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Source: https://marisapeer.com/feed/

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<title>Building a Resilient Mindset: How To Overcome Life’s Challenges</title>
<link>https://marisapeer.com/building-a-resilient-mindset-how-to-overcome-lifes-challenges/</link>
<comments>https://marisapeer.com/building-a-resilient-mindset-how-to-overcome-lifes-challenges/#respond</comments>
<dc:creator><![CDATA[Marisa Peer]]></dc:creator>
<pubDate>Mon, 24 Apr 2023 15:12:05 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Self Improvement]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">https://marisapeer.com/?p=46705</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity and overcome life’s challenges. It’s the secret sauce that enables some people to thrive in the face of difficulties. In this article, I will share how you can build a resilient mindset by understanding the profound “Rules of The Mind” and using them to overcome your […]]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity and overcome life’s challenges. It’s the secret sauce that enables some people to thrive in the face of difficulties.
In this article, I will share how you can build a resilient mindset by understanding the profound “Rules of The Mind” and using them to overcome your most limiting beliefs.
You will also learn practical tips to activate your inner cheerleader, build unshakable confidence, and unlock the life of abundance that is within you.
So, let’s begin this journey and discover how you can become an unstoppable force in your life with the mental tools to achieve anything you set your mind to!
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-the-power-of-understanding-the-rules-of-the-mind">The Power of Understanding the Rules of the Mind</h2>
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The “Rules of the Mind” are a set of principles I created to not only help you understand how your mind works, but also how to make your mind work for you rather than against you.
By understanding these rules, you can harness the power of your mind to build remarkable resilience and overcome any challenge that comes your way. Some of the key rules include:
<ol>
<li>Your mind does what it thinks you want it to do: Your mind is constantly trying to protect you and meet your needs. If you communicate to your mind that you want something, it will work to help you achieve it. </li>
<li>Imagination is more powerful than knowledge when dealing with your mind: Your mind responds more strongly to your imagination than to facts or logic. By using your imagination to create vivid images and scenarios, you can influence your mind to create the outcome you most desire. </li>
<li>Your mind responds to the pictures and words it hears: The language you use and the images you create in your mind have a significant impact on your thoughts, feelings, and actions. By using positive language and visualization techniques, you can empower yourself to direct your mind toward success in every area of your life. </li>
<li>Your mind is hardwired to move towards pleasure and away from pain: Your mind naturally seeks out experiences that bring pleasure and avoids those that cause pain. Therefore, by associating positive feelings with your goals, you can create a powerful motivating force that will help you overcome challenges and achieve success. </li>
</ol>
To build resilience, it’s essential to use these rules to your advantage. For example, using positive language and visualization techniques can be a powerful tool in helping you overcome obstacles and achieve your goals. To learn more about the fascinating “Rules of The Mind,” explore my enlightening article on <a href="https://marisapeer.com/how-to-control-your-thoughts-rules-of-the-mind/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">how to control your thoughts.</a>
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-conquering-limiting-beliefs-the-key-to-a-resilient-mindset">Conquering Limiting Beliefs: The Key to a Resilient Mindset</h2>
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" width="800" height="533" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/shutterstock_264221285-1.jpg" alt="Hands cutting up a small piece of paper that says "I can't" to turn it into "I can"" class="wp-image-46708" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/shutterstock_264221285-1.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/shutterstock_264221285-1-300x200.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/shutterstock_264221285-1-768x512.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
Limiting beliefs are negative thoughts that hold you back from reaching your full, limitless potential. To build a resilient mindset, it’s crucial to identify and overcome these beliefs. Some common limiting beliefs include:
<ul>
<li>I’m not good enough.</li>
<li>I don’t deserve success.</li>
<li>I can’t handle failure.</li>
<li>Change is too difficult.</li>
</ul>
 To overcome limiting beliefs, try these effective strategies:
<ol>
<li>Identify the limiting belief: Recognize the negative thoughts that are holding you back and write them down. By bringing these beliefs to the surface, you can begin to challenge and replace them. </li>
<li>Challenge the belief: Ask yourself if the belief is true, and look for evidence to the contrary. Often, you’ll find that your limiting beliefs are not based on reality and can be dismantled with logic and reason. </li>
<li>Replace the belief: Create a new, positive belief to replace the old one. For example, change “I’m not good enough” to “I am capable and deserving of success.” Repeat this new belief regularly to reprogram your mind and build resilience. </li>
</ol>
For more advice on how you can successfully overcome limiting beliefs, please listen to my interview with Bernardo Moya, all about <a href="https://marisapeer.com/self-belief-and-overcoming-obstacles/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">self-belief and overcoming obstacles</a>.
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-practical-tips-for-building-resilience-tools-for-a-stronger-mindset">Practical Tips for Building Resilience: Tools for a Stronger Mindset</h2>
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" width="800" height="371" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/shutterstock_1258178125-1.jpg" alt="Child dressed up as a superhero with a red cape flowing against a turquoise background. " class="wp-image-46709" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/shutterstock_1258178125-1.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/shutterstock_1258178125-1-300x139.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/shutterstock_1258178125-1-768x356.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
Building resilience is a vital skill that can help you navigate life’s challenges and achieve success.
Over my 30+ year career as a therapist, I have developed many practical tips and tools that you can use to build a stronger mindset and develop unshakable confidence.
Here are some of my favorite practical tips to help you build a robust and resilient mindset:
<ol>
<li>Activate your inner cheerleader: Praise and encourage yourself regularly. Instead of relying on external validation, it’s so important to celebrate your achievements and allow yourself to progress on your own. Once you learn to accept <a href="https://marisapeer.com/why-you-need-praise-from-yourself-more-than-anyone-else/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">why you need praise from yourself more than anyone else</a>, you will have built a strong foundation for self-confidence and resilience to flourish. </li>
<li>Build unshakable confidence: Develop a strong sense of self-worth and self-belief by focusing on your strengths and accomplishments. Once you learn the secrets of <a href="https://marisapeer.com/how-to-be-confident-all-the-time/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">how to be confident all the time</a>, you will start to recognize your unique talents and abilities and use them to face challenges without the fear of failure. </li>
<li>Embody an abundant mindset: When you focus on the abundance that surrounds you, it becomes far easier to shift away from a scarcity mindset. Acknowledge the boundless potential that exists both within yourself and in the world, and cultivate a mindset of gratitude for the resources available to you. By doing so, you can start living a life of abundance and unlock opportunities you never thought possible. To learn more about the fascinating difference between a scarcity mindset and a millionaire mindset, check out <a href="https://marisapeer.com/scarcity-mindset-vs-millionaire-mindset/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">this article</a>. </li>
<li>Silence your internal critic: Don’t let the negative voice in your mind hold you back. Instead, empower yourself to challenge its validity and replace them with positive affirmations. Recognize your worth, talents, and achievements, and cultivate a supportive inner dialogue. With practice, you can learn <a href="https://marisapeer.com/positive-mental-attitude/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">how to stop listening to your internal critic</a> and become your own biggest cheerleader. </li>
<li>Practice self-compassion: Remember to treat yourself with kindness and understanding, particularly when facing difficult situations. Imagine yourself as your own best friend, offering the same care and compassion that you would give to someone you love. This is a powerful tool for cultivating a strong and resilient mindset that can help you overcome any obstacle. Learn more about the importance of self-compassion and how to practice it in your daily life by exploring my teachings on <a href="https://marisapeer.com/how-to-take-care-of-yourself/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">how to be kind to yourself and others</a>. </li>
<li>Develop a growth mindset: Adopt the attitude that you are always capable of learning, growing, and developing. Rather than seeing challenges as overwhelming hurdles, view them as chances to enhance your personal growth and expand your knowledge. This mindset encourages you to approach difficulties with curiosity, persistence, and resilience. </li>
<li>Cultivate strong relationships: Support and connection are paramount to our ability to thrive as humans, so take the time to cultivate strong relationships with friends, family, and colleagues. Seek out those who uplift and encourage you, and be willing to offer the same in return. Having a supportive network to lean on during tough times can make all the difference in your ability to bounce back and cultivate resilience. </li>
<li>Practice mindfulness and stress reduction techniques: One of the best ways to build resilience is to incorporate mindfulness practices and stress reduction techniques into your daily routine. Meditation, deep breathing, and yoga are just a few examples of these powerful practices that can help you manage stress and maintain mental balance. By cultivating mindfulness, you can develop a greater awareness of your thoughts and emotions, which can help you respond to challenges with greater clarity and calmness. </li>
<li>Set realistic goals and break them down into manageable steps: This approach allows you to make progress toward your objectives without becoming overwhelmed by the larger goal. When you break your goals into smaller, achievable steps, you can create a sense of momentum and progress that will help you stay motivated and focused. This is an essential aspect of building resilience, as it helps you to stay on track and maintain your confidence in the face of setbacks.</li>
</ol>
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-you-can-build-a-life-of-joy">You Can Build a Life of Joy</h2>
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="533" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/shutterstock_272544824-1.jpg" alt="A woman outside during sunset with her arms outstretched." class="wp-image-46710" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/shutterstock_272544824-1.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/shutterstock_272544824-1-300x200.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/shutterstock_272544824-1-768x512.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
Incorporating these practical tips and strategies into your life can truly transform your mindset and help you navigate life’s challenges with ease. Remember that building resilience is an ongoing process and takes consistent effort and commitment to see real results. But with patience and dedication, you can absolutely cultivate a mindset that allows you to thrive in the face of adversity.
By embracing the power of positive language, visualization techniques, self-compassion, and a growth mindset, you can activate your inner cheerleader, silence your inner critic, and develop an awesome sense of abundance and gratitude for the world around you.
So, start taking action today, and watch your resilience grow stronger every day toward a fulfilling life that’s full of joy and possibility.
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<title>How To Cope With Grief and Loss During the Holidays</title>
<link>https://marisapeer.com/how-to-cope-with-grief-and-loss-during-the-holidays/</link>
<comments>https://marisapeer.com/how-to-cope-with-grief-and-loss-during-the-holidays/#respond</comments>
<dc:creator><![CDATA[Marisa Peer]]></dc:creator>
<pubDate>Thu, 22 Dec 2022 09:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">https://marisapeer.com/?p=46634</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Coping with grief and loss during the holiday season can be an incredibly difficult challenge.  At a time when joy and celebration are expected, it can feel overwhelming to try to find meaningful ways of engaging in the festive spirit. If you’re looking for guidance on how to manage your emotions this holiday season, then […]]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[
Coping with grief and loss during the holiday season can be an incredibly difficult challenge. 
At a time when joy and celebration are expected, it can feel overwhelming to try to find meaningful ways of engaging in the festive spirit.
If you’re looking for guidance on how to manage your emotions this holiday season, then I’m here to help. I want to ensure that self-care is your number one priority so you can plan ahead and take care of yourself by doing what feels right for you. 
Together, let’s make this Christmas season a little easier. Take a deep breath, and let’s get started.
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-is-the-best-way-of-dealing-with-grief">What Is the Best Way of Dealing With Grief?</h2>
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="533" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/best-way-of-dealing-with-grief-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-46636" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/best-way-of-dealing-with-grief-1.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/best-way-of-dealing-with-grief-1-300x200.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/best-way-of-dealing-with-grief-1-768x512.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
Dealing with our emotions can be one of the most challenging aspects of grieving, especially during the holidays. 
Many years ago, people were much wiser when it came to their feelings—they wore black and went through a period of mourning as an acceptance of grief until those feelings no longer required deep attention.
It’s important to give ourselves this same permission to “feel” without trying to push away or suppress our emotions.
After all, your feelings are the most real thing you have—they are your greatest truth-teller. By being aware and articulate about your feelings, you will eventually become more comfortable in managing them until they’re no longer required to be felt.
For example, if you’re feeling tremendous sadness, then allow yourself to say so out loud. It’s important not to punish yourself or feel guilty for these emotions.
Give yourself the space and permission to mourn, and though it may take some time, eventually, you will start to feel more in control of your emotions. 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-happens-if-you-ignore-your-grief">What Happens if You Ignore Your Grief?</h2>
Sometimes we’re aware of our feelings, but we don’t accept them.
It’s natural for us to feel and express our emotions, yet when it comes to painful ones, we often try to push them away. We may think or say things like, “I shouldn’t feel this way” or “I don’t want to upset people by talking about my pain.”
But suppressing our feelings does not make them go away—in fact, it can have the opposite effect.
Trying to push our feelings down with <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/collections/weight-loss-hypnotherapy/products/hypnotic-weight-control?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-cope-with-grief-and-loss-during-the-holidays%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">food</a>, <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/stop-drinking?_pos=1&_sid=b51b4ec1f&_ss=r&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-cope-with-grief-and-loss-during-the-holidays%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">drink</a>, or distractions such as binge-watching Netflix won’t make that emotion go away. Instead, your feelings will likely regroup and come back stronger than ever.
While accepting your grief can be scary at first, I want you to know that, eventually, these negative emotions will become more manageable.
It’s essential to take care of yourself, especially during the festive season when it may feel like there is <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/collections/personal-development-hypnotherapy/products/overcome-depression?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-cope-with-grief-and-loss-during-the-holidays%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">pressure to be happy</a>. So give yourself permission for the time you need to process your emotions and reach out for support whenever you can.
