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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>Not the Bee</title> <atom:link href="https://notthebee.com/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://notthebee.com</link> <description>The following is not satire. Seriously.</description> <lastBuildDate>Fri, 09 May 2025 04:05:12 -0400</lastBuildDate> <language>en-US</language> <sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://media.notthebee.com/notbeelogo-lg.jpg</url> <title>Not the Bee</title> <link>https://notthebee.com</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>I scoured the lands to find the best memes about the first American pope</title> <link>https://notthebee.com/article/i-scoured-the-lands-to-find-the-best-memes-about-the-first-american-pope/</link> <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2025 17:21:15 -0400</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Not the Bee]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Pope]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Memes]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://notthebee.com/article/i-scoured-the-lands-to-find-the-best-memes-about-the-first-american-pope</guid> <description><![CDATA[<img src="https://media.notthebee.com/articles/681d20431484a681d20431484b.jpg" width="400" style="width: 100%; max-width: 400px;"><p>Dominus vobiscum, ladies and gentlemen.</p> ]]></description> </item> <item> <title>Paul Pierce said he'd walk 20 miles to the Fox Sports studio if the Celtics lost game 2. Looks like he's a man of his word.</title> <link>https://notthebee.com/article/paul-pierce-said-hed-walk-15-miles-to-the-fox-sports-studio-if-the-celtics-lost-game-2-the-celtics-lost-game-2/</link> <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2025 16:00:05 -0400</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Not the Bee]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[This Is Great]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Basketball Is Fun]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Paul Pierce]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Walk Of Shame]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://notthebee.com/article/paul-pierce-said-hed-walk-15-miles-to-the-fox-sports-studio-if-the-celtics-lost-game-2-the-celtics-lost-game-2</guid> <description><![CDATA[<img src="https://media.notthebee.com/articles/681d0c87afd84681d0c87afd85.jpg" width="400" style="width: 100%; max-width: 400px;"><p>Former Celtics star Paul Pierce claimed on his Fox Sports show Wednesday that if the Celtics, who had already lost game 1 at home, lost game 2, he'd walk to work on Thursday.</p> ]]></description> </item> <item> <title>Kentucky boy orders 70,000 suckers after mom hands him phone</title> <link>https://notthebee.com/article/a-kentucky-second-grader-ordered-70000-suckers-when-his-mom-handed-him-her-phone/</link> <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2025 15:34:49 -0400</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Not the Bee]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Parenting Is Fun]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Suckers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Costly Mistakes]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://notthebee.com/article/a-kentucky-second-grader-ordered-70000-suckers-when-his-mom-handed-him-her-phone</guid> <description><![CDATA[<img src="https://media.notthebee.com/articles/68190cf01465c68190cf01465e.jpg" width="400" style="width: 100%; max-width: 400px;"><p>Holly LaFavers got quite the shock when she opened the door to an Amazon delivery … of 70,000 suckers. Apparently, she had handed her son her phone to keep him busy, and he spent $4,000 on Dum Dums.</p> ]]></description> </item> <item> <title>Trump says it's a "great honor" to have an American pope, that the Vatican has called him to arrange a meeting</title> <link>https://notthebee.com/article/president-trump-says-the-vatican-has-already-called-him-and-he-is-arranging-a-meeting-with-the-first-american-pope/</link> <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2025 15:19:31 -0400</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Not the Bee]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Donald Trump]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Merica Intensifies]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Pope Leo XIV]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://notthebee.com/article/president-trump-says-the-vatican-has-already-called-him-and-he-is-arranging-a-meeting-with-the-first-american-pope</guid> <description><![CDATA[<img src="https://media.notthebee.com/articles/681d00a5a01f5681d00a5a01f6.jpg" width="400" style="width: 100%; max-width: 400px;"><p>Within hours of the American Cardinal Prevost being named as Pope Leo XIV, the White House had already been in communication with the new Roman pontiff.</p> ]]></description> </item> <item> <title>Biden says he "wasn't surprised" Kamala lost to Trump</title> <link>https://notthebee.com/article/biden-says-he-wasnt-surprised-kamala-lost-to-trump/</link> <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2025 14:17:31 -0400</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Not the Bee]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Kamala Harris]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Joe Biden]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Donald Trump]]></category> <category><![CDATA[2024 Election]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://notthebee.com/article/biden-says-he-wasnt-surprised-kamala-lost-to-trump</guid> <description><![CDATA[<img src="https://media.notthebee.com/articles/681cf2ee7c0f6681cf2ee7c0f7.jpg" width="400" style="width: 100%; max-width: 400px;"><p>I like how Joe Biden beats around the bush on this question in order to deflect from the fact that he's 100% not surprised Kamala Harris lost to Donald Trump in the 2024 election.