life to happen. And it’s exactly what our kids need for their healthy emotional development.<br><br></p>
366.  
367.  
368. <div class="wp-block-image">
369. <figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="308" height="198" src="https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9.png" alt="" class="wp-image-554" srcset="https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9.png 308w, https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9-300x193.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 308px) 100vw, 308px" /></figure></div>
370.  
371.  
372. <p>Reference:</p>
373.  
374.  
375.  
376. <p>Winnicott, DW. Playing and Reality. London and New York, Tavistock Publications, Ltd. 1971.</p>
377. <p>The post <a href="https://mommypsych.com/good-enough-parenting/">Good Enough Parenting</a> appeared first on <a href="https://mommypsych.com">MommyPsych</a>.</p>
378. ]]></content:encoded>
382. </item>
383. <item>
384. <title>Social and Emotional Development in Early Childhood</title>
385. <link>https://mommypsych.com/social-and-emotional-development-in-early-childhood/</link>
387. <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jenni Farrow]]></dc:creator>
388. <pubDate>Sat, 06 May 2023 16:31:52 +0000</pubDate>
389. <category><![CDATA[Early Childhood Development]]></category>
390. <guid isPermaLink="false">https://mommypsych.com/?p=1517</guid>
391.  
392. <description><![CDATA[<p>Hello brave parents and caregivers, Child development can be as confusing as it is magical. One day a baby may have no problem being held by a grandparent, while the next he cries until he’s back in his mother’s arms. Or, seemingly out of nowhere, your usually easygoing child cries in protest as you leave [&#8230;]</p>
393. <p>The post <a href="https://mommypsych.com/social-and-emotional-development-in-early-childhood/">Social and Emotional Development in Early Childhood</a> appeared first on <a href="https://mommypsych.com">MommyPsych</a>.</p>
394. ]]></description>
395. <content:encoded><![CDATA[
396. <p>Hello brave parents and caregivers,<br></p>
397.  
398.  
399.  
400. <p>Child development can be as confusing as it is magical. One day a baby may have no problem being held by a grandparent, while the next he cries until he’s back in his mother’s arms. Or, seemingly out of nowhere, your usually easygoing child cries in protest as you leave for work, leaving you to wonder, “what’s changed?”<br></p>
401.  
402.  
403.  
404. <p>An understanding of child development is important; it provides insight that helps parents navigate developmental stages with compassion and, for many, offers comfort in the knowledge that challenging times are likely to be “just a phase”.<br></p>
405.  
406.  
407.  
408. <p>Here, I’ll overview early childhood cognitive, social, and emotional developmental stages to shed light on this complex and sometimes confusing process.<br></p>
409.  
410.  
411.  
412. <p>Read on, parents and caregivers, to help answer the age-old question: “Is this normal?”<br><br><br></p>
413.  
414.  
415.  
416. <script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404"
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427.  
428.  
429.  
430. <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-a-little-about-child-development">A Little About Child Development<br><br></h2>
431.  
432.  
433.  
434. <p>First, it’s worth mentioning that what I present here is based on theories, which by nature are controversial and everchanging. I highlight features of developmental theories that as a child psychiatrist I find interesting and as a mother I’ve seen unfold before my eyes. I realize it can be artificial to boil down the complexity of human development into stages. Developmental age ranges are approximate, there is often overlap between stages, and, ultimately, each child is an individual who develops at his own pace. That said, if you have any concerns about your child’s development, please seek an evaluation with your pediatrician.<br><br><br></p>
435.  
436.  
437.  
438. <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-child-development-and-regression">Child Development and Regression<br><br></h2>
439.  
440.  
441.  
442. <p>Child development is thought to be sequential&#8211;mastering a particular stage depends on having mastered the one before it. However, regression (abandoning recently-acquired abilities and reverting to past behavior) is common. In normal child development, regression is temporary and usually related to an identifiable stress, including facing a new developmental task. &nbsp;In fact, Anna Freud observed that “backward moves” happen with all important childhood achievements. <br><br><br><br>Child development does not move along a perfect, linear course; it is an uneven, slow, trial-and-error process of successes and relapses. I remember having scratched my head when my daughter’s sleep regressed. There had been no changes in her routine or bedtime. No new stressors I could think of. What the heck? But, after the sleep regression, she started walking, and, wouldn’t you know it, her sleep soon returned to normal. I concluded she must have been so concentrated on learning how to walk that she had briefly abandoned recently-learned skills that had helped her fall asleep. Parents and caregivers, one step back and two steps forward seems to be the way of child development.<br><br></p>
443.  
444.  
445.  
446. <script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404"
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456. </script>
457.  
458.  
459.  
460. <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-0-3-months"><br>0-3 months</h2>
461.  
462.  
463.  
464. <p><br><br>Textbooks describe the newborn phase as passive, which I take issue with. In my experience, newborns are quite good at actively communicating their wish to be fed or held! But I get it, there is no real back and forth in caring for an infant. Feed. Change. Sleep. Repeat.<br></p>
465.  
466.  
467.  
468. <p>And then comes the smile!&nbsp; The first smile usually appears between 4 to 8 weeks old, almost always by about 3 months old. A newborn’s vision is about 20/200 and she focuses about 9 to 12 inches away. When smiling, she is responding to a face’s shapes without realizing they belong to a human being. The smile is a big deal because it means she’s beginning to acknowledge the existence of something outside of herself and actively engage with her world.<br><br></p>
469.  
470.  
471.  
472. <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-3-12-months-hope">3- 12 months: Hope</h2>
473.  
474.  
475.  
476. <p><br>Through repeated contact with his mother figure, a baby learns that a world outside himself exists. At this point, he believes that he and his mother figure are one entity rather than two physically separate individuals.<br><br></p>
477.  
478.  
479.  
480. <p>Around 8 to 9 months of age, he may become upset around unfamiliar people, marking the beginning of <strong>stranger anxiety</strong>. Here, he learns how to distinguish one person from another and realizes that certain people are critical to his well-being. Well-intentioned relatives may feel slighted when a baby does not return their affection. Remind them that stranger anxiety is normal and pretty exciting—a baby is growing in his ability to develop relationships.<br><br></p>
481.  
482.  
483.  
484. <p>During this phase, if a child’s needs are met through the love and nurturance of his caregivers, he perceives the world as a safe and gratifying place. He learns that he can trust people and his environment and he gains the core strength of hope.<br><br></p>
485.  
486.  
487.  
488. <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-1-3-years-old-will">1-3 years old: Will</h2>
489.  
490.  
491.  
492. <p><br><br>This is a time of explosive growth and psychological development as a child begins to differentiate herself as an individual separate from her mother figure. As she starts to crawl and walk, her world wonderfully expands. &nbsp;However, she soon realizes that she is a small person in a big world and moves back to her parent for comfort and reassurance. The push-pull between her drive for autonomy and need for closeness conflicts her, often leading to confusing or dysregulated behavior. It&#8217;s helpful for a parent to act as a secure base from which she can continue to separate, then reunite. Remaining emotionally available, understanding, and compassionate during this time helps her build confidence in her ability to navigate her environment.<br><br></p>
493.  
494.  
495.  
496. <p>During the first year, a child develops <strong>object permanence</strong>, or the ability to understand that people and objects exist even if she cannot see or hear them. This skill is typically well-formed by about 2-years-old, and marks an important cognitive step in developing language, memory, and imagination. This is also a vulnerable time for developing <a href="https://mommypsych.com/helping-kids-with-separation-anxiety/">separation anxiety</a>. A child realizes that her parent exists even if he is not visible and she is upset he is not with her. Separation anxiety is common and usually temporary. By about 3-years old, a child is able to maintain a mental representation of her parent and remember past experiences when her mother returned, making it easier for her to tolerate physical separation.<br><br></p>
497.  
498.  
499.  
500. <p>Keep in mind that negativism (i.e., resistance, endlessly hearing “no”, “not listening”, etc.) at this age is a healthy expression of a child’s drive for autonomy. Parents, you become a victim of your own success&#8211; your child feels secure and confident enough to assert her autonomy and forge her own path.<br><br></p>
501.  
502.  
503.  
504. <p>When a child masters this developmental stage, she develops the core strength of will.<br><br></p>
505.  
506.  
507.  
508. <script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404"
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518. </script>
519.  
520.  
521.  
522. <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-3-6-years-old-purpose"><br>3-6 years old: Purpose<br><br></h2>
523.  
524.  
525.  
526. <p>Children now know the difference between right and wrong but <strong>conscience</strong> is just beginning to form; it will not be fully refined until around 12 years old, when they are capable of abstract thinking (e.g., being able to place themselves in someone else’s shoes).<br><br></p>
527.  
528.  
529.  
530. <p><strong>Ego centrism</strong> continues to reign, meaning that a child will not view his parents as having an existence outside of their role of fulfilling his needs and wishes. Because of this, a child takes things personally&#8211;it is not uncommon to hear “you hate me!” if, for instance, you have to leave the park to get home for a meeting. Parents, if your child thinks he’s the center of the universe, no worries—it is expected at this age!<br><br></p>
531.  
532.  
533.  
534. <p>In line with ego centrism, <strong>magical thinking</strong> is also prominent as children believe their thoughts or actions directly influence the world around them. For instance, they may believe their dog <a href="https://mommypsych.com/talking-to-children-about-death/">died</a> because they played with him too roughly or that they can bring him back to life by wishing it. As parents, we sometimes harness the power of magical thinking, such as <a href="https://mommypsych.com/helping-children-with-sleep/">using “monster spray”</a> at night to keep danger away.<br><br></p>
535.  
536.  
537.  
538. <p>As kids in this age group learn how to use symbols their engagement in pretend play flourishes— I’ve enjoyed many tea parties where stuffed animals act as my daughter’s teachers, family, or close friends. And as imaginations soar, new fears may develop, adding new challenges to daily routines, such as bedtime or bath time.<br><br></p>
539.  
540.  
541.  
542. <p>Initiative is at the heart of this developmental stage. Kids focus their energy on trying new things and engaging in social interactions on their own. Because they are impulsive and not able to consider consequences, they will make mistakes. It is helpful for parents to create a safe environment that nurtures their eagerness to try new things. Teaching kids that mistakes are learning opportunities that are to be expected will give them the confidence to keep trying. And expect to repeat yourself many times—they will not be able to learn the first time. When a child masters this developmental stage, she acquires a sense of purpose. &nbsp;<br><br><br></p>
543.  
544.  
545.  
546. <p>Brave parents and caregivers, <br><br><br>Child development is a magical and often challenging process. For parents, it involves creating a secure space for kids to explore, assert their autonomy, and make mistakes, all the while offering benevolent redirection to support their progress, ensure their safety, and <a href="https://mommypsych.com/parent-child-interaction-therapy/">develop their emotion and behavior regulation skills</a>. &nbsp;With your loving guidance, your kids will thrive as they navigate their social and emotional development.<br><br><br>Until next time,</p>
547.  
548.  
549.  
550. <p><br></p>
551.  
552.  
553. <div class="wp-block-image">
554. <figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="308" height="198" src="https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9.png" alt="" class="wp-image-554" srcset="https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9.png 308w, https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9-300x193.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 308px) 100vw, 308px" /></figure></div>
555.  
556.  
557. <p>Reference:</p>
558.  
559.  
560.  
561. <p>Colarusso, CA. Child and Adult Development: A Psychoanalytic Introduction for Clinicians. New York, Plenum Press. 1992.</p>
562. <p>The post <a href="https://mommypsych.com/social-and-emotional-development-in-early-childhood/">Social and Emotional Development in Early Childhood</a> appeared first on <a href="https://mommypsych.com">MommyPsych</a>.</p>
563. ]]></content:encoded>
567. </item>
568. <item>
569. <title>Attention-Seeking in Kids: A Growth Opportunity</title>
570. <link>https://mommypsych.com/attention-seeking-in-kids/</link>
572. <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jenni Farrow]]></dc:creator>
573. <pubDate>Sun, 23 Apr 2023 14:16:07 +0000</pubDate>
574. <category><![CDATA[Disruptive Behavior]]></category>
575. <guid isPermaLink="false">https://mommypsych.com/?p=1444</guid>
576.  
577. <description><![CDATA[<p>Hello brave parents and caregivers, My daughter, delightfully into reading, prefers to read to the exclusion of everything else, including getting ready for bed. Because it is difficult to simultaneously read, get changed, and brush teeth, our bedtime routine has hit a couple roadblocks lately. On a particularly challenging Friday evening, my attempts to move [&#8230;]</p>
578. <p>The post <a href="https://mommypsych.com/attention-seeking-in-kids/">Attention-Seeking in Kids: A Growth Opportunity</a> appeared first on <a href="https://mommypsych.com">MommyPsych</a>.</p>
579. ]]></description>
580. <content:encoded><![CDATA[
581. <p>Hello brave parents and caregivers,</p>
582.  
583.  
584.  