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-are-the-five-stages-of-grief">What Are The Five Stages of Grief?</h2>
When dealing with grief and loss, it can be helpful to acknowledge the five stages of grief: 
<ol>
<li>Denial</li>
<li>Anger</li>
<li>Pain</li>
<li>Acceptance </li>
<li>Moving on</li>
</ol>
Remember that these stages may not come in any particular order and each stage needs time to process and heal.
<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-denial">Denial</h3>
Denial is a natural part of the grieving process. You may find yourself in disbelief that something has happened or at the magnitude of your loss. In these times, it’s essential to allow yourself permission to feel this denial without judgment.
<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-anger">Anger</h3>
Following denial, you may experience feelings of anger. This could range from mild annoyance right through to rage. You must recognize and acknowledge these feelings and <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/anger-management?_pos=1&_sid=4bab73988&_ss=r&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-cope-with-grief-and-loss-during-the-holidays%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">find healthy ways of managing your anger</a>. 
For example, try writing down your thoughts or engaging in an activity such as <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/meditation-bundle?_pos=1&_sid=e9a15bc93&_ss=r&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-cope-with-grief-and-loss-during-the-holidays%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">meditation</a>, running, or yoga that allows you to let out any frustrations.
Do not suppress these feelings; instead, give yourself permission to speak out loud and to feel.
<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-pain">Pain</h3>
Pain is often the most intense of emotions that you may experience following a loss. It can be helpful to take time away from others and allow yourself some moments of privacy to fully process your pain. Caring for yourself with self-compassion at this time is essential to provide comfort in an overwhelming situation. 
<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-acceptance">Acceptance</h3>
Acceptance does not mean forgetting the person or event but rather coming to terms with what has happened. This stage can bring with it some relief as well as sadness and will vary from person to person. 
Be gentle with yourself during this stage, allowing yourself permission to move forward when you are ready on your own timeline.
<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-moving-on">Moving On </h3>
Finally, moving on involves accepting your loss and finding ways to honor your pain whilst also appreciating the joys that life can bring. 
Grief does not have a predictable timeline, and you should be kind to yourself as you move through this process.
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-to-do-at-christmas-when-you-are-grieving">What To Do At Christmas When You Are Grieving </h2>
There’s no doubt that Christmas can be a particularly challenging time when you are grieving the loss of a loved one. 
It’s important to remember that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and to take things at your own pace.
You may want to spend some time alone or with supportive friends and family during the holidays—whatever works best for you. Setting boundaries and giving yourself permission to engage in Christmas activities or take a break from them is essential during this time.
Although others may encourage you to <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/collections/self-improvement/products/overcome-your-fear-of-social-gatherings?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-cope-with-grief-and-loss-during-the-holidays%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">attend social gatherings</a>, giving yourself some space away from others can help facilitate healing; there is no wrong or right way when it comes to grief, and dealing with it will look different for everyone.
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-harness-the-power-of-hypnosis-to-overcome-grief">Harness the Power of Hypnosis To Overcome Grief</h2>
If you are dealing with a loss, then try my <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/overcome-grief?_pos=1&_sid=8d27be313&_ss=r&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-cope-with-grief-and-loss-during-the-holidays%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Overcome Grief self-hypnosis audio</a> to harness the power of hypnosis to find acceptance and healing this festive season.
This 25-minute session guides your mind into a deeply relaxed state, where positive suggestions are embedded into your subconscious. 
With continued practice, this audio session can create new pathways in your subconscious mind to help reduce deep pain associated with grief and increase confidence and positivity when viewing your future outlook.
For maximum effect, listen to this audio for 21 days and continue as needed. By connecting with your inner power, hypnosis can be an extraordinary support for you during this difficult period. 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-final-thoughts">Final Thoughts</h2>
Please know you absolutely have the power to overcome grief and loss. 
By planning ahead, setting boundaries, and focusing on self-care, it is absolutely possible to find solace—even in the festive season. 
Take comfort in knowing that there are so many people here for you—your family, friends, support groups, and indeed <a href="https://applyrtt.com/rttprospectus?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-cope-with-grief-and-loss-during-the-holidays%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">professional help</a>. You can always find someone who will listen to you, and there is no need to feel alone.
If you’re looking for fast and powerful help, I highly recommend you <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/overcome-grief?_pos=1&_sid=8d27be313&_ss=r&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-cope-with-grief-and-loss-during-the-holidays%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">check out my Overcome Grief self-hypnosis audio</a>. Hypnosis can be a great support during this difficult period to accelerate your journey toward acceptance and moving on to enjoy the joys of life once again.
Remember—there is no right or wrong way to experience grief and loss; take the time to do whatever feels right for you and know that you are not alone.
Your life may not ever be the same, but you can still have a great life where you laugh, smile, and love again.
I hope these tips have been helpful in navigating the holiday season after a loss, and I wish you peace, strength, and love.
]]></content:encoded>
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<title>Family Estrangement at Christmas: How to Reconnect, Resolve, and Restore Relationships</title>
<link>https://marisapeer.com/family-estrangement-at-christmas-how-to-reconnect-resolve-and-restore-relationships/</link>
<comments>https://marisapeer.com/family-estrangement-at-christmas-how-to-reconnect-resolve-and-restore-relationships/#respond</comments>
<dc:creator><![CDATA[Marisa Peer]]></dc:creator>
<pubDate>Mon, 19 Dec 2022 09:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">https://marisapeer.com/?p=46629</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Family estrangement is a sad reality many people face, and its wounds can often be reopened and exasperated during the festive season. Whether you’re the one who’s been cut off from your family or the instigator—separation can be painful and confusing.  While the process of healing may be difficult, it is entirely possible. So if […]]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[
Family estrangement is a sad reality many people face, and its wounds can often be reopened and exasperated during the festive season.
Whether you’re the one who’s been cut off from your family or the instigator—separation can be painful and confusing. 
While the process of healing may be difficult, it is entirely possible. So if you want to reconnect with your family but are unsure if the feelings are mutual, this blog is for you!
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-is-it-normal-to-be-estranged-from-family">Is It Normal To Be Estranged From Family?</h2>
Although family estrangement can feel incredibly isolating, you certainly aren’t the only one struggling with this challenge.
It’s important to remember that estrangement is not unusual. According to a study by Harvard University, 1 in 5 adults in the US are estranged from a family member.
So whether you are dealing with the aftermath of unresolved issues or have decided that going your separate ways is the best option for everyone involved—recognizing that what you’re experiencing isn’t abnormal is reassuring.
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-why-do-family-members-become-estranged">Why Do Family Members Become Estranged?</h2>
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="464" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/how-do-family-members-become-estranged-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-46632" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/how-do-family-members-become-estranged-1.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/how-do-family-members-become-estranged-1-300x174.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/how-do-family-members-become-estranged-1-768x445.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
Feeling alienated or withdrawn from your family can happen for a variety of reasons. 
The most common causes of family estrangement are unresolved conflict, abuse (physical, emotional, or verbal), mental illness, and addiction. 
During the pandemic, unique situations arose that made estrangement even more difficult. 
Whether you had an argument that was never resolved or someone made hurtful comments over a Zoom call. Or maybe, like many families, you just drifted apart over time, and the pandemic was the straw that broke the camel’s back. 
Whatever the reason, estrangement is painful, and many families are going through similar situations this festive season. 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-are-the-effects-of-estrangement">What Are The Effects of Estrangement  </h2>
Estrangement can profoundly impact both the individual and the family as a whole. 
For the individual, estrangement can lead to feelings of isolation, <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/overcome-anxiety?_pos=1&_sid=cf907b277&_ss=r&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-family-estrangement-at-christmas-how-to-reconnect-resolve-and-restore-relationships%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">sadness and anxiety</a>. Sometimes, this can even escalate to <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/overcome-depression?_pos=1&_sid=283c8a8fc&_ss=r&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-family-estrangement-at-christmas-how-to-reconnect-resolve-and-restore-relationships%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">depression</a> and <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/freedom-from-drugs?_pos=6&_sid=1149efcdd&_ss=r&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-family-estrangement-at-christmas-how-to-reconnect-resolve-and-restore-relationships%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">substance abuse</a>.
Families can also find the effects of estrangement very difficult to deal with. 
Feelings of guilt and regret—on both sides—can lead to further divisions between family members. Communication becomes strained, and conversations may get tense. 
Often, members of estranged families don’t want to talk about the issue and may even actively avoid it. In some cases, family members can go years without speaking or having any contact at all. 
This can cause unrecognized stresses that may manifest in other areas of life, such as work and relationships.
However, it’s also important to recognize that estrangement from family can also be an opportunity for growth and healing. 
It opens up space for us to reflect on our choices, relationships, and patterns without being influenced by others’ opinions or beliefs. 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-do-you-fix-family-estrangement">How Do You Fix Family Estrangement?</h2>
Although it may be difficult to take the first step to reconnect with estranged family members, it’s certainly possible. Sometimes it simply requires the <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/confidence-self-esteem?_pos=1&_sid=3051a4200&_ss=r&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-family-estrangement-at-christmas-how-to-reconnect-resolve-and-restore-relationships%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">confidence</a> to make the first move!
You can reach out via text, email, social media, or even good old-fashioned mail. Sending a card or letter in the mail may no longer be the preferred form of communication, but it shows that you’re willing to put in the extra effort to build bridges. 
The most important part of reaching out is expressing your desire to reconcile and asking if they’re open to doing the same. 
Go into this conversation with no expectations, they may not be ready or willing to reconcile—and that’s okay. 
The main thing is that you’ve taken the first step by reaching out and having an open and honest conversation about what has happened and how you’re both feeling. 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-happens-if-estranged-family-doesn-t-want-to-reconnect">What Happens If Estranged Family Doesn’t Want to Reconnect?</h2>
If reconciliation isn’t possible or isn’t something your family is interested in pursuing, that’s okay too. The most important thing is that you’ve tried. 
At the end of the day, all you can do is control your own actions and feelings. You can’t force anyone else to do anything they don’t want to do or feel any certain way. 
Instead, focus on resolving your own wounds and spending time with people who make you feel good about yourself. 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-is-the-feeling-of-one-sided-love">What Is the Feeling of One-Sided Love?</h2>
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="424" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/one-sided-love.jpg.crdownload-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-46631" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/one-sided-love.jpg.crdownload-1.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/one-sided-love.jpg.crdownload-1-300x159.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/one-sided-love.jpg.crdownload-1-768x407.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
It’s important to recognize that a relationship with your family should not be one-sided. It should involve both giving and taking in order to be healthy and sustainable. 
To illustrate this point, take a moment to lay your hands on your chest and breathe out completely until you feel uncomfortable. You are currently giving but not getting anything back. 
Now, keep breathing in until you realize how difficult it is to just take and take without giving anything back. 
What we can learn from this is that when we give love, it’s equally as important to receive love too. When an imbalance occurs, it can cause us immense pain and suffering.
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-do-you-heal-from-estranged-family">How Do You Heal From Estranged Family? </h2>
It is in our very nature to crave connection and belonging. 
When we don’t feel accepted by our families, it can have a devastating effect on our self-worth and thoughts. 
We start to believe that we are not enough, that we don’t matter or fit in. This can create an incredibly limiting belief—that “I’m not good enough.” 
As a therapist, I found this was at the root of many issues—from <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/stop-drinking?_pos=1&_sid=a58307c8a&_ss=r&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-family-estrangement-at-christmas-how-to-reconnect-resolve-and-restore-relationships%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alcoholism</a> and <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/hypnotic-weight-control?_pos=1&_sid=f22a7feb4&_ss=r&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-family-estrangement-at-christmas-how-to-reconnect-resolve-and-restore-relationships%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">binge eating</a> to <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/overcome-depression?_pos=1&_sid=283c8a8fc&_ss=r&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-family-estrangement-at-christmas-how-to-reconnect-resolve-and-restore-relationships%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">depression</a>. That’s why I created the “I Am Enough” movement—to empower individuals such as yourself to recognize their worth, value, and potential.
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-do-i-get-over-family-estrangement">How Do I Get Over Family Estrangement? </h2>
To start your journey to a happier, healthier and more loving relationship with yourself and family members, check out my <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/i-am-enough-secrets-to-a-successful-life?_pos=3&_sid=918c5ee10&_ss=r&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-family-estrangement-at-christmas-how-to-reconnect-resolve-and-restore-relationships%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">I Am Enough: Secrets to a Successful Life</a> audio course.
Over seven days, it will equip you with the tools and techniques to identify your limiting beliefs, break through mental blocks, and gain newfound confidence in yourself and your own worth. 
This renewed belief in yourself will give you the strength to move past any challenging family dynamics and create a healthier relationship with your loved ones.
It will help you be more positive and productive, attract greater abundance into your life, and have healthier relationships with the people around you—and more importantly, with yourself. 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-i-m-here-for-you">I’m Here For You</h2>
No one deserves to feel alone or isolated during the festive season—especially not because of family estrangement. 
If you’re struggling with this, remember you have immense power to create a life full of joy and fulfillment—no matter what happened in the past.  
Before you can attempt to reconcile with anyone, it is vital that you first repair your relationship with yourself by developing the unshakable confidence and self-esteem you deserve.