</p> ]]></description> </item> <item> <title>Here's the backstory on the first American pope (is he woke?)</title> <link>https://notthebee.com/article/here-is-the-new-pope/</link> <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2025 13:35:42 -0400</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Not the Bee]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Catholic Church]]></category> <category><![CDATA[New Pope]]></category> <category><![CDATA[White Smoke]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://notthebee.com/article/here-is-the-new-pope</guid> <description><![CDATA[<img src="https://media.notthebee.com/articles/681ce9dd636a8681ce9dd636a9.jpg" width="400" style="width: 100%; max-width: 400px;"><p>White smoke rose from the Sistine Chapel early in the evening, and now Catholics have their pope: Cardinal Robert Francis Prevost of Chicago, the first American pope, though he's also a Peruvian citizen. He takes the name Pope Leo XIV.</p> ]]></description> </item> <item> <title>We just learned who the new pope is but don't let that distract you from these quality pope jokes</title> <link>https://notthebee.com/article/while-catholics-are-waiting-for-the-new-pope-to-emerge-here-are-a-bunch-of-spicy-jokes/</link> <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2025 13:10:00 -0400</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Not the Bee]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Pope]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Catholic Church]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://notthebee.com/article/while-catholics-are-waiting-for-the-new-pope-to-emerge-here-are-a-bunch-of-spicy-jokes</guid> <description><![CDATA[<img src="https://media.notthebee.com/articles/681ce55a52d55681ce55a52d56.jpg" width="400" style="width: 100%; max-width: 400px;"><p>There's been white smoke at the Vatican, and you know what that means: Catholics are about to get a new pope and a new popemobile.</p> ]]></description> </item> <item> <title>Florida man claims he was just offering vodka to cops during bizarre chase. Yes, there's video.</title> <link>https://notthebee.com/article/florida-man-offers-vodka-to-cops-while-being-arrested-for-robbery-after-a-bizarre-pursuit-around-parking-lot/</link> <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2025 12:46:18 -0400</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Not the Bee]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Florida Man]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Go Home, You're Drunk]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Drunk Driving]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Bodycam]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://notthebee.com/article/florida-man-offers-vodka-to-cops-while-being-arrested-for-robbery-after-a-bizarre-pursuit-around-parking-lot</guid> <description><![CDATA[<img src="https://media.notthebee.com/articles/681cc89725d5d681cc89725d5e.jpg" width="400" style="width: 100%; max-width: 400px;"><p>Florida man gon' Florida man.</p> ]]></description> </item> <item> <title>A new pope has been selected after just 24 hours of deliberation 👀</title> <link>https://notthebee.com/article/we-have-a-new-pope/</link> <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2025 12:19:39 -0400</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Not the Bee]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Pope]]></category> <category><![CDATA[The Vatican]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://notthebee.com/article/we-have-a-new-pope</guid> <description><![CDATA[<img src="https://media.notthebee.com/articles/681cd905afd6c681cd905afd6d.jpg" width="400" style="width: 100%; max-width: 400px;"><p>The white smoke is billowing out of the Sistine Chapel and the bells are ringing.</p> ]]></description> </item> <item> <title>Trump announces trade deal with UK just hours after Jen Psaki mocks him on MSNBC for not making any deals</title> <link>https://notthebee.com/article/trump-strikes-trade-deal-with-uk-just-hours-after-jen-psaki-mocks-him-on-msnbc-for-not-making-any-deals/</link> <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2025 11:58:38 -0400</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Not the Bee]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Art Of The Deal]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Trump Tariffs]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Trade Deal]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://notthebee.com/article/trump-strikes-trade-deal-with-uk-just-hours-after-jen-psaki-mocks-him-on-msnbc-for-not-making-any-deals</guid> <description><![CDATA[<img src="https://media.notthebee.com/articles/681cd2a51b97d681cd2a51b97e.jpg" width="400" style="width: 100%; max-width: 400px;"><p>I'm sure you'll find this hard to believe, but last night Jen Psaki opened her MSNBC show by mocking Trump for not striking "a single trade deal" with "any single country."