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<title>i &lt;3 instant gratification</title>
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<?xml version='1.0' encoding='utf-8' ?><!-- If you are running a bot please visit this policy page outlining rules you must respect. https://www.livejournal.com/bots/ --><rss version='2.0' xmlns:lj='http://www.livejournal.org/rss/lj/1.0/' xmlns:media='http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/' xmlns:atom10='http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom'><channel> <title>the ultimate journaling begins</title> <link>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/</link> <description>the ultimate journaling begins - LiveJournal.com</description> <lastBuildDate>Fri, 15 Sep 2023 18:02:15 GMT</lastBuildDate> <generator>LiveJournal / LiveJournal.com</generator> <lj:journal>teomodo</lj:journal> <lj:journalid>91026557</lj:journalid> <lj:journaltype>personal</lj:journaltype> <image> <url>https://l-userpic.livejournal.com/130214961/91026557</url> <title>the ultimate journaling begins</title> <link>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/</link> <width>100</width> <height>100</height> </image> <item> <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/5513.html</guid> <pubDate>Fri, 15 Sep 2023 18:02:15 GMT</pubDate> <title>the mini-update of luv</title> <author>teomodo</author> <link>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/5513.html</link> <description><p>hellooo it's been a minute since i've updated the site. i don't have much to update it with at the mome, but i start to feel all itchy and like my eye sockets are caving in and withering into ash when i spend too long away from it so i figured i's let you guys in on what's happening in the irl sphere</p><p>2 big things (for me): i got my learner's permit and a job! i've probably said as much before but the all-day-to-myself model for making my art didn't really work for me, and also i like having money to buy my little trinkets. i've only been there three weeks but it's had a crazy effect on my drive to do comicking on my days off. i spent like five hours on a page this tuesday. i'm still making progress on NE in the way that you would probably make progress wading through a marshland full of melting laffy taffy, but i also have some other comics stuff i'm gonna try and make room for on the site so i don't get all tunnel visiony on NE again.</p> <p>in the general vein of self betterment and not spending every spare second on my phone i have also been reading a lot more this year, which was good and fun. i'm on book 2 of mark z. danielewski's The Familiar (also read house of leaves by him this year) (really good) and 1Q84 by haruki murakami, which has been on my to-read list for a few years. i decided to stop being intimidated by 800+ page counts which has been awesome because all of these books are really good. i dunno why i felt intimidated by the page count in the first place come to think of it, what with the whole "having read homestuck" thing going for me, but anyway.</p><p>i thought i should add too since it's not super prominent anywhere on the site, if you want to follow my Doings i've recently mostly been active on <a href="https://cohost.org/teomodo" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">cohost</a>. i'm trying to be more active on <a href="https://spacehey.com/teomodo" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">spacehey </a>as well but i think it's destined to be a sporadic and distant kind of symbiosis. if you add me on there though i'll read all your blog posts and bulletins.</p><p><br></p><a name='cutid1-end'></a></description> <comments>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/5513.html?view=comments#comments</comments> <lj:security>public</lj:security> <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count> </item> <item> <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/5321.html</guid> <pubDate>Mon, 10 Jul 2023 15:52:34 GMT</pubDate> <title>skinamarink review, electric boogaloo</title> <author>teomodo</author> <link>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/5321.html</link> <description><p>since writing yesterday's review i've watched Heck, the half-hour proof of concept short film skinamarink was based on.</p><p>distilled down to its essential elements, my first review is "the backrooms were ruined when they put creatures in there," except about skinamarink. i knew where i felt skinnymink had fallen short, but given that the concept as it was set up was such an ambitious and artistic thing and i am just a nitpicking hack, i couldn't articulate exactly what i wish it had done instead. heck is what i wish it had done instead.</p><p>i want to say: you should watch heck before i spoil it. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVQzEzW4faA" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">here's a link</a>. no gore or jumpscares.</p><p>i spent some time trying to come up with a solution to the enlengthening process of adapting a short horror film into a film film. it's tough. i can think of other examples of it being done poorly (lights out comes to mind), but i don't know of any examples of it being done well. not to say no examples exist, i just don't know of them. i spent some time reflecting on this on my instagram story, and to me the problem seems to be two-pronged: 1) horror thrives on the unknown and 2) brevity is the rule of screenwriting. taking a shorter story and enlongening it, using a process made for cutting fat, is hard. the fat has been cut already. enlongening requires some exploration/explanation/expoundening upon, destroying the unknown.</p> <p>so: while heck does things that skinkadink doesn't, namely a slowww build and focus on our main character's emotions (you know, like a story), it only takes a half hour to accomplish what it does. skinnydips would have obviously had to bulk up the script to fill out a hundred minutes of the same concept. however i still stand by the idea that a demon was the worst thing they could've added. i'm imagining skinnerink keeping the pacing of heck, keeping that 18,000 sleeps slate and "i think we're in hell" as the final line. could you fill out at least 90 minutes of the kid (and maybe the mom?) going through an emotional arc and being driven insane by the situation? conceivably, yeah. my dinner with andre exists; a truly creative screenwriter can do a lot if they know their characters (and the studio lets them).&nbsp;</p><p>all this being said, it's clear to me sinkdink is not meant to be a 1:1 adaptation of heck. i dislike the direction it decided to take, but i found what i was looking for in heck, which i think is just about perfect as it is. house horror. no immediate physical danger, no explanation for the surreal situation. no demon. watch heck.</p><a name='cutid1-end'></a></description> <comments>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/5321.html?view=comments#comments</comments> <lj:security>public</lj:security> <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count> </item> <item> <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/5032.html</guid> <pubDate>Sun, 09 Jul 2023 17:53:20 GMT</pubDate> <title>skinamarink-a-dink-a-dink skinamarink review</title> <author>teomodo</author> <link>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/5032.html</link> <description><p>i want to start by saying that broadly i agree with most positive reviews of this movie. if you've heard anything about skinamarink at all you've heard that it's an extremely polarizing movie; it's either a divinely crafted atmospheric ethel cainian purgatory, not meant to be analyzed through the traditional lens of cinema, a celebration of the horror of the mundane, transcendent, nostalgic, <em>-or-</em> boring arthaus dogshit where nothing happens. i'm firmly on the side of the former. unapologetically. it doesn't matter to me how popular/overdone liminal spaces, traumacore, weirdcore, the backrooms, whatever, get, i will always think they're cool. my boyfriend described what skinamarink did as "liminal porn," and for sure: this movie is style over substance, but the style caters specifically to me, so i liked it. the substance though leaves much to be desired.