So remember to check out my transformational <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/i-am-enough-secrets-to-a-successful-life?_pos=3&_sid=918c5ee10&_ss=r&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-family-estrangement-at-christmas-how-to-reconnect-resolve-and-restore-relationships%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">I Am Enough: Secrets to a Successful Life</a> audio course. You deserve to live a happy, fulfilling life free from pain and sorrow—I sincerely hope this helps get you there.
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<title>How To Use Self-Hypnosis To Achieve Your Life Goals</title>
<link>https://marisapeer.com/how-to-use-self-hypnosis-to-achieve-your-life-goals/</link>
<comments>https://marisapeer.com/how-to-use-self-hypnosis-to-achieve-your-life-goals/#respond</comments>
<dc:creator><![CDATA[Marisa Peer]]></dc:creator>
<pubDate>Wed, 14 Dec 2022 16:39:09 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Self-esteem]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">https://marisapeer.com/?p=46623</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Self-hypnosis—it may feel like unfamiliar territory, but you’ve actually been under hypnosis much more often than you may imagine… Every day we’re exposed to some form of hypnosis—whether we realize it or not. This is because our subconscious mind acts like a giant sponge, absorbing everything around it. From marketing and advertising to television and […]]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[
Self-hypnosis—it may feel like unfamiliar territory, but you’ve actually been under hypnosis much more often than you may imagine…
Every day we’re exposed to some form of hypnosis—whether we realize it or not. This is because our subconscious mind acts like a giant sponge, absorbing everything around it.
From marketing and advertising to television and movies—they are all constantly hypnotizing us. 
So why not turn your ability to be hypnotized into a chance to overcome your fears and achieve your greatest goals?  
Many people don’t practice self-hypnosis, but it’s so easy and so powerful—we should do it all time!
Today, I’m going to teach you how to hypnotize yourself in 10 minutes or less so you can help powerfully change your life—eradicate limiting beliefs and fears and increase your confidence, vitality, and abundance.
Let’s start! 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-is-hypnosis">What Is Hypnosis? </h2>
Hypnosis is actually a more common state of mind than you might think.
Generally speaking, hypnosis is a trance-like state characterized by intense suggestibility, heightened imagination and mental clarity.
The state of hypnosis is very similar to daydreaming, being lost in your thoughts, or totally absorbed in something you love.
Best of all, hypnosis can be used to help you achieve your goals—whether that’s to <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/hypnotic-weight-control?_pos=1&_sid=d5327d7a9&_ss=r&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-use-self-hypnosis-to-achieve-your-life-goals%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">lose weight</a>, <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/quit-smoking?_pos=1&_sid=1cf5c6ff0&_ss=r&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-use-self-hypnosis-to-achieve-your-life-goals%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">stop smoking</a>, or <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/confidence-bundle?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-use-self-hypnosis-to-achieve-your-life-goals%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">rebuild low self-esteem and confidence</a>!
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-is-hypnotherapy-safe">Is Hypnotherapy Safe?</h2>
Let’s cut to the chase—yes! 
Hypnotherapy is a very safe health and well-being intervention, and you are always in control. 
But there’s often lots of confusion around hypnosis. So let’s clear that up… 
A common misconception is that people believe once you go into a hypnotic state, you might not come out of it. Or another one is that you lose all control of yourself and your actions. 
This isn’t true at all. Hypnosis is not mind-control, and it doesn’t involve manipulating someone.
It’s a very gentle process that allows you to train your mind to focus on whatever you want to create.
Hypnosis provides improved clarity, focus, and concentration. It also empowers you to be in control of your mind rather than your mind controlling you. 
When you’re hypnotized by someone else, that person simply acts as a guide. This is helpful for those looking to become more comfortable with the process of hypnosis. 
Ultimately, the only one that can hypnotize you, is YOU.
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-does-hypnosis-work">How Does Hypnosis Work?</h2>
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="432" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/How-does-hypnosis-work.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-46626" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/How-does-hypnosis-work.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/How-does-hypnosis-work-300x162.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/How-does-hypnosis-work-768x415.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
Hypnosis utilizes your powerful subconscious mind to reach an altered state of consciousness with increased focus and awareness. 
It helps you to tune out most, if not all, of the stimuli around you. Tapping into the “alpha brainwave state,” which occurs when your brain waves slow down.
By bridging the gap between the conscious and subconscious mind, hypnosis helps bring you into a place of deep relaxation. That’s why hypnosis is so popular among those who wish to manage and decrease stress. 
Hypnosis allows new pathways in the brain to be formed, helping to create positive changes in our thoughts and behavior. 
As you relax into a hypnotic state, your mind becomes suggestible. Then, you can uncover the root cause of issues and rewrite the stories you tell yourself about certain past events.
The adaptive brain is malleable like plastic, and it is designed for learning. By practicing self-hypnosis, you’re using that plasticity to retrain your mind to let go of negative, limiting beliefs.
The more you train your mind to focus on the present and positive, the happier and more peaceful you will be.
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-can-self-hypnosis-change-your-life">Can Self-Hypnosis Change Your Life?</h2>
Hypnosis can absolutely help to transform your life—whether you are a professional hypnotherapist, a client, or simply practicing self-hypnosis at home. 
Self-hypnosis is particularly effective in helping you steer your mind in a more positive direction, so you can:
<ul>
<li>Make and embrace change faster</li>
<li>Break free from a scarcity mindset</li>
<li><a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/calmness-bundle?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-use-self-hypnosis-to-achieve-your-life-goals%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Manage stress better</a></li>
<li><a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/quit-smoking?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-use-self-hypnosis-to-achieve-your-life-goals%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Stop smoking</a></li>
<li><a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/hypnotic-weight-control?_pos=1&_sid=d5327d7a9&_ss=r&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-use-self-hypnosis-to-achieve-your-life-goals%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Lose weight</a></li>
<li>Overcome addictions</li>
<li><a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/healthy-lifestyle-bundle?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-use-self-hypnosis-to-achieve-your-life-goals%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Welcome vitality and well-being </a></li>
<li>Improve your life</li>
<li>Think more positively</li>
<li><a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/confidence-self-esteem?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-use-self-hypnosis-to-achieve-your-life-goals%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Supercharge self-confidence</a></li>
<li><a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/wealth-wiring-audio?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-use-self-hypnosis-to-achieve-your-life-goals%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Be more prosperous</a></li>
</ul>
As you can see, there are many benefits to hypnosis. It’s by far one of the easiest ways to help make extraordinary, lasting changes in your life.
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-self-hypnosis-how-to-get-into-a-hypnotic-state">Self-Hypnosis: How To Get Into a Hypnotic State</h2>
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="527" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/how-to-get-into-a-hypnotic-trance-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-46627" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/how-to-get-into-a-hypnotic-trance-1.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/how-to-get-into-a-hypnotic-trance-1-300x198.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/how-to-get-into-a-hypnotic-trance-1-768x506.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
In order to successfully practice self-hypnosis, you need to be comfortable. This means sitting back with your arms relaxed by your side or hands separated on your lap. 
Then you can use a powerful Rapid Eye Movement (R.E.M.) technique. This allows you to enter a hypnotic state much quicker than traditional approaches. 
To do this, simply roll your eyes up for a few moments. Imagine you’re trying to look into your own hairline. 
Then, while keeping your eyeballs up, just close your lids. 
When your eyelids are closed, you may notice your eyes start to flicker under your eyelids. You can actually touch your eyelids if you’re not sure, and you’ll feel a slight fluttering. 
This helps you to relax and enter a trance state similar to the R.E.M stage of sleep. R.E.M is characterized by vivid dreams associated with increased brain activity. 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-do-i-know-if-self-hypnosis-is-working">How Do I Know if Self-Hypnosis Is Working?</h2>
If you want to gain reassurance that you are successfully under hypnosis—then try this mind-hacking exercise… 
Once you’ve used the R.E.M. technique, take a moment to relax and push your shoulders down. Just imagine that you have a string attached to your right arm like a pulley. 
Now imagine that pulley is pulling your arm up and up and up.
As that string is pulled, your right arm is floating and moving and lifting and starting to travel higher. The minute you find it floating up, you can allow that to happen for as long as you like. 
This is confirmation that your mind is accepting suggestions.
Then imagine the pulley has been let go. You can drop your arm down, and then you know that you’re ready to start giving yourself suggestions.
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-to-get-into-hypnotic-trance">How To Get Into Hypnotic Trance</h2>
In order to truly enter a hypnotic trance and start giving yourself suggestions, you’re going to first begin to take your mind deeper, down a set of stairs…
When you’re doing self-hypnosis, it’s a good idea to have the same steps, like wooden steps
that go down to a beach, beautiful carpeted steps that take you into a lovely room,
or beautiful tiled stone steps inside a villa in Greece.
I love the wooden steps going down to the sand. It helps me to relax, as I tell myself that I can feel the waves at my feet and the sun on my face.
But you can simply visualize the steps in your house if you like. It really doesn’t matter, but it’s quite nice to have a set of steps that you really love.
<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-take-your-mind-down-10-steps">Take Your Mind Down 10 Steps</h3>
When you’re ready to descend your steps, simply drop your chin so you feel that “looking-down” sensation.
It doesn’t matter now at all where your eyeballs have gone. You no longer need to keep them strained upwards.
Mentally look down 10 steps, and as you count them, visualize your feet taking each step. 
It really helps to hear, feel, and to see your feet treading each step.
As you move onto step 10, feel each muscle and every nerve turn loose and get looser as you go deeper. Then begin to count down the steps, one by one, going deeper and deeper. 
As you go deeper, you’ll find every sound and noise around you is carrying you further into the most phenomenal, relaxing state of self-hypnosis.
By doing this, you allow yourself to develop a gentle, relaxing feeling that you are drifting and floating. 
Once you reach this deep stage of relaxation, you’re absolutely ready to give yourself powerful suggestions.
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-give-yourself-powerful-suggestions">Give Yourself Powerful Suggestions </h2>
This step, also called the “suggestion phase,” is all about stimulating the subconscious mind to uncover any unconscious blocks or limiting beliefs. 
You need to keep the suggestions very clear and simple—and always in the present tense, as your mind doesn’t work in the future. 
Now, what you say at this point obviously depends on what the issue is. Today, we’ll use confidence as an example. 
So tell yourself a story where you picture yourself feeling super confident. 
Begin to tell yourself positive statements, always focusing on the words…
“I am a beautifully confident person. My confidence flows from within.” 
“When I go for an interview, I’m confident.”
“When I go out socially, I’m confident.”
“When I pick up the phone and make calls in my job, I’m confident.”
Repetition is essential as this is how the mind learns and strengthens the neural pathways. 
So keep giving yourself exciting suggestions, using words that fire your imagination, and make an amazing picture for yourself.
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-to-reinforce-your-desired-state">How To Reinforce Your Desired State </h2>
When you’re doing self-hypnosis, you should clearly visualize the image of what you want.
Imagine yourself a few months down the road, having already made the changes you want to make and achieving everything you had set out to do.
Whether that be standing looking at yourself in the mirror being your perfect weight and size or getting the job promotion you wanted.
Envisioning your future state can really help you picture yourself succeeding—which helps lead your subconscious mind to your desired outcome.
Remember, one of the rules of the mind is that the way we feel about anything is down to two things; the pictures we make in our head and the words we say to ourselves. 
So when you make the pictures positive, when you make the words positive, it actually changes your whole life in the most extraordinary way. 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-ending-your-self-hypnosis-session">Ending Your Self-Hypnosis Session </h2>
When you’ve finished giving yourself powerful suggestions, you’re ready to bring yourself out of your relaxing self-hypnosis session. 
To do this, simply count from one to 10 before opening your eyes—some people like to come back up the stairs, and that’s good too.
So you can mentally go back up those 10 steps to the top. When you’re at the top of the steps, just open your eyes.
It’s very important to do this in your own time, in your own way.
You can do it as quickly or as slowly as you want to. 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-the-takeaway">The Takeaway</h2>
Self-hypnosis is so easy to learn. But the really great thing is, even if you do it incorrectly, it still works. And when you get it right, it works really powerfully! 
You can do it on a train while lying in bed at night or in a waiting room. Nobody knows you’re doing it, even if you’re standing up at a bus stop, it’s perfectly safe.
So start practicing self-hypnosis everywhere. Fill your mind with amazing, positive thoughts and witness your life begin to change for the better. 
If you want expert support in making your self-hypnosis journey as powerful and effective as possible, then I highly recommend my <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/hypnosis-audios-all-access-pass?variant=33098715398226&selling_plan=163922&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-use-self-hypnosis-to-achieve-your-life-goals%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">All Access Pass</a>.
The All Access Pass unlocks my extensive library of self-hypnosis audios and meditations to skyrocket your personal development. Whether you’re looking for phenomenal success in your career or a lasting, loving relationship…
My powerful self-hypnosis audios and meditations offer an easier way to reach your goals that will feel entirely natural and totally effortless. 