</p> ]]></description> </item> <item> <title>Salt Lake City joins Boise in making gay flags "official" to subvert new state flag laws</title> <link>https://notthebee.com/article/salt-lake-city-joins-boise-in-making-gay-flags-official-city-flags-to-subvert-anti-pride-flag-laws/</link> <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2025 11:44:25 -0400</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Not the Bee]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[So Many Pride Flags]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Pride Flag]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Utah]]></category> <category><![CDATA["Gay Pride"]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://notthebee.com/article/salt-lake-city-joins-boise-in-making-gay-flags-official-city-flags-to-subvert-anti-pride-flag-laws</guid> <description><![CDATA[<img src="https://media.notthebee.com/articles/681b8e11738c0681b8e11738c1.jpg" width="400" style="width: 100%; max-width: 400px;"><p>What lengths won't radical mayors of Democrat cities go to promote sodomy and sexual depravity?</p> ]]></description> </item> <item> <title>Why is this lady's impression of a Southern county clerk the most accurate thing I've ever seen?</title> <link>https://notthebee.com/article/why-is-this-ladys-impression-of-a-southern-county-clerk-the-most-accurate-thing-ive-ever-seen/</link> <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2025 11:15:40 -0400</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Not the Bee]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Perfection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Sketch Comedy]]></category> <category><![CDATA[The South]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://notthebee.com/article/why-is-this-ladys-impression-of-a-southern-county-clerk-the-most-accurate-thing-ive-ever-seen</guid> <description><![CDATA[<img src="https://media.notthebee.com/articles/681cb7f82c392681cb7f82c393.jpg" width="400" style="width: 100%; max-width: 400px;"><p>This right here is uncanny.</p> ]]></description> </item> <item> <title>Kentucky man wins $167-million Powerball, winds up in Florida jail four days later</title> <link>https://notthebee.com/article/kentucky-man-wins-powerball-winds-up-in-florida-jail-after-being-charged-for-kicking-a-police-officer/</link> <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2025 11:05:50 -0400</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Not the Bee]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Big Win]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lottery]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Kentucky Man]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://notthebee.com/article/kentucky-man-wins-powerball-winds-up-in-florida-jail-after-being-charged-for-kicking-a-police-officer</guid> <description><![CDATA[<img src="https://media.notthebee.com/articles/681cc12548665681cc12548666.jpg" width="400" style="width: 100%; max-width: 400px;"><p>I mean, we all have our own ways of celebrating, don't we?</p> ]]></description> </item> <item> <title>"We've crushed fascism before, and we'll crush it again": British WW2 vet levels Tesla with tank</title> <link>https://notthebee.com/article/weve-crushed-fascism-before-and-well-crush-it-again-british-ww2-vet-levels-tesla-with-tank/</link> <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2025 11:05:08 -0400</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Not the Bee]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Tesla]]></category> <category><![CDATA[WWII]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Incredibly Dumb]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Fascism]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://notthebee.com/article/weve-crushed-fascism-before-and-well-crush-it-again-british-ww2-vet-levels-tesla-with-tank</guid> <description><![CDATA[<img src="https://media.notthebee.com/articles/681cbc583fbb5681cbc583fbb6.jpg" width="400" style="width: 100%; max-width: 400px;"><p>This is the dumbest thing I've ever seen and I have nothing to say about it because it speaks for itself in its idiotic nature:</p> ]]></description> </item> <item> <title>A TikTok challenge has kids setting their school-issued laptops on fire</title> <link>https://notthebee.com/article/kids-are-setting-their-classrooms-on-fire-using-a-chromebook-hack-as-part-of-a-tiktok-challenge/</link> <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2025 10:46:13 -0400</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Not the Bee]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Schools]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Fire]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Kids Today]]></category> <category><![CDATA[TikTok Challenge]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Chromebooks]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://notthebee.com/article/kids-are-setting-their-classrooms-on-fire-using-a-chromebook-hack-as-part-of-a-tiktok-challenge</guid> <description><![CDATA[<img src="https://media.notthebee.com/articles/681b65b405c52681b65b405c53.jpg" width="400" style="width: 100%; max-width: 400px;"><p>Warnings are sounding around the country about a dangerous new TikTok trend that shows students how to set their school-issued Chromebooks on fire.