</p> <p>here is the rundown of the film: we're shown through a sandy film grain filter, obliquely, never seeing our characters' faces but rather dutch angles of the corners of ceilings, our 4-year-old protagonist Kevin sleepwalking and falling down the stairs. his dad calls someone on the phone (presumably their mom) and lets them know he fell, but they went to the hospital and he's alright. sometime later in the night, Kevin and his 6-year-old sister Kaylee wake up to find their dad is missing, as are the outside doors and windows to the house. also, the toilet has blinked out of existence. they sit in front of the TV watching public domain cartoons and see objects, first a chair, then mostly their toys, suspended on the walls and ceiling. they decide they should whisper from now on. they are slowly courted by a faint, deep voice-- first beckoning Kaylee upstairs into an upsetting vision of her parents in their bedroom. her dad sits at the head of the bed and tells her to look under the bed. she sees nothing. she looks back up and sees her mom sitting on the edge of the bed, who tells her she and their father love them very much, and please close her eyes. there is a crunching sound coming from the mom's direction and Kaylee screams. later the voice leads Kevin into the basement into an upsetting vision of Kaylee, whose eyes and mouth are gone, harlan ellison style. Kaylee is not in the rest of the film. The voice gets Kevin to stick a knife in his eye, after which he calls 911 (he tried early in the film, but then there was no dial tone), telling the operator he's four, he cut himself with a knife and now he feels sick, he's alone in the house. before the operator asks for his address the phone disconnects. the voice kevin has been hearing, we assume, heals kevin's eye, telling him it can do anything. we see a montage of family photos where everyone's head is either distorted or completely missing, then a gruesome sequence where, camera upside down, a TON of blood splatters onto the carpet, rewinding and playing over and over, scored by the distorted screams of a small child. there is a long sequence showing a pile of kids' toys in the ceiling corner of a hallway like a wasps' nest overlaid with the phrase "572 days", a door in a dark void, and then a house in a dark void. finally, a dark screen with a barely-visible face which says "go to sleep." a child's voice from off screen asks, "what's your name?" a few seconds pass, "what's your name?" endslate. i may have gotten the order of the blood splatter and the toys and the door mixed up. i don't know that it really matters.</p><p>so. as i said before, the atmosphere of this film is terrific. the whispered, sometimes inaudable dialogue with subtitles is used to great effect-- even and especially in my least favorite parts. when kevin goes into the basement after kaylee, we only hear a few faint, closed-mouth whimpers, but the subtitles read (paraphrasing), "kevin? i'm scared. i feel strange." before the reveal that kaylee's face is gone. preddy good. i just hate that reveal so much.&nbsp;</p><p>there are three or four big jumpscares in this movie-- three or four moments where we get to see what the <em>purpose</em> of all this tension is, what it's all leading up to. they're all groaners, imo. the first is kaylee with her eyes and mouth gone. she looks like a creepypasta picture. i was literally embarrassed that it made me jump. the second (maybe not strictly a jumpscare) kevin crying and a shot of his eyeball blood all over the dishwasher. why did that happened. the third is the toy phone, which makes a loud noise and has a scary face for a second. OK. the last one (maybe also not strictly a jumpscare) is kevin getting horrifically mauled offscreen and crying. this part made me feel like i was watching a rotten dot com video.&nbsp;</p><p>i want to stress that it's not the severity of these things that makes me dislike them; fire walk with my is one of my favorite movies and its subject matter is extremely grim. i like FWWM because david lynch uses the dark parts of laura's story to say something about evil and murder and death. it's not by any means a good-defeats-evil morality tale, but beyond being harrowing and scary laura's death is tragic because it, y'know, means something. BOB is not just a spooky scary demon, but a representation of evil that ties back to something real and not supernatural, namely, leland's sexual abuse of laura. to use another horror movie about a family as an example, jack torrance was already abusing danny and wendy before they got to the hauntedness of the overlook hotel. i know skinamarink can't be judged along the same yardstick as most movies, but most <em>stories, </em>in any media, use the elements within them in service of their characters for a reason. kevin and kaylee aren't given much character, in fact, the uncharitable part of me wants to say that using toddlers as your main characters is a bit of a cheat in the form of an automatic save-the-cat. of course i care when the sadistic demon hurts them, they're in kindergarten. it's just strange the way this uber atmospheric art film briefly takes a dive into edgelord territory with shocking but emotionally empty violence. you could argue that the main characters are too young to deliver any real emotionally nuanced story, but i think if you're gonna have the parents in it anyway you could use their dialogue a little more effectively to give us some context, some idea <em>why</em> we're seeing these horrible things happen.</p><p>another gem from my boyfriend, this film is paradoxically scary but not good. most badness in horror comes at the expense of the scares-- a horror movie is typically bad when it is unbelievable, hokey, tryhard. plot holes and "movie logic" are usually only a problem if they take you out of the moment; atmosphere is king in horror, so if you do that right, you can take lots of artistic liberties. skinamarink, though, has high ambitions. the style of this movie sets it up quite high from the get-go. it's clear from the first frame that we're not watching a horror movie, but a Film. a Film which makes Stylistic Choices. a Film which is Inaccessible To Most Audiences By Design. a Film with an Artifical Film Grain Effect Even Though It Was Shot On Digital. you could blame me for having high expectations, but with this setup a literal scary demon in the house saying "put the knife in your eye" is like if black philip in the vvitch had said "i'm in your walls" or "kill them all" or "i'm going to jeff the kill you." no buildup toward the theme of temptation and pleasure, nothing required to contextualize the phrase, something you would just pluck out of the air as a Scary Phrase.&nbsp;</p><p>i don't want to say that skinamarink needed to have a cut-and-dry moral or a direct and obvious metaphor for something like child abuse or alcoholism, but it shouldn't have felt like watching a youtube analogue horror series. there should be SOME emotional anchor. leaving things up to the audience only really works when you give them a launch pad in the first place, and to me, a plot designed only to be decoded by matpat just isn't emotionally resonant and doesn't make for a good viewing experience, just a frustrating chore of a puzzlebox that is maybe later ameliorated by the bandaid of a neat redditor theory. it's an incomplete story. maybe i am just butthurt that one of the few tangible plot points we get is kevin hitting his head early on in the movie, pointing to a coma or it was all just a dream theory, which objectively is a suck dick direction for a movie to take. i don't know. i almost prefer matpat's coma theory to Spooky Demon In The House Puts Kevin And Kaylee In The Torture Pocket Dimension, For Kicks.