To discover the life-changing power of self-hypnosis for yourself, simply <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/hypnosis-audios-all-access-pass?variant=33098715398226&selling_plan=163922&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-use-self-hypnosis-to-achieve-your-life-goals%2F&utm_content=content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">click here to get your All Access Pass today.</a>
]]></content:encoded>
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<title>How To Overcome a Fear of Intimacy</title>
<link>https://marisapeer.com/how-to-overcome-a-fear-of-intimacy/</link>
<comments>https://marisapeer.com/how-to-overcome-a-fear-of-intimacy/#respond</comments>
<dc:creator><![CDATA[Marisa Peer]]></dc:creator>
<pubDate>Thu, 17 Nov 2022 11:50:26 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">https://marisapeer.com/?p=46584</guid>
<description><![CDATA[We all want someone to come home to, to have our back, and to love. But along with love comes intimacy—and that can stir up different emotions in everyone.  While intimacy is wonderful, many of us worry about becoming vulnerable. If you want to learn how to overcome a fear of intimacy so you can […]]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[
We all want someone to come home to, to have our back, and to love. But along with love comes intimacy—and that can stir up different emotions in everyone. 
While intimacy is wonderful, many of us worry about becoming vulnerable.
If you want to learn how to overcome a fear of intimacy so you can share and enjoy deep, meaningful connections with those you love most…
Just keep reading! 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-does-intimacy-mean">What Does Intimacy Mean?</h2>
When we talk about intimacy, we often believe it is sexual—but that’s not always the case.
Being intimate doesn’t just mean having a sexual relationship with someone, it also refers to a level of closeness that helps us to feel validated and safe. 
In fact, “intimacy” is synonymous with the phrase, “Into me you see.” Perfectly encapsulating the true meaning of intimacy. 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-are-the-four-types-of-intimacy">What Are the Four Types of Intimacy? </h2>
Now we know that intimacy holds a much broader meaning, we can look at its four types. 
These are:
<ol><li>Emotional</li><li>Physical</li><li>Mental</li><li>Spiritual</li></ol>
It makes sense that the first person you ever had an intimate relationship with was a parent. 
If the people who loved you (or were supposed to love you) hurt or abused you—emotionally, physically, mentally, or even sexually—it leaves you with a very confusing and warped idea about what love and intimacy are.
When this happens, you don’t stop loving the person you were supposed to bond and connect with as a baby or child. 
Instead, we often stop loving ourselves—blaming ourselves for their unloving and unhealthy behavior, and consequently developing a deep fear of intimacy. 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-do-we-choose-partners-like-our-parents">Do We Choose Partners Like Our Parents? </h2>
<figure class="wp-block-gallery has-nested-images columns-default is-cropped wp-block-gallery-2 is-layout-flex wp-block-gallery-is-layout-flex">
<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="533" data-id="46589" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/choose-partners-like-our-parens-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-46589" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/choose-partners-like-our-parens-1.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/choose-partners-like-our-parens-1-300x200.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/choose-partners-like-our-parens-1-768x512.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
</figure>
The mind has a need to return to what is familiar and runs away from what is unfamiliar.
So take a minute now and think about your parents…
What did you take from them that formed your belief about relationships?
If your parents were cold and distant, then your mind is likely to attract partners who have also been cold and distant too.
“My <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/coping-with-narcissistic-fathers?_pos=1&_sid=371e5ce70&_ss=r&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-overcome-a-fear-of-intimacy" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">dad cheated on my mom</a>, and he never gave her any money, and that’s so weird, because I seem to like guys that cheat and never get their wallet out.”
This is because we learn from our life experiences, then we attempt to recreate what we learned—all in the hopes of trying to change the outcomes.
We often believe we can change a cold person and transform them into a warm and caring soul.
Or convert a selfish person into someone who wants to give us everything they have.
But here’s something you need to know…
Life is way too short to change the ending—you need to change the beginning.
So what do I mean by that?
You can change the beginning by not entering new relationships with partners that resemble what you find familiar—if that’s already proven to result in an unhealthy, unsuccessful, and unhappy relationship.
Run away from the familiar and run towards what is unfamiliar instead.
You need to make what is unfamiliar, familiar. 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-questions-you-need-to-ask-yourself">Questions You Need To Ask Yourself </h2>
So if you want to overcome a fear of intimacy, ask yourself these questions: 
What did I learn about love growing up?
Where did I learn about love?
How bonded was I to my mother?
How bonded was I to my father?
What did they show me in actions and words that were destructive, damaging, or limiting? 
Why do I believe that their relationship is the template I am forced to follow?
Answering these questions thoughtfully will help you realize that just because you learned what love and intimacy looked like from your parents, it doesn’t have to be how they look in your own life.
Love should not be earned, run after, bought, or worked for—it should be just there.
So remember this pattern, and stop trying to change your partner in the hopes of correcting the path your parents took because life is too short.
Instead, change the beginning (where your fear actually started), and you can overcome all your fears and limiting beliefs about intimacy.
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-why-is-self-love-so-powerful">Why Is Self Love So Powerful?</h2>
<figure class="wp-block-gallery has-nested-images columns-default is-cropped wp-block-gallery-3 is-layout-flex wp-block-gallery-is-layout-flex">
<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="533" data-id="46588" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Self-love-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-46588" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Self-love-1.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Self-love-1-300x200.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Self-love-1-768x512.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
</figure>
When you do find someone who is wonderful, caring, and loving—you can think they’re going to make you feel amazing. 
“I’ve found this perfect person and they’re going to make me feel so good about myself.”
But if you give someone the power to make you feel good—to complete you—then you also give them the power to take that away at any time they like. 
This can make us feel incredibly vulnerable because this person could take love away from us, whether it is intentional or not. 
It can make us feel as though we would be nothing without them, and if they left us, it would be the end of the world. 
So you have to <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/confidence-self-esteem?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-overcome-a-fear-of-intimacy" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">love yourself, believe in yourself</a>, love your relationship and know that if it ended you’d be terribly sad, but you would be able to continue.
Because the only person who can complete you, is YOU.
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-to-accept-your-partner-s-flaws">How To Accept Your Partner’s Flaws</h2>
Learning to love ourselves can be difficult sometimes. Especially if you’ve grown up with parents who didn’t show you the love you deserved. 
But the truth is, the best you can be is a real flawed person, having a flawed relationship with another real flawed person.
I call it “being flawesome.”
I want you to understand that I’m flawed, my husband is flawed, our kids are flawed, and our relatives are flawed. Knowing this makes it so much easier to love them and accept them—because we all have flaws.
In fact, it would be an awful thing to have a partner who is perfect because it would make you feel totally inadequate. 
This is why people don’t like perfect, glossy, shiny, and amazing people. Although we often try to present a perfect image of ourselves to others, we actually choose people who share our vulnerabilities because they allow us to bond and connect with one another. 
Those who are determined to appear perfect are very often alone and unhappy because they’re pretending to be something that doesn’t exist—nobody can be perfect.
So forget about trying to be perfect, and just be yourself. 
Let the person who loves you love the real authentic you. Let them see your flaws, just as you also see their flaws. 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-do-i-stop-comparing-past-relationships">How Do I Stop Comparing Past Relationships?</h2>
<figure class="wp-block-gallery has-nested-images columns-default is-cropped wp-block-gallery-4 is-layout-flex wp-block-gallery-is-layout-flex">
<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="600" height="400" data-id="46587" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/comparing-1-2.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-46587" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/comparing-1-2.jpg 600w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/comparing-1-2-300x200.jpg 300w" sizes="(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px" /></figure>
</figure>
Your parents may not have been the greatest, and they may have done you a disservice—but they were victims of their childhood too.
If you recognize this, then you free yourself from having to follow the same pattern. 
You have the power to choose to no longer carry this around with you anymore. 
Don’t hurt yourself and others by rejecting love and intimacy. You have remarkable resilience, and to be happy, you have to forgive and forget the past. 
So be grateful for the present, be excited about the future, and love yourself so powerfully and unconditionally that you attract and accept the same from others.   
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-overcome-your-fear-of-intimacy-for-good">Overcome Your Fear of Intimacy for Good</h2>
Many of us are anxious about the thought of being vulnerable, and indeed love can put us in a vulnerable position.
But remember the expression, “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
You can have deep, intimate love, a fantastic sex life, great friendships, and it can have nothing to do with how you started in life. 
It doesn’t matter what or where you came from—it’s where you’re going that counts.
You can certainly go to love, stay in love, and enjoy the joys of intimacy in all forms. Because love is available to you—it really is all around you. 
But if you could do with some help in overcoming your fear of intimacy and achieving deep connections through loving relationships, then I want you to <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/lovability?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-how-to-overcome-a-fear-of-intimacy" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">check out my best-selling Lovability self-hypnosis audio course. </a>
This self-hypnosis audio course helps to powerfully reprogram your mind, so you can feel like the lovable person you really are. When you feel lovable inside, the shift is transformative and the world falls in love with you too. 
People start to experience results within the first 21 days, so make sure you listen every day to benefit from its maximum effect. 
I highly recommend it—fall in love with yourself, become intimate with who you are, and find out how easy it is to do it with others too. 
]]></content:encoded>
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<title>What’s the Difference Between NLP and Hypnotherapy (and Which Is Right for You?)</title>
<link>https://marisapeer.com/whats-the-difference-between-nlp-and-hypnotherapy-and-which-is-right-for-you/</link>
<comments>https://marisapeer.com/whats-the-difference-between-nlp-and-hypnotherapy-and-which-is-right-for-you/#respond</comments>
<dc:creator><![CDATA[Marisa Peer]]></dc:creator>
<pubDate>Thu, 10 Nov 2022 11:29:02 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Self Improvement]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">https://marisapeer.com/?p=46563</guid>
<description><![CDATA[NLP or hypnotherapy—what’s the difference? What do they do? Most importantly, which is right for you? Often, people mistakenly believe NLP and hypnotherapy are the same—but there’s actually a big difference between the two.  Today, I want to walk you through those differences and what they mean for your own personal transformation—and perhaps even your […]]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[
NLP or hypnotherapy—what’s the difference? What do they do?
Most importantly, which is right for you?
Often, people mistakenly believe NLP and hypnotherapy are the same—but there’s actually a big difference between the two. 
Today, I want to walk you through those differences and what they mean for your own personal transformation—and perhaps even your career. 
Let’s get started! 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-is-nlp">What is NLP?</h2>
Neuro-Linguistic Programming, also known as NLP, is a therapy that helps us change the way we think and feel so we can achieve our goals.
This includes changing the way you talk and observing your behavior patterns.
For example, if you went to a therapist for NLP and said, “I always fail. I’m such a disappointment.” They would likely ask, “Always? Do you really always fail? Let’s look at that belief.”
NLP uncovers and reprograms such limiting beliefs to bring about a behavior change. 
It works by identifying the thought patterns and behavior of successful people, and applying them to the client’s circumstances.
In doing so, it has proven to be an effective method for phobias, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, money blocks, and PTSD.
So NLP is indeed a wonderful tool for bringing about positive change… but what if you could amplify, intensify, and dramatically speed up the results?
Well, that’s where hypnotherapy comes in…
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-is-hypnotherapy">What is Hypnotherapy?</h2>
Hypnotherapy is a safe and effective therapeutic treatment that uses subliminal messages to alter behavior patterns.
Now, hypnotherapy is actually different to NLP because it says, “Let’s go back and find out where this came from and get rid of it.” 
Imagine you had a <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/overcome-your-fear-of-confined-spaces?_ga=2.11306172.926570851.1667692311-472834814.1628088891&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-whats-the-difference-between-nlp-and-hypnotherapy-and-which-is-right-for-you%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">fear of confined spaces.</a> 
In NLP, you would be guided to stop believing you have that fear. But in hypnotherapy, you go right back to where it all began. 
A good hypnotherapist would explain that you weren’t born with a fear of tiny spaces. 
They would show you that you were once in the womb, then a crib, a car seat, and a high chair—and you couldn’t get out of any of these places. Yet we know babies are very, very happy being contained. 
Actually, being contained makes babies feel incredibly secure. 
So then you’d ask yourself an interesting question…
“If that used to make me feel secure, then why do I have a fear of confined spaces now?”
This is a really powerful question to ask yourself. 
Hypnotherapists say that because you weren’t born with that fear—it must have come from somewhere, so they take you back to find out.
When I hypnotize my clients (by the way, that simply means reaching a deeper state of focus), I take them back to uncover what I call “what lies beneath.” 
During the process, we often discover things like they were locked in a shed as a child. Or perhaps their big brother played a cruel joke on them and shut them in a dark cellar or closet. 
We discover where and why they developed this fear. 
Once we know why, hypnotherapy allows us to also remove that unhelpful, outdated, limited belief.
It’s truly a game changer for the client. 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-do-i-imprint-my-subconscious-mind">How Do I Imprint My Subconscious Mind?</h2>
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="479" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/How-Do-I-Imprint-My-Subconscious-Mind_.jpg" alt="How Do I Imprint My Subconscious Mind" class="wp-image-46569" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/How-Do-I-Imprint-My-Subconscious-Mind_.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/How-Do-I-Imprint-My-Subconscious-Mind_-300x180.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/How-Do-I-Imprint-My-Subconscious-Mind_-768x460.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
An “imprint” is formed with every thought you think and every word you say. It becomes an absolute statement to the mind. 
So if that’s a negative thought about something happening, it sends an instruction to your mind that you never want that to happen again. 
Our minds think, “Right, I must do anything and everything to make that not happen!” 
For example, a scared child where something happened to them, causing them to form a fixed negative, limiting belief. Just like being shut in a closet and becoming claustrophobic. 