585. <p>My daughter, delightfully into reading, prefers to read to the exclusion of everything else, including getting ready for bed. Because it is difficult to simultaneously read, get changed, and brush teeth, our bedtime routine has hit a couple roadblocks lately. On a particularly challenging Friday evening, my attempts to move the routine along were met with a lot of whining and a dash of foot stomping. &nbsp;In other words, classic attention-seeking behavior.<br><br></p>
586.  
587.  
588.  
589. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-understanding-attention-seeking-behavior-in-children">Understanding Attention-Seeking Behavior in Children<br><br></h2>
590.  
591.  
592.  
593. <p>Children typically seek the amount of attention they need to move forward in development. Attention-seeking can manifest as whininess, clinginess, or dysregulated behavior, to name a few.<br><br>It is important (but challenging!) to view attention-seeking behavior through the lens of a child.&nbsp; When children seek “inappropriate” attention, it usually means they need extra help managing their feelings because, for one reason or another, they are not functioning at their best at that moment. For instance, they may be tired, hungry, anxious, frustrated, or feeling insecure. &nbsp;These minor regressions are a common part of normal development.<br><br></p>
594.  
595.  
596.  
597. <script async="" src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404" crossorigin="anonymous"></script>
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599. <script>
600.     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
601. </script>
602.  
603.  
604.  
605. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-how-you-perceive-attention-seeking-behavior-is-important">How You Perceive Attention-Seeking Behavior Is Important<br><br></h2>
606.  
607.  
608.  
609. <p>I believe that parental perception of a child’s emotions and behavior can shape a child’s self-esteem. For instance, you could view a child’s dysregulated behavior as manipulative (acting out to get his way) OR as a response to being overwhelmed by disappointment. The former suggests that the behavior stems from something “bad” within him, while the latter suggests you understand that your child may sometimes be overwhelmed but does not yet have the skills to regulate his strong emotions.  And keep in mind that the emotional life of a child, like any human being, is complex. In addition to disappointment, a child may also simultaneously feel angry at his parent, embarrassed at having made a scene, and worried about having had such strong emotions.<br><br>Viewing attention-seeking behavior as originating from something “bad” within a child may lead to parental words and actions that induce shame and erode a child’s self-esteem.<br><br></p>
610.  
611.  
612.  
613. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-when-children-seek-negative-attention">When Children Seek “Negative Attention”<br><br></h2>
614.  
615.  
616.  
617. <p>Sometimes, children engage in behavior knowing their parents or caregivers will respond disapprovingly. When this happens, it’s important to realize that a parent’s reproach never feels good for a child. That a child engages in so-called “negative attention-seeking” despite deeply caring that her beloved parent does not approve warrants close examination&#8211;if she is willing to endure the hurt of disapproval, there must be some sort of pay-off that makes it worth it.<br><br>Please take notice if your child seeks “negative attention” regularly. She may be chronically overwhelmed related to stress, trauma, or a mental health condition such as <a href="https://mommypsych.com/adhd/">ADHD</a> or <a href="https://mommypsych.com/anxiety/">anxiety</a>.  An evaluation with your pediatrician or a qualified mental health professional may be warranted.<br><br></p>
618.  
619.  
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621. <script async="" src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404" crossorigin="anonymous"></script>
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623. <script>
624.     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
625. </script>
626.  
627.  
628.  
629. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-get-curious-about-the-reason-behind-attention-seeking-behavior">Get Curious About the Reason Behind Attention-Seeking Behavior<br></h2>
630.  
631.  
632.  
633. <p>When a child engages in attention-seeking behavior, it’s helpful to approach the situation with a sense of curiosity. Why is this happening at this point in time? In the case of my daughter, I realized she was tired after a long week of school; diverting her from the enjoyment and relaxation of reading at the end of a long week felt overwhelmingly frustrating and, because she was tired, her threshold for regulating her emotions was lower than usual.<br><br>In another example, a boy who dominates his teacher’s attention with disruptive behavior may appear to be a “troublemaker” on the surface, but perhaps he feels insecure about his relationship with his parents due to a new stressor at home; here, the connectedness he feels from his teacher’s attention outweighs his discomfort with her disapproval. Or, a clingy child who appears excessively needy may wish to stay close to her mother because it alleviates the <a href="https://mommypsych.com/helping-kids-with-separation-anxiety/">separation anxiety</a> she’s experiencing ahead of the new school year.<br><br></p>
634.  
635.  
636.  
637. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-attention-seeking-behavior-is-an-opportunity">Attention-Seeking Behavior Is an Opportunity<br><br></h2>
638.  
639.  
640.  
641. <p>When your child engages in attention-seeking behavior, it offers a valuable opportunity to understand her. Consider the emotional experience your child is having. &nbsp;<a href="https://mommypsych.com/the-importance-of-validating-your-childs-emotions/">Validate</a> her feelings and convey through your words and actions that you don’t see the behavior as originating from something “bad” within her. Explore the reason behind the behavior so you can respond to it constructively. &nbsp;<br><br>While conveying your understanding, lovingly hold reasonable limits. This provides your child with an opportunity to develop important emotion and behavior regulation skills. If, for instance, my daughter were given the green light to stay up late reading, I imagine the whining would have abruptly stopped. However, fatigue would have made it difficult for her to manage the next day’s activities. &nbsp;Instead, with my validation and support (and settling on an agreement to read for a short time before lights out) she eventually worked through her emotions and went to bed. &nbsp;Providing space for a child to practice calming herself is an important step toward building emotion regulation skills.<br><br>Parents, when you approach your children’s challenging behavior with a goal to validate and understand, it supports their healthy emotional development and helps them build a positive sense of self.<br><br></p>
642.  
643.  
644.  
645. <script async="" src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404" crossorigin="anonymous"></script>
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647. <script>
648.     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
649. </script>
650.  
651.  
652.  
653. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-7-steps-to-approaching-attention-seeking-behavior">7 Steps to Approaching Attention-Seeking Behavior</h2>
654.  
655.  
656.  
657. <p><br></p>
658.  
659.  
660.  
661. <p></p>
662.  
663.  
664.  
665. <p>1.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Keep in mind that your child <em>wants </em>please you – he genuinely does not enjoy “misbehaving”.<br><br>2.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <a href="https://mommypsych.com/the-importance-of-validating-your-childs-emotions/">Validate</a> his feelings.&nbsp;&nbsp;<br><br>3.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Convey your understanding that attention-seeking behavior is not related to your child being manipulative.<br><br>4.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Get curious—try to figure out the reason underlying his behavior.<br><br>5.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; View attention-seeking behavior as a valuable opportunity to understand your child.<br><br>6.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Lovingly hold reasonable limits.<br><br>7.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; In younger children, consider the use of parent-child interaction techniques (internal link) to address dysregulated behavior.<br><br><br></p>
666.  
667.  
668.  
669. <p>Brave parents and caregivers,<br><br>When kids engage in attention-seeking behavior, there is usually a reason for it. Use attention-seeking as an important opportunity to understand your children. Conveying your understanding improves their self-esteem and helps them learn the emotion and behavior regulation skills that move their development forward.<br><br>Until next time,<br><br></p>
670.  
671.  
672. <div class="wp-block-image">
673. <figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="308" height="198" src="https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9.png" alt="" class="wp-image-554" srcset="https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9.png 308w, https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9-300x193.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 308px) 100vw, 308px" /></figure></div><p>The post <a href="https://mommypsych.com/attention-seeking-in-kids/">Attention-Seeking in Kids: A Growth Opportunity</a> appeared first on <a href="https://mommypsych.com">MommyPsych</a>.</p>
674. ]]></content:encoded>
678. </item>
679. <item>
680. <title>Why Is My Child Acting Like a Teenager?</title>
681. <link>https://mommypsych.com/why-is-my-child-acting-like-a-teenager/</link>
683. <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jenni Farrow]]></dc:creator>
684. <pubDate>Sat, 01 Apr 2023 18:01:08 +0000</pubDate>
685. <category><![CDATA[Disruptive Behavior]]></category>
686. <guid isPermaLink="false">https://mommypsych.com/?p=1348</guid>
687.  
688. <description><![CDATA[<p>Hello brave parents and caregivers, Once you’ve passed the toddler years, it’s time to enjoy a well-earned respite from meltdowns and big emotions, right? I’ve looked forward to middle childhood as a time to dial back, at least a little, on the emotion and behavior regulation work of early childhood. But just the other day [&#8230;]</p>
689. <p>The post <a href="https://mommypsych.com/why-is-my-child-acting-like-a-teenager/">Why Is My Child Acting Like a Teenager?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://mommypsych.com">MommyPsych</a>.</p>
690. ]]></description>
691. <content:encoded><![CDATA[
692. <p>Hello brave parents and caregivers,<br><br></p>
693.  
694.  
695.  
696. <p>Once you’ve passed the toddler years, it’s time to enjoy a well-earned respite from meltdowns and big emotions, right? I’ve looked forward to middle childhood as a time to dial back, at least a little, on the emotion and behavior regulation work of early childhood. But just the other day my friends and I were musing about how, all of a sudden, it feels like we have mini teenagers in the house. Uncharacteristic heightened emotions were a common thread. How weird, I thought, that we’re in the same boat together at the same time?<br><br></p>
697.  
698.  
699.  
700. <p>I decided to do some research to try to figure out what the heck was going on. &nbsp;I was fascinated by what I learned—before what we typically consider to be puberty, there is an early phase of puberty that also leads to hormone changes that can impact emotions and behaviors.<br><br></p>
701.  
702.  
703.  
704. <p>This was not on my radar, so I figured it might not be on yours. Read on to learn more!<br><br><br></p>
705.  
706.  
707.  
708. <script async="" src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404" crossorigin="anonymous"></script>
709. <ins class="adsbygoogle" style="display:block; text-align:center;" data-ad-layout="in-article" data-ad-format="fluid" data-ad-client="ca-pub-5964611917714404" data-ad-slot="8922624124"></ins>
710. <script>
711.     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
712. </script>
713.  
714.  
715.  
716. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-puberty"><br>Puberty<br><br></h2>
717.  
718.  
719.  
720. <p>The puberty we all know and love (aka gonadarche) usually starts around age 9 or 10 years in girls and about 6 to 12 months later in boys. It’s associated with rising estrogen and testosterone levels and external physical changes.<br></p>
721.  
722.  
723.  
724. <p>But, here’s the kicker&#8211;BEFORE that, there is an early part of puberty that occurs from ages 6-9 years old. This phase of puberty (adrenarche) involves the release of androgens from the adrenal glands (small, triangle-shaped glands above each kidney) and is not associated with external physical changes. <br>&nbsp;</p>
725.  
726.  
727.  
728. <p>We are all familiar with the hormonal changes that happen during as-we-know-it puberty. But little attention has been paid to the early part of puberty.<br></p>
729.  
730.  
731.  
732. <p>So, let’s take a closer look.<br><br></p>
733.  
734.  
735.  
736. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-early-puberty-anxiety">Early Puberty: Anxiety<br><br></h2>
737.  
738.  
739.  
740. <p>Hormones play a role in the development of anxiety and hormonal changes can start in the early part of puberty, as young as 6-years-old. The amygdala is a main brain region involved in the development of anxiety; it detects threat and cues the body to respond accordingly. In boys, the hormones released during the early phase of puberty may impact the brain’s amygdala system to give rise to social anxiety, obsessive-compulsive symptoms, and panic or agoraphobia (i.e., the fear of closed or open spaces or of leaving the home). Similarly, in girls, the effects of early-puberty hormones on the amygdalar system may give rise to generalized anxiety symptoms. Here, the bottom line is that the hormones released during the early part of puberty may lead to anxiety.<br><br></p>
741.  
742.  
743.  
744. <p>As a quick side note, for anyone interested in learning more about the role of the amygdala in mental health symptoms, check out the Provans’ <em><a href="https://amzn.to/40yJo5o" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Poppy and the Overactive Amygdala</a></em>. It tells the story of Poppy and how her overactive amygdala affects her emotions and relationships. It is written in simple language to appeal to a wide range of ages (though it’s likely to be too technical for younger children) and is a great resource for children and caregivers to gain insight into the brain basis of mental health symptoms. <em><a href="https://amzn.to/40yJo5o" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Poppy and the Overactive Amygdala</a></em> conveys the important message that mental health conditions are brain-based diseases, not diseases of choice.<br><br><br></p>
745.  
746.  
747.  
748. <script async="" src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404" crossorigin="anonymous"></script>
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750. <script>
751.     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
752. </script>
753.  
754.  
755.  
756. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-early-puberty-emotions-and-behaviors"><br>Early Puberty: Emotions and Behaviors<br><br></h2>
757.  
758.  
759.  
760. <p>In addition, the early phase of puberty may bring on emotional and behavioral problems.</p>
761.  
762.  
763.  
764. <p>In boys, the hormones of early puberty may be associated with:</p>
765.  
766.  
767.  
768. <ol type="1">
769. <li>Emotional problems: worries, unhappiness, nervousness, and fearfulness</li>
770.  