</p><p>maybe i sound like a broken record, maybe i sound too harsh. but the themes of childhood ignorance and fear and familiarity and the horror of your childhood home, and even specifically, your childhood home having no windows and nothing outside of it, are things close to my heart and which i've used in my own art. i loved this movie visually and i really wanted to see where these feelings and ideas could be taken. there is really no experience like the experience of being a child and living your subjective, small, scary point of view when the comforts of routine and adult knowledge are stripped away, and i'm extra precious with that feeling because of the encroachment of the internet into all of our lives, illuminating everything in objective spotlight, taking the most intimate and emotional experiences and reducing them to only what they are, not what they mean. taking the sensory memory on the carpetburn on your knees and the glow of the TV and the shadows around the corners of ceilings and, embarrassed at the nakedness and ignorance of these emotions, turning them around into a tweet that says "lmaooo y'all really scared of footage of a doorframe 🤣🤣". the doors and windows blinking out of existence were, to me, a really effective way to communicate the specific childhood emotion attached to not having an explanation for something to us, the adult audience. i think i wanted the entity to stay this ambiguous, intentionless force, scary in the way that there's an infinitesimally small chance the atoms in your hand and the floor could line up perfectly and send your hand through the floor and get it stuck. not that a spooky sadistic demon wants to torture the kids because woooaaag isn't that fucked up, but that the kids get caught in a surreal something hopelessly bigger than themselves, inevitable.</p><p>when all is said and done, kyle edward ball is just a guy who got his start on youtube who got to make his cool weird passion project on a budget of $15,000. i'm hard on it because i wanted to like it so bad, but i am glad it was made. good job kyle</p><a name='cutid1-end'></a></description> <comments>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/5032.html?view=comments#comments</comments> <lj:security>public</lj:security> <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count> </item> <item> <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/4616.html</guid> <pubDate>Wed, 24 May 2023 15:07:28 GMT</pubDate> <title>should i watch moral orel</title> <author>teomodo</author> <link>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/4616.html</link> <description><p>dropping in for another semi-regular blog post mostly to show you guys a picture i took this week that i really liked:</p><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--vertical-mobile" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="verticalMobile"> <div class="aentry-post__img--vertical-mobile"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/10022/10022_original.jpg" fetchpriority="high" /> <figcaption></figcaption> </div> </figure><p>i'm waiting on a new drawing tablet in the mail this week since my old one has really, truly bit the dust. i'm really excited to be able to draw again! i think living in the hyperbaric chamber of unemployment has kind of allowed me to get over all the stuff i've internalized with my art and figure out how to just get to work. i think my biggest problem has been with writing, since that feels like the element of my work i'm the least practiced in. so far venture bros. is the thing i'm trying to take the most inspiration from in terms of, like, playing kind of fast and loose with these weird tragicomic arcs you're not afraid to put your characters through and let them change, not being too precious with everything but still clearly being receptive to what comes natural to both your characters and the story. i saw a video about moral orel that makes it seem like it scratches kind of a similar itch in its character writing, but i think i'm reticent to watch it just in case it's like, exactly what i want to do with never everett and completely discourages me because the thing i want to do has already been done, and better. i'm trying to be more resistant to this idea in general. you know how it is.</p><p>anyway, i said a little while ago i would stop talking so much about my comic and that's really been working out for me, so i'm going to stop talking about it here.</p></description> <comments>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/4616.html?view=comments#comments</comments> <lj:security>public</lj:security> <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count> </item> <item> <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/4587.html</guid> <pubDate>Fri, 21 Apr 2023 19:07:05 GMT</pubDate> <title>boring is good</title> <author>teomodo</author> <link>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/4587.html</link> <description><p>not a lot to report on today, in a "no news is good news" kind of way (&lt;--rhyme). i guess i'm just writing because it's been a little bit and i'd like to get more regular doing this and i took some cool pictures this week:</p><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--vertical-mobile" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="verticalMobile"> <div class="aentry-post__img--vertical-mobile"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/7763/7763_540.jpg" srcset="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/7763/7763_540.jpg 540w, https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/7763/7763_1000.jpg 1000w" sizes="500px" data-inherit-privacy="true" fetchpriority="high" /> <figcaption></figcaption> </div> </figure> <figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--vertical-mobile" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="verticalMobile"> <div class="aentry-post__img--vertical-mobile"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/8148/8148_760.jpg" srcset="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/8148/8148_760.jpg 570w, https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/8148/8148_2000.jpg 1500w" sizes="500px" data-inherit-privacy="true" loading="lazy" /> <figcaption></figcaption> </div> </figure><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--vertical-mobile" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="verticalMobile"> <div class="aentry-post__img--vertical-mobile"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/8368/8368_540.jpg" srcset="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/8368/8368_540.jpg 540w, https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/8368/8368_1000.jpg 1000w" sizes="500px" data-inherit-privacy="true" loading="lazy" /> <figcaption></figcaption> </div> </figure><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--vertical-mobile" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="verticalMobile"> <div class="aentry-post__img--vertical-mobile"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/9006/9006_540.jpg" srcset="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/9006/9006_540.jpg 540w, https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/9006/9006_1000.jpg 1000w" sizes="500px" data-inherit-privacy="true" loading="lazy" /> <figcaption></figcaption> </div> </figure><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--vertical-mobile" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="verticalMobile"> <div class="aentry-post__img--vertical-mobile"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/9638/9638_760.jpg" srcset="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/9638/9638_760.jpg 570w, https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/9638/9638_2000.jpg 1500w" sizes="500px" data-inherit-privacy="true" loading="lazy" /> <figcaption></figcaption> </div> </figure><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--vertical-mobile" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="verticalMobile"> <div class="aentry-post__img--vertical-mobile"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/8828/8828_540.png" srcset="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/8828/8828_540.png 540w, https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/8828/8828_1000.png 1000w" sizes="500px" data-inherit-privacy="true" loading="lazy" /> <figcaption></figcaption> </div> </figure><p>that last one is a porcupine! he waddled out in front of my boyfriend and i while we were hiking back. my phone's camera kind of sucks further back than about five yards, but he was really close to us.</p><p>i took like fifty pictures of different rocks in the river, but it was so pretty and SO green i couldn't help myself. my boyfriend is a geologist, so we spent a lot of our time there picking up cool rocks and showing each other. i love listening to him talk about rocks.