You see, the mind is very literal. If you fear something, it does everything to take you away from that fear. Your mind is always drawn to what makes you feel safe and repels anything that is unfamiliar or has been told could harm you in any way. 
So with NLP, you would look at the fear, talk about it, and then use NLP to try to change your thoughts and beliefs around that fear, which is wonderful—but this does have its limitations…
If your mind believes that fear is protecting you from being hurt and suffering, then your mind doesn’t want you to get rid of the fear. 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-the-importance-of-understanding-your-why">The Importance of Understanding Your Why</h2>
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="543" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/The-Importance-of-Understanding-Your-Why.jpg" alt="The Importance of Understanding Your Why" class="wp-image-46567" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/The-Importance-of-Understanding-Your-Why.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/The-Importance-of-Understanding-Your-Why-300x204.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/The-Importance-of-Understanding-Your-Why-768x521.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
Taking away a behavior without understanding its purpose will set you up for failure. 
When people say, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me…”
“I have no idea why I sabotage myself, why I can’t keep <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/lovability?_ga=2.213650972.926570851.1667692311-472834814.1628088891&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-whats-the-difference-between-nlp-and-hypnotherapy-and-which-is-right-for-you%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">love</a>, or why <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/wealth-wiring-audio?_ga=2.208905370.926570851.1667692311-472834814.1628088891&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-whats-the-difference-between-nlp-and-hypnotherapy-and-which-is-right-for-you%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">money</a> slips through my fingers.”
NLP would say, “Let’s talk about that belief and reprogram it for positive behavior change.”
But hypnotherapy goes that extra mile. 
Hypnotherapy says, “Let’s get rid of the belief. Let’s go in and find the belief and remove it forever so it never ever comes back.”
Then you not only know why you had that fear and acted in that way, but you also now have the unshakable conviction that you will never do that again.
And that’s the difference. 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-hypnotherapy-and-nlp-can-be-used-for-powerful-results">How Hypnotherapy and NLP Can Be Used for Powerful Results</h2>
Now we know NLP works on symptoms, but hypnotherapy can be used to help patients with both their symptoms and what is causing them—and we can use Rapid Transformational Therapy® (RTT®) to supercharge this. 
RTT® is what I call “hypnotherapy on steroids” and is quickly becoming recognized as one of the most effective therapies available.
It not only utilizes the most effective principles of NLP and hypnotherapy…but also CBT, psychotherapy, and neuroscience to deliver life-changing results—in as few as one to three sessions.
RTT® harnesses the power of the subconscious mind to create even more remarkable, rapid, and profound results and goes much deeper than NLP.
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-become-your-own-detective-doctor-and-coder">Become Your Own Detective, Doctor, and Coder </h2>
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="543" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Become-Your-Own-Detective-Doctor-and-Coder.jpg" alt="Become Your Own Detective, Doctor, and Coder" class="wp-image-46568" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Become-Your-Own-Detective-Doctor-and-Coder.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Become-Your-Own-Detective-Doctor-and-Coder-300x204.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Become-Your-Own-Detective-Doctor-and-Coder-768x521.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
RTT® is rather like being a detective, a dentist and a coder all at the same time. 
A detective looks at pictures and asks, “How did that cause that?”
And that’s exactly what RTT® does—it finds out why—and fast. 
Why did you do, think and feel that?
Then you move from being a detective to a dentist…
You extract all the toxic beliefs and all the poisonous imprints that are hurting you. 
Then, when you’ve extracted them, you become a phenomenal coder… 
You begin to code into your mind (or indeed your clients’ minds) the most incredible belief system. 
We do this through the power of neuroplasticity—creating new neural pathways in the mind while simultaneously removing the old unhelpful ones.
It also has a powerful transformative element that uses command therapy to activate the body’s ability to restore vitality and achieve optimal wellness. 
So it’s really quite extraordinary.
Suddenly you deeply understand why you were scared, and now you’re not scared any longer.
You’re free, empowered, and confident to live the life you deserve.  
With RTT® you also receive a phenomenal, personal recording to listen to that wires in, fires in and codes in those words—and it’s absolutely life-changing. 
<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-can-rtt-help-with">What can RTT® help with?</h3>
RTT® has a proven track record in helping to provide lasting freedom from a range of issues with phenomenal success, including:
<ul><li>Fears and phobias</li><li>Anxiety and depression</li><li>Stress</li><li>Panic attacks</li><li>Migraines</li><li>Weight problems</li><li>Addictions</li><li>Low confidence</li><li>Insomnia</li><li>Money blocks</li><li>Love blocks</li><li>Tinnitus</li><li>Infertility</li><li>Skin conditions</li></ul>
As a tool, RTT® can also help:
<ul><li>Manage pain</li><li>Improve performance at work or in sport</li></ul>
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-final-thoughts">Final Thoughts </h2>
So now you know the difference between NLP and hypnotherapy—but also RTT®, my multi-award winning method. 
I’m so glad you’ve read this today because I think RTT® is the best therapy ever—and if you had it, you’d probably think so too.
If you’d like to learn more about the power of RTT® and how you could harness its profound techniques to create your own life-changing transformations—and then go on to do the same for others too…I’d love for you to <a href="https://applyrtt.com/rttprospectus/?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-whats-the-difference-between-nlp-and-hypnotherapy-and-which-is-right-for-you%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">download our RTT® Career Guide.</a> 
Demand for RTT® therapists is growing at an unprecedented rate.
So discover why over 15,000 others have already invested in my award-winning method that delivers unparalleled results. And in as little as six months, you could gain world-class qualifications for a rewarding, flexible career on your terms too. 
]]></content:encoded>
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<title>Friendship: The Secrets of Connection and How to Find It</title>
<link>https://marisapeer.com/friendship-the-secrets-of-connection-and-how-to-find-it/</link>
<comments>https://marisapeer.com/friendship-the-secrets-of-connection-and-how-to-find-it/#respond</comments>
<dc:creator><![CDATA[Marisa Peer]]></dc:creator>
<pubDate>Mon, 17 Oct 2022 16:10:00 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Self Improvement]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">https://marisapeer.com/?p=46515</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Friendship—it can be an emotional and ever-changing journey for many of us.  Some are lucky enough to meet special people they love, trust, and share mutual support throughout life’s ups and downs.  For others, friendship can be a more complicated matter.  Whether you’ve fallen out with your best friend or simply drifted apart from others […]]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[
Friendship—it can be an emotional and ever-changing journey for many of us. 
Some are lucky enough to meet special people they love, trust, and share mutual support throughout life’s ups and downs. 
For others, friendship can be a more complicated matter. 
Whether you’ve fallen out with your best friend or simply drifted apart from others as you move into different phases of your lives… 
Today, we’ll explore the truth about loneliness, friendships, and the secrets to connecting with others so you can find and enjoy the meaningful love and companionship you deserve. 
Keep reading to discover: 
<ul><li>Where loneliness comes from </li><li>How to overcome past hurt caused by the breakdown of friendships</li><li>Why all humans have the desire to create bonds </li><li>An example of how our primitive wiring still influences are actions today  </li><li>The need to find connection and avoid rejection </li><li>The importance of finding common ground </li><li>How you can start to powerfully attract love and friendship into your life </li></ul>

Let’s get started! 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-where-does-loneliness-come-from">Where does loneliness come from?</h2>
Loneliness often comes from a failure to bond. 
One of my clients once said to me, “I hate saying goodbye, every time I made a friend we’d move a year later. Until I decided I don’t want to make friends—it’s too painful when they leave.”
Many of us actually create loneliness because we’ve experienced rejection in the past. It takes such a painful hit to our <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/confidence-self-esteem?_ga=2.104942467.1003928040.1668418019-472834814.1628088891&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-friendship-the-secrets-of-connection-and-how-to-find-it" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">self-esteem and confidence</a> that we decide we’re better off alone. 
For example, when you move a child mid-term and they go to a new school where they have no friends, they feel like a loner, they feel like a loser. Sometimes that is so painful they decide to remain alone and don’t bother trying to make new friends.
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="534" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Where-does-loneliness-come-from_.jpg" alt="Where does loneliness come from?" class="wp-image-46525" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Where-does-loneliness-come-from_.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Where-does-loneliness-come-from_-300x200.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Where-does-loneliness-come-from_-768x513.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
So let’s look at how we can let go of hurt that came from losing friends or feeling rejected in the past…
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-to-overcome-past-hurt-and-open-your-heart-to-friendship">How To Overcome Past Hurt and Open Your Heart To Friendship</h2>
If you once had a best friend with whom you shared everything and had a big falling out, you may think you could never trust someone with your secrets again.  
We’re brainwashed to believe, “Oh, I was friends with this person and they really hurt me. I could never go through that pain again. I couldn’t do it, I’d rather be alone.”
Or…
“I like my own company. I prefer being by myself, I don’t want to have to look after someone else.”
None of this is true. But you know what happens? Your mind listens—and it cannot distinguish between truth and false beliefs.
I want you to understand that your subconscious mind is always switched on. It is always on record. 
So it becomes very clear (in your own mind at least) that you don’t want to open yourself to new people. You don’t want to make friends. You’d rather spend the rest of your life lonely because that’s easy, and it protects you from the pain of rejection. 
But the truth is that nobody ripped out your heart, jumped all over it, or nearly made you lose your mind. 
You may have met someone who betrayed you, hurt you, and lied to you, but they did you a favor—you don’t want to spend your life being friends with someone like that.
If you fall out with your friends, you can <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/overcome-your-fear-of-social-gatherings?_pos=3&_sid=86a3498f3&_ss=r&_ga=2.104942467.1003928040.1668418019-472834814.1628088891&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-friendship-the-secrets-of-connection-and-how-to-find-it" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">go to events, parties, and socials</a> and make new ones—better ones. Everything in you that made those people want to be friends with you before still exists today—they didn’t pack it in a bag and take it with them—it’s still in you.
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="318" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/overcome-past-hurt-1.jpg" alt="overcome past hurt" class="wp-image-46527" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/overcome-past-hurt-1.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/overcome-past-hurt-1-300x119.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/overcome-past-hurt-1-768x305.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
So don’t isolate yourself, don’t choose to live a solitary life, and don’t remove yourself from accepting the love of others. 
Love is all around you. You don’t have to be alone. 
You can share your lives with others, make amazing friends, and even better memories. And we all need this—in fact, our desire to create bonds is so deeply wired into us, it is traced back to primitive times…
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-why-do-we-need-to-create-bonds">Why Do We Need To Create Bonds?</h2>
Take your imagination back to primitive times when a man and woman raised children together. The man would go off to hunt wildebeest and zebras, and the woman would stay home to protect and care for their children. 
Now, the woman knew that it was very likely, due to the danger of the open, wild land, that her partner may not return home again. 
If this was to happen, she knew there was no way she could strap her babies to her back and go hunting to provide for her family all by herself. This left the woman aware that they were in an extremely vulnerable position. 
Therefore, women knew their chances of survival depended on forming relationships with other women in the tribe. So they chatted, gossiped—and bonded. 
Once they shared a bond, they would also naturally begin to share their food or look after each other’s babies while they went gathering.   
This made women in primitive times feel much safer, and is a primal need that is still present today…
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-we-all-have-primitive-wiring-here-s-an-example">We All Have Primitive Wiring—Here’s an Example</h2>
Our primal need to form groups remains deeply wired into us.
For example, a woman would never get up and walk into the bushes to the bathroom alone. That was so dangerous. You could be attacked by someone from another tribe or a wild animal. There could be a snake in the grass. So women always went to the bathroom in groups; they had each other’s backs.
To this day, when women are in a club or restaurant, we often say, “Hey, I’m going to the bathroom.” And our friend goes, “I’ll come with you.” 
But if we are in our own homes, we never offer to go to the bathroom with our friends. That’s because if we’re in a restaurant or party, we stay in groups to look out for each other.
It’s that primitive wiring to go to the bathroom in groups because we’re safe. 
And so, we forget that so much of our wiring comes from primitive times. We think we’re incredibly evolved and modern. We are. But we have a lot of primitive wiring, and understanding this is central to our most powerful need…
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-why-we-need-to-find-connection-and-avoid-rejection">Why We Need to Find Connection and Avoid Rejection</h2>
The most powerful need on the planet is to avoid rejection and find connection.
From the minute we’re born, we naturally know, “If I connect to the people raising me and they don’t reject me, I’m going to live.”
That’s how we make it.
And so we all have a natural desire to keep friends and make new connections when others drift away. 
Because your mind’s number one job is not to keep you happy—it’s to keep you safe. 
Of course, anything that connects you to others keeps you safe. Anything that rejects you makes you feel unsafe. That’s why we don’t like rejection, but we love connection—because in our primitive minds, we feel safe, and that’s what we crave.  
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-the-importance-of-finding-common-ground-to-form-friendships">The Importance of Finding Common Ground to Form Friendships</h2>
You know, you may be embarrassed to share your love of reality TV, but shows such as Love Island or Married at First Sight are actually really great because they allow you to find connection and avoid rejection. 
You bond with others by asking exciting them questions, “Hey, guess what happened last night!” and “Why do you think they did that?” 
Sure, it’s gossiping, but that’s how women have bonded for hundreds of years. So even things that seem silly and frivolous can actually help us find connection and avoid rejection, making us feel safe. 
If you love trashy TV, you’ll likely meet many others who do too. 