771.  
772.  
773. <li>Peer relationship problems: preferring to play alone, fights with other children, bullying or being bullied</li>
774.  
775.  
776.  
777. <li>Conduct problems: tantrums, fighting, lying, and stealing</li>
778. </ol>
779.  
780.  
781.  
782. <p>In girls, early-puberty hormones may be associated with peer relationship problems.<br><br><br></p>
783.  
784.  
785.  
786. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-early-puberty-and-mental-health">Early Puberty and Mental Health<br><br></h2>
787.  
788.  
789.  
790. <p>So, we’ve established that the early phase of puberty may be a player in the development of anxiety and emotional and behavioral symptoms. But who cares?&nbsp; First, just knowing this helps us understand our 6 -to-9-year-old kids better; to the extent that understanding breeds compassion and helps us manage how we react to our kids, gaining insight into our kids’ development is always a good thing.<br><br></p>
791.  
792.  
793.  
794. <p>Also, it’s important to realize that the early phase of puberty is a vulnerable time for kids emotionally; therefore, it may offer a critical window to prevent the development of mental health disorders. For instance, it is well-established that conflict with peers, such as bullying, is associated with mental health problems. Intervention aimed at mitigating peer problems before or during early puberty may prevent the development of mental health conditions in affected kids.<br><br><br><br></p>
795.  
796.  
797.  
798. <script async="" src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404" crossorigin="anonymous"></script>
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800. <script>
801.     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
802. </script>
803.  
804.  
805.  
806. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-emotional-and-behavioral-changes-in-early-puberty-what-should-i-do"><br><br>Emotional and Behavioral Changes in Early Puberty: What Should I Do?<br><br></h2>
807.  
808.  
809.  
810. <p>While all kids experience hormonal change in early puberty, some will also experience emotional and behavioral changes or anxiety. &nbsp;Because this may be a vulnerable time for the development of a mental health disorder, please seek an evaluation if you have concerns about your child. Your pediatrician is a good place to start.<br><br></p>
811.  
812.  
813.  
814. <p>Alongside an evaluation and recommended treatments, <a href="https://mommypsych.com/noooooooo/">work to connect</a> with your child. Keep the lines of communication open. For younger children, <a href="https://mommypsych.com/parent-child-interaction-therapy/">parent-child interaction techniques</a> may be helpful. &nbsp;If your child experiences anxiety, check out these articles to learn more about how to help: <a href="https://mommypsych.com/avoid-avoidance/">Avoid Avoidance</a> and <a href="https://mommypsych.com/anxiety-in-children/">Anxiety in Children</a>.  Above all, <a href="https://mommypsych.com/the-importance-of-validating-your-childs-emotions/">validate your child’s feelings</a> and provide unconditional love and support.<br><br><br></p>
815.  
816.  
817.  
818. <p>Brave parents and caregivers,<br><br></p>
819.  
820.  
821.  
822. <p>If your child&#8217;s heightened emotions remind you of a teenager’s, it’s not just your imagination; hormonal changes during early puberty may be contributing. Approach with love, understanding, and compassion &#8211;your support will go a long way toward helping your child during this challenging time.<br><br></p>
823.  
824.  
825.  
826. <p>Until next time,<br><br></p>
827.  
828.  
829. <div class="wp-block-image">
830. <figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="308" height="198" src="https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9.png" alt="" class="wp-image-554" srcset="https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9.png 308w, https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9-300x193.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 308px) 100vw, 308px" /></figure></div>
831.  
832.  
833. <p></p>
834.  
835.  
836.  
837. <p>References</p>
838.  
839.  
840.  
841. <ol type="1">
842. <li>Marjolein EA, Simmons JG, Byrne ML, et al. (2018). Associations between adrenarcheal hormones, amygdala functional connectivity and anxiety symptoms in children. <em>Psychoneuroendocrinology. </em>97: 156-163.</li>
843.  
844.  
845.  
846. <li>Mundy LK, Romaniuk H, M.Biostat LC, et al. (2015). Adrenarche and the emotional and behavioral problems of late childhood. <em>Journal of Adolescent Health</em>. 57: 608-616.<br><br></li>
847. </ol>
848.  
849.  
850.  
851. <iframe sandbox="allow-popups allow-scripts allow-modals allow-forms allow-same-origin" style="width:120px;height:240px;" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&amp;OneJS=1&amp;Operation=GetAdHtml&amp;MarketPlace=US&amp;source=ss&amp;ref=as_ss_li_til&amp;ad_type=product_link&amp;tracking_id=farrowje-20&amp;language=en_US&amp;marketplace=amazon&amp;region=US&amp;placement=1672102103&amp;asins=1672102103&amp;linkId=aa7a87cc2ca3893418b7c70d0574bc71&amp;show_border=true&amp;link_opens_in_new_window=true"></iframe>
852. <p>The post <a href="https://mommypsych.com/why-is-my-child-acting-like-a-teenager/">Why Is My Child Acting Like a Teenager?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://mommypsych.com">MommyPsych</a>.</p>
853. ]]></content:encoded>
857. </item>
858. <item>
859. <title>Talking to Children about Death</title>
860. <link>https://mommypsych.com/talking-to-children-about-death/</link>
862. <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jenni Farrow]]></dc:creator>
863. <pubDate>Sun, 26 Mar 2023 02:58:21 +0000</pubDate>
864. <category><![CDATA[Early Childhood Development]]></category>
865. <category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
866. <guid isPermaLink="false">https://mommypsych.com/?p=1326</guid>
867.  
868. <description><![CDATA[<p>Hello brave parents and caregivers, Laugh if you must, but I’m attached to our pet fish. The simplicity and grace with which they go about their existence brings me calm. In fact, while writing these articles and grappling with finding the right word or overcoming writer’s block, I look to our fish for inspiration. What [&#8230;]</p>
869. <p>The post <a href="https://mommypsych.com/talking-to-children-about-death/">Talking to Children about Death</a> appeared first on <a href="https://mommypsych.com">MommyPsych</a>.</p>
870. ]]></description>
871. <content:encoded><![CDATA[
872. <p><br>Hello brave parents and caregivers,<br><br></p>
873.  
874.  
875.  
876. <p>Laugh if you must, but I’m attached to our pet fish. The simplicity and grace with which they go about their existence brings me calm. In fact, while writing these articles and grappling with finding the right word or overcoming writer’s block, I look to our fish for inspiration. What would they do? Just be, relax, go with the flow. Okay, got it.&nbsp;<br><br></p>
877.  
878.  
879.  
880. <p><br>Well, I’m sad to share that two of our beloved fish recently died. Admittedly, for a little while, I felt a bit empty without them. We had a burial “ceremony” in the backyard; seconds later, my daughter laughed and sang as she played on her swing. I understand they’re fish, but is more reflecting in order? Like even for a minute?<br><br></p>
881.  
882.  
883.  
884. <p>I couldn’t help but wonder if her response was “normal” (read: oh my, have I failed to instill any sense of empathy at all?). It turns out, there is no normal when it comes to how children respond to death.<br><br></p>
885.  
886.  
887.  
888. <p>Parents and caregivers, whether you’ve lost a pet or a human loved one, it’s no picnic discussing death with children. Read on for tips about how to handle these challenging discussions.<br><br></p>
889.  
890.  
891.  
892. <p><br></p>
893.  
894.  
895.  
896. <script async="" src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404" crossorigin="anonymous"></script>
897. <ins class="adsbygoogle" style="display:block; text-align:center;" data-ad-layout="in-article" data-ad-format="fluid" data-ad-client="ca-pub-5964611917714404" data-ad-slot="1933161050"></ins>
898. <script>
899.     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
900. </script>
901.  
902.  
903.  
904. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-should-we-talk-to-children-about-death"><br>Should We Talk to Children about Death?<br><br></h2>
905.  
906.  
907.  
908. <p>The short answer is yes, we should. Children are astute observers who already know that death exists. They have seen dead insects or birds in the yard or are familiar with death from stories they’ve read or video games. By talking to our children about death, we can gain insight into their worries and provide education and comfort.<br><br></p>
909.  
910.  
911.  
912. <p>That doesn’t mean it’s easy. I’d venture to say that most adults aren’t that comfortable talking about death – it brings on feelings of fear and distress and most of us aren’t exactly experts on the subject. However, avoiding talking about it communicates to our children that it must be bad or that it will make us sad if <em>they </em>talk about it. This can cause undue worry and keep children from sharing their feelings.<br><br><br></p>
913.  
914.  
915.  
916. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-how-to-talk-to-children-about-death">How to Talk to Children about Death<br><br></h2>
917.  
918.  
919.  
920. <p>As with most aspects of parenting, talking to children about death is a delicate balance: Encouraging communication while not deluging them with too much information or information they cannot understand.<br><br></p>
921.  
922.  
923.  
924. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-5-general-tips"><br><strong>5 General Tips</strong><br></h3>
925.  
926.  
927.  
928. <ol type="1">
929. <li>Maintain an open and nonjudgmental stance that encourages communication.</li>
930.  
931.  
932.  
933. <li>Stay attuned to your child; talk when she is ready.<br></li>
934.  
935.  
936.  
937. <li>Listen carefully, accept and <a href="https://mommypsych.com/the-importance-of-validating-your-childs-emotions/">validate</a> her feelings, whatever they may be.<br></li>
938.  
939.  
940.  
941. <li>Be honest. Death is uncertain; if you don’t know how to answer a child’s question, it’s okay to say, “I don’t know the answer to that one”.<br></li>
942.  
943.  
944.  
945. <li>Use simple, age-appropriate language that is brief and to the point. For younger children, it may be helpful to explain death in terms of the absence of functions (e.g., when plants die they do not grow anymore; when dogs die they do not bark anymore; when people die they do not eat or talk anymore).<br><br><br></li>
946. </ol>
947.  
948.  
949.  
950. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-take-your-child-s-developmental-stage-into-account"><strong>Take Your Child’s Developmental Stage Into Account</strong><br><br></h3>
951.  
952.  
953.  
954. <p>It’s also important to consider where he is in his development. For instance, a preschool child may see death as reversible and temporary, similar to cartoon characters he has watched magically recover after being smashed to pieces. &nbsp;<br><br></p>
955.  
956.  
957.  
958. <p>Between 5 and 9 years of age, most children develop an understanding that death is final, though they may continue to believe they will figure out a way to escape it. During this stage, they associate death with a human-like images, like a skeleton. Some kids may have nightmares of these images.<br><br></p>
959.  
960.  
961.  
962. <p><br><br>From about 9 years of age through adolescence, kids begin to understand that death is irreversible and that they, too, will die. Adolescents may respond to a fear of death by taking untoward risks as a way to confront death and to feel as if they have “control” of their mortality. Others may begin to develop their own existential views about the meaning of life.<br><br><br></p>
963.  
964.  
965.  
966. <script async="" src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404" crossorigin="anonymous"></script>
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968. <script>
969.     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
970. </script>
971.  
972.  
973.  
974. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-to-handle-a-child-s-response-to-death"><br><strong>How to Handle a Child’s Response to Death</strong><br><br></h3>
975.  
976.  
977.  
978. <p>Each child is unique and has her own way of experiencing emotions; as a result, children can have variable and unexpected responses to death. For us parents, the key is to remain open and accepting of any and all reactions they may have.<br><br><br></p>
979.  
980.  
981.  
982. <h4 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-questions-and-reactions">Questions and Reactions<br><br></h4>
983.  
984.  
985.  
986. <ul>
987. <li>Some children may ask questions immediately while others may stay quiet but come back later with questions. Because children learn through repetition, they often need to ask questions and hear answers again and again. Stay patient and check back to make sure they understood what you said.<br><br></li>
988.  
989.  
990.  
991. <li>Children may react strongly to the death of their cat, but express less concern about the death of a grandparent. Or, they may appear completely unconcerned about death. Regardless, remain nonjudgmental; <a href="https://mommypsych.com/the-importance-of-validating-your-childs-emotions/">validate</a> their feelings and avoid telling them how they should feel.<br><br></li>
992.  
993.  
994.  
995. <li>Children may act out death through play rather than discussing it; for example, they may work through the emotions of a death by pretending their stuffed animal has died. Carefully listen and observe for clues about your child’s feelings. &nbsp;<br><br><br></li>
996. </ul>
997.  
998.  
999.  
1000. <h4 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-emotions">Emotions</h4>
1001.  
1002.  
1003.  
1004. <ul>
1005. <li>Children may not understand the emotions people have about death; for instance, if they ask why you’re crying, a helpful answer might be: “I am sad that Uncle Tim died. We all feel sad when someone we care about dies”.<br><br></li>
1006.  
1007.  
1008.  
1009. <li>Children may experience fear about the separation aspect of death. If a young child asks, “When will you die?”, digging deeper and asking if she is worried that you will not be there to take care of her may be helpful. &nbsp;If so, reassure her: “I expect to be here for a long time to take care of you. If I do die, there are a lot of people who will take care of you, like Dad, Grandma, or Aunt Rose”.<br><br></li>
1010.  