</p><a name='cutid1-end'></a></description> <comments>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/4587.html?view=comments#comments</comments> <lj:security>public</lj:security> <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count> </item> <item> <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/4161.html</guid> <pubDate>Tue, 11 Apr 2023 15:39:50 GMT</pubDate> <title>we got ants</title> <author>teomodo</author> <link>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/4161.html</link> <description><p>i felt like i left you guys hanging with that last update; i DID end up getting to the clinic, and it was all good. they actually paid for an uber AND for commuter rail fare for my future appointments. and it's actually only about an hour commute, not three. sorry for being too harsh on you, american public transit system. you're still on thin ice though</p><p>so between therapy and <a href="https://artistryinaction.files.wordpress.com/2016/03/david_bayles_ted_orland_art_and_fear.pdf" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">this book</a> that i've been reading (read it) (it's really good read it) i've been feeling better this week. a lot of what i've been feeling and thinking about is centered on my art and comics, but i feel like i always talk about them so much and so analytically and everything i'm realizing and then nothing much changes. so i think this time i'm going to take some time and feel things out in private and not try to promise anything.&nbsp;</p><p>so i guess i'm not sure what to talk about. we had some big fat ants invading our apartment, but we took care of them. when we were buying the bait traps at home depot a mouse ran across the pest control aisle.</p><p>i always feel kind of bad when we get an infestation and we have to kill whatever it is that's getting in. we watched the ants the second day we had the bait traps out, swarming the windowsill and bringing borax back to the anthill. they have a lot of personality. whenever they rub their antennae they look like a little rabbit cleaning its ears.</p> <p>anyway. i've been thinking of somehow incorporating into these blogs a little digest of what i've been interested in lately, but which i don't have a lot to say on. i wish livejournal had that thing from old dA journals where you could set what you were currently eating, drinking, listening to, thinking about. i'll just do it myself:</p><ol> <li>researching: <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sundowning" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">sundowning</a></li> <li>reading: <a href="https://www.hplovecraft.com/writings/texts/fiction/cs.aspx" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">the colour out of space</a></li> <li>listening to: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKCd614XcmY" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">bird tutorial</a> by sidney gish</li> <li>browsing: <a href="https://geocities.ws/mariteaux/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">this delightful geocities.ws site</a></li> <li>yearning for:</li></ol><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--vertical-mobile" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="verticalMobile"> <div class="aentry-post__img--vertical-mobile"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/7580/7580_540.png" srcset="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/7580/7580_540.png 540w, https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/7580/7580_original.png 1140w" sizes="500px" fetchpriority="high" /> <figcaption></figcaption> </div> </figure><a name='cutid1-end'></a></description> <comments>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/4161.html?view=comments#comments</comments> <lj:security>public</lj:security> <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count> </item> <item> <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/4049.html</guid> <pubDate>Fri, 24 Mar 2023 18:43:16 GMT</pubDate> <title>i am regretting not getting my license</title> <author>teomodo</author> <link>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/4049.html</link> <description><p>good news: i took the initiative on getting some help for my OCD. bad news: next week i'm going to have to spend three hours on public transit to get to said help (america moment)</p><p>i guess i really shouldn't complain. technically i am at liberty to reschedule sometime when my boyfriend can drive me, but i probably won't.</p> <p>it's good though. everything's good. i've been making an effort generally to reach out and talk to people more and get help when i need it, and i feel better already. i think in isolation it's really easy to forget that other people see you as a human who is worthy of respect de facto and just assume that everyone is going to know all the gorey details you know about yourself and judge you as hard as you do for them. i had (still have tbh) this fixation on being "able" to have fun, and this idea that i had killed my own ability to have fun and do things just because i wanted to was completely paralyzing. i looked at the kind of internetty art that i tend to like, newgrounds animations and music like logan whitehurst, and i had this *thing* that was like, because i already have this self-conscious knowledge, because i've been irrevocably infected with the awareness that other people can see my art and think it sucks, i'll never be able to get back to that pre-knowledge state where i can make things without a second thought. i think to a degree it's true that you can usually tell when a piece of media comes out of a place of insecurity vs. when the artist is confident in themself and having fun, but i was pushing it into this really debilitating, black-and-white territory. i kind of can't believe it took me as long as it did to realize that that confidence in your work doesn't come out of complete ignorance of criticism, but just... confidence? like, a support network, a good attitude. i don't know. it makes me feel really good to journal about these things and get them out onto paper so i can look at them objectively, but i always feel so dumb for having struggled with something so obvious in retrospect. i'm choosing to blame seasonal depression. spring ftw.</p><p>so. i feel like i'm erring on the side of oversharing, but i'm ok with it. if i run the risk of being annoying i'm doing it on my own website, as is my right.</p><a name='cutid1-end'></a></description> <comments>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/4049.html?view=comments#comments</comments> <lj:security>public</lj:security> <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count> </item> <item> <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/3640.html</guid> <pubDate>Wed, 15 Mar 2023 15:53:28 GMT</pubDate> <title>does anyone know when the things you used to be passionate about stop feeling joyless and obligatory</title> <author>teomodo</author> <link>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/3640.html</link> <description><p>as the greatest philosopher of our time, Cake, once said, i'm not feeling alright today; i'm not feeling that great. generally when i feel like this i try to do the healthy thing and never talk to anyone about it, ever, and leave it to sit in the proverbial pressure cooker until it explodes and i can cry a lot in absolute private and then forget about it until it happens again. i don't think anyone actually reads this blog, though, so this is an OK alternative</p><p>two of the things i know about myself are that 1) it's really easy for me to take fun, silly hobbies of mine and twist them into a gutting test of self-worth which i fail if i can find one thing wrong with the thing i made (for fun) (as a hobby) and 2) i self isolate a lot which makes everything worse and 3) i always try to find an outside source of blame for my self-sabotaging as if it's completely set in stone that since certain things happened to me in childhood i am completely unable to make a better life for myself as an adult and 4) i can't count.</p> <p>i guess in terms of first practical steps it'd be a good idea to quit self isolating, which is sort of what i feel like i'm doing here. i've always had this idea that there's a certain way i want to be perceived on the internet, that if i come across as though i want human connection on here i would be cringe, completely killing the hope of positive human connection in the first place. i don't really care anymore. i'm resigned to the idea that that detachment is a luxury reserved for people who have friends they can see in real life on the regular. for me though overcoming my fear of discord servers is becoming a survival skill, like mushroom foraging.