Be open and honest about your interests—be authentic, and people will love that. 
And you can think, “Oh, I’m actually really watching this because I’m talking about it to my friends, and in doing that, I’m finding connection and I’m avoiding rejection.”
Whenever you find common ground to connect on, it’s never bad. It’s good. So enjoy it and understand you’re doing it to feel safe.
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="419" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/The-Importance-of-Finding-Common-Ground-to-Form-Friendships.jpg" alt="The Importance of Finding Common Ground to Form Friendships" class="wp-image-46528" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/The-Importance-of-Finding-Common-Ground-to-Form-Friendships.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/The-Importance-of-Finding-Common-Ground-to-Form-Friendships-300x157.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/The-Importance-of-Finding-Common-Ground-to-Form-Friendships-768x402.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-final-thoughts">Final Thoughts</h2>
If you want to attract great relationships—if you want to have amazing friends, friends at work, friends that complete you…
Please check out my <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/lovability?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-friendship-the-secrets-of-connection-and-how-to-find-it" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Lovability hypnosis audio course</a>. It could change everything—it will help you to attract love and love will also be attracted to you. 
Remember—what you want, wants you. 
If you want love, friendship, companionship, and connection with others—grow and nurture your Lovability. It really does complete you; it makes everything better. 
I adore love, making connections, and enjoying the company of others, and now, you can too. 
]]></content:encoded>
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<title>You Can Rewire Your Brain Using Its Mysterious Superpower (Science Has Proven It)</title>
<link>https://marisapeer.com/you-can-rewire-your-brain-using-its-mysterious-superpower-science-has-proven-it/</link>
<comments>https://marisapeer.com/you-can-rewire-your-brain-using-its-mysterious-superpower-science-has-proven-it/#respond</comments>
<dc:creator><![CDATA[Marisa Peer]]></dc:creator>
<pubDate>Wed, 21 Sep 2022 13:20:12 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Self Improvement]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">https://marisapeer.com/?p=46437</guid>
<description><![CDATA[You know, we all have negative thoughts from time to time. Thoughts like, “I am not smart enough,” “I am not good enough,” or “I can’t do this” are incredibly common, and they can hold us back from reaching our full potential and living the life we dream of. But there is a proven and […]]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[
You know, we all have negative thoughts from time to time.
Thoughts like, “I am not smart enough,” “I am not good enough,” or “I can’t do this” are incredibly common, and they can hold us back from reaching our full potential and living the life we dream of.
But there is a proven and effective way to break free.
In this article, I will be referencing an interview on my YouTube channel with <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUgkwEgSzDc&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-you-can-rewire-your-brain-using-its-mysterious-superpower-science-has-proven-it%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Dr. Caroline Leaf</a>. 
Dr. Leaf is an eminent international leader in the field of Neuroscience (that’s the study of the brain and its impact on behavior and our thinking, reasoning, and remembering), and she shares some fascinating truths with us. So, if you want to learn about your brain’s mysterious superpower and the science that shows how hypnotherapy can rewire it—then keep reading…
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-s-the-difference-between-the-brain-and-the-mind">What’s the Difference Between the Brain and the Mind?</h2>
To understand the science behind hypnotherapy, we must first understand the difference between the brain and the mind.
Put simply, the mind is the intangible seat of our consciousness and is responsible for all of our thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
On the other hand, the brain is the physical organ that houses the mind.
While the mind and brain are two separate entities, they are intimately interconnected. When we have a thought, it generates electrical impulses in the brain, impacting our behavior and physiology.
Understanding this relationship is important because it is the key to understanding how we can change our thoughts to rewire our brains.
Now that we’ve established the difference between the mind and the brain let’s uncover the mysterious superpower that most people don’t even know they have.
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-the-1-big-mistake-most-people-make-about-themselves">The #1 Big Mistake Most People Make About Themselves</h2>
If you are like most people, you probably think, “I am who I am,” and “These are just the cards I’ve been dealt.”
You might also say things like:
“Depression runs in my family.”
“It’s genetic.”
“A leopard can’t change its spots.”
But I want you to know that those are false beliefs, so don’t make the mistake of thinking this way.
You see, the fact is that the opposite is true—your brain is not fixed or unchangeable, but also…
You Can Literally Rewire and Rebuild the Brain.
Just take a second to think about the enormity of that fact.
You can rewire your brain! It’s malleable—your thoughts shape your brain, and you have the power to think whatever you want. 
When you understand that, then everything changes.
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="450" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/The-1-Big-Mistake-Most-People-Make-About-Themselves.jpg" alt="The #1 Big Mistake Most People Make About Themselves" class="wp-image-46531" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/The-1-Big-Mistake-Most-People-Make-About-Themselves.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/The-1-Big-Mistake-Most-People-Make-About-Themselves-300x169.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/The-1-Big-Mistake-Most-People-Make-About-Themselves-768x432.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-your-neuroplasticity-superpower">Your Neuroplasticity Superpower</h2>
Now, the reason you can grow your brain is because of a thing called<a href="http://neuroplasticity/"> </a><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroplasticity?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-you-can-rewire-your-brain-using-its-mysterious-superpower-science-has-proven-it%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">neuroplasticity.</a>
Neuroplasticity is your brain’s amazing ability to change its structure and function in response to your environment, thoughts, and emotions. This plasticity allows you to learn new things, form new memories, and make new connections. It also helps you recover from injuries and illnesses.
I want you to know that emotionally, you are born as a fresh canvas. So if you’re having depressing, negative thoughts or limiting beliefs, that’s not how you are born—it’s who you’ve become, and neuroplasticity has made that change possible.
If you’ve changed your brain’s natural state and developed negative habits and ways of thinking over time, you can use your brain’s neuroplasticity to change it once again and move from negative to positive frames of mind.
This is entirely possible because your brain is a very, very hungry organ. So it wants to be constantly stimulated, and we have this amazing ability to grow new thoughts and make new connections.
For example, if you learn a new skill, neuroplasticity will help create new neural pathways in the brain to support that skill. Likewise, if you have a traumatic experience, neuroplasticity can help you create new pathways that make it easier to cope with that experience.
By acting intentionally and organizing your thoughts, you can get the mind working to direct or affect your brain’s neuroplasticity. 
All you have to do is change the story you tell yourself—we all have the power to do that, and that’s where hypnosis comes in.
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-does-hypnosis-work">How Does Hypnosis Work?</h2>
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWGp39LLNhE&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-you-can-rewire-your-brain-using-its-mysterious-superpower-science-has-proven-it%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Hypnosis works by putting a person into a state of deep relaxation</a> and giving them verbal suggestions that help them change their thoughts or behavior.
The changes that occur during hypnosis are possible because when you’re in a relaxed state, your mind is much more open to those suggestions.
You see, during hypnosis, your brainwave activity changes, and you enter into a state of deep relaxation (but you are not asleep). In this state, your blood pressure and heart rate decrease, and you’re more able to focus on the input and direction that you’re given.
While under hypnosis, you’re still aware of what’s happening around you, and you can still move and speak. But, you may feel like you’re in a slightly trance-like state or that your mind is very focused.
This allows the therapist to make the right suggestions to help you change and update your thoughts, behaviors, or emotions in a positive way. 
Over time, with repeated exposure to these new suggestions, your thinking and behavior will change permanently as you take advantage of your brain’s natural superpower—neuroplasticity.
Hypnosis uses that superpower to help people change how their mind works, so they can overcome huge obstacles, achieve their goals, and live more fulfilled lives.
And because our conscious and unconscious minds both have neuroplasticity, hypnosis can be used to change conscious and unconscious behaviors.
For example, suppose you’re constantly putting yourself down or doubting your ability to succeed. In that case, hypnosis can help you break these destructive thinking patterns and replace them with more positive, empowering beliefs.
This can lead to improved self-confidence, greater motivation, and better overall mental and emotional health.
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="534" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/How-Does-Hypnosis-Work_.jpg" alt="How Does Hypnosis Work?" class="wp-image-46532" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/How-Does-Hypnosis-Work_.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/How-Does-Hypnosis-Work_-300x200.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/How-Does-Hypnosis-Work_-768x513.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-can-hypnosis-help-with">What Can Hypnosis Help With?</h3>
Hypnosis is a very effective tool and can be used to help; overcome phobias, <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/collections/health/products/quit-smoking?_ga=2.176892581.1003928040.1668418019-472834814.1628088891&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-you-can-rewire-your-brain-using-its-mysterious-superpower-science-has-proven-it%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">quit smoking</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/dietlesslife?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-you-can-rewire-your-brain-using-its-mysterious-superpower-science-has-proven-it%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">lose weight</a>, <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/healing-vortex?_pos=3&_sid=5fa30497c&_ss=r&_ga=2.176892581.1003928040.1668418019-472834814.1628088891&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-you-can-rewire-your-brain-using-its-mysterious-superpower-science-has-proven-it%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">manage pain</a>, improve your performance in sports, <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/collections/self-improvement/products/confidence-self-esteem?_ga=2.176892581.1003928040.1668418019-472834814.1628088891&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-you-can-rewire-your-brain-using-its-mysterious-superpower-science-has-proven-it%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">increase your confidence</a>, <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/overcome-anxiety?_pos=1&_sid=81c27b33f&_ss=r&_ga=2.176892581.1003928040.1668418019-472834814.1628088891&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-you-can-rewire-your-brain-using-its-mysterious-superpower-science-has-proven-it%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">reduce anxiety</a>, or <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/improve-memory-and-concentration?_ga=2.176892581.1003928040.1668418019-472834814.1628088891&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-you-can-rewire-your-brain-using-its-mysterious-superpower-science-has-proven-it%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">improve cognitive skills like memory and focus.</a>
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-is-beyond-hypnosis">What is “beyond Hypnosis?”</h2>
For over three decades, I’ve developed my own pioneering form of therapy based on neuroscience that combines the most effective parts of Hypnotherapy, Psychotherapy, NLP, and CBT. 
Together with my own powerful tools and techniques, they form Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT).
Think of RTT as “beyond Hypnosis.”
The RTT school has trained over 15,000 graduates in my multi-award-winning method and continues to be unique within the field of therapy—giving people the fast and, most importantly, lasting breakthroughs they so desire.
When you train in RTT, you’ll learn how to reframe core beliefs, values, habits, and emotions deep in the subconscious. 
Then you’ll be able to replace outdated belief systems and negative behavior patterns and form new life-affirming beliefs so the transformational process can start.
If you are interested in learning how you could train in RTT to overcome your own personal challenges, explore your full potential, transition into a financially rewarding career as a therapist, and lead a happier, more fulfilling life, then <a href="https://applyrtt.com/rttprospectus?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-you-can-rewire-your-brain-using-its-mysterious-superpower-science-has-proven-it%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">download our Career Guide here.</a>
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<title>Stonewalling: What To Do If It’s Causing Your Relationship Problems</title>
<link>https://marisapeer.com/stonewalling-what-to-do-if-its-causing-your-relationship-problems/</link>
<comments>https://marisapeer.com/stonewalling-what-to-do-if-its-causing-your-relationship-problems/#respond</comments>
<dc:creator><![CDATA[Marisa Peer]]></dc:creator>
<pubDate>Fri, 12 Aug 2022 16:51:58 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">https://marisapeer.com/?p=46405</guid>
<description><![CDATA[When the going gets tough, we all have our own ways of dealing with it.  For some, this means running away from their problems or freezing up and putting up a wall between themselves and the issue at hand. So today, we’ll be discussing stonewalling—a troublesome communication behavior that can seriously impact your relationship’s health. […]]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[
When the going gets tough, we all have our own ways of dealing with it. 
For some, this means running away from their problems or freezing up and putting up a wall between themselves and the issue at hand.
So today, we’ll be discussing stonewalling—a troublesome communication behavior that can seriously impact your relationship’s health.
You’ll discover what exactly stonewalling is, why people do it, and the powerful steps you can take to stop yourself or your partner from exhibiting stonewalling behavior in the future—for a happier, healthier, more loving relationship.
To achieve this, we’ll cover:
<ol><li>What stonewalling is and why people do it </li><li>Four common communication mistakes in relationships    </li><li>How to set up an open dialogue with your partner</li><li>The importance of being honest about your feelings</li><li>Why you should always ask what your partner wants </li><li>The real reason why you’re not telling your partner what you want</li><li>My rule for finding and keeping a loving relationship</li></ol>

Let’s get started!
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-is-stonewalling">What is Stonewalling?</h2>
Imagine you’re speaking to a wall. Well, it doesn’t speak back to you—and that’s essentially what stonewalling is. 
Your partner takes the role of the stone wall, shutting you out from all and any communication. During this time, it seems impossible to get through to them.
Reading this may make you realize that you may be guilty of stonewalling your partner yourself. Either way, it’s best to be able to recognize the behavior so you can quickly reach better resolutions in the future. 
Some examples of stonewalling would be giving your partner the silent treatment, avoiding conflict and abruptly walking away, being vague or evasive in your responses, and withholding affection or intimacy.
Of course, these are just a few examples of stonewalling, and some are more extreme than others.
But you’ll often find one of the most subtle yet damaging demonstrations of stonewalling is simply saying, “I’m fine,” (and nothing else) when your partner questions your feelings. 