1011.  
1012.  
1013. <li>Children may not be mature enough to process a loss until they are adolescents. Therefore, they may express sadness at unexpected moments on and off over a long period of time. Remain patient and understanding.<br><br></li>
1014.  
1015.  
1016.  
1017. <li>Anger is natural part of grieving. Children may openly express anger about the death of a loved one. Accept their feelings without reprimand.<br><br></li>
1018.  
1019.  
1020.  
1021. <li>Children under stress may regress to an earlier stage of development, such as bed-wetting. Provide support and nurturance; regressions are typically temporary.<br><br><br></li>
1022. </ul>
1023.  
1024.  
1025.  
1026. <h4 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-misperceptions">Misperceptions</h4>
1027.  
1028.  
1029.  
1030. <ul>
1031. <li>Children may confuse death with sleep, especially when they hear phrases like “rest in peace”. This could lead to resisting going to bed. Avoid using sleep references when discussing death with a child.<br><br></li>
1032.  
1033.  
1034.  
1035. <li>Children tend to generalize. &nbsp;Be specific when possible. For instance, if you tell a child that sickness is the cause of death, to prevent undue worry about any sickness, explain that it is usually very serious illnesses that result in death.<br><br></li>
1036.  
1037.  
1038.  
1039. <li>Young children cannot grasp cause and effect and may believe they are responsible for a loved one’s death (i.e., believing that their grandparent died because they had yelled). Be mindful of this. Assure the child she is unconditionally loved. If appropriate, explain the circumstances of the death in simple terms.<br><br><br></li>
1040. </ul>
1041.  
1042.  
1043.  
1044. <script async="" src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404" crossorigin="anonymous"></script>
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1046. <script>
1047.     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
1048. </script>
1049.  
1050.  
1051.  
1052. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-books-to-help-children-understand-death"><br>Books to Help Children Understand Death<br><br></h2>
1053.  
1054.  
1055.  
1056. <p>There are many books available to help parents navigate the topic of death with their children. One of my favorites, Seidler’s <em><a href="https://amzn.to/3z5AOPC" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">When Someone You Loved Has Died</a>, </em>uses simple rhyming language to help young children understand the death of a human loved one. It highlights the importance of accepting and validating emotions about death and reviews new experiences a child may have during this time, including attending a funeral and receiving visitors to his home.<br><br></p>
1057.  
1058.  
1059.  
1060. <p>Also, Karst’s <em><a href="https://amzn.to/42FR4V2" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Invisible String</a></em> is a beautiful book that offers comfort to children during times of separation or loss, reminding them they are always connected to those they love even when they cannot physically be together. &nbsp;<br><br></p>
1061.  
1062.  
1063.  
1064. <p><br><br>Brave parents and caregivers,<br><br></p>
1065.  
1066.  
1067.  
1068. <p>Death is a part of life and kids may have a lot of questions, emotions, and misperceptions about it. Get comfortable with your own feelings and perspectives on death; how you talk about it with your child may stick with him. Keep in mind that each child is an individual who may respond to death in a unique or unexpected way—that is okay.<br><br></p>
1069.  
1070.  
1071.  
1072. <p>Provide an open space for children to share their feelings. &nbsp;When they feel safe to express themselves, it gives you the best opportunity to support them as they work through experiencing a loss. You got this!<br><br></p>
1073.  
1074.  
1075.  
1076. <p>Until next time,<br></p>
1077.  
1078.  
1079.  
1080. <p><br></p>
1081.  
1082.  
1083. <div class="wp-block-image">
1084. <figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="308" height="198" src="https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9.png" alt="" class="wp-image-554" srcset="https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9.png 308w, https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9-300x193.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 308px) 100vw, 308px" /></figure></div>
1085.  
1086.  
1087. <p>Reference:</p>
1088.  
1089.  
1090.  
1091. <p>Talking to Children About Death. <em>Patient Information Publications.</em> National Institutes of Health, p 1-10.<br><br></p>
1092.  
1093.  
1094.  
1095. <div id="wp-block-themeisle-blocks-advanced-columns-36b05ef1" class="wp-block-themeisle-blocks-advanced-columns has-2-columns has-desktop-equal-layout has-tablet-equal-layout has-mobile-collapsedRows-layout has-vertical-unset"><div class="wp-block-themeisle-blocks-advanced-columns-overlay"></div><div class="innerblocks-wrap">
1096. <div id="wp-block-themeisle-blocks-advanced-column-94286c14" class="wp-block-themeisle-blocks-advanced-column">
1097. <iframe sandbox="allow-popups allow-scripts allow-modals allow-forms allow-same-origin" style="width:120px;height:240px;" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&amp;OneJS=1&amp;Operation=GetAdHtml&amp;MarketPlace=US&amp;source=ss&amp;ref=as_ss_li_til&amp;ad_type=product_link&amp;tracking_id=farrowje-20&amp;language=en_US&amp;marketplace=amazon&amp;region=US&amp;placement=031648623X&amp;asins=031648623X&amp;linkId=3a9468ebc4c90f3fada957ff4fa02c52&amp;show_border=true&amp;link_opens_in_new_window=true"></iframe>
1098. </div>
1099.  
1100.  
1101.  
1102. <div id="wp-block-themeisle-blocks-advanced-column-116cb206" class="wp-block-themeisle-blocks-advanced-column">
1103. <iframe sandbox="allow-popups allow-scripts allow-modals allow-forms allow-same-origin" style="width:120px;height:240px;" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&amp;OneJS=1&amp;Operation=GetAdHtml&amp;MarketPlace=US&amp;source=ss&amp;ref=as_ss_li_til&amp;ad_type=product_link&amp;tracking_id=farrowje-20&amp;language=en_US&amp;marketplace=amazon&amp;region=US&amp;placement=1736518372&amp;asins=1736518372&amp;linkId=04210eedaae8950978096b48ece6b34c&amp;show_border=true&amp;link_opens_in_new_window=true"></iframe>
1104. </div>
1105. </div></div>
1106. <p>The post <a href="https://mommypsych.com/talking-to-children-about-death/">Talking to Children about Death</a> appeared first on <a href="https://mommypsych.com">MommyPsych</a>.</p>
1107. ]]></content:encoded>
1111. </item>
1112. <item>
1113. <title>Helping Kids with Separation Anxiety</title>
1114. <link>https://mommypsych.com/helping-kids-with-separation-anxiety/</link>
1116. <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jenni Farrow]]></dc:creator>
1117. <pubDate>Sun, 19 Mar 2023 00:47:36 +0000</pubDate>
1118. <category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category>
1119. <guid isPermaLink="false">https://mommypsych.com/?p=1265</guid>
1120.  
1121. <description><![CDATA[<p>Hello brave parents and caregivers, It is common for parents to struggle to help children with separation anxiety. And it can be so heart-wrenching. On the one hand, you know it’s important for your child to make new friends and enjoy experiences outside your home, while on the other, it’s so tough not to scoop [&#8230;]</p>
1122. <p>The post <a href="https://mommypsych.com/helping-kids-with-separation-anxiety/">Helping Kids with Separation Anxiety</a> appeared first on <a href="https://mommypsych.com">MommyPsych</a>.</p>
1123. ]]></description>
1124. <content:encoded><![CDATA[
1125. <p>Hello brave parents and caregivers,<br><br></p>
1126.  
1127.  
1128.  
1129. <p>It is common for parents to struggle to help children with separation anxiety. And it can be so heart-wrenching. On the one hand, you know it’s important for your child to make new friends and enjoy experiences outside your home, while on the other, it’s so tough not to scoop him back up and take him with you when he clings to you as you say your good-byes.<br></p>
1130.  
1131.  
1132.  
1133. <p>Separation anxiety is developmentally normal and usually diminishes as a child matures, typically around the age of 3-years-old. I distinctly remember the tearful “mama!”s&nbsp; after dropping my daughter off to her 2-year-old school program. I deeply felt the tension: I knew it was important for my daughter to gain mastery of navigating her environment without me; but I felt <em>terrible</em> walking away from her.<br><br></p>
1134.  
1135.  
1136.  
1137. <p><br><br><br></p>
1138.  
1139.  
1140.  
1141. <script async="" src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404" crossorigin="anonymous"></script>
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1143. <script>
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1145. </script>
1146.  
1147.  
1148.  
1149. <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-separation-anxiety-versus-separation-anxiety-disorder"><br><br>Separation Anxiety versus Separation Anxiety Disorder<br><br></h2>
1150.  
1151.  
1152.  
1153. <p>While <a href="https://mommypsych.com/social-and-emotional-development-in-early-childhood/">separation anxiety is normal in early childhood</a>, persistent distress upon separation inappropriate for a child’s age or developmental level may be separation anxiety <em>disorder</em>. Separation anxiety disorder is the most commonly diagnosed and impairing childhood anxiety disorder; because it can lead to avoidance of experiences necessary for favorable development, it has the potential to disrupt a child’s social and emotional functioning.<br><br><br><br></p>
1154.  
1155.  
1156.  
1157. <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-what-is-separation-anxiety-disorder">What is Separation Anxiety Disorder?<br><br></h2>
1158.  
1159.  
1160.  
1161. <p>Separation anxiety disorder is “<em>developmentally inappropriate </em>and excessive anxiety concerning separation from home or from those to whom the individual is attached”.<br></p>
1162.  
1163.  
1164.  
1165. <p>Children with separation anxiety disorder worry about harm befalling an attachment figure or experiencing an untoward event that could lead to separation. Also, they are reluctant or unwilling to go out, go to school, or to sleep alone; they fear being alone, and may experience nightmares about separation and/or physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches leading up to or at the time of separation.<br><br><br></p>
1166.  
1167.  
1168.  
1169. <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-what-causes-separation-anxiety-disorder">What Causes Separation Anxiety Disorder?<br><br></h2>
1170.  
1171.  
1172.  
1173. <p>Like most mental health conditions, separation anxiety disorder develops from an interaction between biology and environment. Genetics plays a role, as does a child’s temperament. Environment can also be influential. For instance, an overprotective or authoritarian parenting style that prevents a child from achieving a sense of mastery over age-appropriate activities or from participating in her own decision-making communicates that she not capable of navigating her environment, which may lead to the development of anxiety. &nbsp;On the other hand, well-supported parental guidance that fosters a sense of autonomy builds a child&#8217;s confidence in her capabilities and strengthens her resilience to the development of separation anxiety disorder. </p>
1174.  
1175.  
1176.  
1177. <p></p>
1178.  
1179.  
1180.  
1181. <p><br><br><br></p>
1182.  
1183.  
1184.  
1185. <script async="" src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404" crossorigin="anonymous"></script>
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1187. <script>
1188.     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
1189. </script>
1190.  
1191.  
1192.  
1193. <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-the-effects-of-separation-anxiety-disorder"><br><br>The Effects of Separation Anxiety Disorder<br><br></h2>
1194.  
1195.  
1196.  
1197. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-avoidance"><strong>Avoidance</strong></h3>
1198.  
1199.  
1200.  
1201. <p>A common feature of separation anxiety disorder is <a href="https://mommypsych.com/avoid-avoidance/">avoidance</a>, which for families is often very challenging. A child who fears something terrible will happen if he is separated from a parent may struggle to participate in activities such as sports or dance. Or, he may resist going to school. Avoiding participation in developmentally-appropriate activities with peers may impair a child&#8217;s social-emotional development. <br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
1202.  
1203.  
1204.  
1205. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-physical-symptoms-and-sleep-problems"><strong>Physical Symptoms and Sleep Problems</strong></h3>
1206.  
1207.  
1208.  
1209. <p><br>Physical symptoms, such as headaches and stomachaches, are another common feature of separation anxiety disorder. They may crop up in anticipation of or at the time of separation; they can be related to true physical distress or an attempt at avoidance. Children with separation anxiety disorder may <a href="https://mommypsych.com/helping-children-with-sleep/">struggle with bedtime</a> including experiencing nightmares or having difficulty sleeping alone—both of which may impact sleep.<br></p>
1210.  
1211.  
1212.  
1213. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-family-challenges"><strong>Family </strong>Challenges</h3>
1214.  
1215.  
1216.  
1217. <p>Separation-related distress can bring up  conflicting emotions for parents— “I need to leave for work, but omg he’s so upset (Am I a terrible mother if I go to work?)&#8230; but I really need to go, I’m going to be late for a meeting, but…”. This can be <em>stressful</em>. To alleviate a child’s distress, parents may make accommodations like forgoing going out to avoid leaving the child with a sitter, impacting their quality of life.<br><br><br></p>
1218.  
1219.  
1220.  
1221. <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-treatment-of-separation-anxiety-disorder">&nbsp;<br>Treatment of Separation Anxiety Disorder<br><br></h2>
1222.  
1223.  
1224.  