</p><p>am i being a little overdramatic? yes, probably, but recently everything has felt overdramatic and i'd like to experiment a little and see what happens if i just start leaning into it. i think i've choked out my real feelings on everything for so long that they're pretty much completely disconnected from reality, like i've been keeping this little creature in my dark basement and it's grown into something big and weird that no one will recognize anymore, but/so now i want to take it for a walk. i'm aware this sounds very early aughts livejournal, but i'm wearing it proudly. i just have to make some kind of public declaration that i'm over my obsession with what other people think of me, so that other people can see it, and then it'll be validated. i would much rather tell the truth and say that the corny tumblr music i listen to is important to me because it's difficult for me to have fun and be weird and silly on my own so i listen to weird fun silly music like lemon demon and TMBG than to preempt every mention of it, any sign of appreciation for it, with a tacit "sorry, i know this is cringe." to be perfectly honest i haven't even been more than playfully teased about my music taste, my mind has just latched on to the IDEA of ridicule. i'll never achieve my lifelong dream of being as cool as bjork with an attitude like that so clearly something's gotta give</p><p>alright anyway. i feel better with all that out there. here's a song i've been working on [<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m19BYq5BTMA" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">youtube link</a>]:</p><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--media"><iframe width="640" height="360" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" src="https://vp.rambler.ru/player/embed.html?widget=Player&id=2135155"></iframe></figure><a name='cutid1-end'></a></description> <comments>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/3640.html?view=comments#comments</comments> <lj:security>public</lj:security> <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count> </item> <item> <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/3164.html</guid> <pubDate>Mon, 06 Feb 2023 15:48:46 GMT</pubDate> <title>quarterly life update</title> <author>teomodo</author> <link>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/3164.html</link> <description><p>hello teomodo nation. i'm writing to you from a Stay America hotel room while far away the gallons of water soaked into our apartment's carpet start to mold. don't worry; we were looking for an excuse to move anyway.</p><p>all things considered, it could have been a lot worse. luckily nothing electrical nor very expensive was ruined. our bed, food, and clothes all stayed dry and i still have everything i need to continue working on comics (yes i have been working on them). speaking of, reflecting on my last post after having spent some time dealing with A Real Problem i thought it sounded exceptionally whiny. not that i want something like this to happen again, but i'm always grateful for the shift in perspective that big unpleasant life events give you, away from the mundane. i know personally i'm really, really good at getting myself pigeonholed into a myopic, horse-blindersy mindset where i look through a microscope to find problems when left to my own devices. right now things i had problems with like drawing comics and exercising feel uncomplicated compared to finding a new apartment and coordinating moving our stuff and sorting through what got ruined and throwing it out. so thanks, i guess, burst hot water pipe.</p> <p>so! i'm taking advantage of my mindset and busting out as much as i can in the way of comics as soon as i can. i'm hoping the current one, THRIVE, will be done and up on gumroad and patreon, like, next week? (famous last words) and then my next priority is the first chapter of never everett, which is MUCH further along writing-wise than it was the first time i tried to post it.</p><p><br></p><a name='cutid1-end'></a></description> <comments>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/3164.html?view=comments#comments</comments> <lj:security>public</lj:security> <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count> </item> <item> <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/2951.html</guid> <pubDate>Thu, 13 Oct 2022 01:27:30 GMT</pubDate> <title>comic stuff, mostly</title> <author>teomodo</author> <link>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/2951.html</link> <description><p>how do people who live alone get anything done. i feel like i'm the most unproductive person on earth and having nothing but my own company i'm being a bad influence on myself.</p><p>anyway, here's some of what i *have* been working on, when i've been working:</p><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--vertical-mobile" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="verticalMobile"> <div class="aentry-post__img--vertical-mobile"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/7414/7414_540.png" srcset="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/7414/7414_540.png 540w, https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/7414/7414_1000.png 1000w" sizes="500px" data-inherit-privacy="true" fetchpriority="high" /> <figcaption></figcaption> </div> </figure><p>as you might've noticed, i've been taking a break on updates on never everett the past few weeks. i think all the nerves and novelty and logistical things to figure out with starting a new webcomic freaked my brain out, so i wasn't operating at full capacity. i'm debating whether or not i want to redo all the pages i've already posted or just move forward with it. i think i could probably make the first chapter a little tighter and more interesting and more in line with my idea of future pages, it's just... y'know, more work.</p><p>for the time being i think i'm gonna post plot relevant never everett stuff on the patreon and work a little more actively on yakima/key largo, whose title page has been sitting neglected on the website for longer than i'd like to admit.</p> <p>so yeah that's it for srs stuff. in more fun stuff patch and i started succession recently and it's reeeally really good. i did NOT think i was gonna like kendall as much as i do, i feel like he gets stuck in the shit so often that you just can't help but feel so bad for him... i was a lot more prepared to like roman just because of kieran culkin; wallace was always my favorite scott pilgrim character (next to knives chau). i love that roman constantly looks like he's been dipped in vaseline and that he always acts like an angry chihuahua. shiv is probably my favorite though, her relationship with tom is physically painful to watch. you can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half, but it's every conversation he has with shiv.</p><p>anyway yeah that's it</p><a name='cutid1-end'></a></description> <comments>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/2951.html?view=comments#comments</comments> <lj:security>public</lj:security> <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count> </item> <item> <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/2742.html</guid> <pubDate>Tue, 30 Aug 2022 18:52:28 GMT</pubDate> <title>do you guys remember beanie babies</title> <author>teomodo</author> <link>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/2742.html</link> <description><p>hello! long time no blog. i'm moved into the new apartment i mentioned in the last post. stepped on a dead mouse my first week here. it was awesome</p><p>in between unpacking/cleaning/killing spiders i've been working on my comics in a much bigger/more structured way than i was able to before. which is great! but a little daunting. consistency, time management and scheduling have never been my strong suit, but i'm really grateful that i get to give it a shot and make comics my full time job right now (<a href="https://www.patreon.com/teomodo" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">cough cough cough</a>). not having an externally imposed structure in my life like school or a real job has been, i think, challenging in the best way. it's been a constant process of realizing that my mom was right about everything. you know i went to bed at 9pm the other night? and i felt great the next morning? do you guys know about this?