There are many reasons why people do this—so just know that you and your partner are not alone in dealing with this communication problem…
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-why-do-people-stonewall">Why Do People Stonewall?</h2>
Some people stonewall because they’re afraid of conflict. They may have had negative experiences in the past where arguments turned into shouting matches or led to physical violence. 
As a result, they’ve learned to shut down emotionally to avoid conflict.
Others stonewall as a way to protect themselves from criticism. If they feel like they’re always being judged or put down, they may start withdrawing from conversations to avoid rejection. 
Overall, stonewalling helps to keep others from getting too close—whether that’s due to fear of conflict, criticism, or a fear of intimacy. 
The “stonewaller” creates distance in the relationship and avoids having to open up and share their thoughts and feelings with someone else.
It’s also important to recognize that stonewalling can be a sign of emotional abuse in some cases. For example, some partners use it to control the conversation, manipulate the other person, or avoid difficult topics.
Now you know why people stonewall, you’re going to want to keep reading as I’m about to tell you exactly how you and your partner can make it a thing of the past to succeed in a loving and caring relationship that lasts. 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-4-communication-mistakes-people-make-in-relationships">4 Communication Mistakes People Make in Relationships </h2>
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="553" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Communication-Mistakes-People-Make-in-Relationships.jpg" alt="Communication Mistakes People Make in Relationships" class="wp-image-46534" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Communication-Mistakes-People-Make-in-Relationships.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Communication-Mistakes-People-Make-in-Relationships-300x207.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Communication-Mistakes-People-Make-in-Relationships-768x531.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
Read on to discover the four <a href="https://youtu.be/FrQ2yEPVKKY?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-stonewalling-what-to-do-if-its-causing-your-relationship-problems%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">common mistakes that people make in relationships</a>…
Not only will recognizing these likely help you have fewer arguments in your relationship—but they could also help you stop stonewalling in its tracks for more productive and understanding communication. 
Here they are…
<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-mistake-1-i-like-what-you-like">Mistake #1: I like what you like</h3>
It often all starts with this one mistake…
“I like what you like.” 
Wrong. 
Please don’t make this mistake early in a relationship.
Many women, in particular, think, “I better not say what I want. I don’t want to be seen as difficult or demanding.”
So what happens? You think the best course of action is to pretend you’re so easily pleased at the start of a relationship. 
You try to appear chilled, easy-going, and fun-loving with your partner—after all, we want our relationships to be successful…this often is mistakenly seen as the way to achieving that. 
We’re all guilty of doing this at some point in our lives. But if you recognize this in yourself, please don’t do it again. 
Don’t put your partner’s happiness before your own—because when you do that, I promise that neither of you will end up happy. 
<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-mistake-2-expecting-your-partner-to-know-what-s-wrong">Mistake #2: Expecting your partner to know what’s wrong</h3>
People often stonewall because they want to display their infuriation with their partner that they should know better. And the best—or worst—way to do this is to block them out altogether. 
This means, sometimes, we unfairly expect our partner to be psychic—and that’s just not realistic. Only we know what we’re truly feeling, thinking, and what we need. 
Yet too often, I see dialogue go like this: 
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“You seem a bit upset.”
“No, I’m fine.”
Everything in your body language is saying, “I’m upset,” but you expect your partner to know why when you haven’t even told them.
If you’re in a heterosexual relationship, it’s even more confusing. This is because men expect their female partner to act like a male, and women often expect the male to act like a female.
As an example, one of my clients came to me and said, “I can never make my wife happy. I come in at the end of the day, and she starts to tell me what’s happened.” 
Their daughter forgot her lunchbox, and her boss increased her workload at the last minute…
And his response was, “Oh, well, this is what I would’ve done…you need to have her lunch box by the front door. You need to explain to your boss what you already have on.”
And she said, “I don’t want that.”
“Why does he try to fix it when I just want him to hear?” 
My advice to him was that he’s got to become her best girlfriend. That he’s got to say things like, “Oh, I hate that for you.”
This was such a surprise to him. 
But I explained to him, “She is looking to know that you have heard her. So when she gives the list of what went wrong in her day, don’t offer solutions, become her best girlfriend say, ‘Baby, I hate that for you. That’s horrible.'”
And he said, “Wow, I never knew that.”
He came back to me and couldn’t believe how things had changed. He said, “Becoming like a girlfriend to my wife is amazing.”
You may be reading this thinking, “Well, I’m never going to do that.”
But for him, it really worked—and it may work for you and your partner too. 
<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-mistake-3-thinking-you-and-your-partner-want-the-same-things">Mistake #3: Thinking you and your partner want the same things</h3>
I had a situation many years ago where my father was ill.
He’d had surgery, and he nearly died under anesthetics, but they had to do the surgery again. There was a big chance he wouldn’t survive, and I had to call him to say my final goodbyes— just in case. 
Of course, I was super emotional, and it was really hard to effectively say goodbye to him. 
To my dismay, when I picked up the phone to make that difficult call, my partner at the time left to play golf. 
I remember thinking, “Wow, he is not my partner anymore.”
“I’m feeling vulnerable, sad, and emotional, and his response is to go and play golf.”
“What a cold, mean, horrible, nasty person.”
When he eventually came back, I called him out on it and asked, “How could you do that?”
His response was that he thought I’d appreciate being left alone. Because if it was him making that call to his dad, he explained he would be tearful and wouldn’t want anyone around to see that.
So in his mind, he left as an act of consideration and empathy. 
See what went on there?
He did what a man would do. But of course, I wanted to do what a girl would do.
So that’s a big disconnect in many heterosexual relationships. 
We think our partner doesn’t care when really they’re often doing what they think you want them to do—what they would like you to do for them. 
<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-mistake-4-being-too-quick-to-move-on-when-problems-arise">Mistake 4: Being too quick to move on when problems arise </h3>
Too often, I hear people say:
“They’re just not the right person.”
“They don’t meet my needs.”
“They don’t understand me and what I want.”
Nowadays, we get rid of people much too easily. 
We swipe left and get someone new—someone we believe will be an upgrade. Change our number or block our partner; just like that, it’s so easy to start all over again. 
But all of my clients that do that say, “You know what happened? I got a new partner, and the same problems happened with a new one.”
“They were just as bad as the last one. Just as unthinking, uncaring, and insensitive.”
So we really have to take a look at the pattern here. 
When we don’t get what we want, we can often assume it’s because our partner doesn’t care—but that’s not the case. Instead, they just don’t understand because you haven’t explained your wants and needs to them yet. 
The truth is, for most of us, it’s much easier to make an existing relationship better and make it work than to find a new one and take all the same problems with you.
With that being said, let’s move swiftly on to what exactly you should if you want to keep your relationship thriving…
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-to-easily-set-up-an-open-dialogue">How to Easily Set Up an Open Dialogue</h2>
The way to bridge the gap between this communication disconnect and successfully overcome stonewalling is to constantly explain what we want through an open dialogue. 
If you think, “My partner’s forgetting, it’s my birthday. They’re not mentioning it—it’s because they don’t care.”
Rather than ignoring them and waiting for them to mess up, take a deep breath and change the outcome.
Tell yourself, “Hey, you know what? They love me. They want to celebrate my birthday. So I’m going to remind them it’s coming up.” 
Then you can communicate your expectations, needs, and desires with your partner.
Tell them, “Hey, it’s my birthday next Thursday. I know you want to do something amazing. So let me give you some ideas of what I want.”
Just like that, you’ll have stopped yourself from sitting it out and waiting for hurt, anger, and disappointment to arrive. Plus, your partner will be so grateful that they have been given a second chance to make sure you have a great day. 
We’ve all been guilty of this, but from this point on, make the decision to tell your partner what you want and what you need.
It’s so much easier to just communicate your thoughts with your partner, and I promise it will drastically improve your relationship and help you to lead a much happier and fulfilled life. 
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="532" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/How-to-Easily-Set-Up-an-Open-Dialogue.jpg" alt="How to Easily Set Up an Open Dialogue" class="wp-image-46536" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/How-to-Easily-Set-Up-an-Open-Dialogue.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/How-to-Easily-Set-Up-an-Open-Dialogue-300x200.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/How-to-Easily-Set-Up-an-Open-Dialogue-768x511.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-stop-stonewalling-by-being-honest-about-your-feelings">Stop Stonewalling By Being Honest About Your Feelings</h2>
On those occasions when someone does disappoint you, tell them. Be honest and explain that you were upset and explain what hurt you about the situation. 
The trick to doing this successfully is to not be confrontational. 
Don’t say things like, “You made me feel unimportant. You forgot. You’re always late to pick me up, I know you don’t care about me.” 
Instead, you can get the same message across in a much more productive manner. For example, “I know you care about me and if you could just pick me up on time, I would feel even more cared for.”
I said to my husband one day, “Baby, you know when we’re downstairs, occasionally you go, ‘I’m going to bed,’ and you just get up and leave. Well, I have to lock all the doors and windows, and I don’t feel protected.”
Then I explained to him, “I want you to always lock up so I feel you’re concerned about my safety.”
And he loved that.
Now, every night he checks all the doors, and he feels good about himself—and I feel protected. 
All because I communicated my feelings to him, and I did it in a polite and thoughtful manner. It’s not important to him but now he understands it’s very important to me.
I could have said to my husband, “When you go bed and don’t even lock the door, you don’t care about me.”
But instead, I communicated with him that I know he loves me, and he could show me how much he cared about my safety by doing this one thing for me—and he does.
So here are some ways to start your new and improved dialogue: 
“I know you care about me, so…”
“I know you want to make this work, so…”
“I know you’re invested in both of us being happy, so…”
Tell your partner what you need—share them. Share your wants and desires. 
Remember, your partner is not psychic; they’re clairvoyant. Therefore, you need to be open and honest with your feelings, wants, and desires so they can be understood and met. 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-ask-what-your-partner-wants">Ask What Your Partner Wants</h2>
Success in avoiding stonewalling and achieving great communication in your relationship isn’t all about telling your partner what you want. You also need to ask them what they want. 
If they don’t openly tell you, then asking your partner is the only way to know what they want and need. 
Just like when it’s your friend or sibling’s birthday, and you have no idea what to get them, you ask them. 
You say, “Hey, what do you want for your birthday?”
You give them what they want—it doesn’t make the day worse; it makes it better because they got exactly what they wanted, and you didn’t waste your time or money on something they didn’t. 
For example, if I asked my husband what he wants for his birthday, his response would likely be a book—he loves them. So, a little book that costs $5 will thrill him.
However, if he bought me just a book on my birthday, it would not be a happy day. It wouldn’t thrill me at all because we’re different.
And there’s nothing wrong with that. We’re two separate people who have two different sets of desires. So you see, it’s all about understanding each other’s needs. 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-the-real-reason-why-you-don-t-tell-your-partner-what-you-want">The Real Reason Why You Don’t Tell Your Partner What You Want </h2>
The most common reason why we aren’t clear about what we want in a relationship is a fear of rejection—our greatest fear of all. 
“I don’t want to tell you what I really want or need in case you reject me.”
The issue with this is that you can’t show someone who you are and can’t have the relationship you want if you’re not truly being yourself. 
When you do this, you actually end up rejecting yourself. 
You must realize that no one can reject you without your consent. And if someone rejects you just because you are sharing your needs, they’re not the right person for you. 
I want you to know that the right person will never reject you.
In fact, the right person for you will go out of their way to understand your needs because <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/confidence-self-esteem?_ga=2.262848076.1133005434.1669202762-472834814.1628088891&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-stonewalling-what-to-do-if-its-causing-your-relationship-problems%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">you’ve got the confidence to express them</a> so nicely and eloquently.
And your partner, of course, is worthy of expressing their needs and having them understood and met too.
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-my-rule-for-finding-and-keeping-a-loving-relationship">My Rule For Finding and Keeping a Loving Relationship</h2>
By now, I hope my rule for finding and keeping a loving relationship is clear—it’s all about working out your needs and feeling comfortable sharing them with your partner.
So don’t dismiss your partner when they don’t understand you. Instead, take the time to explain to them what you’re feeling, what you want, and what you need. 
Be honest.
Of course, this requires a level of vulnerability, but you can’t be afraid of that. Remember—people like people who show their vulnerability because it makes them endearing, relatable, and authentic. 
As much as you may <a href="https://youtu.be/qKwKiwWh18A?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-stonewalling-what-to-do-if-its-causing-your-relationship-problems%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">try to be perfect</a>, not only is that an impossible goal to set yourself, but you’ll find the closer you get, the harder people will find it to relate to you. 
People don’t connect to those who appear perfect. We like people who share our values, and we dislike people who appear perfect and who never express their needs.
So, in relationships, vulnerability is great.
If you want to explore more about how to attract and maintain a loving relationship, check out my <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/attract-your-perfect-relationship?_pos=1&_sid=3d09e3cb3&_ss=r&_ga=2.88257243.1133005434.1669202762-472834814.1628088891&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-stonewalling-what-to-do-if-its-causing-your-relationship-problems%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Attract Your Relationship</a> hypnotic audio course.
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="15000" height="7850" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Finding-common-ground.jpg" alt="Finding common ground and search for opinion compromise tiny person concept" class="wp-image-46519"/><figcaption>Finding common ground and search for opinion compromise tiny person concept. Cooperation and united partnership with thoughts match vector illustration. Therapy success with communication and trust.</figcaption></figure>
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-final-thoughts-on-successfully-overcoming-stonewalling">Final Thoughts on Successfully Overcoming Stonewalling</h2>
Stonewalling is a frustrating communication issue in many relationships. If it’s affecting yours, then start taking the steps we’ve addressed today to start making positive progress in your relationship. 