1225. <p>Keep in mind that separation anxiety <em>disorder</em> may not be a phase. Around one-third of children with untreated separation anxiety disorder will go on to experience it in adolescence and adulthood. Also, there is some evidence suggesting that childhood separation anxiety disorder is associated with other anxiety and depressive disorders in adolescence and adulthood, including panic disorder and agoraphobia.</p>
1226.  
1227.  
1228.  
1229. <p>So, if you suspect your child is experiencing separation anxiety disorder, what should you do? An assessment with your pediatrician is a good place to start, particularly if your child reports physical symptoms &#8212;it’s a good idea to rule out potential medical causes.<br><br><br></p>
1230.  
1231.  
1232.  
1233. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-cognitive-behavioral-therapy"><strong>Cognitive Behavioral Therapy</strong><br><br></h3>
1234.  
1235.  
1236.  
1237. <p>Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is the mainstay of treatment for separation anxiety disorder; it is based on cognitive restructuring, <a href="https://mommypsych.com/anxiety-in-children/">exposure</a>, and relaxation techniques.</p>
1238.  
1239.  
1240.  
1241. <p></p>
1242.  
1243.  
1244.  
1245. <p>Lavallee and Schneider’s <em><a href="https://amzn.to/40mJFrT" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">What to Do When You Don’t Want to Be Apart: A Kid&#8217;s Guide to Overcoming Separation Anxiety</a></em> is a workbook based on CBT tenets that is designed for parents and children to complete together. It teaches kids about their scared feelings, educates about how to reframe anxious thoughts (e.g., my mom might get hurt while she is out) into more realistic thoughts (e.g., my mom will have a nice time out at dinner with her friend) and offers exposure lessons to help kids practice separating from their parents.<br><br><br></p>
1246.  
1247.  
1248.  
1249. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-is-exposure-based-therapy"><strong>What is Exposure-Based Therapy?</strong><br></h3>
1250.  
1251.  
1252.  
1253. <p>When I was a doctor-in-training, I worked with a distraught family whose son with separation anxiety disorder struggled to go to school. Struggling to know how to help, I met with my supervising doctor who offered only one recommendation: Help him get back to school as soon as possible.<br></p>
1254.  
1255.  
1256.  
1257. <p>Um, okay, easier said than done. But he was right. Avoiding anxiety-provoking situations again and again causes anxiety to grow. <a href="https://mommypsych.com/anxiety-in-children/">Exposure-based therapy</a> can be instrumental in breaking this cycle. So how does it work? &nbsp;<br></p>
1258.  
1259.  
1260.  
1261. <p>It goes something like this:<br></p>
1262.  
1263.  
1264.  
1265. <ol type="1">
1266. <li>A child and parent work together on a “bravery ladder” by listing separation situations that are anxiety-provoking, from least scary (e.g., being across the room from mom for 5 minutes) to most scary (e.g., spending the night at Grandma’s house).<br><br></li>
1267.  
1268.  
1269.  
1270. <li>With the help of his parents, the child practices these situations one &#8220;rung&#8221; at a time using relaxation techniques and cognitive restructuring to help him along the way.<br><br></li>
1271.  
1272.  
1273.  
1274. <li>With practice, he learns that he is capable of managing in an environment without his parents and that his fears are unlikely to be realized. As a result, separation becomes easier and easier.<br><br></li>
1275. </ol>
1276.  
1277.  
1278.  
1279. <p><em><a href="https://amzn.to/40mJFrT" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">What to Do When You Don’t Want to Be Apart: A Kid&#8217;s Guide to Overcoming Separation Anxiety</a></em> offers a child-friendly approach to exposure exercises to help kids with separation anxiety (with one caveat: planning a special dinner is suggested as a reward; I’m not one to connect food with rewards. If you’re interested in learning why, please read here: <a href="https://mommypsych.com/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-food/">How to Talk to Kids About Food</a>.)</p>
1280.  
1281.  
1282.  
1283. <p>Though these CBT techniques may help provide guidance for parents trying to help their kids with separation anxiety disorder, they are not a substitute for formal participation in therapy. <br><br></p>
1284.  
1285.  
1286.  
1287. <script async="" src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404" crossorigin="anonymous"></script>
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1289. <script>
1290.     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
1291. </script>
1292.  
1293.  
1294.  
1295. <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center" id="h-practical-tips-to-alleviate-separation-anxiety"><br><br>Practical Tips to Alleviate Separation Anxiety<br></h2>
1296.  
1297.  
1298.  
1299. <p>Separation anxiety is different from separation anxiety disorder&#8211; it is a developmentally normal phase that diminishes as a child matures. That said, CBT techniques (and <em>What to Do When You Don&#8217;t Want to Be Apart: A Kid&#8217;s Guide to Overcoming Separation Anxiety</em>) may be useful in helping children with separation anxiety. <br></p>
1300.  
1301.  
1302.  
1303. <p>These tips may also be helpful: <br><br>1. <a href="https://mommypsych.com/the-importance-of-validating-your-childs-emotions/">Validate</a> your child&#8217;s worried feelings about separation. After all, your child loves and depends on you more than anyone; it&#8217;s only natural she should feel anxious about being apart from you. <br><br>2. Develop a succinct good-bye routine.  Practice it before using it at separation time. For example: a hug, an “I love you” and a “I’ll see you soon”. It is helpful to separate when the routine is complete.. Prolonging the good-bye with added hugs and kisses may make separation more difficult.<br><br>3. Remind your child often that mom and dad always comes back.<br></p>
1304.  
1305.  
1306.  
1307. <p>4. Read Karst’s <em><a href="https://amzn.to/40gdPgq" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Invisible String</a></em> or Penn&#8217;s <em><a href="https://amzn.to/3HKjtAs" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Kissing Hand</a> </em>with your child. These books help children to understand that they’re always connected to the ones they love, even if they are not physically together.<br></p>
1308.  
1309.  
1310.  
1311. <p>5. Remain mindful of your own anxiety ( we&#8217;ve all been there!). Prolonged or emotional good-byes may communicate to your child that there is indeed something to worry about when she is away from you. Try to project calm and confidence at separation time, even if you don’t feel that way.<br></p>
1312.  
1313.  
1314.  
1315. <p>6. If possible, create opportunities for other trusted adults to watch your children every so often. If it makes you anxious for other adults to watch your child, it may help to start with small steps, like a trusted grandparent or baby-sitter playing with your child in a separate room while you’re home. The more a child grows accustomed to being cared for by other loving adults, the easier it will be for her to be away from you.<br></p>
1316.  
1317.  
1318.  
1319. <p>7. Reinforce (safe) instances when your child takes the initiative to separate from you. For example, if she decides to walk away from you to grab a new book at the library (while remaining within your eyesight) <a href="https://mommypsych.com/parent-child-interaction-therapy/">provide her with labeled praise</a> for getting her own book without your help. <br><br>8. Engage your child in positive talk. Talk to her about how fun it is to learn new things at school or how cool it is to play hide-and-seek with her baby-sitter.<br></p>
1320.  
1321.  
1322.  
1323. <p>9. Avoid &#8220;sneaking&#8221; away when your child is occupied with something else. This may erode trust.<br></p>
1324.  
1325.  
1326.  
1327. <p>10. Continue to communicate your unconditional love and support. Strengthen your relationship through intentional connection (<a href="https://mommypsych.com/parent-child-interaction-therapy/">5 minutes of special play time per day can be helpful</a>). Knowing she has a safe base to return to will increase your child&#8217;s confidence when it comes to separating from you. <br></p>
1328.  
1329.  
1330.  
1331. <p>11. Make a visual schedule. Velcro pictures or photographs of the main parts of your child&#8217;s day (e.g., breakfast, lunch, nap, play time, etc.) to a piece of poster board, making the last picture on the schedule yours. Your child can remove each one as that time passes. When she reaches your picture, it signals that it is the time of day when you pick her up or return home. A visual schedule empowers a child by providing a sense of time, consistency, and predictability. </p>
1332.  
1333.  
1334.  
1335. <p><br></p>
1336.  
1337.  
1338.  
1339. <p>Brave parents and caregivers,<br></p>
1340.  
1341.  
1342.  
1343. <p><a href="https://mommypsych.com/social-and-emotional-development-in-early-childhood/">Separation anxiety </a>can be a challenging phase in a child&#8217;s development. Your love and understanding will help support your child as he becomes more comfortable separating from you&#8212;and the skills he gains along the way will help to build his confidence and sense of self. <br></p>
1344.  
1345.  
1346.  
1347. <p>Until next time,<br><br></p>
1348.  
1349.  
1350. <div class="wp-block-image">
1351. <figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img decoding="async" width="308" height="198" src="https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-8.png" alt="" class="wp-image-542" srcset="https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-8.png 308w, https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-8-300x193.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 308px) 100vw, 308px" /></figure></div>
1352.  
1353.  
1354. <p>Reference:</p>
1355.  
1356.  
1357.  
1358. <p>Ehrenreich JT, Santucci LC, Weiner CL (2008). Separation anxiety disorder in youth: Phenomenology, assessment, and treatment. <em>Psicol Conductual.</em> 16 (3): 389-412.<br><br></p>
1359.  
1360.  
1361.  
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1365.  
1366. </div>
1367.  
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1370. <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow">
1371. <iframe sandbox="allow-popups allow-scripts allow-modals allow-forms allow-same-origin" style="width:120px;height:240px;" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&amp;OneJS=1&amp;Operation=GetAdHtml&amp;MarketPlace=US&amp;source=ss&amp;ref=as_ss_li_til&amp;ad_type=product_link&amp;tracking_id=farrowje-20&amp;language=en_US&amp;marketplace=amazon&amp;region=US&amp;placement=031648623X&amp;asins=031648623X&amp;linkId=106df40d90ae13505ccbf37b2f03c0a6&amp;show_border=true&amp;link_opens_in_new_window=true"></iframe>
1372.  
1373. </div>
1374.  
1375.  
1376.  
1377. <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow">
1378. <iframe sandbox="allow-popups allow-scripts allow-modals allow-forms allow-same-origin" style="width:120px;height:240px;" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&#038;OneJS=1&#038;Operation=GetAdHtml&#038;MarketPlace=US&#038;source=ss&#038;ref=as_ss_li_til&#038;ad_type=product_link&#038;tracking_id=farrowje-20&#038;language=en_US&#038;marketplace=amazon&#038;region=US&#038;placement=1933718005&#038;asins=1933718005&#038;linkId=15b25e2250c68590f12c7c03d992b5cf&#038;show_border=true&#038;link_opens_in_new_window=true"></iframe>
1379.  
1380. </div>
1381. </div>
1382. <p>The post <a href="https://mommypsych.com/helping-kids-with-separation-anxiety/">Helping Kids with Separation Anxiety</a> appeared first on <a href="https://mommypsych.com">MommyPsych</a>.</p>
1383. ]]></content:encoded>
1387. </item>
1388. <item>
1389. <title>Boredom in Kids</title>
1390. <link>https://mommypsych.com/boredom-in-kids/</link>
1392. <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jenni Farrow]]></dc:creator>
1393. <pubDate>Mon, 13 Mar 2023 01:48:49 +0000</pubDate>
1394. <category><![CDATA[Early Childhood Development]]></category>
1395. <guid isPermaLink="false">https://mommypsych.com/?p=1252</guid>
1396.  
1397. <description><![CDATA[<p>Hello brave parents and caregivers, Do you often get the “Mommy (or Daddy), I’m bored!” in your house? As I write this on a Friday, I imagine the weekend ahead: The long school week has passed; I’m off this weekend and ready to kick back with the excited anticipation of NOT making lunches for the [&#8230;]</p>
1398. <p>The post <a href="https://mommypsych.com/boredom-in-kids/">Boredom in Kids</a> appeared first on <a href="https://mommypsych.com">MommyPsych</a>.</p>
1399. ]]></description>
1400. <content:encoded><![CDATA[
1401. <p>Hello brave parents and caregivers,<br><br></p>
1402.  
1403.  
1404.  
1405. <p>Do you often get the “Mommy (or Daddy), I’m bored!” in your house? As I write this on a Friday, I imagine the weekend ahead: The long school week has passed; I’m off this weekend and ready to kick back with the excited anticipation of NOT making lunches for the next couple days and having some unstructured time to spend with my daughter. I think of how wonderful it’ll be to hang out and, well, just to BE.<br><br></p>
1406.  
1407.  
1408.  
1409. <p>Then I snap back to reality. I’m reminded of last weekend when, after spending a good amount of time together crafting, I snuck away to check Facebook only to be regaled with “Mom, I’m bored!” and “What should I do?”. Whatever satisfaction I felt for just having <a href="https://mommypsych.com/noooooooo/">spent connected</a> time with my daughter turned to deflation and, admittedly, frustration.<br><br></p>
1410.  
1411.  
1412.  
1413. <p>And so many questions (I ask myself)!  Why are you bored when you have so many toys?  We just had so much fun together, how is it possible to be bored already?<br><br></p>
1414.  