</p> <p>i've also been reading more... i started to physically feel my phone corroding my brain cells so i'm tucking into the books i've been putting off. i finished 'the great beanie baby bubble' by zac bissonnette yesterday, which is all about the speculative market around beanie babies from 1996--1999. i originally started reading it because i had nfts on the brain and this particular speculative market mania was less grating to learn about. the beanie babies craze was mostly just depressing. i feel like infodumping about it but i don't even know where to start. it just has that perfect blend of a human element consisting of extremely broken, angry people who tragically can't stop hurting each other and themselves, juxtaposed with a really goofy subject matter. that kind of story both in fiction and nonfiction are just so captivating to me. the way it's sad and dramatic and a little philosophical-poetic-human-naturey but you have a hard time taking anything in it seriously because the image of a beanie baby's face will pop into your head at the most dramatic moment. but then it makes you think about ALL the things we take really seriously and get in fights and lose relationships over... maybe they're just as silly as beanie babies... hmmmm..........</p><p>anyway. it reminded me of the beanie babies i had as a kid. i still miss them! these two were my favorites:</p><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--vertical-mobile aentry-post__figure--has-text" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="verticalMobile"> <div class="aentry-post__img--vertical-mobile"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/6463/6463_540.png" srcset="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/6463/6463_540.png 540w, https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/6463/6463_original.png 640w" sizes="500px" alt="patti the platypus" title="patti the platypus" data-inherit-privacy="true" fetchpriority="high" /> <figcaption>patti the platypus</figcaption> </div> </figure><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--vertical-mobile aentry-post__figure--has-text" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="verticalMobile"> <div class="aentry-post__img--vertical-mobile"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/6698/6698_540.png" srcset="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/6698/6698_540.png 540w, https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/6698/6698_original.png 1000w" sizes="500px" alt="magic the dragon" title="magic the dragon" data-inherit-privacy="true" loading="lazy" /> <figcaption>magic the dragon</figcaption> </div> </figure><p>i remember in kindergarten a kid made a mark on the beak of my patti the platypus with a bic pen and i was inconsolable. sobbing, open weeping, even. it came off, though.&nbsp;</p><p>so yeah that's it for now</p><a name='cutid1-end'></a></description> <comments>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/2742.html?view=comments#comments</comments> <lj:security>public</lj:security> <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count> </item> <item> <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/2506.html</guid> <pubDate>Sat, 23 Jul 2022 13:51:18 GMT</pubDate> <title>life update</title> <author>teomodo</author> <link>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/2506.html</link> <description><p>in spite of what you may have heard, i'm not dead! just in the mountains. here's my view right now:</p><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--vertical-mobile" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="verticalMobile"> <div class="aentry-post__img--vertical-mobile"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/6046/6046_540.jpg" srcset="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/6046/6046_540.jpg 540w, https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/6046/6046_1000.jpg 1000w" sizes="500px" data-inherit-privacy="true" fetchpriority="high" /> <figcaption></figcaption> </div> </figure><p>i figured it would be good for me to take a bit of a break from everything while i'm here. truth be told i've just been feeling weird about my art lately. i think it's really easy for me to get into this weird compulsive mindset and make up a bunch of internal rules for myself that suck all the creativity out of me and make me not want to do it anymore. in the time i've been here i've been trying to intentionally get rid of that and make my art a little weirder and more loosey-goosey and natural. been watching some angry beavers toward that end. the hope is that once i've left here and moved into my new apartment [in about a week!] i'll have cleared out all that mental gunk and my new comics will be better for it. i have LOTS of fun plans for never everett! the beginning is just boring!!!</p><p>SO, thank you all for bearing with me. i'm juggling a lot mentally right now, but it's all good. i really like being around people who aren't on the internet all the time; i feel like i've taken the horse blinders off and i have a better perspective on everything.</p><p>new pages up as soon as i get all the poetry and tree drawings out of my system</p> <p>p.s. had a dream last night that a white pit bull with blue eyes tried to bite me, but he just got my shirt and wouldn't let go. when i looked at his dog tag it said, i think, "ICHE/1-93-1997". something like that, where the phone number wasn't a phone number. what does it mean???</p><a name='cutid1-end'></a></description> <comments>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/2506.html?view=comments#comments</comments> <lj:security>public</lj:security> <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count> </item> <item> <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/2248.html</guid> <pubDate>Mon, 04 Jul 2022 03:28:42 GMT</pubDate> <title>twin peaks and challenger deep</title> <author>teomodo</author> <link>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/2248.html</link> <description><p>i've been playing with <a href="https://neal.fun/deep-sea/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">this website</a> and it's been giving me lots of thoughts</p><p>my boyfriend and i were talking today about twin peaks season three, specifically the ending when richard and carrie page go back to the palmer house. i had talked about how i don't think the multiple universe thing with dale-richard and laura-carrie can be explained in the same way the marvel multiverse or a movie like inception has rules for its reality-bending; i think it's just something to be felt. and i did feel it-- it got me thinking about how we change as people when we move through time and how moments from your childhood can feel so fuzzy and distant, like dreams. especially if you've moved from your childhood home or you don't talk to the people you were around then or anything else where everything changed while you were coming of age and the person you are now is so far removed from the person you were then that you can't believe you have these memories. i got that feeling watching the last scene, especially when we see the palmer house from the outside at night. in fire walk with me, we see the house like we live there--we see a lot of laura's room and the beige walls and the ceiling fan and the living room. it feels familiar. but you don't often have occasion to see your own home from the street at night. it makes it look foreign. like, look in there, in the window. doesn't that make you feel like an intruder? you sleep in there.</p> <p>but then we hear the really faint far away voice of sarah calling for laura, which brings it all back to carrie, and she screams. as much as i hate to admit it, part of what makes the ending for me is sheryl lee's scream. it makes me feel like a funko pop collector nerdboy to be like auuhh she did the scream, remember from the original, but i think after 18 hours of strange people and strange happenings-- strange in the sense that a stranger is strange, as in, estranged-- it is powerful to have something familiar. it brings you back to the first episode of season one and it reignites that feeling, like, wow, can you believe we were ever here in the first place? knowing what we know now? and isn't it tragic that trauma is what brings us back here?