Tell one another what your needs are, what your desires are. 
Open up your dialogue, express your needs, and let them know all of your desires and ask them theirs. If you do this, then guess what? They both get met. 
Doing this will not only help you overcome and avoid stonewalling, but it could also help drastically improve your relationship and reignite the love and connection between you and your partner. 
If either of you needs extra support, check out my <a href="https://youtu.be/womndv6m_NU?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-stonewalling-what-to-do-if-its-causing-your-relationship-problems%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Healthy Relationships Mini-Course</a>, so you can move towards a joyful, happy, loving, wonderful relationship together that lasts the test of time.
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<title>Dating Over 50: How to Successfully Find Love (And Keep It) Later in Life</title>
<link>https://marisapeer.com/dating-over-50-how-to-successfully-find-love-and-keep-it-later-in-life/</link>
<comments>https://marisapeer.com/dating-over-50-how-to-successfully-find-love-and-keep-it-later-in-life/#respond</comments>
<dc:creator><![CDATA[Marisa Peer]]></dc:creator>
<pubDate>Fri, 05 Aug 2022 16:45:49 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">https://marisapeer.com/?p=46383</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Dating over 50 can be daunting and, at times, overwhelming.  But with a little preparation and knowledge, dating can be an exciting and rewarding experience.  Today, I’m sharing my advice on how you can get back out there, increase your chances of success, and start enjoying the dating scene again—so you can find love and […]]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[
Dating over 50 can be daunting and, at times, overwhelming. 
But with a little preparation and knowledge, dating can be an exciting and rewarding experience. 
Today, I’m sharing my advice on how you can get back out there, increase your chances of success, and start enjoying the dating scene again—so you can find love and keep it forever. 
To accomplish this, we’ll cover:
<ul><li>The truth about dating later in life</li><li>Whether you’re ready for love </li><li>How to find the right person for you </li><li>Why not being perfect is perfect</li><li>The secret to online dating success </li><li>My first date advice </li><li>The most important part of making a date successful</li></ul>

Let’s get started! 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-the-truth-about-dating-over-50">The Truth About Dating Over 50</h2>
Your mind is wired to return to what you know and avoid what you don’t.
So it’s no wonder that you can feel out of your depth when it comes to dating over 50—especially after a long marriage or hiatus.
We can find ourselves thinking:
“I haven’t done that for so long.”
“I’ve fallen out of the saddle.”
“I’m out of practice.”
“I don’t know how to do it anymore.”
But you’re no less lovable than you were in your twenties. This is because you’ve grown so much; you know exactly who you are and what you want—you have so much more to offer.
How exciting that you get to relive this part of your life? You get to go out and meet new people and potential partners who have so much life experience and know exactly what they want—just like you.
So you may feel like you’ve forgotten how to date. It may feel strange to you and like all this happened a lifetime ago. But it’s simply unfamiliar to you. 
Before we dive into how to make dating over 50 more familiar, there’s one question you must ask yourself first… 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-are-you-ready-for-love">Are You Ready for Love?</h2>
The biggest mistake anyone makes in attempting to find love is doing so before they love themselves. 
It’s so important to understand and recognize that you’re not looking for your other half—because you’re not a half. You don’t need another person to complete you.
When you have the perspective, “I’m only half a person, I need my person to complete me. Where are they? I’m not fulfilled without them.”
That’s not working in your favor. 
Rather, you must come at it from, “I am worthy, I’m whole, I’m amazing, I’m going to find someone equally amazing.”
“We’re going to have an amazing life together.”
So please don’t believe you’re incomplete until you find the person you love—you have to believe you are complete now.
To attract the love you want, the number one thing you need to have, above everything, is a belief that you are worth it.
The only thing you need for love is, “I’m worth it.”
“I’m worthy of love because I’m lovable.”
“I’ve got something to offer.”
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="520" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/Are-You-Ready-for-Love_.jpg" alt="Are You Ready for Love?" class="wp-image-46540" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/Are-You-Ready-for-Love_.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/Are-You-Ready-for-Love_-300x195.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/Are-You-Ready-for-Love_-768x499.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
If you need help with learning to love yourself, then <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/lovability?_pos=2&_sid=212da710f&_ss=r&_ga=2.21741307.1133005434.1669202762-472834814.1628088891&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-dating-over-50-how-to-successfully-find-love-and-keep-it-later-in-life%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">check out my highly-effective Lovability self-hypnosis audio course.</a> This course is designed to help you instill the inner belief that you are lovable by reprogramming your mind with conviction so strong that other people may sense it too.
Because before you love anyone, you need to love yourself. Once you do, the next step will be so much easier…
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-finding-the-right-person-for-you">Finding the Right Person for You</h2>
When we’re younger, in our teens, twenties, or even thirties, we often look for all the wrong things in a partner. We are out for adventure and excitement—someone who’s incredibly good-looking and perhaps even a bit of a rule-breaker. 
We go on a wild adventure with this person that’s thrilling and exciting but often ends in heartbreak. 
As you reach your later years and start dating over 50 and beyond, you realize this isn’t what’s important in life at all. Perhaps you’ve even been through a divorce with someone just like I just described.
So my advice is to not pick someone 20 to 25 years younger than you. Instead, pick someone with whom you have shared interests, who makes you laugh, and who will support you throughout life’s challenges. 
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="534" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/Finding-the-Right-Person-for-You.jpg" alt="Finding the Right Person for You" class="wp-image-46541" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/Finding-the-Right-Person-for-You.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/Finding-the-Right-Person-for-You-300x200.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/Finding-the-Right-Person-for-You-768x513.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
My husband ticks all of these boxes. He may not look like Brad Pitt, but he’s screamingly funny, and I love that. 
When we argue, he’ll get into character and say something that makes it impossible for me to stay angry with him. And he never stays angry because I’m kind of playful and silly.
If you only ever look for the perfect partner, you will never find them…  
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-why-not-being-perfect-is-perfect">Why Not Being Perfect Is Perfect</h2>
Perfect people simply don’t exist, and wasting your valuable time trying to find them will only ever leave you dissatisfied, sad, and disappointed. 
Delaying pursuing a relationship with someone because they’re not what you consider perfect will only ever guarantee yourself one thing—<a href="https://youtu.be/hnTF19JBgew?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-dating-over-50-how-to-successfully-find-love-and-keep-it-later-in-life%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">loneliness</a>. 
Just as you can’t expect others to be perfect, you can’t expect yourself to be either.
In fact, this may surprise you, but the amount of movie stars, rockstars, and supermodels I’ve met who are lonely is extraordinary because people find them too perfect—they’re intimidated.
So you don’t have to live up to an expectation of being perfect because, actually, we don’t even like people who appear perfect. They make us feel inadequate and second-rate. We like real people who are like us, after all. 
The sexiest thing about a person is their confidence and sense of who they are. 
Therefore, accept that you are flawed, and other flawed people surround you. Your flaws are what make you real, genuine, and authentic—that’s a wonderful thing. 
Once you realize this, you can go out there and find someone, equally as imperfect as you, who loves you for you, and who you love because they’re them. Then, together, you can build a beautiful, flawed relationship, loving and supporting each other. 
Take my wonderful husband and me, for example. I’m flawed, my lovely husband is flawed, and we have a beautiful, flawed relationship. I don’t have to be perfect for him, and he doesn’t have to be perfect for me. 
We don’t have a perfect relationship—it’s too much to live up to.
And guess what? This relationship will be miles better than anything you’d have with someone you consider perfect. Because now you don’t have to worry about how big your clothes are, your height, the number on the scales, or the number in your bank account. 
All these things don’t matter. 
What matters is being a real person and finding real love—when you do this, you’ll have found the right person for you who equally knows you are right for them. 
Do this, and you can absolutely <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/i-am-enough-module-attracting-and-maintaining-a-loving-relationship?_pos=1&_sid=212da710f&_ss=r&_ga=2.21741307.1133005434.1669202762-472834814.1628088891&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-dating-over-50-how-to-successfully-find-love-and-keep-it-later-in-life%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">find and maintain real love that will last forever.</a> 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-the-secret-to-online-dating-over-50-success">The Secret to Online Dating Over 50 Success</h2>
Of course, it’s all well and good knowing what you’re looking for in a person—but you also need to put yourself out there to find them, too.
Online dating is a great way to meet new people far and wide, and there are so many sites and apps you can use to find those of a similar age as you, with the same likes and dislikes.
But when talking to someone online, it’s so easy to try to become who you think they want you to be. You post a picture on a site that’s perhaps five or 10 years out of date, text them back, and suddenly it’s like you almost become this fantasy person.
When speaking on an app or phone, you can hide your flaws and who you really are. But this isn’t a good thing—when you give someone a filtered version of yourself, and they like it, you inevitably start worrying that they will be disappointed with the real you. 
“I’ve told you for a whole year that I’m this smart, sharp, sassy, confident person. And I’m really not.”
“I spent a whole year faking it, and now I can’t hide that.”
But as we’ve already discussed, we’re all flawed—I’m flawed, you’re flawed, and the person you meet will be too. 
You’re going to meet somebody real, and they’re going to meet somebody real.
So being open to showing your true self when dating, whether online or in person, is so important. You’ll find the people who like you actually like your flaws—they make you real, genuine, and authentic.
While it may feel like new territory, make yourself familiar with showing potential partners the real you rather than a filtered version. When you do this, the next step will be far less intimidating because you’ll already be confident that they like you for you… 
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-going-on-a-first-date-here-s-my-advice">Going on a First Date? Here’s My Advice</h2>
For the first meeting, you don’t want to make a big thing out of it. It will heighten the pressure of the situation and may make you feel more uncomfortable and unnatural in what can already be an unfamiliar circumstance.
Instead, go for a coffee or go out for lunch. It’s enough time to get to know someone better without committing to more than an hour of your day.
If that doesn’t tickle your fancy, there are many other things you can do. For example, go to a gallery or theater and do something interesting together. When you’re busy doing an activity, you forget to try to show someone a polished, perfect version of yourself. After all, dating over 50 should be fun! 
When you can find something you both have in common, it makes life so much easier. Do something that will make you laugh, giggle, or forget, and just be yourself.
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-the-most-important-part-of-making-any-date-successful">The Most Important Part of Making Any Date Successful</h2>
No, it’s not the conversation you will have with your date…
The most important part of making any date successful is the dialogue you have with yourself.
Think of the words you say <a href="https://youtu.be/hrvrnall96c?utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-dating-over-50-how-to-successfully-find-love-and-keep-it-later-in-life%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">when you have a date coming up</a>. Is it something closer to option A or B? 
A. “This is going to be awful. It’s going to be so difficult, I haven’t done this in so long.”
B. “Wow, this is going to be easy. I already feel like I know this person so well.”
You always have a choice. 
Choosing to tell yourself words that are positive and encouraging will transcend into your thoughts, beliefs, and actions and will have a huge impact on the way the date progresses.
Since you make your beliefs, and then your beliefs turn right around and make you, you might as well make great beliefs. 
So tell yourself positive and encouraging things like…
“Wow, at last, I’m going on a date. It’s going to be great fun and perhaps could lead to something even more amazing.”
If you believe that to be true, it will very likely become absolutely true because it’s not terrifying or stressful to go on a date—it’s exciting and wonderful. 
<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="534" src="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/The-Most-Important-Part-of-Making-Any-Date-Successful.jpg" alt="The Most Important Part of Making Any Date Successful" class="wp-image-46542" srcset="https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/The-Most-Important-Part-of-Making-Any-Date-Successful.jpg 800w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/The-Most-Important-Part-of-Making-Any-Date-Successful-300x200.jpg 300w, https://marisapeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/The-Most-Important-Part-of-Making-Any-Date-Successful-768x513.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /></figure>
<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-final-thoughts-on-dating-over-50">Final Thoughts on Dating Over 50  </h2>
If you are dating over 50 and looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, seize this opportunity to go out and have fun and find that special someone. 
All you need is to believe you are worthy and deserving of love. So tell yourself this every day until you believe it. 
That’s really all you need—a certainty that you are worthy of love, deserving of love, and lovable just the way you are. 
So be ready now. Please don’t look for someone perfect. They don’t exist.
Go out there knowing you are deeply, deeply, deeply lovable.
If you’re ready to take action toward an amazing, loving life now, then <a href="https://shop.marisapeer.com/products/attract-your-perfect-relationship?_pos=3&_sid=212da710f&_ss=r&_ga=2.21741307.1133005434.1669202762-472834814.1628088891&utm_source=organic+&utm_campaign=mp-blog-dating-over-50-how-to-successfully-find-love-and-keep-it-later-in-life%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">check out my Attract Your Perfect Relationship audio course</a>. This powerful course helps to rewire your mind to exude an aura of lovability and confidence that attracts and maintains loving and lasting relationships.
When you have this lovability and confidence, you will find your thoughts radiate from you and back to you like a boomerang. You’ll start to develop relationships with people who match your thinking and love you for you. 
That truly is the beautiful secret of finding and keeping long-lasting love. 
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