1415.  
1416.  
1417. <p>And what is a parent to do? I love spending quality time with my kid, but I have to <em>do </em>things, too, like laundry and cooking and Facebooking.<br><br></p>
1418.  
1419.  
1420.  
1421. <p>Parents, let’s take a closer look at boredom in kids. There may be more than meets the eye.<br><br><br></p>
1422.  
1423.  
1424.  
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1436.  
1437.  
1438.  
1439.  
1440. <p><br><br></p>
1441.  
1442.  
1443.  
1444. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-types-of-boredom-in-kids">Types of Boredom in Kids<br><br></h2>
1445.  
1446.  
1447.  
1448. <ol type="1">
1449. <li>One type is pretty straightforward. For one reason or another, sometimes children are not interested in their own ideas for entertaining themselves and feel the need to be entertained by someone or something outside of themselves.<br><br><br></li>
1450.  
1451.  
1452.  
1453. <li>Another type is less straightforward. Here, children may say they’re bored as a way to seek support for challenging feelings. In this case, reports of boredom may be a way to seek help for feeling sad, frightened, lonely, or ashamed. <sup>1</sup><br><br><br></li>
1454. </ol>
1455.  
1456.  
1457.  
1458. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-when-boredom-is-really-about-feelings">When Boredom is Really About Feelings</h2>
1459.  
1460.  
1461.  
1462. <p><br>Children have a myriad of ways of coping with inner feelings. As a way to overcome feelings of sadness, one child might engage in his favorite activity to experience joy. Another might work out worries through playing house with her dolls.<br><br></p>
1463.  
1464.  
1465.  
1466. <p>However, perhaps due to being tired or to especially intense feelings, sometimes children cannot manage their challenging inner feelings on their own. One way a child may communicate the need for help is to complain that he is bored.<br><br></p>
1467.  
1468.  
1469.  
1470. <p>In my case, my daughter’s report of “boredom” may have been related to missing me after having had such a fun time crafting together. After all, her threshold for managing hard feelings was probably low after a busy school week. Also, I was less present last weekend due to work obligations. Wait—was this her way of expressing she needed more mommy time?<br><br></p>
1471.  
1472.  
1473.  
1474. <p>Let’s imagine a child who just returned from a playdate at his friend’s house. He returns home with a “Mom, I’m bored” and she’s left scratching her head in disbelief that he is “already bored”.  But, the “boredom” might actually be <em>because</em> of the playdate. For instance, maybe he was scared or overstimulated by a video game he played with his friend or perhaps just worn out after playing all afternoon. His way of communicating a need for help or attention may be to report that he’s bored.<br><br><br></p>
1475.  
1476.  
1477.  
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1488. </script>
1489.  
1490.  
1491.  
1492.  
1493. <p><br></p>
1494.  
1495.  
1496.  
1497. <p><br>If we view boredom as a complex experience in children, how should we respond? The first step is to <a href="https://mommypsych.com/the-importance-of-validating-your-childs-emotions/">validate</a> the child’s experience, even when you may not completely understand the feelings behind the “boredom” ( i.e., try to refrain from asking the judgy questions). Something like, “it can be so hard to be bored” is a good place to start. Then, it’s helpful to try to identify the underlying feelings by listening carefully and exploring ideas about what’s behind the “boredom”. In my case, checking in on my daughter’s feelings about Mom working on a weekend revealed that she had been missing me.<br><br></p>
1498.  
1499.  
1500.  
1501. <p>While it can be difficult to pinpoint the reason behind “boredom”, making efforts to understand it and validating a child’s emotional experience can go a long way toward helping him work through challenging feelings and promoting his healthy emotional development.<br><br><br></p>
1502.  
1503.  
1504.  
1505. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-is-boredom-bad">Is Boredom Bad?<br><br></h2>
1506.  
1507.  
1508.  
1509. <p>On the other hand, sometimes kids who complain they’re bored feel understimulated, uninterested, or dissatisfied with their own ideas about what to do—a more straightforward type of boredom. This can cause discomfort or anxiety that also brings on the “Mommy ( or Daddy) I’m bored!”. I often feel pressure in these moments to engage my daughter in activities so as to relieve the discomfort and, to be honest, to squelch the “mom!” “mom!” “mom!”-ness of it all.<br><br><br></p>
1510.  
1511.  
1512.  
1513. <p>But then I remind myself—barring any concerns for other underlying difficult feelings&#8211;being bored is not such a bad thing. In fact, boredom in kids can be beneficial. Counterintuitive, right? Let’s take a look.<br><br><br></p>
1514.  
1515.  
1516.  
1517. <script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404"
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1527. </script>
1528.  
1529.  
1530.  
1531.  
1532. <p><br><br></p>
1533.  
1534.  
1535.  
1536. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-6-reasons-why-boredom-in-kids-can-be-good">6 Reasons Why Boredom in Kids Can Be GOOD<br><br></h2>
1537.  
1538.  
1539.  
1540. <ol type="1">
1541. <li>It is motivating. Boredom signals that something has to be changed. It alerts a child to think through new possibilities for making her situation more satisfactory.<sup> 2</sup><br><br></li>
1542.  
1543.  
1544.  
1545. <li>It bolsters imagination. Boredom puts pressure on a child to invent new activities or play experiences to rekindle his interest in his environment.<br><br></li>
1546.  
1547.  
1548.  
1549. <li>It provides insight into a child’s developing sense of self. Boredom invites opportunity for thought and reflection. For a child, this might mean having opportunity to develop a sense of her likes and dislikes as she gravitates toward preferred activities to relieve boredom.  This represents a step toward developing a sense of who she is as a person.<br><br></li>
1550.  
1551.  
1552.  
1553. <li>It stimulates creativity. In our children’s overscheduled lives, boredom is truly a lost art form. Unstructured free time stokes creativity: a stuffed panda and monkey sit down for tea, a cardboard box becomes a mobile nail salon, and a pinecone transforms into a piece of art. Now <em>this </em>is the productive work of childhood.<br><br></li>
1554.  
1555.  
1556.  
1557. <li>It enhances learning. Boredom breeds persistence and mind-wandering. Mind-wandering is associated with exploration and attentiveness that improves learning. <sup>3</sup><br><br></li>
1558.  
1559.  
1560.  
1561. <li>It develops autonomy. Allowing a child to be bored creates an environment in which a child is encouraged to pursue his own play and activities choices, which builds his sense of independence. And, conversely, as a child grows, having a strong sense of autonomy may help to ward off feelings of boredom. <br><br><br></li>
1562. </ol>
1563.  
1564.  
1565.  
1566. <p>Brave parents and caregivers,<br><br></p>
1567.  
1568.  
1569.  
1570. <p>When it comes to a child’s boredom, there is more than meets the eye. Boredom is actually a complex emotional experience that deserves a mindful response as any other feeling.<br><br></p>
1571.  
1572.  
1573.  
1574. <p>I understand that in reality we cannot always drop what we’re doing to devote our time to a bored child. I certainly cannot. But validating a child’s experience and making efforts to understand what underlies your child’s boredom can help her gain important skills to promote her healthy emotional development.<br><br></p>
1575.  
1576.  
1577.  
1578. <p>Until next time,</p>
1579.  
1580.  
1581. <div class="wp-block-image">
1582. <figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="308" height="198" src="https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9.png" alt="" class="wp-image-554" srcset="https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9.png 308w, https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9-300x193.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 308px) 100vw, 308px" /></figure></div>
1583.  
1584.  
1585. <p>References:</p>
1586.  
1587.  
1588.  
1589. <ol type="1">
1590. <li>The Lucy Daniels Center for Early Childhood (2003). “Mommy, I’m Bored!”. <a href="http://www.lucydanielscenter.org">www.lucydanielscenter.org</a>.</li>
1591.  
1592.  
1593.  
1594. <li>Belton T and Priyadharshini E (2010). Boredom and schooling: A cross-disciplinary exploration. <em>Camb J Educ.</em> 37: 579-595.</li>
1595.  
1596.  
1597.  
1598. <li>Khalaf S, Kilani H, Razo MB, and Grogorenko E (2022). Bored, Distracted, and Confused: Emotions That Promote Creativity and Learning in a 28-Month-Old Child Using an iPad. <em>J Intell.</em> 10: 118.</li>
1599. </ol>
1600. <p>The post <a href="https://mommypsych.com/boredom-in-kids/">Boredom in Kids</a> appeared first on <a href="https://mommypsych.com">MommyPsych</a>.</p>
1601. ]]></content:encoded>
1605. </item>
1606. <item>
1607. <title>Anxiety in Children</title>
1608. <link>https://mommypsych.com/anxiety-in-children/</link>
1610. <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jenni Farrow]]></dc:creator>
1611. <pubDate>Mon, 06 Mar 2023 00:17:04 +0000</pubDate>
1612. <category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category>
1613. <guid isPermaLink="false">https://mommypsych.com/?p=1228</guid>
1614.  
1615. <description><![CDATA[<p>Hello brave parents and caregivers, Is it just me, or is anxiety in full swing these days? Whether it’s friends’ kids who have trouble sleeping or patients worried about an upcoming school project it seems like anxiety is all around. &#160; Anxiety, worries, and, fear are common in childhood and may be exacerbated by academic [&#8230;]</p>
1616. <p>The post <a href="https://mommypsych.com/anxiety-in-children/">Anxiety in Children</a> appeared first on <a href="https://mommypsych.com">MommyPsych</a>.</p>
1617. ]]></description>
1618. <content:encoded><![CDATA[
1619. <p>Hello brave parents and caregivers,<br><br></p>
1620.  
1621.  
1622.  
1623. <p>Is it just me, or is anxiety in full swing these days? Whether it’s friends’ kids who have trouble sleeping or patients worried about an upcoming school project it seems like anxiety is all around. <br><br>&nbsp;</p>
1624.  
1625.  
1626.  
1627. <p>Anxiety, worries, and, fear are common in childhood and may be exacerbated by academic demands, troubled home environments, stressful peer interactions, or exposure to scary content, just to name a few.<br><br></p>
1628.  
1629.  
1630.  
1631. <p>Let’s take a close look at how to recognize and approach anxiety in children. &nbsp;&nbsp;<br><br><br><br></p>
1632.  
1633.  
1634.  
1635. <script async="" src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404" crossorigin="anonymous"></script>
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1637. <script>
1638.     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
1639. </script>
1640.  
1641.  
1642.  
1643. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-symptoms-of-anxiety-in-children"><br><strong>Symptoms of Anxiety in Children</strong><br><br><br></h2>
1644.  
1645.  
1646.  
1647. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-physical">Physical<br></h3>
1648.  
1649.  
1650.  
1651. <p>Dizziness, sweating, muscle tension, stomach upset, increased heart rate, bowel changes, shortness of breath, tingling feelings, nausea, feeling cold<br><br></p>
1652.  
1653.  
1654.  
1655. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-emotional">Emotional<br></h3>
1656.  
1657.  
1658.  
1659. <p>Feelings of dread, worry, panic, fear, irritability<br><br></p>
1660.  
1661.  
1662.  
1663. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-behavioral">Behavioral<br></h3>
1664.  
1665.  
1666.  
1667. <p><a href="https://mommypsych.com/avoid-avoidance/">Avoidance</a>, restlessness, distractibility, hypervigilance, &nbsp;inattention, outbursts, nail-biting, compulsions<br><br></p>
1668.  
1669.  
1670.  
1671. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-cognitive">Cognitive<br></h3>
1672.  
1673.  
1674.  
1675. <p>Catastrophic thinking, negative beliefs about the world, mistrust of one’s own coping ability<br><br></p>
1676.  
1677.  
1678.  
1679. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-interpersonal">Interpersonal<br></h3>
1680.  
1681.  
1682.  
1683. <p>Trouble participating in class, struggling during unstructured time (e.g., parties or recess), self-consciousness, high sensitivity to negative evaluation by others, trouble working in groups or participating in team sports<br><br></p>
1684.  
1685.  
1686.  
1687. <script async="" src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404" crossorigin="anonymous"></script>
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1689. <script>
1690.     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
1691. </script>
1692.  
1693.  
1694.  
1695. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-evaluation-of-anxiety-in-children"><br><strong>Evaluation of Anxiety in Children</strong><br><br></h2>
1696.  
1697.  
1698.  
1699. <p>With family and friends, I often find myself in a place of advocating for children who are described as “just shy” or who, filled with worry, can’t sleep the night before a test, but “that’s just the way he is”. Anxiety is impairing, distressing, and different than temperament.&nbsp; And, it is often not outgrown. Anxiety in childhood is associated with anxiety later in life, which can limit functioning in many spheres throughout adulthood. &nbsp;Fear lies at the root of anxiety and is a scary place for children and adults alike. Seriously, who wants to live in fear?<br><br><br></p>
1700.  
1701.  
1702.  