</p> ]]></description> </item> <item> <title>"You think I'm gonna be sitting on a waiting line at United?": Comrade Bernie just said the quiet part out loud</title> <link>https://notthebee.com/article/watch-bernie-sanders-separates-himself-from-the-american-peasants/</link> <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2025 09:42:10 -0400</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Not the Bee]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Bernie Sanders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Liberal Hypocrisy]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://notthebee.com/article/watch-bernie-sanders-separates-himself-from-the-american-peasants</guid> <description><![CDATA[<img src="https://media.notthebee.com/articles/681cb3a028115681cb3a028116.jpg" width="400" style="width: 100%; max-width: 400px;"><p>Sometimes, if you watch closely, leftists will show you who they really are.</p> ]]></description> </item> <item> <title>Watch these feminists release pink smoke to protest the all-male papal conclave</title> <link>https://notthebee.com/article/liberal-women-perform-a-pink-smoke-protest-because-the-papal-conclave-doesnt-allow-women-in/</link> <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2025 09:31:50 -0400</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Not the Bee]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Feminists]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Catholic Church]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Feminism Ruins Everything]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Woke Pope]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://notthebee.com/article/liberal-women-perform-a-pink-smoke-protest-because-the-papal-conclave-doesnt-allow-women-in</guid> <description><![CDATA[<img src="https://media.notthebee.com/articles/681cb20393435681cb20393436.jpg" width="400" style="width: 100%; max-width: 400px;"><p>Oh man, pink smoke?</p> ]]></description> </item> <item> <title>Poll: Half of the Brits wouldn't fight for their country "under any circumstances"</title> <link>https://notthebee.com/article/poll-reveals-that-half-of-brits-wouldnt-fight-for-their-country-under-any-circumstance/</link> <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2025 09:21:35 -0400</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Not the Bee]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Don't Fight, Just Submit]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Patriotism]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Great Britain]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Not So Great Britain]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://notthebee.com/article/poll-reveals-that-half-of-brits-wouldnt-fight-for-their-country-under-any-circumstance</guid> <description><![CDATA[<img src="https://media.notthebee.com/articles/681bab236c6d0681bab236c6d1.jpg" width="400" style="width: 100%; max-width: 400px;"><p>I've gotta be honest, after seeing what has happened to the U.K. and Europe, it's hard to blame them.</p> ]]></description> </item> <item> <title>Canadian police started a presser for two missing kids with a freakin' land acknowledgement. Really.</title> <link>https://notthebee.com/article/two-canadian-kids-are-missing-so-when-police-held-a-press-conference-they-started-off-with-a-land-acknowledgement/</link> <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2025 09:16:09 -0400</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Not the Bee]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Land Acknowledgement]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Pray For Canada]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Missing Child]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Indigenous People]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://notthebee.com/article/two-canadian-kids-are-missing-so-when-police-held-a-press-conference-they-started-off-with-a-land-acknowledgement</guid> <description><![CDATA[<img src="https://media.notthebee.com/articles/681ca5ef6c3cd681ca5ef6c3ce.jpg" width="400" style="width: 100%; max-width: 400px;"><p>You guys, Canada is not a serious country.</p> ]]></description> </item> <item> <title>The media is dead set on informing Americans that an "all-white jury" acquitted three cops in the death of a black man. Let's talk about their word choices.</title> <link>https://notthebee.com/article/you-dont-hate-the-media-enough-cbs-news-creates-a-false-racial-narrative-in-the-acquittal-of-3-memphis-police-officers/</link> <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2025 09:10:07 -0400</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Not the Bee]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[You Don't Hate Journalists Enough]]></category> <category><![CDATA[CBS News]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Race Baiting]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://notthebee.com/article/you-dont-hate-the-media-enough-cbs-news-creates-a-false-racial-narrative-in-the-acquittal-of-3-memphis-police-officers</guid> <description><![CDATA[<img src="https://media.notthebee.com/articles/681cad2b7561a681cad2b7561b.jpg" width="400" style="width: 100%; max-width: 400px;"><p>Media outlets regularly twist facts to create a desired narrative, but the shameful race-baiting with the reporting on the acquittal of three Memphis police officers might take it to another level.</p> ]]></description> </item> </channel></rss>If you would like to create a banner that links to this page (i.e. this validation result), do the following:
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