</p><p>i think it hit me so hard because thinking of my own childhood can tend to feel foreign in the same way. i moved from my childhood home when i was 12 and i don't remember much about it. but now and again something will bring me back to where i was as a child before i knew that there were things i didn't know, before i knew that other people thought and felt, when i had kind of a purity of feeling. there's probably a better way to phrase it, but there's something about feeling and experiencing in an unexamined way that i struggle now to get back to. it's mostly now when i'm confronted with things that cannot be out in the open, like extremely private childhood memories and knowledge that remains hidden not because of my own ignorance, but everyone's. does this make sense? we don't have times hardly at all anymore where we can't know something. we always have algorithms pushing world &amp; pop culture events in our face and if we want to know anything in particular, we can google it. there's a cheapening of the experience of wonder and curiosity and discovery when everything is right there in black and white, always right, all the time. this is where i start to talk about the website i linked up top.</p><p>i love the scarcity of deep sea life photography. i love that the sheer scale of the ocean still forces us to leave some things up to happenstance. you can't guarantee that you'll get a photo of a narwhal or a tripod fish because there is no way to wrangle them into your timeslot that you have in the submersible. i love the near cryptid status of the colossal squid.</p><p>the other thing i like about this website is the gradient background, enveloping you in a nice dark space as you go down. i love the dark, in this context. i'm thinking of when the classroom lights are off and you're watching something on the projector and you're in your own head a bit more. i always feel more alone, as in, not being watched, in the dark. maybe more like the near dark, like waking up a half hour before sunrise. you're alone and world isn't expecting you yet and nobody's watching you from their windows. you can't help but feel at peace. the dark starts right around the killer whale.</p><p>the aloneness of near darkness gives you this refreshing freedom to be completely genuine, i think. all of the memories i have from before the constant self-consciousness and from before the OCD and the living in fear started feel vignetted in this shadow. they're not all physically dark, but the spotlight, like, the awareness of eyes on me, was gone. it wasn't even a thought yet.</p><p>i associate creativity with this kind of darkness too, i think. i feel a kind of connection with heavy blacks that you see in a lot of 90s/early 00s cartoons:</p><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--vertical-mobile aentry-post__figure--has-text" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="verticalMobile"> <div class="aentry-post__img--vertical-mobile"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/1038/1038_540.png" srcset="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/1038/1038_540.png 540w, https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/1038/1038_original.png 800w" sizes="500px" alt="duckman: private dick/family man" title="duckman: private dick/family man" fetchpriority="high" /> <figcaption>duckman: private dick/family man</figcaption> </div> </figure><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--vertical-mobile aentry-post__figure--has-text" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="verticalMobile"> <div class="aentry-post__img--vertical-mobile"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/1783/1783_540.png" srcset="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/1783/1783_540.png 540w, https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/1783/1783_original.png 1024w" sizes="500px" alt="scary godmother" title="scary godmother" loading="lazy" /> <figcaption>scary godmother</figcaption> </div> </figure><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--vertical-mobile aentry-post__figure--has-text" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="verticalMobile"> <div class="aentry-post__img--vertical-mobile"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/5008/5008_540.jpg" srcset="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/5008/5008_540.jpg 540w, https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/5008/5008_original.jpg 633w" sizes="500px" alt="the adventures of sam and max: freelance police" title="the adventures of sam and max: freelance police" loading="lazy" /> <figcaption>the adventures of sam and max: freelance police</figcaption> </div> </figure><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--vertical-mobile aentry-post__figure--has-text" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="verticalMobile"> <div class="aentry-post__img--vertical-mobile"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/2092/2092_540.png" srcset="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/2092/2092_540.png 540w, https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/2092/2092_original.png 1923w" sizes="500px" alt="hey arnold!" title="hey arnold!" loading="lazy" /> <figcaption>hey arnold!</figcaption> </div> </figure><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--vertical-mobile aentry-post__figure--has-text" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="verticalMobile"> <div class="aentry-post__img--vertical-mobile"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/5698/5698_540.jpg" srcset="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/5698/5698_540.jpg 540w, https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/5698/5698_original.jpg 633w" sizes="500px" alt="spongebob squarepants" title="spongebob squarepants" loading="lazy" /> <figcaption>spongebob squarepants</figcaption> </div> </figure><p>maybe it's not *just* the use of black, but i hope i'm conveying what i mean. it's something about how it's not brightly colored transparent vector art. it's not easy to replicate the look and feel of these things because they come out of a place that's not concerned with marketability and branding and getting eyes on it. it's a product of the time it was made and, more importantly, the people it was made by. the lineart isn't infinitely scalable because it was drawn for the size it was drawn for, and maybe since then screens have gotten bigger, but its moment is gone and we can just remember it. we can celebrate the incompatibility of this art with the constant brand newness of the technology we view it on instead of trying to rectify it by changing the art. if we celebrate it how it was made to exist maybe we won't lose the part of ourselves this art represents to that constant newness.</p><p>so anyway, i hope this made any sense at all and i was able to make you feel how i'm feeling. if not, lemme try one more time: here's a photo of my favorite shark, the greenland shark. they think the oldest one they've ever found lived to be 512 years old. five hundred years of swimming in the deep ocean.