1703. <p>A mental health professional may start with a verbal interview to explore a child’s experience of anxiety. S/he may also provide rating scales for parents, teachers, and/or the child to help track symptom improvement. Also, please keep in mind that as a part of the assessment process, it’s a good idea seek a medical evaluation to rule out physical problems that may masquerade as anxiety.<br><br><br></p>
1704.  
1705.  
1706.  
1707. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-three-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-techniques-to-help-children-with-anxiety"><strong>Three Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Techniques to Help Children with Anxiety</strong><br><br><br><br></h2>
1708.  
1709.  
1710.  
1711. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-self-monitoring"><strong><u>Self-monitoring</u></strong><br><br></h3>
1712.  
1713.  
1714.  
1715. <p>The level of distress a child is experiencing can guide intervention. &nbsp;Remember that in a state of high emotional intensity it’s difficult to access the <a href="https://mommypsych.com/noooooooo/">“thinking” or rational brain</a>. &nbsp;A feelings thermometer can help. This is a 5-step, color-coded scale ranging from 1 (“I feel calm and in control”) to 5 (“I feel out of control”) replete with feelings faces for non-readers. If a child is in 4 or 5 territory, deep breathing is usually the starting point. Something along the lines of mindful, controlled breathing can be helpful: Inhale “calm” through the nose and exhale “worries” through the mouth while progressively relaxing different muscle groups. IMPORTANT: Practice deep breathing when a child is calm; this will make it easier to access this coping skill when emotions are heightened.<br><br><br></p>
1716.  
1717.  
1718.  
1719. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-cognitive-self-control"><strong><u>Cognitive Self-Control</u></strong><br></h3>
1720.  
1721.  
1722.  
1723. <p><br>Cognitive techniques improve coping, test inaccurate anxious thoughts, and increase control over worrying. Children with anxiety often don’t believe they have what it takes to cope with stress, making them feel incapable of managing life’s challenges. Not surprisingly, this breeds a ton of worry. Cognitive techniques empower them and lay the foundation for confidence<strong>, </strong>adaptability, and a sense of agency.<br><br></p>
1724.  
1725.  
1726.  
1727. <h4 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-talking-back-to-worries">Talking back to worries<br><br></h4>
1728.  
1729.  
1730.  
1731. <p>It’s important to remind kids that everyone gets scared sometimes, it’s a normal part of being human, and that scared feelings, like the wind, will pass.<br></p>
1732.  
1733.  
1734.  
1735. <p>Examples of how to talk back to worries:</p>
1736.  
1737.  
1738.  
1739. <ul>
1740. <li>I know I can do this. My fear makes me think that I can’t, but I know I can. This is just fear talking.</li>
1741.  
1742.  
1743.  
1744. <li>Chill out and take some deep breaths. I can talk back to my worries.</li>
1745.  
1746.  
1747.  
1748. <li>Fear is lying to me. I don’t have to listen to it.</li>
1749.  
1750.  
1751.  
1752. <li>My fear is a bully. If I talk back to it, it’ll back down.<br><br></li>
1753. </ul>
1754.  
1755.  
1756.  
1757. <p>One fun way to practice talking back to the “worry bully” is to role play with stuffed animals or puppets. It might also be helpful for your child to write her talking-back ideas on notecards, aka “coping cards”. To help them stick, practice reviewing them when she is calm.<br><br></p>
1758.  
1759.  
1760.  
1761. <h4 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-challenging-anxious-thoughts">Challenging anxious thoughts<br><br></h4>
1762.  
1763.  
1764.  
1765. <p>We’ve all experienced the dreaded what-ifs. &nbsp;Anxious children may have excessive what-if worries, like, “what if I forget everything I know, fail my test, can’t get into college, and end up without a job or family or friends or….” You see what I mean. The worries often involve catastrophizing, or expecting the worst to happen.</p>
1766.  
1767.  
1768.  
1769. <p>Let’s take the example of a child who’s worried he’ll fail an upcoming test. Asking Socratic questions explores if his worry is truly well-founded and helps him to realize he may be more capable of handling the feared situation than he realizes.</p>
1770.  
1771.  
1772.  
1773. <p>Try asking him these questions to challenge his worry:</p>
1774.  
1775.  
1776.  
1777. <ul>
1778. <li>How sure are you the worry will really happen? “Very sure!”</li>
1779.  
1780.  
1781.  
1782. <li>Has it happened before (if it has, go to the last question below)? “Um, no”</li>
1783.  
1784.  
1785.  
1786. <li>What makes you think it’ll happen now? “My worries won’t stop; they make me think it’ll happen.”</li>
1787.  
1788.  
1789.  
1790. <li>If it has happened before, how bad was it really? “Well, it hasn’t happened before. But I almost failed a test once. Nothing really bad happened. My teacher let me re-take part of it and I did okay.”<br><br><br></li>
1791. </ul>
1792.  
1793.  
1794.  
1795. <h4 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-containing-worries">Containing worries<br><br><br></h4>
1796.  
1797.  
1798.  
1799. <p>The more a child thinks about worries, the more they grow; working hard to suppress or avoid worries gives them attention, also making them stronger. “Talk time” is a cool technique described in Huebner’s <em><a href="https://amzn.to/420h0KX" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety</a>. </em>It involves setting aside about 15 minutes each day for a child to talk about his worries. If he worries during the day, he can save the worries until talk time. Postponing the worries helps him gain cognitive control over them and keeps them contained while still acknowledging them. &nbsp;And, once talk time rolls around, he may find that many worries from earlier in the day have subsided, teaching him that worries really do come and go. &nbsp;<br><br></p>
1800.  
1801.  
1802.  
1803. <script async="" src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404" crossorigin="anonymous"></script>
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1805. <script>
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1808.  
1809.  
1810.  
1811. <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-exposure"><br><strong><u>Exposure</u></strong><br><br></h2>
1812.  
1813.  
1814.  
1815. <p>Exposure-based therapy can help with many types of anxiety, including social anxiety. Kids with social anxiety worry that they’ll be negatively evaluated by others, leading to fear that they will embarrass themselves or be criticized. These fears can be severely limiting. For instance, social anxiety can cloud academic skills, lead a teacher to doubt a child’s abilities, fuel the child’s worries about being judged, and decrease her self-confidence—a vicious cycle.<br><br></p>
1816.  
1817.  
1818.  
1819. <p>Exposure therapy is performance-based and is typically carried out in a graduated way, challenging kids to confront their fears from least scary to most.<br><br></p>
1820.  
1821.  
1822.  
1823. <p>Let’s take the example of a girl who’s afraid to read aloud in class, an excruciating prospect for a child with social anxiety.<br><br></p>
1824.  
1825.  
1826.  
1827. <p>The first step is to collaborate with the child to develop a hierarchy of tasks designed to overcome her social anxiety, from least to most feared. The idea is that by practicing asserting her voice in small steps, it gets easier; like building a muscle at the gym, it builds her brain for more skill and comfort in social situations one step at a time.<br><br></p>
1828.  
1829.  
1830.  
1831. <p>An exposure ladder might look something like this:<br><br></p>
1832.  
1833.  
1834.  
1835. <p>Imagining herself reading aloud to her class (least scary)</p>
1836.  
1837.  
1838.  
1839. <p><img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/2b07.png" alt="⬇" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />︎</p>
1840.  
1841.  
1842.  
1843. <p>Reading aloud to herself</p>
1844.  
1845.  
1846.  
1847. <p><img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/2b07.png" alt="⬇" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />︎</p>
1848.  
1849.  
1850.  
1851. <p>Reading aloud to her family</p>
1852.  
1853.  
1854.  
1855. <p><img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/2b07.png" alt="⬇" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />︎</p>
1856.  
1857.  
1858.  
1859. <p>Introducing herself aloud at a library story time (getting scarier)</p>
1860.  
1861.  
1862.  
1863. <p><img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/2b07.png" alt="⬇" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />︎</p>
1864.  
1865.  
1866.  
1867. <p>Talking to a friend in the classroom loudly enough so others can hear her</p>
1868.  
1869.  
1870.  
1871. <p><img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/2b07.png" alt="⬇" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />︎</p>
1872.  
1873.  
1874.  
1875. <p>Individually asking the teacher a question</p>
1876.  
1877.  
1878.  
1879. <p><img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/2b07.png" alt="⬇" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />︎</p>
1880.  
1881.  
1882.  
1883. <p>Asking the teacher a question in front of the class (much scarier)</p>
1884.  
1885.  
1886.  
1887. <p><img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/2b07.png" alt="⬇" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />︎</p>
1888.  
1889.  
1890.  
1891. <p>Reading aloud individually to her teacher</p>
1892.  
1893.  
1894.  
1895. <p><img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/2b07.png" alt="⬇" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />︎</p>
1896.  
1897.  
1898.  
1899. <p>Reading aloud to a group of friends in the classroom while other classmates can hear her</p>
1900.  
1901.  
1902.  
1903. <p><img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/2b07.png" alt="⬇" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />︎</p>
1904.  
1905.  
1906.  
1907. <p>Reading aloud in front of the class (scariest)<br><br><br></p>
1908.  
1909.  
1910.  
1911. <p>Parents, a socially anxious child is likely to struggle with any one of these tasks. At library story time, she may not introduce herself at first or even at all, resulting in awkward silence. Or she may appear visibly nervous or trembling. The key here (and this can be oh so difficult) is <em>not</em> to rescue her by taking over or answering for her. This only reinforces the idea that she is weak, which lowers her confidence and reduces her opportunity to gain critical social skills.<br><br></p>
1912.  
1913.  
1914.  
1915. <p>Just tolerate the awkwardness; it’s so hard, but it’s worth it.<br><br><br><br></p>
1916.  
1917.  
1918.  
1919. <p>Brave parents and caregivers,<br></p>
1920.  
1921.  
1922.  
1923. <p>Though these techniques can be applied in the home setting, this article is not a substitute for formal participation in therapy. If you suspect your child is struggling with anxiety, please seek an evaluation; your pediatrician is a good place to start. Together, let’s promote the healthy development of our children and help them build their lives free of fear.<br><br></p>
1924.  
1925.  
1926.  
1927. <p>And, if you are interested in learning more about therapeutic techniques to combat your child’s anxiety, check out Huebner’s <em><a href="https://amzn.to/420h0KX" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety</a>. </em>This collaborative workbook is full of engaging and therapeutic activities to help kids understand their worries and to learn ways to fight them. &nbsp;&nbsp;<br><br></p>
1928.  
1929.  
1930.  
1931. <p><br>Until next time,<br><br></p>
1932.  
1933.  
1934. <div class="wp-block-image">
1935. <figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="308" height="198" src="https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9.png" alt="" class="wp-image-554" srcset="https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9.png 308w, https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9-300x193.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 308px) 100vw, 308px" /></figure></div>
1936.  
1937.  
1938. <p>References:</p>
1939.  
1940.  
1941.  
1942. <p></p>
1943.  
1944.  
1945.  
1946. <ol>
1947. <li>Friedberg, R.D. and McClure, J.M. (2012). <em>Clinical Practice of Cognitive Therapy with Children and Adolescents: The Nuts and Bolts.</em> Guilford Publications.</li>
1948.  
1949.  
1950.  
1951. <li>Huebner, D. (2006). <em>What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety.</em> Magination Press.<br><br></li>
1952. </ol>
1953.  
1954.  
1955.  
1956. <iframe sandbox="allow-popups allow-scripts allow-modals allow-forms allow-same-origin" style="width:120px;height:240px;" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&amp;OneJS=1&amp;Operation=GetAdHtml&amp;MarketPlace=US&amp;source=ss&amp;ref=as_ss_li_til&amp;ad_type=product_link&amp;tracking_id=farrowje-20&amp;language=en_US&amp;marketplace=amazon&amp;region=US&amp;placement=1591473144&amp;asins=1591473144&amp;linkId=36d0b9104be93957f983df9ea66cfce6&amp;show_border=true&amp;link_opens_in_new_window=true"></iframe>
1957. <p>The post <a href="https://mommypsych.com/anxiety-in-children/">Anxiety in Children</a> appeared first on <a href="https://mommypsych.com">MommyPsych</a>.</p>
1958. ]]></content:encoded>
1962. </item>
1963. <item>
1964. <title>ADHD: Beyond the Classroom</title>
1965. <link>https://mommypsych.com/adhd-beyond-the-classroom/</link>
1967. <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jenni Farrow]]></dc:creator>
1968. <pubDate>Sun, 26 Feb 2023 03:34:39 +0000</pubDate>
1969. <category><![CDATA[ADHD]]></category>
1970. <guid isPermaLink="false">https://mommypsych.com/?p=1197</guid>
1971.  
1972. <description><![CDATA[<p>Hello brave parents and caregivers! I realize there is controversy surrounding the diagnosis and treatment of ADHD. Professionally and personally, I’ve encountered parents whose children have been diagnosed with ADHD but are hesitant to pursue treatment. Some cite particular discomfort with medication treatment related to concern about side effects or changing their child’s personality. Dear [&#8230;]</p>
1973. <p>The post <a href="https://mommypsych.com/adhd-beyond-the-classroom/">ADHD: Beyond the Classroom</a> appeared first on <a href="https://mommypsych.com">MommyPsych</a>.</p>
1974. ]]></description>
1975. <content:encoded><![CDATA[
1976. <p>Hello brave parents and caregivers!<br></p>
1977.  