</p><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--text-width" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="standart"> <div class="aentry-post__img--text-width"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/3821/3821_original.png" loading="lazy" /> <figcaption></figcaption> </div> </figure><p>p.s. speaking of 90s cartoons, some of the animals on the deep sea website reminded me of aaahh real monsters:</p><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--text-width" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="standart"> <div class="aentry-post__img--text-width" style="width: 302px;"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/2627/2627_original.jpg" loading="lazy" /> <figcaption></figcaption> </div> </figure><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--text-width" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="standart"> <div class="aentry-post__img--text-width" style="width: 324px;"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/2821/2821_original.jpg" loading="lazy" /> <figcaption></figcaption> </div> </figure><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--text-width" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="standart"> <div class="aentry-post__img--text-width" style="width: 257px;"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/3307/3307_original.jpg" loading="lazy" /> <figcaption></figcaption> </div> </figure><a name='cutid1-end'></a></description> <comments>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/2248.html?view=comments#comments</comments> <lj:security>public</lj:security> <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count> </item> <item> <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/1778.html</guid> <pubDate>Thu, 30 Jun 2022 04:24:52 GMT</pubDate> <title>i &lt;3 instant gratification</title> <author>teomodo</author> <link>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/1778.html</link> <description><p>so the page that was supposed to go up on patreon on tuesday still isn't done but i made new header images for the site and i really really like how they turned out. i also started playing around in lmms today and discovered i like it SOOO much better than cakewalk. there's like... an intuitive ui! you can FIND the things you need!!!</p><p>but anyway, ideally (lol) i wanna focus on the next never everett page for rn. i did the first five all in a batch and i think that helped me keep a sense of perspective with, like, each page's place in the flow of the scene, so i'll probably do that again for the next five pages.</p><p>i know my priorities should be on things with deadlines but i keep finding myself sidetracked with little projects. i have another idea for a site button and a couple short comics and my music that i reeeallyyy want to work on but there's only so much time in a day (arghhh)</p><p><br></p></description> <comments>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/1778.html?view=comments#comments</comments> <lj:security>public</lj:security> <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count> </item> <item> <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/1328.html</guid> <pubDate>Sat, 25 Jun 2022 02:29:30 GMT</pubDate> <title>hooo</title> <author>teomodo</author> <link>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/1328.html</link> <description><p>fully committing to this blog being primarily for my neocities audience, so if you're not viewing this on neocities, click <a href="https://teomodo.neocities.org/blog.html" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">here </a>to fix that.</p><p>the first five pages of my comic have been up on my <a href="https://www.patreon.com/teomodo" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">patreon </a>since tuesday! they'll go on neocities <a href="https://teomodo.neocities.org/comic.html" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">here </a>next tuesday and then every update will go live a week early on the patreon. did i say that in a previous post already? who cares</p><p>the next page is where things start to get even remotely interesting (which i'm fine with, slow build ftw) so i'm tryyyeeeeng really hard to get it done on schedule. i think i can do it. not that it really matters since my patrons atm consist of my close family who i'm sure would not get mad over a late page but it's the PRINCIPLE of the thing.</p><p>i also discovered there are apparently no active comic-art-based webrings on neocities? none that i could find, anyway. there should be!</p></description> <comments>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/1328.html?view=comments#comments</comments> <lj:security>public</lj:security> <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count> </item> <item> <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/1111.html</guid> <pubDate>Sun, 22 May 2022 02:04:35 GMT</pubDate> <title>new shirt!</title> <author>teomodo</author> <link>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/1111.html</link> <description><p>remember in the last post when i said i was gonna work on shirt designs... <a href="https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/smug-as-a-bug-by-teomodo/111444127.9V5H1" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">I DID</a>! one of them. i have two more that i want to do, but one of them is embroidered so i'll have to find somewhere other than redbubble to make it. i made a <a href="https://www.patreon.com/teomodo" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">patreon</a> to put all my wips on so i think i'm gonna post more about it on there.&nbsp;</p><p>i tried to set things up so that nothing will change for anyone following me that isn't a patron. right now it's for if you wanna see wips and early comic pages and stuff.</p><p>so yeah that's it. i'm having fun in blender</p><figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--text-width" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="standart"> <div class="aentry-post__img--text-width"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/592/592_800.png" srcset="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/592/592_800.png 800w, https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/592/592_original.png 1435w" sizes="800px" data-inherit-privacy="true" fetchpriority="high" /> <figcaption></figcaption> </div> </figure> <figure class="aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--text-width" data-figure-type="image" data-image-type="standart"> <div class="aentry-post__img--text-width"> <img style="max-width: 100%" src="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/1000/1000_800.png" srcset="https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/1000/1000_800.png 800w, https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/teomodo/91026557/1000/1000_original.png 1435w" sizes="800px" data-inherit-privacy="true" loading="lazy" /> <figcaption></figcaption> </div> </figure><p><br></p><a name='cutid1-end'></a></description> <comments>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/1111.html?view=comments#comments</comments> <lj:security>public</lj:security> <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count> </item> <item> <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/817.html</guid> <pubDate>Mon, 16 May 2022 04:11:18 GMT</pubDate> <title>the javascript bends to my will</title> <author>teomodo</author> <link>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/817.html</link> <description><p>so i've finally managed to wrangle geno7's rarebit code into the neocities and i'm not going to lie it's making me feel like a JS wizard. unstoppable. ENDLESS doorways opened. the power pulsing in my fingertips. my bloodline smiling down upon me. that last part is only half a joke because my parents did work at ibm but i think they'd be more disappointed than anything that it took me three days to figure out how to clear my cache.</p><p>anyway. now that's functional and my to-do list is slightly smaller. next up isss (spinning a big wheel) ...t shirt designs!!! maybe. if i feel like it. i have a few that have been rattling around in my head. original designs so redbubble can't hit me with another copyright strike. shakes my fist at no one.</p><p>i'll try to keep this blog more updated as i make more stuff. i'm in the privileged position of crashing on my mom's couch right now and i don't have a minimum wage job cramping my style (⌐■_■)👍</p></description> <comments>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/817.html?view=comments#comments</comments> <lj:security>public</lj:security> <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count> </item> <item> <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/615.html</guid> <pubDate>Sun, 17 Apr 2022 02:38:30 GMT</pubDate> <title>ignore this post</title> <author>teomodo</author> <link>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/615.html</link> <description><p>i need a public post to test the rss feed viewer i'm using. don't look!!!</p></description> <comments>https://teomodo.livejournal.com/615.html?view=comments#comments</comments> <lj:security>public</lj:security> <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count> </item></channel></rss> 