1978.  
1979.  
1980. <p>I realize there is controversy surrounding the diagnosis and treatment of ADHD. Professionally and personally, I’ve encountered parents whose children have been diagnosed with ADHD but are hesitant to pursue treatment. Some cite particular discomfort with medication treatment related to concern about side effects or changing their child’s personality.<br></p>
1981.  
1982.  
1983.  
1984. <p>Dear parents, please let me be clear that I cannot make recommendations about the diagnosis and treatment of your child in the absence of a patient-doctor relationship. That said, over many years of practicing child and adolescent psychiatry, I’ve seen how the effects of untreated ADHD extend beyond the classroom. Untreated ADHD cannot only pose an academic burden, it also carries psychological, social, mental health, legal, and financial consequences.<br><br><br><br></p>
1985.  
1986.  
1987.  
1988. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-the-adhd-brain-executive-functioning">The ADHD Brain: Executive Functioning<br><br></h2>
1989.  
1990.  
1991.  
1992. <p>First, more about the ADHD brain. The ADHD brain is unique, complex, and not completely understood. &nbsp;As in <a href="https://mommypsych.com/what-you-really-need-to-know-about-adhd/">What You Really Need to Know About ADHD</a>, it is thought that differences in the dopamine reward system affect what motivates kids with ADHD. &nbsp;<br></p>
1993.  
1994.  
1995.  
1996. <p>In addition, the chemical and physical makeup of the frontal brain system may be different in kids with ADHD, leading to problems with executive functioning. Executive functioning involves the skills needed to perform tasks—planning, organizing, and starting a task then following it through to completion. Executive functioning skills are critical for kids to achieve independence and realize their full potential.<br><br></p>
1997.  
1998.  
1999.  
2000. <script async="" src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404" crossorigin="anonymous"></script>
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2002. <script>
2003.     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
2004. </script>
2005.  
2006.  
2007.  
2008. <p><br></p>
2009.  
2010.  
2011.  
2012. <p>For a lot of children with ADHD, executive skills are impaired. For many, these include deficits in <sup>1</sup>:<br><br></p>
2013.  
2014.  
2015.  
2016. <ol type="1">
2017. <li><strong>Response inhibition</strong>: Thinking before acting (self-explanatory!).<br><br></li>
2018.  
2019.  
2020.  
2021. <li><strong>Working memory</strong>: Remembering information while following through with multistep directions (e.g., a daughter who struggles to complete a task of picking up her clothes then bringing her laundry downstairs).<br><br></li>
2022.  
2023.  
2024.  
2025. <li><strong>Time management</strong>: Having a sense of time, estimating how long a task will take, and adequately allotting time for a task (e.g., an adolescent who cannot meet school project deadlines).<br><br></li>
2026.  
2027.  
2028.  
2029. <li><strong>Sustained attention</strong>: Maintaining attention on something that is not considered interesting (e.g., a young child who cannot stay focused on folding his laundry or a teenager who cannot complete homework).<br><br></li>
2030.  
2031.  
2032.  
2033. <li><strong>Goal-directed persistence</strong>: Making, following through with, and completing a goal (e.g., a young child who struggles to get her desk in order for the day’s desk check).<br><br></li>
2034.  
2035.  
2036.  
2037. <li><strong>Task initiation</strong>: Beginning an assignment without delay (e.g., a young child who doesn’t start a chore right after you’ve asked or a teenager who waits until the last minute to start a project).<br><br><br></li>
2038. </ol>
2039.  
2040.  
2041.  
2042. <p>But how do brain differences in motivation and executive functioning interfere in real life?<br><br><br></p>
2043.  
2044.  
2045.  
2046. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-the-effects-of-untreated-adhd-the-research-is-what-it-is">The Effects of Untreated ADHD: The Research Is What It Is<br><br></h2>
2047.  
2048.  
2049.  
2050. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-mental-health">Mental Health<br></h3>
2051.  
2052.  
2053.  
2054. <ol type="1">
2055. <li>ADHD increases the risk of substance and alcohol abuse and is associated with using substances at a younger age. &nbsp;Compared with kids with controlled ADHD symptoms, kids with uncontrolled symptoms are more likely to turn to substances. Furthermore, the combination of ADHD and substance use increases the risk of suicide attempt and depression. Indeed, children and adolescents with ADHD have a suicide rate three times higher than the national average.<br><br></li>
2056.  
2057.  
2058.  
2059. <li>Children with uncontrolled ADHD who exhibit hyperactivity may be at higher risk for developing oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) or conduct disorder (CD). ODD and CD are behavioral disorders marked by a pattern of uncooperativeness, aggression, and defiance. CD is particularly serious and involves engaging in behavior that violates societal norms, such as stealing, bullying, or cruelty to animals .<sup>2</sup><br><br></li>
2060.  
2061.  
2062.  
2063. <li>It is common for people with ADHD to ruminate, or become fixated on repetitive negative thoughts. Why is this? The inattentive type of ADHD is linked to “sluggish cognitive tempo”—daydreaming and low activity. &nbsp;And sluggish cognitive tempo is linked to ruminating. Ruminating is highly uncomfortable and associated with suicidal behavior, depressive, and anxiety symptoms. Anecdotally, some patients report that ruminating improves with ADHD treatment.<sup>3</sup><br><br><br><br></li>
2064. </ol>
2065.  
2066.  
2067.  
2068. <script async="" src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404" crossorigin="anonymous"></script>
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2070. <script>
2071.     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
2072. </script>
2073.  
2074.  
2075.  
2076. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-relationships"><br>Relationships<br></h3>
2077.  
2078.  
2079.  
2080. <ol type="1">
2081. <li>Uncontrolled ADHD can lead to <a href="https://mommypsych.com/what-you-really-need-to-know-about-adhd/">emotion and behavior dysregulation</a> that negatively affects relationships with peers and adults. Not surprisingly, an inability to maintain positive relationships can take a major toll on a kid’s self-esteem.<br><br></li>
2082.  
2083.  
2084.  
2085. <li>An estimated 25-70 % of kids retain an ADHD diagnosis into adulthood. Parents with ADHD may struggle to control their emotions and impulses, leading to conflict in the home and negative interactions with their children. <sup>2</sup><br><br></li>
2086. </ol>
2087.  
2088.  
2089.  
2090. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-development"><br>Development<br></h3>
2091.  
2092.  
2093.  
2094. <p>Kids with ADHD can lag 1-3 years behind their peers in cognitive development, which may be compounded when symptoms are untreated. This could translate to deficits in learning, weakness in language skills, and reduced capacity for self-care.<sup>4</sup> Women with ADHD may lag 10 years behind in their development, particularly with regard to education, employment, and attaining independence. <sup>5</sup></p>
2095.  
2096.  
2097.  
2098. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-social"><br>Social<br></h3>
2099.  
2100.  
2101.  
2102. <ol type="1">
2103. <li>Untreated ADHD can affect social development. Poor listening skills, low frustration tolerance, and behavior dysregulation (e.g., interrupting, intruding on peers’ space, having trouble taking turns) can make it challenging for kids with ADHD to make and keep friends, ultimately driving peers away.<br><br></li>
2104.  
2105.  
2106.  
2107. <li>Based on my clinical observations, challenges in decision-making can play out in heartbreaking ways. Difficulty with executive functioning (particularly when coupled with impulsivity) can result in adolescents with ADHD who are easily influenced by outside sources when it comes to decision-making.&nbsp; This may, for example, involve succumbing to social media or peer pressure to send inappropriate photos, do drugs, or have sex.</li>
2108. </ol>
2109.  
2110.  
2111.  
2112. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-legal"><br>Legal<br></h3>
2113.  
2114.  
2115.  
2116. <p>Untreated ADHD is associated with higher rates of imprisonment, speeding, traffic violations, motor vehicle accidents, and criminality.<br><br></p>
2117.  
2118.  
2119.  
2120. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-financial">Financial</h3>
2121.  
2122.  
2123.  
2124. <p>Untreated ADHD can lead to job instability, lower work efficiency (and longer work hours), and lower incomes.<br><br></p>
2125.  
2126.  
2127.  
2128. <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-mortality">Mortality<br></h3>
2129.  
2130.  
2131.  
2132. <p>ADHD carries a higher mortality rate, particularly when coupled with ODD, CD, or a substance use disorder. <sup>2</sup><br></p>
2133.  
2134.  
2135.  
2136. <script async="" src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-5964611917714404" crossorigin="anonymous"></script>
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2138. <script>
2139.     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
2140. </script>
2141.  
2142.  
2143.  
2144. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-adhd-is-like-having-a-superpower">ADHD is Like Having a Superpower<br><br></h2>
2145.  
2146.  
2147.  
2148. <p>If you’re reading this and feeling deflated, I understand. The research is what it is, but this is tough information to swallow.<br><br></p>
2149.  
2150.  
2151.  
2152. <p><a href="https://mommypsych.com/holidadhd/">In my eyes</a>, though, ADHD is also kinda like having a superpower. Individuals with ADHD are bright, creative, spontaneous, and inspiring. As creative problem-solvers who think outside the box, they are assets to any school or work environment. Yes, they may be <a href="https://mommypsych.com/what-you-really-need-to-know-about-adhd/">sensitive</a>, but this also shows up as empathy, kindness, and generosity. And, yes, they make be risk-takers, but channeled risk-taking produces new ideas, innovations, and perspectives that have potential to benefit humanity. Also, it’s worth adding that careful, individualized treatment for ADHD should not compromise these attributes.<br><br><br></p>
2153.  
2154.  
2155.  
2156. <h2 class="has-text-align-center wp-block-heading" id="h-a-little-on-adhd-treatment">A Little on ADHD Treatment<br><br></h2>
2157.  
2158.  
2159.  
2160. <p>Making decisions about how to approach management of ADHD can be challenging. Medication is considered the gold standard, but treatment for ADHD can encompass multimodal strategies involving parent training, school interventions, cognitive-behavioral therapy, skills training, psychoeducation, and/or medication.<br></p>
2161.  
2162.  
2163.  
2164. <p>If you’re interested in learning more about executive functioning and ADHD, check out Dawson and Guare’s <em><a href="https://amzn.to/3KEmc0I" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Smart but Scattered</a></em>; it’s a helpful resource for gaining insight into a child’s executive functioning strengths and weaknesses and for learning strategies to strengthen kids’ executive functioning skills.<br> &nbsp;&nbsp;<br></p>
2165.  
2166.  
2167.  
2168. <p>Brave parents and caregivers,<br></p>
2169.  
2170.  
2171.  
2172. <p>If I’ve left you with anything, I hope it’s the knowledge that kids with ADHD have unique and complex brains. Their emotional and behavioral lives may seem more intense or disruptive, but this is driven by neurobiology, not flawed character. If you suspect your child may have ADHD, please seek evaluation with your pediatrician or a qualified health professional. <br><br><br>Until next time,</p>
2173.  
2174.  
2175. <div class="wp-block-image">
2176. <figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="308" height="198" src="https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9.png" alt="" class="wp-image-554" srcset="https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9.png 308w, https://mommypsych.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/signature-9-300x193.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 308px) 100vw, 308px" /></figure></div>
2177.  
2178.  
2179. <p>References:</p>
2180.  
2181.  
2182.  
2183. <ol type="1">
2184. <li>Dawson P. and Guare R. (2009). <em>Smart but Scattered. </em>The Guilford Press.</li>
2185.  
2186.  
2187.  
2188. <li>Hamed AM, Kauer AJ, and Stevens HE. Why the Diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Matters (2015). <em>Frontiers in Psychiatry</em>. 1-10.</li>
2189.  
2190.  
2191.  
2192. <li>Fredrick JW, Kofler MJ, Jarrett MA, et al. (2020). Sluggish cognitive tempo and ADHD symptoms in relation to task-unrelated thought: Examining unique links with mind-wandering and rumination. <em>J Psychiatr Res</em>. 123: 95-101.</li>
2193.  
2194.  
2195.  
2196. <li>Berger B, Slobodin O, Aboud M, Melamed J and Cassuto H (2013). Maturational delay in ADHD: evidence from CPT. <em>Front Hum Neurosci. 7: </em>691.</li>
2197.  
2198.  
2199.  
2200. <li>O’Hara D. (2019) Ellen Littman brings attention to women with ADHD. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/members/content/women-adhd<br><br></li>
2201. </ol>
2202.  
2203.  
2204.  
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2206. <p>The post <a href="https://mommypsych.com/adhd-beyond-the-classroom/">ADHD: Beyond the Classroom</a> appeared first on <a href="https://mommypsych.com">MommyPsych</a>.</p>
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